Anonymous Quotes | Quotesoup

Worst part of the night, sober enough to remember her number and drunk enough to call.

By Anonymous

You all know about the Darwin Awards -- It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him while he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

By Anonymous

You are one load your mother should have swallowed.

By Anonymous

You can't get a no if you don't ask.

By Anonymous

You can't make somebody love you. You can only stalk them and hope they give in.

By Anonymous

You can't run from death forever.... but you can make the bastard work for it.

By Anonymous

You don't have to conform to the values of your peers. It gets pretty boring sitting home every night though.

By Anonymous

SLEEP: A poor substitute for caffeine.

By Anonymous

SLEEP: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

By Anonymous

Slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison.

By Anonymous

Smile, Satan hates you.

By Anonymous

Solution to 2 of the worlds major problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry...

By Anonymous

Some might say I'm a right-wing, reactionary fanatic who had a horrible upbringing because his father beat him everyday with a bible, but it never did me any harm.

By Anonymous

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...

By Anonymous

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.

By Anonymous

The more I know people, the more I love my dog.

By Anonymous

The most common cellular phone has 666 channels...

By Anonymous

The most common form of marriage proposal: 'YOU'RE WHAT!?'

By Anonymous

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

By Anonymous

The question is not if you are paranoid, it is if you are paranoid enough

By Anonymous

The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.

By Anonymous

The reason attempted suicide is illegal: The government can't tax you if you're dead.

By Anonymous

The world is nothing but a vast concerted attempt to catch you with your pants down!

By Anonymous

The world would be a better place without me, and I simply will not allow that.

By Anonymous

The worst part of winning a rat race is not that you win, but the fact that you're still a rat.

By Anonymous

There is a fine line between sanity and insanity: Come walk it with us.

By Anonymous

There is more probability of aliens than there is of god so why is it that when someone says they believe in aliens, they are completely crazy. But if they believe in some all powerful invisible dude in the sky, they are on the road to success?

By Anonymous

There is nothing friendlier than a wet dog.

By Anonymous

There is still time for things to go horribly wrong.

By Anonymous

They say money doesnt buy happiness. I wouldn't know. I dont have any money. But one thing I have learned is this: Poverty doesn't buy happiness.

By Anonymous