Schizophrenia beats being alone.
By Anonymous
Sex is like a bridge game, if you don't have a good partner you had better have a good hand.
By Anonymous
Sex is like air, it isn't important unless you aren't getting any.
By Anonymous
I'm not an alchemist, I can't turn shit into gold!
By Anonymous
I'm not schizophrenic... At least, that's what the voices tell me.
By Anonymous
I'm sweating like a pedophile in a nursery
By Anonymous
I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do, is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
By Anonymous
I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woken up with a few.
By Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed, fuck the world and smoke some weed.
By Anonymous
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
By Anonymous
If capitalism works, why are there so many stupid rich people?
By Anonymous
If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.
By Anonymous
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would have farted.
By Anonymous
If you can't be a good example, be a terrible warning.
By Anonymous
If you can't lower heaven, raise hell
By Anonymous
If you have sex with your clone, are you gay or are you masturbating?
By Anonymous
If you love someone set them free! If they don't come back hunt them down and kill them.
By Anonymous
If you love something, set if free. If it doesn't return, hunt it down and kill it.
By Anonymous
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try different position.
By Anonymous
If you think you've hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.
By Anonymous
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
By Anonymous
If you're arguing with an idiot make sure he isn't doing the same thing.
By Anonymous
In an atomic war, all men will be cremated equal.
By Anonymous
In the land of the blind, the man with one eye will be stoned to death...
By Anonymous
Incest is best: if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.
By Anonymous
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
By Anonymous
