Becker Quotes
Judge Reinhold: Dr. Becker, I don't want to hear your voice again. Counselor, call your next witness.
Ruth: [pointing to Becker] It's him.
Ruth: [pointing to Becker] It's him.
TV Show: Becker
Melvin: And when you say Dr. Becker, who are you referring too?
Vinny Deluca: [points to Becker] That man there.
[courtroom gasps]
Dr. John Becker: Oh, come on, who didn't know that already?
Vinny Deluca: [points to Becker] That man there.
[courtroom gasps]
Dr. John Becker: Oh, come on, who didn't know that already?
TV Show: Becker
[Melvin, Vinny's Lawyer asked Margaret a question after she had sworn the truth on the bible]
Margaret: Was that a real bible?
[talking to Becker]
Margaret: I'm sorry, John, I have to tell the truth.
Dr. John Becker: [pointing to the jury] You know they can hear you?
Margaret: Was that a real bible?
[talking to Becker]
Margaret: I'm sorry, John, I have to tell the truth.
Dr. John Becker: [pointing to the jury] You know they can hear you?
TV Show: Becker
Melvin Goaler: So you would consider yourself to be a good friend of his?
Anita: I would say so, yes.
Goaler: Uh, one more question, Miss Gilbert: is it true you're a prostitute?
Anita: I don't see what that has to do with this case.
Goaler: What's the matter? You're ashamed to admit you're a prostitute?
Anita: No more ashamed than you should be to admit you're a lawyer!
Goaler: [somewhat chastened] No further questions.
Anita: I would say so, yes.
Goaler: Uh, one more question, Miss Gilbert: is it true you're a prostitute?
Anita: I don't see what that has to do with this case.
Goaler: What's the matter? You're ashamed to admit you're a prostitute?
Anita: No more ashamed than you should be to admit you're a lawyer!
Goaler: [somewhat chastened] No further questions.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: [after standing up from witness chair in courtroom] Whether or not I'm a nice guy is not on trial here! Whether or not I'm a good doctor is, and if this court can't tell the difference, then to hell with this court!
Judge Reinhold: Doctor Becker, you are out of order!
Dr. John Becker: [turning to judge] No! You know something: You're out of order! This whole system is out of order!
Judge Reinhold: [bangs gavel] OK, Pacino! That's it! You have no idea how much I hate that damn movie!
Judge Reinhold: Doctor Becker, you are out of order!
Dr. John Becker: [turning to judge] No! You know something: You're out of order! This whole system is out of order!
Judge Reinhold: [bangs gavel] OK, Pacino! That's it! You have no idea how much I hate that damn movie!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: You're not gonna believe this. Six o'clock in the morning, somebody knocks on my door.
Linda: That's incredible!
Dr. John Becker: There's more, Linda.
Linda: Oh, good, because that part was really boring.
Dr. John Becker: Anyway, I open the door. There's a guy asking to borrow some underwear.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Now, Linda.
Linda: That's incredible!
Linda: That's incredible!
Dr. John Becker: There's more, Linda.
Linda: Oh, good, because that part was really boring.
Dr. John Becker: Anyway, I open the door. There's a guy asking to borrow some underwear.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Now, Linda.
Linda: That's incredible!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: On my way to work, some guy in a full New York Jets uniform stops me, tells me it's fourth and long, asks me if I know what the play is. I told him, "Run to the river and go deep."
TV Show: Becker
Linda: It's like I always say. Well, I don't always say it, but I have said it, so I guess technically that I sometimes say it. Which means I say it pretty often. Which brings up an interesting point: is it "off-in" or "off-ten?"
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Linda, the point. What's your point?
Linda: That Mercury's in retrograde. That always makes people act very strangely.
Dr. John Becker: (scoffs) Astrology. What a load of crap.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: You don't think people's lives are affected by the stars?
Bob: Wait, are we talking about planets or celebrities 'cause clearly, when Brad Pitt is in town, traffic is tied up around for hours.
Linda: I love Brad Pitt.
Bob: Me too. But in a totally non-gay way.
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, I gotta admit, I kinda envy Brad Pitt because he's not involved in this conversation.
Linda: That Mercury's in retrograde. That always makes people act very strangely.
Dr. John Becker: (scoffs) Astrology. What a load of crap.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: You don't think people's lives are affected by the stars?
Bob: Wait, are we talking about planets or celebrities 'cause clearly, when Brad Pitt is in town, traffic is tied up around for hours.
Linda: I love Brad Pitt.
Bob: Me too. But in a totally non-gay way.
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, I gotta admit, I kinda envy Brad Pitt because he's not involved in this conversation.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: (reading a personal ad) "Get out of here, get to work, or I will fire you."
