Clone High Quotes
Abe: Cleo sort of wants to... but I just don't know if I'm ready.
Abe's Foster Dad: Well, foster son, over half of high school students nation-wide have chosen abstinence, which is a good choice. But, they're not dating Cleo-friggin-patra! Have you seen that girl's ass? It's built like the Space Shuttle! Oh, this could be your only chance to drown the slippery otter! To harpoon the salty longshoreman! To verb the adjective noun!... But abstinence is a good choice as well.
Abe's Foster Dad: Well, foster son, over half of high school students nation-wide have chosen abstinence, which is a good choice. But, they're not dating Cleo-friggin-patra! Have you seen that girl's ass? It's built like the Space Shuttle! Oh, this could be your only chance to drown the slippery otter! To harpoon the salty longshoreman! To verb the adjective noun!... But abstinence is a good choice as well.
Movie: Clone High
Announcer: Previously on a very special Clone High: Joan made a pass at Abe. Cleo made a pass at Joan. And Abe scored, but not on the court. If find sports metaphors very useful for making veil sexual references...
Movie: Clone High
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Eleanor Roosevelt has a rather mannish physique] It's time for the Presidential Fitness Test! Where we make you even more insecure about your body by judging you while you perform arbitrary physical tasks!
Abe: Can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt as our gym teacher.
Joan of Arc: Yeah he's great. Hey Abe, tonight I finally have a night off from the help hotline, which is community service, and I wanted to know if you wanted to carpool to JFK's party...
Joan of Arc: [Becoming apparent that Abe isn't listening] You know, to save gas...
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Interrupts and gets in Joan's face] You like talking, Of Arc? Well you can TALK your tight little buns on down to the Principal Scudworth's office!
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Joan leaves, Eleanor Roosevelt watching her] Slowwwwwly. Ohhhhhh yeah.
Abe: Can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt as our gym teacher.
Joan of Arc: Yeah he's great. Hey Abe, tonight I finally have a night off from the help hotline, which is community service, and I wanted to know if you wanted to carpool to JFK's party...
Joan of Arc: [Becoming apparent that Abe isn't listening] You know, to save gas...
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Interrupts and gets in Joan's face] You like talking, Of Arc? Well you can TALK your tight little buns on down to the Principal Scudworth's office!
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Joan leaves, Eleanor Roosevelt watching her] Slowwwwwly. Ohhhhhh yeah.
Movie: Clone High
Mr. Butlertron: What would the real Joan of Arc have done?
Joan of Arc: She would have stood up and told them how she felt. Then she would have been burned at the stake. But what are the chances of that happening again? He, he.
Mr. Butlertron: Thirty-eight percent.
Joan of Arc: She would have stood up and told them how she felt. Then she would have been burned at the stake. But what are the chances of that happening again? He, he.
Mr. Butlertron: Thirty-eight percent.
Movie: Clone High
Tom Green: So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD. That's not cool. Coffee? Anyone for - coffee anyone? All right, sorry. I like cotton candy. Check out my muscle. Potato chips. It's a Ferris wheel. So I guess what I'm trying to say is - plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag.
Movie: Clone High
Campaign Video Narrator: Last year, Abe said he was fifteen. Now he claims to be sixteen. Which is it, Abe? Better keep your stories straight. He'd also like you to believe he's not a baby eater. But he's never gone on record saying he isn't. Maybe he's too busy eating babies.
TV Show: Clone High
Scudworth: So you're product is called—
X-Stream Mike: X-Stream Blue! It's a power snack!
X-Stream Erin: Stick it in your face-hole and slam it!
Scudworth: This is something you eat?
X-Stream Mike: It's really just pancake batter mixed with blue paint in a sports bottle—sick! Tight! Cyber! Awesome!
Scudworth: I see...now for allowing you to test market this product on my students, I am willing to be paid $2,000,000.
X-Stream Mike: Allow me to confer with my associates
['...To the max...I have low self-esteem...]
X-Stream Mike: We accept your offer
Scudworth: Dead presidents, Mr. B!
X-Stream Mike: X-Stream Blue! It's a power snack!
X-Stream Erin: Stick it in your face-hole and slam it!
Scudworth: This is something you eat?
X-Stream Mike: It's really just pancake batter mixed with blue paint in a sports bottle—sick! Tight! Cyber! Awesome!
Scudworth: I see...now for allowing you to test market this product on my students, I am willing to be paid $2,000,000.
