CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Catherine: [to Max, while he's stuck in cement]: Are you ready to give me a name? You know, you are in a very deep hole, in every sense of the word my friend. Think about that while we chisel you out. It's going to take a few hours. Assuming we're careful. See you!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Catherine is trying not to laugh at Max, who is stuck waist-deep in cement]
Grissom: Catherine, do you need a moment?
Grissom: Catherine, do you need a moment?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Adam Novak: : Why the hell is your department tailing my client?
Nick: : Concern for his safety?
Adam Novak: : That's cute. Jay Finch was acquitted of his mother's murder; he deserves all the rights of a free man.
Nick: : With all due respect, Mr. Novak, no laws have been broken here.
Adam Novak: : You can't try Finch twice for the same crime.
Nick: : No, but you can for a different crime.
Adam Novak: : Oh, I see this is a personal vendetta by CSI Willows.
Nick: : Personal, to who?
Adam Novak: : Me! She's a man-hater. No suprise, but how long do we have to pay for the sins of her father?
Nick: : Y'know Catherine and I get along just great, maybe it's you.
Nick: : Concern for his safety?
Adam Novak: : That's cute. Jay Finch was acquitted of his mother's murder; he deserves all the rights of a free man.
Nick: : With all due respect, Mr. Novak, no laws have been broken here.
Adam Novak: : You can't try Finch twice for the same crime.
Nick: : No, but you can for a different crime.
Adam Novak: : Oh, I see this is a personal vendetta by CSI Willows.
Nick: : Personal, to who?
Adam Novak: : Me! She's a man-hater. No suprise, but how long do we have to pay for the sins of her father?
Nick: : Y'know Catherine and I get along just great, maybe it's you.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: : Hey, how's it going on your civil case? Did you get a lawyer?
Greg: : LVPD said they'd provide me with an attorney.
Grissom: : Get your own counsel, Greg. That's your right.
Greg: : Well, are you gonna give me raise because otherwise I can't afford that.
Grissom: : Call the PPAC and talk to your union rep. This was an on duty incident, they'll provide you with an attorney.
Greg: : How's the union lawyer gonna be any different?
Grissom: : The department's only interest is the department. They'll throw you under the bus to protect themselves. When's your deposition?
Greg: : Three weeks from tomorrow.
Grissom: : Stick to whatever you put in the report. Don't waver, be consistent. Everything's gonna be fine.
Greg: : LVPD said they'd provide me with an attorney.
Grissom: : Get your own counsel, Greg. That's your right.
Greg: : Well, are you gonna give me raise because otherwise I can't afford that.
Grissom: : Call the PPAC and talk to your union rep. This was an on duty incident, they'll provide you with an attorney.
Greg: : How's the union lawyer gonna be any different?
Grissom: : The department's only interest is the department. They'll throw you under the bus to protect themselves. When's your deposition?
Greg: : Three weeks from tomorrow.
Grissom: : Stick to whatever you put in the report. Don't waver, be consistent. Everything's gonna be fine.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: : I reviewed that Jane Doe autopsy from '75.
Keppler: : That was fast.
Doc Robbins: : Well I'm sure the original examination was too. M.E. was a hack named Sam Bernard. He, uh, retired a little while after I started. Once saw him do a Y with a scalpel in one hand and a hot dog in the other.
Keppler: : Take it he wasn't known for his, uh, rigorous analysis.
Doc Robbins: : He was known for liking hotdogs.
Keppler: : That was fast.
Doc Robbins: : Well I'm sure the original examination was too. M.E. was a hack named Sam Bernard. He, uh, retired a little while after I started. Once saw him do a Y with a scalpel in one hand and a hot dog in the other.
Keppler: : Take it he wasn't known for his, uh, rigorous analysis.
Doc Robbins: : He was known for liking hotdogs.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: : Dr. Dave's smile is perfect.
Keppler: : Would you go to a dentist with bad teeth?
Keppler: : Would you go to a dentist with bad teeth?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Keppler: : In theory, as the killer gets more and more comfortable after each act, the locations of the bodies should spiral outward from one central point.
Warrick: : I'll tell 'ya one thing your dump sites do have in common.
Keppler: : What's that?
Warrick: : When the bodies were found in the location they were at the time had the highest crime rate in the city.
Keppler: : Smart. Your crime center seems to move around here a lot, huh?
Warrick: : Well, in Vegas new is old in 5 years. Old is history in 10, and nothin' ever seems to leave a mark.
Keppler: : Sounds refreshing.
Warrick: : I'll tell 'ya one thing your dump sites do have in common.
Keppler: : What's that?
Warrick: : When the bodies were found in the location they were at the time had the highest crime rate in the city.
Keppler: : Smart. Your crime center seems to move around here a lot, huh?
Warrick: : Well, in Vegas new is old in 5 years. Old is history in 10, and nothin' ever seems to leave a mark.
Keppler: : Sounds refreshing.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: : I grew up in this town, I know all about playing the odds, you are gambling with my team.
