Becker Quotes
Margaret Wyborn: [After Becker invites her into his apartment in his underpants] Either I'm early or this is a different kind of party!
TV Show: Becker
[Linda stands up with a post-it note stuck on her forehead]
Linda: I had a message for Margaret but I can't find it.
Dr. John Becker: Was it to tell her Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, it's like you read my mind.
Dr. John Becker: Some are easier than others.
[Becker walks away and Margaret comes in]
Linda: I have a message for you.
Margaret: Was it to tell me Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, you people are freakin' scary.
[Linda goes in the back]
Dr. John Becker: I won't tell her if you won't tell her.
Linda: I had a message for Margaret but I can't find it.
Dr. John Becker: Was it to tell her Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, it's like you read my mind.
Dr. John Becker: Some are easier than others.
[Becker walks away and Margaret comes in]
Linda: I have a message for you.
Margaret: Was it to tell me Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, you people are freakin' scary.
[Linda goes in the back]
Dr. John Becker: I won't tell her if you won't tell her.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Uh-Linda?
Linda, Lynda: Yes?
Dr. John Becker: I meant Linda.
Linda, Lynda: Yes?
Margaret: You're both named Linda?
Linda, Lynda: Yes.
Dr. John Becker: I just had that creepy feeling I had in medical school watching the cell divide.
Linda, Lynda: Yes?
Dr. John Becker: I meant Linda.
Linda, Lynda: Yes?
Margaret: You're both named Linda?
Linda, Lynda: Yes.
Dr. John Becker: I just had that creepy feeling I had in medical school watching the cell divide.
TV Show: Becker
Linda: She can help out. She can do half my work.
Margaret: Doing half your work is what you do.
Margaret: Doing half your work is what you do.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Of all the things we needed around here, another Linda was not one of them.
TV Show: Becker
Margaret: Just for today, you are Beth.
Lynda: I don't like the name Beth.
Linda: I do, can I be Beth?
Lynda: I want to be Beth too.
Margaret: You can't both be Beth.
Linda: Why? We're both Linda.
Lynda: Let's pick our own names.
Linda: I want to be Margaret.
Lynda: No, I want to be Margaret.
Margaret: I want to be dead.
Lynda: I don't like the name Beth.
Linda: I do, can I be Beth?
Lynda: I want to be Beth too.
Margaret: You can't both be Beth.
Linda: Why? We're both Linda.
Lynda: Let's pick our own names.
Linda: I want to be Margaret.
Lynda: No, I want to be Margaret.
Margaret: I want to be dead.
TV Show: Becker
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Doesn't what she did piss you off?
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, it just doesn't surprise me because I happen to feel that most people are cruel, small-minded and shallow.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Oh, come on, Becker, if I believed that then I'd have to believe that the entire world just sucks.
Dr. John Becker: Thank you! That's what I've been trying to tell you every single morning for the past two years! Thank you.
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, it just doesn't surprise me because I happen to feel that most people are cruel, small-minded and shallow.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Oh, come on, Becker, if I believed that then I'd have to believe that the entire world just sucks.
Dr. John Becker: Thank you! That's what I've been trying to tell you every single morning for the past two years! Thank you.
TV Show: Becker
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: I was born and raised in New York, and I've never been to the top of the Empire State Building!
Linda: Really? I was conceived up here! Well, acually it was in the elevator.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: [incredulous] Your parents did it in the elevator!?
Linda: Well they weren't going to do it on the stairs, they're not animals!
Linda: Really? I was conceived up here! Well, acually it was in the elevator.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: [incredulous] Your parents did it in the elevator!?
Linda: Well they weren't going to do it on the stairs, they're not animals!
TV Show: Becker
Linda: You had motive, you had opportunity, and let's not forget yesterday you said you wanted to kill him.
Dr. John Becker: If I was capable of killing someone would you still be alive?
[Becker walks into the back]
Linda: [to Margaret] He didn't do it.
Dr. John Becker: If I was capable of killing someone would you still be alive?
[Becker walks into the back]
Linda: [to Margaret] He didn't do it.
TV Show: Becker
Becker: What's the matter with you people? I didn't kill that guy.
Bob: [coming out of phone booth] Hey, Becker, you know that guy you killed? I just got his job.
Becker: I didn't kill anybody, Bob! What'd you just say?
Bob: I'm your new super.
Becker: But Alexei just died this morning. How could you even know about the job?
Bob: I owe it all to Linda.
Becker: Linda helped you? My Linda?
Bob: If, by "help", you mean left your office as soon as she heard the old super croaked, ran to your building, gave them my resume—which, by the way, she wrote—acted as a reference, and wouldn't leave until they agreed to hire me, then, yeah, she helped!
Becker: But you don't know anything about being a super!
Bob: What's to know? Jake can do it, for crying out loud!
Jake: Hey!
Bob: Not to mention it's the deal of a lifetime—good salary, free apartment, and I get to sit on my ass all day and pretend I don't speak English. It's what I was born to do!
Becker: This can't be happening.
Bob: Don't worry. Whatever you need, day or night, my door is always open, and thanks to my new passkey, so is yours.
Reggie: Jake, do you realize what this means?
