CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes

Hannah West: You don't think I could have done it. Either one of you.
Sara: That's a big job... for a little girl.
Hannah West: Not if you have the right tools.
Sara: Smart kid like you, knows your brother is suffering, you feel bad, you wanna help... so you fabricate some evidence.
Hannah West: Uh, if you thought the evidence was fake I wouldn't still be in jail.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[During court]
Hannah West: Marlon didn't kill Stacy. I did. [stands up and opens her sweater to reveal a dirty and bloody shirt] I was wearing this when I did.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: [to Hannah West about Stacy's murder] You put sodium in the showerhead to get back at her?
Hannah West: A prank for a prank. I thought that there'd be a few sparks, that she'd freak out and that'd be it, but the nozzle exploded. Stacy ran... and fell down the stairs... and died. I tried to cover it up.
Sara: You miscalculated.
Hannah West: I guess I did.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hannah West: Look, I don't need a lawyer, and I don't need my parents. I just want to do what's right.
Sara: Hannah, taking the blame for something you didn't do may be noble, but it doesn't make it right.
Hannah West: That's deep. Okay. It happened like this: Stacy humiliated me, I wanted revenge.
Sara: Yeah, and you knew that there was no way you were ever going to get it by yourself.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: [to Marlon] You moved the body, you buried it.
Marlon West: I know I did; I was there. What's the problem?
Nick: Well, the problem is what happened in the locker room. I mean, you're not the kind of guy who puts sodium in a showerhead to get back at somebody. You just trip them in the hallway.
Marlon: So you think I'm too stupid to have done it. Great, join the club.
Nick: I don't think you're stupid, Marlon; I didn't say you were stupid. But this is Hannah's game. The whole way.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: Ah, teen lust. It starts with some chemistry, mess around with some biology. (Nick and Sara give each other looks) And once you have some experience under your belt then you introduce the physics. Apparently chivalry is not dead. The bloody fingerprint tested positive for nonoxynol spermicide.
Nick: So much for the boyfriend.
Sara: If we can't pin this on Hannah or Marlon they could both walk.
Hodges: You could flip a coin.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sofia [to Sara about Stacy]: She even took a public virginity pledge with some of her classmates. Did they have those in your high school?
Sara: No.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: Does that make Doogie Howserette our killer?
Nick: Nah, I kinda doubt it.
Hodges: Don't be so sure. It's not easy.
Nick: What isn't easy, Hodges?
Hodges: Being profoundly gifted. Knowing that everybody knows that you're always 10 steps ahead of them. It's a lot of pressure. (Nick gives him a look, and starts walking away) Some days you just feel like you're going to snap.
Nick: I know the feeling.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Wendy: : You know, if you're still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that this isn't your lab, I suggest counseling.
Greg: : I would like you to run these, please?
Wendy: : M'kay.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Archie is about to sit on Grissom's chair]
Hodges: : Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah...
Archie: : What?
Hodges: : What are you doing?
Archie: : Sitting!
Hodges: : No No, you're tempting fate! You know how you should never try on someone else's engagement ring, hold the Oscar, or use the excuse your grandmother died when she didn't?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara [to Nick]: I bet you really liked high school.
Nick: Yeah, playin' football, chasin' girls, books when I wanted to learn somethin', what's not to like?
Warrick: Hey, guys.
Nick: Hey.
Warrick: This is Darcy, my wife Tina's niece.
Sara: Hey, Darcy. (Darcy kinda waves)
Nick: Yeah, you were right she's about Hannah's size.
Warrick: More or less.
Darcy: Stop talkin' about me. (Warrick pulls an earbud out of her ear) Hey, that was the best part!
Warrick: That's what the pause button is for. It's time to work, it's child labor day.
(Sara laughs)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Stacy landed here and bled out from the trauma to her skull.
Nick: Darcy, why don't you put those headphones back on?
Darcy: Like I didn't hear what you just said.
(Warrick smirks)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Darcy: So did I help the dead girl?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara [to Hannah West]: Hey there.
Hannah West: Did you come to say bye?
Sara: No, actually you and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other. If you thought the DA wouldn't prosecute a 12-year-old for murder, you were wrong. He wants justice for Stacy and her family.
Hannah West: Of course, he's a total linear thinker. Most of you guys are.
Mrs. West: Shame on you Miss Sidle. Come on, Hannah West, you don't need to listen to this.
Hannah West: Mom...just give us a second. (her mom walks away) You were saying?
Sara: Here. (she goes and sits on the bench and Hannah stands in front of her) Hannah, with your gifts you could have done anything you could have wanted and you picked murder, you can't take that back.
Hannah West: You're worried how I'm gonna turn out?
Sara: Of course I am. I know it seems like a really long time but...in 5 years, all the Stacy's of the world would have been behind you.
Hannah West: Let me guess? You were a smart kid in school, maybe you feel that we're a little bit alike?
Sara: There aren't many people like you.
Hannah West: That's what my parents always say too. The last four months all they cared about was the effect of the trial on me not Marlon. It's been that way ever since I was 14 months old and was spelling words with plastic letters. It's so unfair and nobody ever sees it. He doesn't deserve to go to jail. If I get convicted, what's the worst case scenario? I mean, I'll be out in five years with an undergraduate degree. There's no Son of Sam law in Nevada. That was ruled unconstitutional, so I'm free to write a book about all of this. (Sara is staring opened mouthed at her, shaking her head) The story will be worth millions. Freaks are always good box office.
Sara (still shocked): You're not a freak.
Hannah West: When was