X-Stream Mike: Allow me to confer with my associates
['...To the max...I have low self-esteem...]
X-Stream Mike: We accept your offer
Scudworth: Dead presidents, Mr. B!
TV Show: Clone High
Joan: Hasn't anyone here grown at all?
Gandhi: [Stares at her chest]
Joan: [Punches him in the face] You were thinking it.
Gandhi: I know...
Gandhi: [Stares at her chest]
Joan: [Punches him in the face] You were thinking it.
Gandhi: I know...
TV Show: Clone High
Talking Peanut: Hi'o, Guvna's. I'd shake your hands, but, you know, peanut arms.
TV Show: Clone High
JFK: [popping in and out of bathroom to taunt Abe and Ghandi] I will see you there. And by will, I mean won't. HA HA HA! / Because you're not invited. I, er, wasn't sure if I was clear on that earlier. So you're not. Invited that is. / TO MY PARTY!! / Forgot to wash my hands...
TV Show: Clone High
Shadowy Figure: Principal Scudworth, there has been some growing concern among the board of shadowy figures that you might be... completely insane.
Scudworth: Blasphemy!
Scudworth: Blasphemy!
TV Show: Clone High
Mr. Butlertron: More tea, Wesley?
Scudworth: He calls everyone "Wesley". I don't know why...
Scudworth: He calls everyone "Wesley". I don't know why...
TV Show: Clone High
Abe: All I'm saying is, a girl is interested in me, and I'm NOT going to ignore it!
Joan: Abe, I want you...
Abe: Want me to what? Forgot what you were gonna say? Happens to me all the time. Well, I'm off.
Joan: Abe, I want you...
Abe: Want me to what? Forgot what you were gonna say? Happens to me all the time. Well, I'm off.
TV Show: Clone High
JFK, on the Teen Crisis Hotline...: You know that show, "My Two Dads"? It's like that but more gay...
JFK's Dad #1, Wally: Oh, look how nice he looks in those Dockers we bought him...
JFK: Daaaad...
JFK's Dad #2, Carl: What, you're too good to be gay like your old man?!
Wally: Carl, it is not his fault....baby was born that way.
JFK's Dad #1, Wally: Oh, look how nice he looks in those Dockers we bought him...
JFK: Daaaad...
JFK's Dad #2, Carl: What, you're too good to be gay like your old man?!
Wally: Carl, it is not his fault....baby was born that way.
TV Show: Clone High
Van Gogh, on the Teen Crisis Hotline...: Sometimes I just turn the lights off in my room and cry...
Gandhi: I'm sorry, uh, Van Gogh, could you speak up?
Van Gogh: The only way I can cling to my sanity is that nobody knows how lonely I truly am...
Gandhi: [To crowd at party, snickering] He's sad...
Crowd: [Laughs]
Van Gogh: Hey, am I on speakerphone?
Gandhi: Hey, would Gandhi put somebody on speakerphone?
Crowd: NO!
Van Gogh: [Crying] Gandhi, how could you?
Gandhi: Hey man, Gandhi is anti-violence, not anti-comedy. [Hangs up] Woo...feels good to help people.
Gandhi: I'm sorry, uh, Van Gogh, could you speak up?
Van Gogh: The only way I can cling to my sanity is that nobody knows how lonely I truly am...
Gandhi: [To crowd at party, snickering] He's sad...
Crowd: [Laughs]
Van Gogh: Hey, am I on speakerphone?
Gandhi: Hey, would Gandhi put somebody on speakerphone?
Crowd: NO!
Van Gogh: [Crying] Gandhi, how could you?
Gandhi: Hey man, Gandhi is anti-violence, not anti-comedy. [Hangs up] Woo...feels good to help people.
TV Show: Clone High
Mr. Butlertron: Are you sure this is the best way to do research? Won't they be able to tell we're not students?
Scudworth: You underestimate me, my metal friend.
[Scudworth and Butlertron enter JFK's house]
Scudworth: What's up, fellow students? Raise the roof! Raise it!
[Scudworth kicks Mr. Butlertron]
Mr. Butlertron: Where are my bitches?
Scudworth: You underestimate me, my metal friend.
[Scudworth and Butlertron enter JFK's house]
Scudworth: What's up, fellow students? Raise the roof! Raise it!
[Scudworth kicks Mr. Butlertron]
Mr. Butlertron: Where are my bitches?