Jake: Yeah, Bob has someplace else to go.
Bob: [coming out of phone booth] Hey, Becker, you know that guy you killed? I just got his job.
Becker: I didn't kill anybody, Bob! What'd you just say?
Bob: I'm your new super.
Becker: But Alexei just died this morning. How could you even know about the job?
Bob: I owe it all to Linda.
Becker: Linda helped you? My Linda?
Bob: If, by "help", you mean left your office as soon as she heard the old super croaked, ran to your building, gave them my resume—which, by the way, she wrote—acted as a reference, and wouldn't leave until they agreed to hire me, then, yeah, she helped!
Becker: But you don't know anything about being a super!
Bob: What's to know? Jake can do it, for crying out loud!
Jake: Hey!
Bob: Not to mention it's the deal of a lifetime—good salary, free apartment, and I get to sit on my ass all day and pretend I don't speak English. It's what I was born to do!
Becker: This can't be happening.
Bob: Don't worry. Whatever you need, day or night, my door is always open, and thanks to my new passkey, so is yours.
Reggie: Jake, do you realize what this means?
Jake: Yeah, Bob has someplace else to go.
TV Show: Becker
[Becker's patient is Richard Hatch, winner of Survivor: Borneo]
Dr. John Becker: [checking his clipboard] Okay, uh, Mr. Hatch. I'm Dr. Becker.
[he and Richard shake hands]
Richard Hatch: Hey, Doc. Want me to take my clothes off? 'Cause that's no problem.
Dr. John Becker: Uh, why don't we just talk first.
Richard Hatch: Okay.
Dr. John Becker: [checking his clipboard] All right. It says you're here for... stomach distress. Any, uh, recent changes in your diet?
Richard Hatch: No, but, uh, several months ago, I was out of the country.
Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah, I've seen that before. Mexico?
Richard Hatch: No, I was on this island. My diet was very exotic. I pretty much existed on stingray, dog food, beetle larvae...
Dr. John Becker: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. What the hell's wrong with you?
Richard Hatch: Hey, some of the other people there ate rats.
Dr. John Becker: Rats? Well, why in the world would anyone do that?
Richard Hatch: It was for "Survivor."
Dr. John Becker: "Survivor?"
Richard Hatch: You know, the contest? The show? It was on television.
Dr. John Becker: Television? Oh, my God! You know, what is this world coming to? People are eating bugs and rats on a stupid television show? I swear to God! You know, TV has become nothing more than the... the Petri dish where this country grows its idiots! Don't they have better things to do than to debase themselves coast to coast?
Richard Hatch: Well, I won.
Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah, won. Yeah, please. I mean, what could you possibly have won that would make up for your loss of self-respect?
Richard Hatch: A million dollars?
Dr. John Becker: Now, h-h-how could I get involved with somethin
Dr. John Becker: [checking his clipboard] Okay, uh, Mr. Hatch. I'm Dr. Becker.
[he and Richard shake hands]
Richard Hatch: Hey, Doc. Want me to take my clothes off? 'Cause that's no problem.
Dr. John Becker: Uh, why don't we just talk first.
Richard Hatch: Okay.
Dr. John Becker: [checking his clipboard] All right. It says you're here for... stomach distress. Any, uh, recent changes in your diet?
Richard Hatch: No, but, uh, several months ago, I was out of the country.
Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah, I've seen that before. Mexico?
Richard Hatch: No, I was on this island. My diet was very exotic. I pretty much existed on stingray, dog food, beetle larvae...
Dr. John Becker: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. What the hell's wrong with you?
Richard Hatch: Hey, some of the other people there ate rats.
Dr. John Becker: Rats? Well, why in the world would anyone do that?
Richard Hatch: It was for "Survivor."
Dr. John Becker: "Survivor?"
Richard Hatch: You know, the contest? The show? It was on television.
Dr. John Becker: Television? Oh, my God! You know, what is this world coming to? People are eating bugs and rats on a stupid television show? I swear to God! You know, TV has become nothing more than the... the Petri dish where this country grows its idiots! Don't they have better things to do than to debase themselves coast to coast?
Richard Hatch: Well, I won.
Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah, won. Yeah, please. I mean, what could you possibly have won that would make up for your loss of self-respect?
Richard Hatch: A million dollars?
Dr. John Becker: Now, h-h-how could I get involved with somethin
TV Show: Becker
Bob: (about Linda's clothes) Wow, is that a handkerchief? Because Bob feels a sneeze coming on.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: I woke up to the fact that as a healthcare professional, its insane for me to go on smoking.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: They raise the price of cigarettes again?
Dr. John Becker: Yeah. $4.50 a pack!
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: They raise the price of cigarettes again?
Dr. John Becker: Yeah. $4.50 a pack!
TV Show: Becker
Jake: Don't try sneaking a smoke, cause I already talked to Margaret and Linda. I have eyes everywhere.
Becker: You don't have eyes anywhere.
Becker: You don't have eyes anywhere.
TV Show: Becker
[Becker is buried up to his neck in fake snow]
Kid: Are you Mr. Angry Head?
Dr. John Becker: That's Doctor Angry Head.