TV Show: Becker
Linda: I'm telling you, Dr. Becker. That woman was definitely checking you out.
Dr. John Becker: No, she wasn't.
Linda: Deny it all you want, but I'm telling you she was looking.
Dr. John Becker: Really?
Linda: Oh, yeah.
Dr. John Becker: Huh.
Linda: She had to be about 80, but she was definitely interested.
Dr. John Becker: Oh. Yeah. That one.
Dr. John Becker: No, she wasn't.
Linda: Deny it all you want, but I'm telling you she was looking.
Dr. John Becker: Really?
Linda: Oh, yeah.
Dr. John Becker: Huh.
Linda: She had to be about 80, but she was definitely interested.
Dr. John Becker: Oh. Yeah. That one.
TV Show: Becker
Margaret: There's something crawling around inside the walls!
Linda: Oh, you know what? I'll bet it's a rat.
Margaret: I know it's a rat. I'm trying to find it so I can kill it!
Dr. John Becker: What's the big deal? He's probably just another rat here to make it on the great rat way.
Linda: It's such a difficult life for them. So much disappointment.
Dr. John Becker: (reading a lab report) Oh, my god.
Linda: No, no. Some make it.
Linda: Oh, you know what? I'll bet it's a rat.
Margaret: I know it's a rat. I'm trying to find it so I can kill it!
Dr. John Becker: What's the big deal? He's probably just another rat here to make it on the great rat way.
Linda: It's such a difficult life for them. So much disappointment.
Dr. John Becker: (reading a lab report) Oh, my god.
Linda: No, no. Some make it.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: This is incredible. It's from the lab. They made a mistake on Mr. Garland's test results. He's fine.
Margaret: (reads the report) Oh, my god, John. You told the man he was dying!
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, well he's not. I gotta get him on the phone here. I can't believe the lab screwed up like that.
Linda: Yeah, well he's not the only one that's happened to. I sent the film for my vacation to the lab and they totally lost it.
Dr. John Becker: Different lab, Linda!
Linda: All's I'm saying the guy's got the rest of his life to look forward to. I spent a week in Bermuda and have no idea what I did.
Margaret: (reads the report) Oh, my god, John. You told the man he was dying!
Dr. John Becker: Yeah, well he's not. I gotta get him on the phone here. I can't believe the lab screwed up like that.
Linda: Yeah, well he's not the only one that's happened to. I sent the film for my vacation to the lab and they totally lost it.
Dr. John Becker: Different lab, Linda!
Linda: All's I'm saying the guy's got the rest of his life to look forward to. I spent a week in Bermuda and have no idea what I did.
TV Show: Becker
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Hey, Jake. Where have you been?
Jake Malinak: My nana sent me package and it took me an hour to pick it up at the post office. Turns out forty-five minutes of that was me waiting in line for the ladies room.
Jake Malinak: My nana sent me package and it took me an hour to pick it up at the post office. Turns out forty-five minutes of that was me waiting in line for the ladies room.
TV Show: Becker
Bob: Giving a blind man a Scrabble set it cruel. It would be like buying you a fish tank. It's a total waste.
Jake Malinak: I have a fish tank and I'll tell you why: I find the sounds of the bubbles to be very relaxing.
Bob: Look, Jake--
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Bob.
Bob: No, I'm telling him: You do NOT have a fish tank. What you have is a toilet that needs to be jiggled!
Jake Malinak: Reggie?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Once you started naming the fish, we just didn't have the heart to tell you.
Jake Malinak: I have a fish tank and I'll tell you why: I find the sounds of the bubbles to be very relaxing.
Bob: Look, Jake--
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Bob.
Bob: No, I'm telling him: You do NOT have a fish tank. What you have is a toilet that needs to be jiggled!
Jake Malinak: Reggie?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Once you started naming the fish, we just didn't have the heart to tell you.
TV Show: Becker
Bob: (reading the Scrabble box) "Special Edition: Can be enjoyed by the blind and sighted alike." Okay. Bob stands corrected. Let's play, Jake.
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: So, a blind man playing Scrabble is wrong, but you beating a blind man at Scrabble, you have no problem with.
Bob: Exactly.
Jake Malinak: It's okay, Reg. Let the little weasel put his money where his mouth is.
Bob: Oh, yeah? Fifty bucks!
Jake Malinak: I'm in!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: So, a blind man playing Scrabble is wrong, but you beating a blind man at Scrabble, you have no problem with.
Bob: Exactly.
Jake Malinak: It's okay, Reg. Let the little weasel put his money where his mouth is.
Bob: Oh, yeah? Fifty bucks!
Jake Malinak: I'm in!
TV Show: Becker
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Wow, look at this! Each tile's marked in braille.
Bob: Wait a minute. He can tell what they are? I'm out.
