Becker Quotes
Dr. John Becker: Psychology, yeah, right. How hard can it be? "Hi. You hate your mother. That'll be a hundred bucks."
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: As opposed to, "Get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids, that'll be a hundred-fifty?"
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: As opposed to, "Get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids, that'll be a hundred-fifty?"
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Let me guess: long hair, sandals, has the pretentious college kid smirk you want to smack off with a baseball bat?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Geez, Becker, you never even met him. It's like you pre-hate him.
Dr. John Becker: Saves time.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Geez, Becker, you never even met him. It's like you pre-hate him.
Dr. John Becker: Saves time.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Just so you know, the only reason why he's helping you is because he wants to sleep with you.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Now, why would you say something like that?
Dr. John Becker: He's a college kid. Basically, that's a penis with a backpack.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Now, why would you say something like that?
Dr. John Becker: He's a college kid. Basically, that's a penis with a backpack.
TV Show: Becker
Jake: I might be running into some health problems. You see, I met this girl who's into astrology, right? She told me--
Dr. John Becker: Astrology! Congratulations, Reg. Psychology just moved up a notch.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Becker, astrology goes back thousands of years.
Dr. John Becker: Thousands years ago, people were crapping in their hats.
Dr. John Becker: Astrology! Congratulations, Reg. Psychology just moved up a notch.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Becker, astrology goes back thousands of years.
Dr. John Becker: Thousands years ago, people were crapping in their hats.
TV Show: Becker
Linda: (to Margaret) The important thing is that you were nice to someone. And, lucky you, they died.
TV Show: Becker
Linda: Think about it: you could come back rich.
Margaret: If I come back rich, I'm not coming back.
Margaret: If I come back rich, I'm not coming back.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: So, how are you feeling?
Patient: Good. But that's the problem. I read this article about people who can't feel pain, and I've been feeling fine lately. So, that got me thinking: what if I'm one of those people? I mean, I could be in excruciating pain right now and not even know it.
Dr. John Becker: Walter, that condition's called hyposensitivity, and I seriously doubt if you have it.
Patient: Well, I'd like to know for sure. Isn't there some kind of test you can run?
Dr. John Becker: (hits him with a reflex hammer, to which he yells in pain)
Patient: Good. But that's the problem. I read this article about people who can't feel pain, and I've been feeling fine lately. So, that got me thinking: what if I'm one of those people? I mean, I could be in excruciating pain right now and not even know it.
Dr. John Becker: Walter, that condition's called hyposensitivity, and I seriously doubt if you have it.
Patient: Well, I'd like to know for sure. Isn't there some kind of test you can run?
Dr. John Becker: (hits him with a reflex hammer, to which he yells in pain)
TV Show: Becker
Patient: What if I do get that disease? How will I know?
Dr. John Becker: All right. Here. (gives him the reflex hammer) Home test kit.
Dr. John Becker: All right. Here. (gives him the reflex hammer) Home test kit.
TV Show: Becker
Delivery man: Do you want 'em all right here?
Dr. John Becker: No, no, why don't you leave the truck outside for a couple of months and if I need anything, I'll just go out and get it?
Dr. John Becker: No, no, why don't you leave the truck outside for a couple of months and if I need anything, I'll just go out and get it?
TV Show: Becker
Linda: (looking through a phone book) Locksmith, locksmith, lava lamps. Oh, I've been looking for one of those.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Well, all the really classy places have lobsters in a tank. I guess rats in a box could catch on.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Am I the only one in this neighborhood who remembers that we're all here to help each other?
Theresa: Dr. Becker?
Dr. John Becker: Oh, what now?!
Theresa: Dr. Becker?
Dr. John Becker: Oh, what now?!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: What happened?
Theresa: Jimmy hit Sean with his hockey stick and cut his cheek.
Dr. John Becker: Don't you kids ever do this kind of stuff on weekends?
Theresa: Jimmy hit Sean with his hockey stick and cut his cheek.
Dr. John Becker: Don't you kids ever do this kind of stuff on weekends?
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Don't tell me you didn't order any bandages.
Linda: I ordered ten thousand. I'm just not sure where they are.
Dr. John Becker: Well, here's a good idea: LOOK!
Linda: I ordered ten thousand. I'm just not sure where they are.
Dr. John Becker: Well, here's a good idea: LOOK!
TV Show: Becker
Jake Malinak: I know it's none of my business, but this Brad guy sounds a little young for you.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: He's not that young.
Brad: Could you cut the crust off my sandwich?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Crust off. [gives thumbs up] Got it!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: He's not that young.
Brad: Could you cut the crust off my sandwich?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Crust off. [gives thumbs up] Got it!
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Jake Malinak: Hey, Reg? You know how women are always trying to change guys? Now you got one that'll probably need changing every couple hours.
