A Bit Of Fry And Laurie Quotes
Hugh: Good evening and welcome to Realizing I've Given The Wrong Directions To...â?. Tonight I shall be Realizing I've Given The Wrong Directions To Rabbi Michael Leibovitz. Rabbi... [suddenly realises, mutters: ]
Hugh: Oh, god.
Hugh: Oh, god.
Movie: A Bit of Fry and Laurie
Stephen: I stooped to pick a buttercup. Why people leave buttocks lying around, I've no idea.
Movie: A Bit of Fry and Laurie
Stephen: The reason we're not going to do this sketch is that it contains a great deal of sex and violence.
Hugh: A great deal.
Stephen: Lots of sex and violence.
Hugh: That's right. During the sketch, Stephen hits me several times with a golf club.
Stephen: Which of course wouldn't matter except that I do it very sexily.
Hugh: That's the trouble, you see. He does it so sexily. I wish you could see it.
Stephen: And then the sketch ends with us going to bed together...
Hugh: ...violently.
Stephen: Very, very violently. Now this raises problems.
Hugh: Not for me.
Hugh: A great deal.
Stephen: Lots of sex and violence.
Hugh: That's right. During the sketch, Stephen hits me several times with a golf club.
Stephen: Which of course wouldn't matter except that I do it very sexily.
Hugh: That's the trouble, you see. He does it so sexily. I wish you could see it.
Stephen: And then the sketch ends with us going to bed together...
Hugh: ...violently.
Stephen: Very, very violently. Now this raises problems.
Hugh: Not for me.
Movie: A Bit of Fry and Laurie
[vox pop]
Hugh: Moira Stewart... and Jill Gascoigne... neither of them wrote back. Can you believe these people? I mean how much trouble can it be to just bung a pair of stockings in the post?
Hugh: Moira Stewart... and Jill Gascoigne... neither of them wrote back. Can you believe these people? I mean how much trouble can it be to just bung a pair of stockings in the post?
Movie: A Bit of Fry and Laurie
[vox pop]
Stephen: Used to be this chap at my school called Richard Braine. You'll never guess our nickname for him. We used to call him Rick Brain. Oh, no, that can't be right.
Stephen: Used to be this chap at my school called Richard Braine. You'll never guess our nickname for him. We used to call him Rick Brain. Oh, no, that can't be right.
Movie: A Bit of Fry and Laurie
[vox pop]
Stephen: Allergies? Well, I'm not good on strawberries, come out in a bit of a rash. The worst one though is Marmite. Only got to smell the stuff and I start voting Conservative.
Stephen: Allergies? Well, I'm not good on strawberries, come out in a bit of a rash. The worst one though is Marmite. Only got to smell the stuff and I start voting Conservative.
Movie: A Bit of Fry and Laurie
[Spoonbending with Mr. Nude]
Stephen Fry: Well next week I shall be examining the claims of a man who says that in a previous existence he was Education Secretary Kenneth Baker and I shall be talking to a woman who claims she can make flowers grow just by planting seeds in soil and watering them. Until then, wait very quietly in your seats please. Goodnight.
Stephen Fry: Well next week I shall be examining the claims of a man who says that in a previous existence he was Education Secretary Kenneth Baker and I shall be talking to a woman who claims she can make flowers grow just by planting seeds in soil and watering them. Until then, wait very quietly in your seats please. Goodnight.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Tricky Linguistics]
Hugh Laurie: : So let's talk instead about flexibility of language - um, linguistic elasticity, if you'd like.
Stephen Fry: : Yes, I think that I've said earlier that our language, English -
L: As spoken by us.
F: As we speak it, yes, certainly, defines us. We are defined by our language, if you will.
L: [to screen] Hello. We're talking about language.
F: Perhaps I can illustrate my point. Let me at least try. Here is a question: um...
L: What is it?
F: Oh! Um... my question is this: is our language - English - capable... is English capable of sustaining demagoguery?
L: Demagoguery?
F: Demagoguery.
L: And by "demagoguery" you mean...
F: By "demagoguery" I mean demagoguery...
L: I thought so.
F: I mean highly-charged oratory, persuasive whipping-up rhetoric. Listen to me, listen to me. If Hitler had been British, would we, under similar circumstances, have been moved, charged up, fired up by his inflammatory speeches, or would we simply have laughed? Is English too ironic to sustain Hitlerian styles? Would his language simply have rung false in our ears?
L: [to screen] We're talking about things ringing false in our ears.
F: May I compartmentalize - I hate to, but may I, may I: is our language a function of our British cynicism, tolerance, resistance to false emotion, humour, and so on, or do those qualities come extrinsically - extrinsically - from the language itself? It's a chicken and egg problem.
L: [to screen] We're talking about chickens, we're talking about eggs.