Keppler: : We talked about the risks going in, it's not like we can quit now.
Catherine: : I'm not quitting, but I don't like it. And I hate lying to my guys.
Keppler: : We talked about the risks going in, it's not like we can quit now.
Catherine: : I'm not quitting, but I don't like it. And I hate lying to my guys.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Sara finds Keppler in Grissom's office, looking at the miniature models]
Sara: : Hi. What are you doing?
Keppler: : Just looking.
Sara: : What do you think?
Keppler: : Meticulous. Obsessive. Clearly knows his way around a modeling kit.
Sara: : Grissom didn't make those.
Keppler: : No? Hmm. Fits the profile. Bugs in bottles, the Darwin desk set.
Sara: : He's a... bit of a collector of certain things.
Keppler: : Yeah, I knew a guy in Philly like that. Kept a case of thumbs in a closet.
Sara: : Friend of yours?
Keppler: : No, serial killer.
Sara: : Do you miss it?
Keppler: : What?
Sara: : Philly.
Keppler: : No.
Sara: : Hi. What are you doing?
Keppler: : Just looking.
Sara: : What do you think?
Keppler: : Meticulous. Obsessive. Clearly knows his way around a modeling kit.
Sara: : Grissom didn't make those.
Keppler: : No? Hmm. Fits the profile. Bugs in bottles, the Darwin desk set.
Sara: : He's a... bit of a collector of certain things.
Keppler: : Yeah, I knew a guy in Philly like that. Kept a case of thumbs in a closet.
Sara: : Friend of yours?
Keppler: : No, serial killer.
Sara: : Do you miss it?
Keppler: : What?
Sara: : Philly.
Keppler: : No.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: : I hear that there was some friction in the lab when I was gone.
Warrick: : Did you ever hear of reverse forensics? [Grissom looks up at him, a little shocked]
Warrick: : Did you ever hear of reverse forensics? [Grissom looks up at him, a little shocked]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: : Catherine, lay out room, now!
Catherine: [enters] Gil, where's the fire? [Catherine sees the miniature crime scene and looks confused]
Grissom: : It's been sitting in my office for the last 4 weeks.
Catherine: : But we caught the miniature serial killer, he confessed.
Grissom: : Yeah, and I watched him blow his brains out. But, I think the package was post marked after he killed himself.
Catherine: : Maybe he arranged to have it sent post-mortum.
Grissom: : The three other murders, the miniature was left at the scene. This one was addressed to me.
Catherine: : So now it's personal.
Catherine: [enters] Gil, where's the fire? [Catherine sees the miniature crime scene and looks confused]
Grissom: : It's been sitting in my office for the last 4 weeks.
Catherine: : But we caught the miniature serial killer, he confessed.
Grissom: : Yeah, and I watched him blow his brains out. But, I think the package was post marked after he killed himself.
Catherine: : Maybe he arranged to have it sent post-mortum.
Grissom: : The three other murders, the miniature was left at the scene. This one was addressed to me.
Catherine: : So now it's personal.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: : What is this, Grissom? Romeo and Juliet.
Grissom: : Post-Mortem photography. Memento Mori. In the nineteenth century the photo of the dead loved one was a popular keepsake. Death remembered. One last look.
Grissom: : Post-Mortem photography. Memento Mori. In the nineteenth century the photo of the dead loved one was a popular keepsake. Death remembered. One last look.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ryan Lansco: : [from video] Come on, guys. It's cold in here! You could at least close the door! [Reads] I, Ryan Lansco ... am a diseased subhuman sex pervert. If you do me, you'll go home with a souvenir: your own little crab colony. [Angrily] My parents better never see this!
Sheila Latham: : Oh, yeah? This is going up on YouTube, or maybe you'd like to put it on your FriendAgenda page. You put everything else up there, why not your crotch rot?
Sheila Latham: : Oh, yeah? This is going up on YouTube, or maybe you'd like to put it on your FriendAgenda page. You put everything else up there, why not your crotch rot?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: Four crime scene miniatures. Four murder victims. And one diabolical killer with an obsessive streak who still remains at large. I don't know if any of you have noticed how distracted Grissom's been lately, but it's these keeping him up at night.
Archie: You know the combination?
Hodges: Of course. Grissom could use some fresh eyes on the case and that's why I've asked you here. Obviously, this could be perceived as insulting to the CSIs who formerly worked the cases, so secrecy is of the utmost importance. Double down low.
Mandy: [in a british accent] Oh James, it's Monnypenny. M needs you back at HQ.
Archie: Shoe phone was get smart, girl.
Mandy: Oh, that's right
Henry: Ninety-nine was so hot.
Archie: Yeah
Hodges: Four people are dead, the killer's still out there, and you're mocking?
Mandy: We're mocking you.
Hodges: Ah. You in or out?
Henry: I don't really know anything about these cases.
Hodges: We'll review.
Henry: I don't know, I have a lot of work to do.
Hodges: And by work, you mean IMing your Icelandic penpal who thinks that you look like Warrick Brown, because that's the picture you posted.