Jake Malinak: Damn, I was looking forward to it. I haven't played since I was a little kid.
Bob: Really? Well, why be a bad sport? I'm back in.
Bob: Wait a minute. He can tell what they are? I'm out.
Jake Malinak: Damn, I was looking forward to it. I haven't played since I was a little kid.
Bob: Really? Well, why be a bad sport? I'm back in.
TV Show: Becker
Linda: (about a patient's odd behavior; in sing-song tone) Mercury. Retrograde.
Dr. John Becker: It has nothing to do with that.
Linda: (sing-song) Suits yourself. There are two new patients waiting in your office.
Dr. John Becker: (sing-song) Stop that.
Linda: (sing-song) I can't.
Dr. John Becker: It has nothing to do with that.
Linda: (sing-song) Suits yourself. There are two new patients waiting in your office.
Dr. John Becker: (sing-song) Stop that.
Linda: (sing-song) I can't.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: (to two patients who tried to get drugs) Instead of getting high on drugs, why don't try getting high on life?! Oh, my god. I am officially a hundred years old.
TV Show: Becker
Margaret: (on the phone) Can you come here right away?
Dr. John Becker: Who are you talking to?
Margaret: (on phone) No, I don't care how much it costs.
Dr. John Becker: Now I don't care who you're talking to. (hangs up)
Margaret: John, that was the exterminator! I want that thing out of here!
Dr. John Becker: Margaret, it's just a rat! Why do you hate it so much, anyway?
Margaret: Because, when I was a child, my father bought me a little dog--
Dr. John Becker: Oh, please, please. Is this going to be that urban legend story where the dog turns out to be a rat?
Margaret: No. This is my sixth birthday party where my dog was EATEN by a rat!
Dr. John Becker: ... Beats pin the tail on the donkey, I guess...
Dr. John Becker: Who are you talking to?
Margaret: (on phone) No, I don't care how much it costs.
Dr. John Becker: Now I don't care who you're talking to. (hangs up)
Margaret: John, that was the exterminator! I want that thing out of here!
Dr. John Becker: Margaret, it's just a rat! Why do you hate it so much, anyway?
Margaret: Because, when I was a child, my father bought me a little dog--
Dr. John Becker: Oh, please, please. Is this going to be that urban legend story where the dog turns out to be a rat?
Margaret: No. This is my sixth birthday party where my dog was EATEN by a rat!
Dr. John Becker: ... Beats pin the tail on the donkey, I guess...
TV Show: Becker
Mr. Garland: I can't believe it.
Dr. John Becker: I know, it's a horrible mistake. I can only imagine what you've been through, you know, but the good news is you're fine.
Mr. Garland: The hell I am! I've been living the last two weeks like I only got two weeks left to live! If I'm not dying, I'm a dead man!
Dr. John Becker: I know, it's a horrible mistake. I can only imagine what you've been through, you know, but the good news is you're fine.
Mr. Garland: The hell I am! I've been living the last two weeks like I only got two weeks left to live! If I'm not dying, I'm a dead man!
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Mr. Garland, I understand--
Mr. Garland: No, you don't understand. When I left your office that day, I was devastated. But then I figured if I've only got a short time to live, well, I'm going to go out in style. The first thing I did was quit my job, told my boss to go straight to hell. What'd I have to lose? You told me I was dying.
Dr. John Becker: I-I understand, but that's still just a job, you know? So you burned a bridge.
Mr. Garland: No. I burned his new BMW.
Dr. John Becker: Why would you do that?
Mr. Garland: Because you told me I was dying!
Dr. John Becker: Couldn't you pay him back?
Mr. Garland: No, I can't. I spent all my money on champagne, limos and lap dances.
Dr. John Becker: All of it?
Mr. Garland: I got a lot of lap dances.
Dr. John Becker: So, you spent all your money, and you lost your job, but all those things are fixable.
Mr. Garland: No. I haven't finished yet. After that, I maxed out my credit cards, cursed out my wife, and sent a photo copy of my ass to the IRS.
Mr. Garland: No, you don't understand. When I left your office that day, I was devastated. But then I figured if I've only got a short time to live, well, I'm going to go out in style. The first thing I did was quit my job, told my boss to go straight to hell. What'd I have to lose? You told me I was dying.
Dr. John Becker: I-I understand, but that's still just a job, you know? So you burned a bridge.
Mr. Garland: No. I burned his new BMW.
Dr. John Becker: Why would you do that?
Mr. Garland: Because you told me I was dying!
Dr. John Becker: Couldn't you pay him back?
Mr. Garland: No, I can't. I spent all my money on champagne, limos and lap dances.
Dr. John Becker: All of it?
Mr. Garland: I got a lot of lap dances.
