Henny Youngman Quotes
Henny Youngman Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Henny Youngman quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Henny Youngman. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
By Henny Youngman
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
By Henny Youngman
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle
By Henny Youngman
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
By Henny Youngman
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late
By Henny Youngman
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late.
By Henny Youngman
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in
By Henny Youngman
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
By Henny Youngman
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
By Henny Youngman
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
By Henny Youngman
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. 'Since when do you wear pantyhose?' 'Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!'
By Henny Youngman
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, 'Do you see what's going on in Poland?' The other says, 'I live in the back, I don't see anything.'
By Henny Youngman
A bum asked me, 'Give me $10 till payday.' I asked, 'When's payday?' He said, 'I don't know, you're the one who is working!'
By Henny Youngman
A bum came up to me saying, 'I haven't eaten in two days!' I said, 'You should force yourself!'
By Henny Youngman
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, 'Are you comfortable?' The man says, 'I make a good living.'
By Henny Youngman