Catch-22 Quotes
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Nately died a wealthy man, Yossarian. He had over sixty shares in the syndicate.
Yossarian: What difference does that make? He's dead.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then his family will get it.
Yossarian: He didn't have time to have a family.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then his parents will get it.
Yossarian: They don't need it, they're rich.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then they'll understand.
Yossarian: What difference does that make? He's dead.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then his family will get it.
Yossarian: He didn't have time to have a family.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then his parents will get it.
Yossarian: They don't need it, they're rich.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then they'll understand.
Movie: Catch-22
Danby: Weather conditions have improved tremendously over the mainland, so you won't have any trouble at all seeing the target. Of course, we mustn't forget, that means that they won't have any trouble at all seeing you.
Movie: Catch-22
Maj. Major Major Major: Sergeant, from now on, I don't want anyone to come in and see me while I'm in my office. Is that clear?
First Sgt. Towser: Yes, sir? What do I say to people who want to come in and see you while you're gone?
Maj. Major Major Major: Tell them I'm in and ask them to wait.
First Sgt. Towser: For how long?
Maj. Major Major Major: Until I've left.
First Sgt. Towser: And then what do I do with them?
Maj. Major Major Major: I don't care.
First Sgt. Towser: May I send people in to see you after you've left?
Maj. Major Major Major: Yes.
First Sgt. Towser: You won't be here then, will you?
Maj. Major Major Major: No.
First Sgt. Towser: I see, sir. Will that be all?
Maj. Major Major Major: Also, Sergeant, I don't want you coming in while I'm in my office asking me if there's anything you can do for me. Is that clear?
First Sgt. Towser: Yes, sir. When should I come in your office and ask if there's anything I can do for you?
Maj. Major Major Major: When I'm not there.
First Sgt. Towser: What do I do then?
Maj. Major Major Major: Whatever has to be done.
First Sgt. Towser: Yes, sir.
First Sgt. Towser: Yes, sir? What do I say to people who want to come in and see you while you're gone?
Maj. Major Major Major: Tell them I'm in and ask them to wait.
First Sgt. Towser: For how long?
Maj. Major Major Major: Until I've left.
First Sgt. Towser: And then what do I do with them?
Maj. Major Major Major: I don't care.
First Sgt. Towser: May I send people in to see you after you've left?
Maj. Major Major Major: Yes.
First Sgt. Towser: You won't be here then, will you?
Maj. Major Major Major: No.
First Sgt. Towser: I see, sir. Will that be all?
Maj. Major Major Major: Also, Sergeant, I don't want you coming in while I'm in my office asking me if there's anything you can do for me. Is that clear?
First Sgt. Towser: Yes, sir. When should I come in your office and ask if there's anything I can do for you?
Maj. Major Major Major: When I'm not there.
First Sgt. Towser: What do I do then?
Maj. Major Major Major: Whatever has to be done.
First Sgt. Towser: Yes, sir.
Movie: Catch-22
[last lines] [Yossarian leaps out of the hospital window, fleeing the base. Danby and Tappman watch from the window]
Danby: Yossarian!
Yossarian: I can do it, Danby!
Tappman: They'll catch you, they'll bring you back!
Yossarian: I can do it!
Danby: This is insane!
Yossarian: I can do it!
Tappman: What about your clothes?
Yossarian: They'll never recognize me without my uniform!
Danby: You'll be on the run with no friends! You'll live in constant danger of betrayal!
Yossarian: [laughs] I live that way now.
Danby: Yossarian, for God's sake, hurry up!
Yossarian: So long, Chaplain!
Tappman: How do you feel, Yossarian?
Yossarian: Fine... because I'm scared to death.
Danby: You'll have to keep on your toes every minute.
Yossarian: I'll keep on my toes.
Tappman: You'll have to jump.
Yossarian: I'll jump.
Tappman: JUMP! [Yossarian jumps over a ditch and runs to the sea while inflating a life raft. He leaps into the sea, paddling furiously, and is gone]
Danby: Yossarian!
Yossarian: I can do it, Danby!
Tappman: They'll catch you, they'll bring you back!
Yossarian: I can do it!
Danby: This is insane!
Yossarian: I can do it!
Tappman: What about your clothes?
Yossarian: They'll never recognize me without my uniform!
Danby: You'll be on the run with no friends! You'll live in constant danger of betrayal!
Yossarian: [laughs] I live that way now.
Danby: Yossarian, for God's sake, hurry up!
Yossarian: So long, Chaplain!
Tappman: How do you feel, Yossarian?
Yossarian: Fine... because I'm scared to death.
Danby: You'll have to keep on your toes every minute.
Yossarian: I'll keep on my toes.
Tappman: You'll have to jump.
Yossarian: I'll jump.
Tappman: JUMP! [Yossarian jumps over a ditch and runs to the sea while inflating a life raft. He leaps into the sea, paddling furiously, and is gone]
Movie: Catch-22