Dr. John Becker: So, you spent all your money, and you lost your job, but all those things are fixable.
Mr. Garland: No. I haven't finished yet. After that, I maxed out my credit cards, cursed out my wife, and sent a photo copy of my ass to the IRS.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Look, I'll try to help you. I'll call the lab. They made a mistake once--
Mr. Garland: There's a chance I might not make it?!
Dr. John Becker: I promise I will exhaust ever possibility, but I'm only human, you know? In the end, you may have to come to grip with the fact that... you're gonna live.
Mr. Garland: (sulks out the door)
Mr. Garland: There's a chance I might not make it?!
Dr. John Becker: I promise I will exhaust ever possibility, but I'm only human, you know? In the end, you may have to come to grip with the fact that... you're gonna live.
Mr. Garland: (sulks out the door)
TV Show: Becker
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: There. Cat. I'm using the C at the end of your word, Jake.
Jake Malinak: Which one?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Xebec.
Bob: I still say that's not a word.
Jake Malinak: Bob, I told you. It's a antiquated tri-masted Mediterranean sailing vessel.
Bob: NONE OF THOSE ARE WORDS!
Jake Malinak: Which one?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Xebec.
Bob: I still say that's not a word.
Jake Malinak: Bob, I told you. It's a antiquated tri-masted Mediterranean sailing vessel.
Bob: NONE OF THOSE ARE WORDS!
TV Show: Becker
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: All right, smartass. It's your turn.
Bob: Read 'em and weep. J-U-G-G-S. Juggs!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Not a word.
Bob: Yes, it is! Jake's news stand! Magazines, top shelf!
Jake Malinak: Forget about it, Bob. It's a proper noun. Besides, we already let you have melons, boobs, and Hooters.
Bob: Read 'em and weep. J-U-G-G-S. Juggs!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Not a word.
Bob: Yes, it is! Jake's news stand! Magazines, top shelf!
Jake Malinak: Forget about it, Bob. It's a proper noun. Besides, we already let you have melons, boobs, and Hooters.
TV Show: Becker
(A man starts screaming in the bathroom)
Dr. John Becker: What the hell's that?
Margaret: Mr. Pearson.
Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah. Right.
Dr. John Becker: What the hell's that?
Margaret: Mr. Pearson.
Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah. Right.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to think that Linda was right about all that astrology crap.
Margaret: Oh, that's nonsense. Strange things don't happen to you because of the planets or numerology or any of that junk. If your faith in the Lord was as strong as mine, you'd know that. You lead a good life, you'd go to Heaven. If you don't, you suffer the consequences.
Devilish-Looking Man: Excuse me.
Margaret: (takes one look at him) Oh, sweet Jesus. Um, are you a new patient?
Devilish-Looking Man: Yes, I am.
Margaret: And your name is...?
Devilish-Looking Man: I'm known by many names... Jim, James, Jimbo.
Margaret: (to Becker) You take him, I'll get the rat.
Margaret: Oh, that's nonsense. Strange things don't happen to you because of the planets or numerology or any of that junk. If your faith in the Lord was as strong as mine, you'd know that. You lead a good life, you'd go to Heaven. If you don't, you suffer the consequences.
Devilish-Looking Man: Excuse me.
Margaret: (takes one look at him) Oh, sweet Jesus. Um, are you a new patient?
Devilish-Looking Man: Yes, I am.
Margaret: And your name is...?
Devilish-Looking Man: I'm known by many names... Jim, James, Jimbo.
Margaret: (to Becker) You take him, I'll get the rat.
TV Show: Becker
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: That's right, Bob. Jake's pretended to be blind all these years so he beat you at Scrabble.
Bob: It's possible.
Bob: It's possible.
TV Show: Becker
Dr. John Becker: Scrabble with Jake?
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: What, you think we're taking advantage of him?
Dr. John Becker: No, I think he's taking advantage of you. He played in the National Championships like, three different times.
Bob: Excuse me?!
Jake Malinak: Well, I only won once.
Bob: Jake, you hustled us!
Dr. John Becker: Well, now technically, it's not hustling unless you were dumb enough to play for money.
Bob: I thought it was a sure thing! He's blind! I mean, the man's been throwing fish food in his toilet for the last five years!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: What, you think we're taking advantage of him?
Dr. John Becker: No, I think he's taking advantage of you. He played in the National Championships like, three different times.
Bob: Excuse me?!
Jake Malinak: Well, I only won once.
Bob: Jake, you hustled us!
Dr. John Becker: Well, now technically, it's not hustling unless you were dumb enough to play for money.
Bob: I thought it was a sure thing! He's blind! I mean, the man's been throwing fish food in his toilet for the last five years!
TV Show: Becker