F: Um... let me start a leveret here: there's language and there's speech. Um, there's chess and
Hugh Laurie: : So let's talk instead about flexibility of language - um, linguistic elasticity, if you'd like.
Stephen Fry: : Yes, I think that I've said earlier that our language, English -
L: As spoken by us.
F: As we speak it, yes, certainly, defines us. We are defined by our language, if you will.
L: [to screen] Hello. We're talking about language.
F: Perhaps I can illustrate my point. Let me at least try. Here is a question: um...
L: What is it?
F: Oh! Um... my question is this: is our language - English - capable... is English capable of sustaining demagoguery?
L: Demagoguery?
F: Demagoguery.
L: And by "demagoguery" you mean...
F: By "demagoguery" I mean demagoguery...
L: I thought so.
F: I mean highly-charged oratory, persuasive whipping-up rhetoric. Listen to me, listen to me. If Hitler had been British, would we, under similar circumstances, have been moved, charged up, fired up by his inflammatory speeches, or would we simply have laughed? Is English too ironic to sustain Hitlerian styles? Would his language simply have rung false in our ears?
L: [to screen] We're talking about things ringing false in our ears.
F: May I compartmentalize - I hate to, but may I, may I: is our language a function of our British cynicism, tolerance, resistance to false emotion, humour, and so on, or do those qualities come extrinsically - extrinsically - from the language itself? It's a chicken and egg problem.
L: [to screen] We're talking about chickens, we're talking about eggs.
F: Um... let me start a leveret here: there's language and there's speech. Um, there's chess and
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Costume Design]
Hugh Laurie: Can I just interrupt you here?
Stephen Fry: Certainly, Peter.
Hugh Laurie: Thanks.
Stephen Fry: Pleasure.
Hugh Laurie: Can I just interrupt you here?
Stephen Fry: Certainly, Peter.
Hugh Laurie: Thanks.
Stephen Fry: Pleasure.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Prize Poem]
Stephen Fry: I can't pretend to be much of a judge of poetry, I'm an English teacher, not a homosexual.
Stephen Fry: I can't pretend to be much of a judge of poetry, I'm an English teacher, not a homosexual.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Estate Agents]
Stephen Fry: Estate Agents you can't live with them, you can't live with them. If you try and kill them, you're put in prison: if you try and talk to them, you vomit. There's only one thing worse than an estate agent but at least that can be safely lanced, drained and surgically dressed. Estate agents. Love them or loathe them, you'd be mad not to loathe them.
Stephen Fry: Estate Agents you can't live with them, you can't live with them. If you try and kill them, you're put in prison: if you try and talk to them, you vomit. There's only one thing worse than an estate agent but at least that can be safely lanced, drained and surgically dressed. Estate agents. Love them or loathe them, you'd be mad not to loathe them.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Cocoa]
Stephen Fry: [voiceover] Good old Berent's cocoa. Always there. Original or New Berent's, specially prepared for the mature citizens in your life, with nature's added store of powerful barbiturates and heroin.
Stephen Fry: [voiceover] Good old Berent's cocoa. Always there. Original or New Berent's, specially prepared for the mature citizens in your life, with nature's added store of powerful barbiturates and heroin.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Dammit!]
Hugh Laurie: A good wife, or a good business partner?
Stephen Fry: Is there a difference, Peter?
Hugh Laurie: I hope so, John.
Hugh Laurie: A good wife, or a good business partner?
Stephen Fry: Is there a difference, Peter?
Hugh Laurie: I hope so, John.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Vox Pop]
Hugh Laurie: [with an electronic organiser] Ask me anything, a telephone number, what time it is in Adelaide. Tell you what, I can tell you exactly what I'll be doing on the third of August 1997, say. Hang on... [presses a few buttons]. Nothing. See, it says. Nothing.
Hugh Laurie: [with an electronic organiser] Ask me anything, a telephone number, what time it is in Adelaide. Tell you what, I can tell you exactly what I'll be doing on the third of August 1997, say. Hang on... [presses a few buttons]. Nothing. See, it says. Nothing.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Over To You]
Presenter: Did your children see the ... ?
Hugh Laurie: No they didn't. They didn't see it. But only thanks to the purest good fortune that they don't happen to have been born yet, otherwise I dread to think what damage may have been caused. It was simply disgusting.
Presenter: Did your children see the ... ?
Hugh Laurie: No they didn't. They didn't see it. But only thanks to the purest good fortune that they don't happen to have been born yet, otherwise I dread to think what damage may have been caused. It was simply disgusting.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Dinner With Digby]
Hugh Laurie: Our Venice is being taken away from us. It's crawling with Germans.
Leslie: And Italians.
Hugh Laurie: Our Venice is being taken away from us. It's crawling with Germans.