Kid: Are you Mr. Angry Head?
Dr. John Becker: That's Doctor Angry Head.
TV Show: Becker
[Bob is furious about not getting any appreciation for being the apartment building's superintendent]
Bob: I'm telling you, if I don't get a tip from one of those lousy tenants soon, I'm shutting off their heat!
Jake: That oughta make you real popular!
Bob: Yeah? Screw 'em! I can't guarantee a white Christmas, but for some of those old farts, it's gonna be a blue one!
Bob: I'm telling you, if I don't get a tip from one of those lousy tenants soon, I'm shutting off their heat!
Jake: That oughta make you real popular!
Bob: Yeah? Screw 'em! I can't guarantee a white Christmas, but for some of those old farts, it's gonna be a blue one!
TV Show: Becker
[After Reggie reveals her plan to have lunch with Sarah's husband]
Jake Malinak: Reg, you know that after eating, you'll want to stretch your legs, which leads to taking a walk, which leads to your apartment, which leads to sex!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Fine, maybe I'll just meet him for dessert.
Jake Malinak: Bad idea; you'll eat too much, which leads to feeling fat, which leads to changing clothes, which leads to sex!
Reggie "Reggie" Kostas: Coffee?
Jake Malinak: Coffee! Coffee breath, mints, drug store, aisle 12, sex!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Can we meet for water?
Jake Malinak: WATER!? Why don't you just do it in the street!?
Jake Malinak: Reg, you know that after eating, you'll want to stretch your legs, which leads to taking a walk, which leads to your apartment, which leads to sex!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Fine, maybe I'll just meet him for dessert.
Jake Malinak: Bad idea; you'll eat too much, which leads to feeling fat, which leads to changing clothes, which leads to sex!
Reggie "Reggie" Kostas: Coffee?
Jake Malinak: Coffee! Coffee breath, mints, drug store, aisle 12, sex!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Can we meet for water?
Jake Malinak: WATER!? Why don't you just do it in the street!?
TV Show: Becker
Linda: Someday you'll look back on this and laugh.
Dr. John Becker: Maybe I will. But before then, I will kill you. And then I'll use my powers as a physician to bring you back to life. And then, I will kill you again.
Dr. John Becker: Maybe I will. But before then, I will kill you. And then I'll use my powers as a physician to bring you back to life. And then, I will kill you again.
TV Show: Becker
Megan: John, guess what? I left my husband. After all this time, we can finally be together!
Becker: I hate this dream! [slams the door in her face]
Becker: I hate this dream! [slams the door in her face]
TV Show: Becker
Bob: Becker having sex? Nah, I don't see it [slyly] but if I get that new drill, I will!
TV Show: Becker
[After learning he has been taped for Reggie's psychology class]
Dr John Becker: You know what kind of person tapes another person!? NIXON!
Dr John Becker: You know what kind of person tapes another person!? NIXON!
TV Show: Becker
[Anita walks out of Becker's bathroom]
Bob: Wait a minute, you're with him!? If your self-esteem is that low, maybe you and I should talk!
Bob: Wait a minute, you're with him!? If your self-esteem is that low, maybe you and I should talk!
TV Show: Becker
Becker: I watched the moon land on that TV, the 1969 Mets winning the World Series, Nixon's resignation...lots of good times.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: He took special interest in one student. Can you guess who that young man was?
Linda: Who?
Dr. John Becker: Linda, don't be such an idiot. It's me.
Linda: Oh, when you said young it threw me off.
Linda: Who?
Dr. John Becker: Linda, don't be such an idiot. It's me.
Linda: Oh, when you said young it threw me off.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: ...everybody at Harvard used to stand in line for days to get into one of his classes
Bob: Who said Harvard students don't know how to party?
Bob: Who said Harvard students don't know how to party?
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: I can't believe you don't remember me!
Prof. Fowler: I tell you one thing... you're becoming impossible to forget!
Prof. Fowler: I tell you one thing... you're becoming impossible to forget!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: What's new, Linda?
Linda: A bunch of patients, but that's not important. Oh, yeah, there is a lawyer in your office, but that's not important. Wait 'til you see Margaret, she is wearing the most hideous thing.
Dr. John Becker: The flower dress?
Linda: No, worse.
Dr. John Becker: The pants with the gold circles?
Linda: No, worse. It looks like someone ate a box of crayons and threw up a sweater. Whatever you do, don't laugh.
Dr. John Becker: Linda, Margaret and I are coworkers, I know how to keep a straight face.
[walks in the back as Margaret walks by and laughs at her 'swest']
Linda: A bunch of patients, but that's not important. Oh, yeah, there is a lawyer in your office, but that's not important. Wait 'til you see Margaret, she is wearing the most hideous thing.
Dr. John Becker: The flower dress?
Linda: No, worse.
Dr. John Becker: The pants with the gold circles?
Linda: No, worse. It looks like someone ate a box of crayons and threw up a sweater. Whatever you do, don't laugh.
Dr. John Becker: Linda, Margaret and I are coworkers, I know how to keep a straight face.
[walks in the back as Margaret walks by and laughs at her 'swest']
TV Show: Becker