Blue Heelers Quotes

Jonesy: This is Senior Detective PJ Hasham.
Alex: I thought you said the detective was an old guy.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Jonesy (to Susie): We'll just have to wait until someone comes to find us.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
[Scene cuts to the station.]
Mark: Have you seen my pen, Joss?
Joss: Well, what's it look like?
Mark: It's an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. It was a bloody Father's Day present!

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Mark: Where is my pen, Evan?!

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Mark: Mt. Thomas to the unit calling. Would you please keep the airwaves clear for less melodic communication?

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Amy: I've seen people like her before...the walking wounded. Damaged people thinking they're just like everyone else and then something snaps.

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Amy: In Xanadu did Kubla Kahn, a stately pleasure-dome decree.
PJ: What?
Amy: Nothing.

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Kelly: If you ever make a bet like that again, I will do some soccer practice of my own...with your balls.

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Jonesy: You bastard.
Alex: What?
Jonesy: Where is it?
Alex: Where's what?
Jonesy: Where is it?
Alex: Mate, take it easy, mate.
Jonesy: Hand it over!
Alex: Okay, okay, just let me go.
Mark: What is going on, you two?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
[Jonesy lets Alex go and he gives Jonesy his missing promotion.]
Mark: That was a very low act.
Alex: Yeah, but it was bloody funny.
Jonesy: Right, now you die.
Alex: Hey, it was a joke! Where's your sense of humour?
Mark: Hey, you two!

TV Show: Blue Heelers
[Jonesy and Alex begin to wrestle.]
Mark: Now look here!
Tom: What the hell is going on?
Alex: Jonesy and I are just reliving our childhood, Boss.
Tom: Well, find a playground to do it. Because believe it or not, this is a police station.

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Amy: Wow, I must be a better actor than I thought.

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Joss: She looks like a dog!
Kelly: Joss!
Joss: What? Look at her. She does.
Mark: We don't need the canine comparisons, everybody has their own attributes.

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Amy: Say it isn't true.

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Garth: I hate all that hippy touchy feely shit.

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Susie: Watch out, Jonesy, you're turning into a snag.
Jonesy: No I'm not. I'm just doing my job.
Susie: In a snaggy kind of way.

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Deaf man: That's all right, it's what I'd expect from an arsehole like you.

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Amy (of Garth): An extended fling would be more accurate terminology.

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[Deaf man has just been using sign language.]
Jonesy: He just called me a dickhead, didn't he?

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Jonesy (of Alex): His sister's deaf. He could sign before he could talk.

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Amy (of Garth): He just made me feel dirty and worthless all over again.

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Amy (to Garth): You were the one person who could have understood me and you just drove me away!

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Amy (of Garth): Well, he's been alternating between the same two boring shirts since he got here.

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Tom: The homicide crew can hardly do any worse than you lot.

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Joss: Chocolates are a girl thing. We like beer and stuff.

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Amy: I'm starting to fade, Mark. Just when it's starting to get interesting.

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Kelly: War, Peroni. This means war.

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PJ: We need to keep our blood sugar levels up. Pork, fish, chicken. Major food groups.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Amy (to Garth): You are a liar, a coward, and you can go to hell.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Amy: Chocolate, that's caffeine too, isn't it?
Mark: That's different caffeine. That's chocolate caffeine, that's good for the soul.

TV Show: Blue Heelers