Chelmsford 123 Quotes
Badvoc: Dumping me in a barrel of shit doesn't bother me, you know. I've been to Ipswich on market day.
Movie: Chelmsford 123
Badvoc: So far we've had a woman with no hair, a woman with no teeth, and a woman with hair on her teeth.
Movie: Chelmsford 123
Grasientus: A map of ancient Chelmsford has been stolen from the map room.
Aulus Paulinus: That's very peculiar, Grasientus. We've got a map room?
Grasientus: Bet it's one of Badvoc's man.
Aulus Paulinus: Grasientus, something puzzles me.
Grasientus: Yes. You mean why would he want to steal a map of old Chelmsford?
Aulus Paulinus: No, what you were doing in the map room at three in the morning.
Grasientus: Ah, yes, well... apart from the maps I keep certain literature in there which I browse through often before retiring.
Aulus Paulinus: You mean the ones depicting scenes from pastoral Greece? The ones showing shepherds and shepherdesses doing what shepherds and shepherdesses do when they're not shepherding their sheep?
Grasientus: The very same.
Aulus Paulinus: So what's in this map room?
Grasientus: Well apart from the...
Aulus Paulinus: ...Greek porno.
Grasientus: A few maps.
Aulus Paulinus: How many?
Grasientus: One.
Aulus Paulinus: And it's been stolen.
Grasientus: Yes. Appalling, isn't it?
Aulus Paulinus: Well Grasientus, we are faced with the most serious problem. Namely... what do we now call the map room?
Aulus Paulinus: That's very peculiar, Grasientus. We've got a map room?
Grasientus: Bet it's one of Badvoc's man.
Aulus Paulinus: Grasientus, something puzzles me.
Grasientus: Yes. You mean why would he want to steal a map of old Chelmsford?
Aulus Paulinus: No, what you were doing in the map room at three in the morning.
Grasientus: Ah, yes, well... apart from the maps I keep certain literature in there which I browse through often before retiring.
Aulus Paulinus: You mean the ones depicting scenes from pastoral Greece? The ones showing shepherds and shepherdesses doing what shepherds and shepherdesses do when they're not shepherding their sheep?
Grasientus: The very same.
Aulus Paulinus: So what's in this map room?
Grasientus: Well apart from the...
Aulus Paulinus: ...Greek porno.
Grasientus: A few maps.
Aulus Paulinus: How many?
Grasientus: One.
Aulus Paulinus: And it's been stolen.
Grasientus: Yes. Appalling, isn't it?
Aulus Paulinus: Well Grasientus, we are faced with the most serious problem. Namely... what do we now call the map room?
Movie: Chelmsford 123
Viatorus: As you are all well aware, I have been designing roads now all over the Empire with considerable success, if you'll excuse my modesty. Now this particular road has posed many difficult and challenging but the design I have come up with copes adequately therewith, and takes into consideration economic and topographical feasibilities, and is, and I say this without any own glory, like all great architecture the perfect marriage of the aesthetic and the functional, the sensuous and the pragmatic...
Aulus Paulinus: You've done us a straight line again, haven't you?
Aulus Paulinus: You've done us a straight line again, haven't you?
Movie: Chelmsford 123
Vulcan: Are you going to let me use this thunderbolt or what?
Jupiter: Don't rush, Vulcan. You've got the whole of eternity. In a few thousand years, you will be able to use it for the great benefit of mankind.
Vulcan: Doing what?
Jupiter: Killing people who play golf.
Jupiter: Don't rush, Vulcan. You've got the whole of eternity. In a few thousand years, you will be able to use it for the great benefit of mankind.
Vulcan: Doing what?
Jupiter: Killing people who play golf.
Movie: Chelmsford 123