Leslie: And Italians.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Amputated Genitals]
Stephen Fry: I appreciate that you're trying to help here, but I also used my genitals for, you know, expelling urine.
Hugh Laurie: That's the beauty of the system. When people see you in a combat jacket and driving around in a white van with Killer in the back, the piss will be taken out of you constantly.
Stephen Fry: I appreciate that you're trying to help here, but I also used my genitals for, you know, expelling urine.
Hugh Laurie: That's the beauty of the system. When people see you in a combat jacket and driving around in a white van with Killer in the back, the piss will be taken out of you constantly.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Bomb in a Restaurant]
Hugh Laurie: [nervously] Good evening. Table for bomb, please.
Hugh Laurie: [nervously] Good evening. Table for bomb, please.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Vox Pop]
Stephen Fry: Well, I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson.
Stephen Fry: Well, I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Stephen Fry: It's ludicrously easy to knock Mrs. Thatcher, isn't it? It's the simplest, easiest and most obvious thing in the world to remark that she's a shameful, putrid scab, an embarrassing, ludicrous monstrosity that makes one frankly ashamed to be British and that her ideas and standards are a stain on our national history. That's easy! Anyone can see that! Nothing difficult about that! But after tonight, no one will ever accuse us again with failing to come up with something to take her place. Hugh?
[Hugh Laurie pulls out a coat hanger]
[Hugh Laurie pulls out a coat hanger]
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Stephen: Twenty-five years ago the doctors told your mother and me that it would be impossible for us ever to have children.
Hugh: Oh, why not?
Stephen: I can't remember the exact reason; it was something to do with penises I think.
Hugh: Oh, why not?
Stephen: I can't remember the exact reason; it was something to do with penises I think.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Hugh Laurie: Yes, I drive a Vauxhall Nova Splash. Uh, it's a limited edition. I think they only made one and a half million of them.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Hugh: Well we had our first child on the NHS and had to wait nine months, can you believe it.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Hugh Laurie: I've always been a Daily Mail reader. I prefer it to a newspaper.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Hugh Laurie: [Walking away] No, I can't stop, I'm afraid. My wife is being towed away.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Fry: In my dreams I've played snooker with Stephen Hendry. I've sung with Barbra Streisand and I've been to bed with Anneka Rice. In reality I've played snooker with Barbra Streisand, I've sung with Anneka Rice and I've been to bed with Stephen Hendry. Sometimes life can be even better than the dream.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Stephen Fry: How may we serve?
Hugh Laurie: Well, I was after a pair of shoes.
Stephen Fry: Very well. I shall serve them first.
Hugh Laurie: Well, I was after a pair of shoes.
Stephen Fry: Very well. I shall serve them first.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Stephen Fry: Ah. I fancy I detect a wrinkle of concern on your otherwise smooth and toboggonable brow. Yes, your intimations are right. Business is not what it was. It is not even what it is. It may not even be what it will be. We shall see. If it... Mr Dalliard, I've started to talk drivel now!
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
[Barman]
Hugh Laurie: You ever been trapped in a loveless marriage with a woman you despise?
Stephen Fry: Ooh, not since I was nine! Do you like it straight up?
Laurie: What?
Fry: [holding up his drink] Or with ice?
Laurie: Ice.
Fry: Right-ho. [adds ice] Cocktail onion?
Laurie: No thanks.
Hugh Laurie: You ever been trapped in a loveless marriage with a woman you despise?
Stephen Fry: Ooh, not since I was nine! Do you like it straight up?
Laurie: What?
Fry: [holding up his drink] Or with ice?
Laurie: Ice.
Fry: Right-ho. [adds ice] Cocktail onion?
Laurie: No thanks.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
Hugh Laurie: She takes no interest in my friends, you know. She laughs at my…
Stephen Fry: Peanuts?
Hugh Laurie: Hobbies. She doesn't even value my…
Stephen Fry: Crinkle-cut cheesy Wotsit?
Hugh Laurie: Career. You know, it's just so depressing. Alright, so other men have got larger…
Stephen Fry: Plums?
Hugh Laurie: Salaries. And better prospects. And other men can boast a healthier-looking…
Stephen Fry: Stool?
Hugh Laurie: [sitting on stool] Lifestyle.
Stephen Fry: Peanuts?
Hugh Laurie: Hobbies. She doesn't even value my…
Stephen Fry: Crinkle-cut cheesy Wotsit?
Hugh Laurie: Career. You know, it's just so depressing. Alright, so other men have got larger…
Stephen Fry: Plums?
Hugh Laurie: Salaries. And better prospects. And other men can boast a healthier-looking…
Stephen Fry: Stool?
Hugh Laurie: [sitting on stool] Lifestyle.
TV Show: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie