I have faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence.
By Anonymous
I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
By Anonymous
I had dreams and I've had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.
By Anonymous
I feel sorry for Cupid's mother. How'd you like to try to toilet-train an armed kid who can fly?
By Anonymous
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
By Anonymous
I don't need your attitude I have one of my own.
By Anonymous
I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.
By Anonymous
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow.
By Anonymous
I close my eyes in order to see.
By Anonymous
I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold.
By Anonymous
I can lead you to the water but I can't let you drink.
By Anonymous
I believe in the Big Bang theory. God spoke and BANG! It was.
By Anonymous
I am the world's greatest authority on my own opinion.
By Anonymous
I asked for everything so I could enjoy life. Instead, He gave me life so I could enjoy everything.
By Anonymous
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
By Anonymous
I am not religious, I just love the Lord.
By Anonymous
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
By Anonymous
I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don't count it.
By Anonymous
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
By Anonymous
I always knew that looking back on my tears would someday make me laugh, but I never knew that looking back on my laughter would someday make me cry.
By Anonymous
I always thought looking back on the times I cried would make me laugh; but I never knew looking back on the times I laughed would make me cry.
By Anonymous
I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
By Anonymous
Human things must be known to be loved: but Divine things must be loved to be known.
By Anonymous
Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.
By Anonymous
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
By Anonymous
Hugs are not measured by quantity; they are measured by quality.
By Anonymous
How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
By Anonymous
How do you start your days? Good morning Lord or Good Lord, morning.
By Anonymous
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
By Anonymous
Honour thy error as hidden intention.
By Anonymous
