Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One for the Road Quotes
Bill Engvall: For about two weeks after that, my wife and I would be sitting at the breakfast table and there would be two or three coyotes sitting watching the back yard. And you'd know the conversation went something like this: Naw, hell no, don't go in there, that little dog's a setup. [pause]
Bill Engvall: I ain't lyin', ask Joe what happened to him!
Bill Engvall: I ain't lyin', ask Joe what happened to him!
TV Show: Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One for the Road
Bill Engvall: There was a ship out in the ocean, and the guy up in the crow's nest says, Enemy ship ahead! The captain says, Bring me my red shirt. And the servant says, Uh... okay. So he gets the captains red shirt, and the captain puts it on. And as the battle proceeded, they didn't loose one sailor. At the end of the battle, the servant comes up and says, Before the battle, you said to bring you your red shirt. Wh- Why your RED shirt? And the captain says, Because, if I happen to be shot, and started bleeding, the sailors wouldn't see the blood and would continue to fight on! The sailor said, Oh! That's brilliant, right there! The next morning, the guy in the crow's nest yells, 20 enemy ships ahead! The captain then said, Bring me my brown pants!
TV Show: Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One for the Road
Bill Engvall: So I go to this spa, and it was weird. They had pillows all over the floor, Zamfir music playing, water flowing over rocks, supposed to relax you. Made me have to go pee!
TV Show: Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One for the Road
Ron White: My wife and I have a tour bus on which we have 3 dogs, 2 of which are Scottish terriers, because if you drink enough Johnnie Walker products, eventually they just send you the dogs. Our Scottish terriers' names are Birdie and Bogey, and someone said, That's cute. You named your dogs after your golf game. I said, If I named my dogs after my golf game, they'd be named Double Bogey and Where The Hell Is That Ball Going. Which is kind of a long name for a pet.
TV Show: Blue Collar Comedy Tour - One for the Road