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: : I need to talk to you.
Greg: : You heard about the strip club?
Grissom: : I hear about everything, Greg.
Greg: : That ear surgery paid off.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Dollar: : I got more enemies than some countries got people.
Brass: : Give us some names.
Dollar: : It's gonna be a long list.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[A gangbanger is threatening Stokes and Brown]
Gangbanger: Damn CSI's, you ain't no cops!
[Stokes jumps out of the truck and levels his gun at him]
Stokes: Right, we're mad scientists, now let me see your hands.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: : Anyone interested in the wedding DVD?
Greg, Nick & Sara: : Yeah.
Catherine: : Courtsey of Frank Rosetti. Owner of Cupid’s Kiss. [(puts the DVD in)] All right, where do you wanna start?
Greg, Nick & Sara: : The toast.
[Catherine puts on the toast, and they watch]
Dianne Chase[On DVD]: Everyone, I wanna thank you for coming. You know, they say love is as strong as death and as mother of the groom his wedding is bitter sweet. You are giving up as much as you are gaining. In some cases you are giving up much more. [loses her speech as she starts to get tipsy] To hell with it, I’ll wing it. My Adam. He studied at oxford, he went to Harvard school of business & of all the intelligent, wonderful, beautiful women he met along the way he ended up with Jill, plain little Jill. There's nothing wrong with her, but what's right with her, haha, even her name is boring. [turns to Adam] You can take a lover, you just don't have to end up marrying her.. I mean, do you really wanna shallow our gene pool like this? [Adam tries to get her to leave] I wanna thank you all so much for coming, oh I love you Adam. [Catherine pauses the DVD after the toast is done]
Catherine: : Justifiable homicide?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(Nick's car arrives in the garage with half naked women painted on it)
Brass [to Nick]: Hey, pimp. How do you like your new ride?
Catherine: Hey look, they fixed it.
Nick (whining): Ooh, Ooh, that's not funny.
Catherine: Oh, it's a little funny.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(After Wendy tells them the DNA results)
Greg: We could compare them to the bucal swabs that we collected...if we still had them.
Sara: Well we just have to recollect them.
Greg: All 200 of them?
Sara: Yeah. And since we can't leave...someone else is...gonna have to recollect them.
Nick: This is crap. I've been waiting on IAB for 14 hours. I'm tired. And I kinda smell. And I don't have a friggen car.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Wendy: : What on God's green earth possessed you to do this?
Hodges: : It's my lucky day.
Wendy: : What?
Hodges: : It's my lucky day...

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Albert... What you did today was incredible. It was like being part of a miracle or something.
Doc Robbins: It felt good helping the living for a change.
Nick: You're a good man.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: You know, it's not how you come into this world that counts, it's how you live it.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Why do we always come here?
Greg: Open 24 hours.
Sara: Everything in Vegas is open 24 hours.
Greg: It's cheap.
Nick (walks in): It smells like bacon in here. (to Sara) Slide over. (he sits down) That scene took forever, we were there like what? 9 hours?
Sara: Eleven.
Greg: A dead lawyer and 200 eyewitnesses, it's gonna take a while.
Nick: Come for a wedding, stay for the funeral. Why do we always eat here?
Greg: It's tradition.
Sara: Ah, tradition. Like becoming property exchanged between your father and your husband.
Nick: No, that's not what a wedding is. It's a public declaration of love.
Greg: I'm with Vince Vaughn on this one. Dozens of horny single women with access to an open bar and coupling on their mind.
Waitress (walking up): Weddings are a Rorschach, everyone sees what they wanna see. My first 5 were good. (walks away)
Greg (looking up and seeing the news): We're not even back to the lab yet and we're already on TV. (Sara and Nick turn to look at the TV) The stones on these guys to take her out at her son's wedding.
Nick (to Sara): Pass the cream, will ya.
Greg (to Nick, looking outside): Dude, where's your car?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: So, you took the perimeters, right?
Nick: Yeah.
Catherine: Well, I caught this guy in the shadows, he looks more like a suspect than a guest. Archie blew it up. (shows Nick the pictures) That face look familiar?
Nick: Yeah, yeah, I caught that guy sleepin' one of in the bushes. It's the groom's old man.
Catherine: Wow, I thought my wedding was bad.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick (walking in): What's up?
Sara (holding up the bride's lingerie): I need your hands.
Nick: I thought you'd never ask.
Sara (smirks): To uh...reprint the bumper because the tape lifts were stolen.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick [to Greg]: Where's the statue?
Greg: In your car.
Nick: Ah.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Frank Rosetti: I'm a 42-year-old paisan, and she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her and tied themselves to the car.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
Frank Rosetti: I don't sell bridal diapers for nothin'.
Greg: He was just kiddin' about the diapers, right?

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(After discovering a bottle of Diazapam among the bride's things)
Greg: Ah oh, looks like we had some bride's little helper going on.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation