Anonymous Quotes
Anonymous Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Anonymous quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Anonymous. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
If you need a nickel, I'll give you a dime. But if your looking for a man, don't be fuckin with mine.
By Anonymous
99% of all people in the world walk around with blinders on. The other 1% walk around in total amazement.
By Anonymous
A bad attitude is the only true disability in life, they just dont hand out those spiffy handicapped license plates for it.
By Anonymous
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
By Anonymous
A duck walks into a chemist and asks for a condom. The guy at the chemist said, 'Do you want me to put it on your bill?'. The duck said, 'No! What do you think I am, a dickhead or something?'.
By Anonymous
A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
By Anonymous
A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.
By Anonymous
Confucious say: - fool man climb tree to get cherries; wise man spread limbs. - man who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. - man who live in glass house should bathe in the basement. - man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead. - man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. - woman who cooks carrots and pees in same pot very unsanitary. - man who goes to bed with an itchy butt wakes up with a smelly finger
By Anonymous
Dear Signore Direttore, Now I am a-tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London an stay as a-younga cristan man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep whit no shit i my bed? So I calla down to the receptione and tella: 'I wanta shit'. They tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'No,no I wanta shit in my bed'. They say: 'You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch'. What is sonna-wa-bitch? I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: 'I wanta piss'. She tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'I wata piss on my plate'. She then say to me: 'You'd bloody not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch'. That is the second person who do not even know me calla me 'sonna-wa-bitch', an why is your staff replying 'Go to toilet', is that a modern tella? I do no understand, Please tella me! Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: 'I wanta fock'. And she tella me: 'Sure, everyone wanta fock'. I say: 'No,no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table'. She tella me: So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here! How comma this cristian hotel tella the guest in such bad manner? So I go to receptioneand ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: 'Thank you and piss on you'. I say: 'Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch, I go back to Italy'. Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch. Sincerely Dicci Elgre
By Anonymous