Baywatch Quotes
Summer Quinn: [about CJ Parker]Why does she always look like she's running in slow-mo?
Ronnie Greenbaum: You see it too?
Summer Quinn: And she always looks wet, but not too wet.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Right? She's the reason I believe in God.
Ronnie Greenbaum: You see it too?
Summer Quinn: And she always looks wet, but not too wet.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Right? She's the reason I believe in God.
Movie: Baywatch
[the Mentor sits next to Mitch, bare chested, on deck chairs] The Mentor: Do I look like a tiny little asshole next to him?
Movie: Baywatch
Matt Brody: Ronnie, I need your help. Because as much as I know about laptops, I don't know shit about computers...
Movie: Baywatch
Victoria Leeds: Time to die, boys.
Mitch Buchannon: No! I was born of the sea. I eat fire coral and I piss salt water. I scratch my back with a whale's dick, and I loofah my chest with his ballsack.
Victoria Leeds: What the fuck?
Mitch Buchannon: I'll die when the tide stops and the moon drowns. Until then... I'm oceanic, motherfucker.
Victoria Leeds: How tacky.
Mitch Buchannon: No! I was born of the sea. I eat fire coral and I piss salt water. I scratch my back with a whale's dick, and I loofah my chest with his ballsack.
Victoria Leeds: What the fuck?
Mitch Buchannon: I'll die when the tide stops and the moon drowns. Until then... I'm oceanic, motherfucker.
Victoria Leeds: How tacky.
Movie: Baywatch
[flaming clothing lands on Matt] Matt Brody: That wasn't so bad. [a dismembered foot lands on Matt]
Matt Brody: [screams]
Mitch Buchannon: That's good luck, pick it up.
Matt Brody: [screams]
Mitch Buchannon: That's good luck, pick it up.
Movie: Baywatch
Frankie: Leon's not a man of words he's a man of action. [after Leon speaks]
Frankie: See now you've gone and ruined it again.
Frankie: See now you've gone and ruined it again.
Movie: Baywatch
[final scene] Mitch Buchannon: Uh, guys, after finding the drugs, helping save Chen and helping me blow up the bad girl with a Roman candle, it's a pleasure to say you are officially no longer trainees.
CJ Parker: Whoo! [everyone applauds]
Mitch Buchannon: Congratulations!
CJ Parker: Yeah, guys.
Mitch Buchannon: Hey, guys, one more important thing. I want to introduce you to our new captain who has been running our Hawaii division very successfully for years now: the amazing Captain Casey Jean. [Casey Jean appears in slow motion. Matt and Ronnie are stunned]
Ronnie Greenbaum: Is it just me, or is she in...
Stephanie Holden: *Super* slow motion?
Summer Quinn: Yeah.
CJ Parker: [dryly]Wow. This is gonna take a while.
Mitch Buchannon: [winks]That's how we roll.
CJ Parker: Whoo! [everyone applauds]
Mitch Buchannon: Congratulations!
CJ Parker: Yeah, guys.
Mitch Buchannon: Hey, guys, one more important thing. I want to introduce you to our new captain who has been running our Hawaii division very successfully for years now: the amazing Captain Casey Jean. [Casey Jean appears in slow motion. Matt and Ronnie are stunned]
Ronnie Greenbaum: Is it just me, or is she in...
Stephanie Holden: *Super* slow motion?
Summer Quinn: Yeah.
CJ Parker: [dryly]Wow. This is gonna take a while.
Mitch Buchannon: [winks]That's how we roll.
Movie: Baywatch
Matt Brody: There's no I in team, but there is a me.
Interviewer: Are you dyslexic?
Matt Brody: I'm... Caucasian.
Interviewer: Are you dyslexic?
Matt Brody: I'm... Caucasian.
Movie: Baywatch
Mitch Buchannon: How about diamond smugglers who are putting the rocks in surfboards and bringing them ashore?
Matt Brody: Everything that you guys are talking about sounds like a really, like, entertaining but far-fetched TV show.
Matt Brody: Everything that you guys are talking about sounds like a really, like, entertaining but far-fetched TV show.
Movie: Baywatch
Mitch Buchannon: My gut says there's some bad shit going on over there, and my balls say we need to go over there and check it out.
Matt Brody: Your balls said that?
Mitch Buchannon: Yes, they did.
Matt Brody: Okay, my balls say [in a high-pitched voice]
Matt Brody: just take it easy right here. Just chill.
Mitch Buchannon: Why the fuck do your balls sound like three-year-old girls?
Matt Brody: I don't know, man. That's just how they talk. But they're wise.
Matt Brody: Your balls said that?
Mitch Buchannon: Yes, they did.
Matt Brody: Okay, my balls say [in a high-pitched voice]
Matt Brody: just take it easy right here. Just chill.
Mitch Buchannon: Why the fuck do your balls sound like three-year-old girls?
Matt Brody: I don't know, man. That's just how they talk. But they're wise.
Movie: Baywatch
Matt Brody: So, Dave had access to Leeds' server.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Her server? You mean her network.
Matt Brody: Yeah, her network, that's what I meant. Okay, so we just take a flash drive, and we plug it in, you know, get in to her cloud, and then steal all her cookies, right, and then we're straight through the firewall.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Okay, literally none of what you said made any sense.
Matt Brody: Straight over the firewall.
Ronnie Greenbaum: It's not, like, a physical thing you do.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Her server? You mean her network.
Matt Brody: Yeah, her network, that's what I meant. Okay, so we just take a flash drive, and we plug it in, you know, get in to her cloud, and then steal all her cookies, right, and then we're straight through the firewall.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Okay, literally none of what you said made any sense.
Matt Brody: Straight over the firewall.
Ronnie Greenbaum: It's not, like, a physical thing you do.
Movie: Baywatch
Ronnie Greenbaum: She's like some sort of modern-day J Edgar Hoover.
Matt Brody: The vacuum guy.
Ronnie Greenbaum: No.
Matt Brody: The vacuum guy.
Ronnie Greenbaum: No.
Movie: Baywatch
Matt Brody: Will it work? Maybe. Will there be some surprises along the way? Abso-fucking-lutely. Is anyone gonna die? I don't know. Maybe Ronnie.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Sorry, what?
Ronnie Greenbaum: Sorry, what?
Movie: Baywatch
Matt Brody: You're fucking crazy.
Victoria Leeds: If I was a man you'd call me driven.
Victoria Leeds: If I was a man you'd call me driven.
Movie: Baywatch
Ronnie Greenbaum: I've never seen any interface like this! I don't know what to fucking do!
CJ Parker: Hey, look at me! You are the tech guy. You are the motherfucking tech guy. [she kisses him]
Ronnie Greenbaum: I'm the motherfucking tech guy.
CJ Parker: Hey, look at me! You are the tech guy. You are the motherfucking tech guy. [she kisses him]
Ronnie Greenbaum: I'm the motherfucking tech guy.
Movie: Baywatch