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Dr. John Becker: Linda, will you answer that damn phone?
Linda: Oh, all right. [answers phone] Hello, damn doctor's office!
Linda: Oh, all right. [answers phone] Hello, damn doctor's office!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Linda, help Theresa catch that kid! And find me those damn bandages!
Linda: What about the kid?
Dr. John Becker: First, do what I tell you then do what I told you!
Linda: What about the kid?
Dr. John Becker: First, do what I tell you then do what I told you!
TV Show: Becker
Linda: You know, yelling doesn't solve anything!
Dr. John Becker: OH, YES IT DOES! IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!
Dr. John Becker: OH, YES IT DOES! IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: (to two firefighters) Oh, come on. Just because you hear an alarm, does that mean you have to come racing over?
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Dr. John Becker: You're fine, Jake. Just don't listen to any more of that astrology crap.
Jake Malinak: Yeah, I guess you're right. Although, I am an Ares and she did say that that's a fire sign--
Dr. John Becker: Oh, get out!
Jake Malinak: Yeah, I guess you're right. Although, I am an Ares and she did say that that's a fire sign--
Dr. John Becker: Oh, get out!
TV Show: Becker
Margaret: (sees all the boxes in the office) What the hell happened here?
Dr. John Becker: (long pause) Okay, here's the thing...
Dr. John Becker: (long pause) Okay, here's the thing...
TV Show: Becker
[After Becker, under doctor's orders to eat more healthily, orders a fruit salad at the diner]
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: [confused] Fruit!? You don't eat fruit, you hate fruit!
Dr. John Becker: Look, you don't want my business, there are plenty of places that'll give me fruit without an argument!
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Sorry! I'm just so used to you eating wrong.
Dr. John Becker: Of course I eat wrong; I eat here!
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: [confused] Fruit!? You don't eat fruit, you hate fruit!
Dr. John Becker: Look, you don't want my business, there are plenty of places that'll give me fruit without an argument!
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Sorry! I'm just so used to you eating wrong.
Dr. John Becker: Of course I eat wrong; I eat here!
TV Show: Becker
Bob: Bob knows what you're trying to do; you're trying to make him look bad in front of Reggie. Well, it won't work; she aches for me!
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: [coldly] Bob, you turn my stomach!
Bob: [undeterred] That's an ache.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: [coldly] Bob, you turn my stomach!
Bob: [undeterred] That's an ache.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Well, I went to my first anger class and it worked... I'm pissed as hell. I'm in a room with a bunch of psychos, they hand out pamphlets and get this: Its an anger symptom early warning device.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Its a rubber band.
Dr. John Becker: Oh! College girl! Anyway, I'm supposed to snap it every time I feel angry.
Jake Malinak: Doesn't that hurt?
Dr. John Becker: Yes.
Jake Malinak: Won't that make you more angry?
Dr. John Becker: Shut up.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Behavior modification works very well to help break behavioral patterns.
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, look Reg, a couple of classes at the institute of psychology and air conditioner repair doesn't qualify you to pepper me with dime-store generalities.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Its a rubber band.
Dr. John Becker: Oh! College girl! Anyway, I'm supposed to snap it every time I feel angry.
Jake Malinak: Doesn't that hurt?
Dr. John Becker: Yes.
Jake Malinak: Won't that make you more angry?
Dr. John Becker: Shut up.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Behavior modification works very well to help break behavioral patterns.
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, look Reg, a couple of classes at the institute of psychology and air conditioner repair doesn't qualify you to pepper me with dime-store generalities.
TV Show: Becker
[Becker storms into the diner]
Dr. John Becker: Well it's official, they finally turned New York into a police state! I'm driving to work, and like I do every morning when I get to the corner of White Plains Road and Lester Avenue, I turn right- and I know it's a one way street but I only go twenty five yards before I take a shortcut down this alley! Today, some idiot of a cop is lying in wait for me, and he tickets me for an illegal urn, broken tailight, no seatbelt, and oh yeah, no rear-view mirror! I'M GOING THE WRONG WAY DOWN A ONE-WAY STREET, THERE'S NOTHING BEHIND ME!
Dr. John Becker: Well it's official, they finally turned New York into a police state! I'm driving to work, and like I do every morning when I get to the corner of White Plains Road and Lester Avenue, I turn right- and I know it's a one way street but I only go twenty five yards before I take a shortcut down this alley! Today, some idiot of a cop is lying in wait for me, and he tickets me for an illegal urn, broken tailight, no seatbelt, and oh yeah, no rear-view mirror! I'M GOING THE WRONG WAY DOWN A ONE-WAY STREET, THERE'S NOTHING BEHIND ME!
TV Show: Becker