TV Show: Clone High
Cleo: All students are special at Clone High but only some are ostracized because they are special.
TV Show: Clone High
Cleo: This is probably the last time I'll ever use these scissors, unless a giant needs a haircut.
TV Show: Clone High
Joan: I'm so angry I could kiss you!
Abe: What was that?
Joan: I said I'm so angry I could...piss...glue...
Abe: I've never heard that.
Joan: It's a very common expression.
Abe: What was that?
Joan: I said I'm so angry I could...piss...glue...
Abe: I've never heard that.
Joan: It's a very common expression.
TV Show: Clone High
Scudworth: Your secret army of cloned historical figures is maturing according to schedule.
Shadowy Figure: I'm sorry, Dr. Scudworth, is that a scale model behind you labelled "Dr. Scudworth's Evil Plan?"
Scudworth: Say, where'd you get those fresh Pumas, Bro?
Shadowy Figure: Actually, we're sponsored by Puma. These bad boys are catalogue-only.
Scudworth: If you're implying that I plan to steal the clones away from you and use them in a clone-themed amusement park, then shame on you. By the by, could I have $2,000,000...you know, for dry erase markers and such...they've got some keen new colors like...kiwi...and mango...
Shadowy Figure: For giggles, I'm going to keep saying "no" until you turn the TV off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no—
Shadowy Figure: I'm sorry, Dr. Scudworth, is that a scale model behind you labelled "Dr. Scudworth's Evil Plan?"
Scudworth: Say, where'd you get those fresh Pumas, Bro?
Shadowy Figure: Actually, we're sponsored by Puma. These bad boys are catalogue-only.
Scudworth: If you're implying that I plan to steal the clones away from you and use them in a clone-themed amusement park, then shame on you. By the by, could I have $2,000,000...you know, for dry erase markers and such...they've got some keen new colors like...kiwi...and mango...
Shadowy Figure: For giggles, I'm going to keep saying "no" until you turn the TV off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no—
TV Show: Clone High
Mr. Butlertron: Perhaps you could get Clone High a corporate sponsor; those Pumas were rather freeesh.
Scudworth: Sell out, and turn the school into an ad for some profit-hungy corporation? Why, that idea's as foolish as getting new brakes from anywhere but Midas!
Scudworth: Sell out, and turn the school into an ad for some profit-hungy corporation? Why, that idea's as foolish as getting new brakes from anywhere but Midas!
TV Show: Clone High
Abe Lincoln: Great idea Joan!
Joan of Arc: Raaargh!
[Joan sweeps the table clear with her arm.]
Abe Lincoln: Clumsy, Joan. Reeeeal clumsy.
Joan of Arc: Raaargh!
[Joan sweeps the table clear with her arm.]
Abe Lincoln: Clumsy, Joan. Reeeeal clumsy.
TV Show: Clone High
JFK: Ask not what your student body president can do for you, ask what you can do to your student body president's body.
Joan: There's nothing to worry about, he's just making empty promises and detailing his workout routine.
JFK: And on Friday, I do abs and legs, but not calves. As you recall, I do those, with my lats, on Wednesday!
Joan: There's nothing to worry about, he's just making empty promises and detailing his workout routine.
JFK: And on Friday, I do abs and legs, but not calves. As you recall, I do those, with my lats, on Wednesday!
TV Show: Clone High
Abe: My name is Abe Lincoln, and I'm running for student body presdient.
Some girl: I love you JFK!
Some girl: I love you JFK!
TV Show: Clone High
Gandhi: That looks so good, what's in it?
Tyler: Great question...have a T-shirt.
Gandhi: That totally answers my question!
Tyler: Great question...have a T-shirt.
Gandhi: That totally answers my question!
TV Show: Clone High
Gandhi: What stinks in here, man? Oh yeah, it's your campaign. You died out there. That assembly was like: this, boom, this. You're the boom.
TV Show: Clone High
Gandhi: They want to sponsor your campaign. And all you gotta do is abandon your values and promote their product by doing some dangerous, extreme sports-related stunts.
X-Stream Erin: Just sign this legit-ass contract!
X-Stream Mike: And totally initial article 7!
X-Stream Bob: My son won't even look me in the eye anymore!
X-Stream Erin: Just sign this legit-ass contract!
X-Stream Mike: And totally initial article 7!
X-Stream Bob: My son won't even look me in the eye anymore!
TV Show: Clone High