ANI: A Parody Quotes
Podracing Announcer: And they're headed for the finish line, the dust is too thick, I can't make out who it is. Wait, who is it? It's - it's - Ani! [first lines]
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: It's a double meaning! A humorous play on words, and... that's where the comedy comes in. [repeated line]
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Why don't you ask me where I got my new cape. [Shuffles through index cards]
Motti: Uh... where did you...
Ani: At the darth mall.
Motti: Uh... where did you...
Ani: At the darth mall.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: I was thinking, once they're both done, we take the two death stars, we latch them together, to make a giant... pair of tatties.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Hey Tarky, what do you call a guy that drinks too much java? Like he drinks so much java he gets all fat like a slug and he can't move? What do you call him?
Tarkin: [pause]Yes, well, I think I know the punchline, but it's so stupid I almost don't want to say it out loud.
Tarkin: [pause]Yes, well, I think I know the punchline, but it's so stupid I almost don't want to say it out loud.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Alright, let's just pop in the old home movies. [pulls out a VHS of Star Wars Episode I]
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Has anyone ever screwed up and said that? They'd be like, Hey! Quit Tarkin all the muff! Has anyone ever done that?
Tarkin: [Glares at Ani]Yes, well actually, you've yelled that at me a number of times.
Tarkin: [Glares at Ani]Yes, well actually, you've yelled that at me a number of times.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: What the hell is this? Screw you, Obi-Wan! I just like to fast forward to the Jar Jar parts.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Sometimes I'll be talking to these kids, and I'll make a joke about Dash Rendar, for example, and they'll look at me like I'm from outer space.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: I mean, don't get me wrong. I butchered my fair share of defenseless Sandpeople. Then I cried about it. [pause]
Ani: I also choked my pregnant wife to death. I cried about that too.
Mara: Eww. Ani. I would've rather not known any of that.
Ani: I also choked my pregnant wife to death. I cried about that too.
Mara: Eww. Ani. I would've rather not known any of that.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Tarkin: Oh, they're coming over here! Please pretend I've said something very humorous!
Ani: Got it. [laughs loudly]
Ani: You're right, the Death Star does look like a huge tit!
Ani: Got it. [laughs loudly]
Ani: You're right, the Death Star does look like a huge tit!
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Hey, where you going? This guy likes ya. He's the Casanova of Coruscant. He's Tarkin all the muff.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
J.J.: They be saying that mesa stupid... that mesa annoying. Everybody says that mesa ruined dis whole universe!
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: What's the one thing Jabba asks for when he goes to a seafood restaurant? [pause]
Ani: Bib for tuna. [Ba dum tss]
Ani: Bib for tuna. [Ba dum tss]
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Does your voice get any whinier? Like you could say something like: [mimics Hayden Christiansen]
Ani: Now that I'm with you, I'm in agony. Really lay it on thick, make her feel guilty. And if all else fails, slaughter a village of Sandpeople.
Ani: Now that I'm with you, I'm in agony. Really lay it on thick, make her feel guilty. And if all else fails, slaughter a village of Sandpeople.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Obi-Wan Kenobi: [Holding his head]It's as if a million voices cried out in terror... and then were suddenly silenced. [pause]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I have the worst hangover in history.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I have the worst hangover in history.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You see, only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Tarkin: Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense at all.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I on the other hand, deal in Absolut! [drinks from a bottle of vodka]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Whoo! We're having fun now, man!
Tarkin: Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense at all.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I on the other hand, deal in Absolut! [drinks from a bottle of vodka]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Whoo! We're having fun now, man!
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: Jesus Christ. I thought these jokes would slay, but you guys don't know dick about Star Wars.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Don't you see, don't you see, there has to be a balance in harmony between light and the dark side. And to create that harmony, we wanted to wipe out the dark side! And then all of a sudden two Siths come along and they kill all but two Jedis? That's not balance.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Tarkin: Do you remember Ani?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes. I loved him like a brother. So I cut him in half... and I put him in a volcano.
Tarkin: Oh... well... he's better now.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes. I loved him like a brother. So I cut him in half... and I put him in a volcano.
Tarkin: Oh... well... he's better now.
Movie: ANI: A Parody
Ani: To tell you the truth I lost about every lightsaber battle I ever had. The only time I actually won anything was against a bunch of kids. [Horrified laughs]
Ani: But that was a really close call. Those were some nimble younglings. Could have gone either way.
Ani: But that was a really close call. Those were some nimble younglings. Could have gone either way.
Movie: ANI: A Parody