Henry: How?
Hodges: I just know. Archie? You in?
Archie: What the hell? But I gotta leave early. I've got a surfing trip in Santa Barbra this weekend.
Hodges: Miss Mockery?
Mandy: Well, we can't leave the lab. We can't talk to suspects. What exactly does Grissom want us to do?
Hodges: It's not always what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Henry: That's Thoreau.
Hodges: Oh, is it?
Archie: Okay, professor, and your point would be?
Hodges: The answers lie in these. We're lab techs. We
Archie: You know the combination?
Hodges: Of course. Grissom could use some fresh eyes on the case and that's why I've asked you here. Obviously, this could be perceived as insulting to the CSIs who formerly worked the cases, so secrecy is of the utmost importance. Double down low.
Mandy: [in a british accent] Oh James, it's Monnypenny. M needs you back at HQ.
Archie: Shoe phone was get smart, girl.
Mandy: Oh, that's right
Henry: Ninety-nine was so hot.
Archie: Yeah
Hodges: Four people are dead, the killer's still out there, and you're mocking?
Mandy: We're mocking you.
Hodges: Ah. You in or out?
Henry: I don't really know anything about these cases.
Hodges: We'll review.
Henry: I don't know, I have a lot of work to do.
Hodges: And by work, you mean IMing your Icelandic penpal who thinks that you look like Warrick Brown, because that's the picture you posted.
Henry: How?
Hodges: I just know. Archie? You in?
Archie: What the hell? But I gotta leave early. I've got a surfing trip in Santa Barbra this weekend.
Hodges: Miss Mockery?
Mandy: Well, we can't leave the lab. We can't talk to suspects. What exactly does Grissom want us to do?
Hodges: It's not always what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Henry: That's Thoreau.
Hodges: Oh, is it?
Archie: Okay, professor, and your point would be?
Hodges: The answers lie in these. We're lab techs. We
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: : You know, I kind of feel bad for these girls.
Hodges: : Don't feel too bad. They have health benefits, good pay. The women get regular check-ups. The industry is well-regulated. As opposed to picking a hooker up off the street. Does she have a disease? Multiple diseases? Is she crazy? Is she gonna roll you? Where do you go? Do you do it in your car, behind a building, down a dark alley? So you drive around, scared out of your mind, finally get the nerve up, pick one you like, call her over, she gets in. Next thing you know, you're down on the pavement, cuffed, because she's an undercover cop, but luckily you were three months shy of your eighteenth birthday so when you call your mom to come get you, it doesn't go on my permanent record.
Greg: [momentarily speechless] ... Okay.
Hodges: : Don't feel too bad. They have health benefits, good pay. The women get regular check-ups. The industry is well-regulated. As opposed to picking a hooker up off the street. Does she have a disease? Multiple diseases? Is she crazy? Is she gonna roll you? Where do you go? Do you do it in your car, behind a building, down a dark alley? So you drive around, scared out of your mind, finally get the nerve up, pick one you like, call her over, she gets in. Next thing you know, you're down on the pavement, cuffed, because she's an undercover cop, but luckily you were three months shy of your eighteenth birthday so when you call your mom to come get you, it doesn't go on my permanent record.
Greg: [momentarily speechless] ... Okay.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: : So the guy took an arrow through the throat and it prolonged his life?
Dr. Robbins: : Apparently.
Catherine: : And what are the odds of it not hitting any major artery?
Dr. Robbins: : Whatever comes right before
Dr. Robbins: : Apparently.
Catherine: : And what are the odds of it not hitting any major artery?
Dr. Robbins: : Whatever comes right before
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: : To me, sex without love is pointless. It? makes you sad.
Sara: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad.
Grissom: : No, you make me happy.
Sara: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad.
Grissom: : No, you make me happy.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Preston: : Chyna was sucking the life out of me. She deserved none of what she wanted and all of what she got in the end. I'm glad it took a long time for her to die. I can only imagine the pain.
Brass: : You know, everytime I think about leaving this job, a guy like you comes along and reminds me why I can't.
Brass: : You know, everytime I think about leaving this job, a guy like you comes along and reminds me why I can't.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: How much do you think a night like this would cost?
Catherine: Heather told me, five years ago she was clearing twenty grand a week. And that was before LadyHeather.com.
Sara: [after a moment] What is she like?
Catherine: Beautiful, smart, intense…charming. The only woman I've ever seen rattle Grissom. [Sara starts to look uncomfortable] I mean he kinda liked that forensic anthropologist, Teri Miller, remember her? But, she wasn't enough of a challenge for him. Heather, on the other hand uninhibited and can beat him at mental chess, [more uncomfortable] they had chemistry and he is a scientist. I have no proof and I know he'd never tell me, [more uncomfortable] but I'm certain they spent the night together. [very uncomfortable]
Catherine: Heather told me, five years ago she was clearing twenty grand a week. And that was before LadyHeather.com.
Sara: [after a moment] What is she like?
Catherine: Beautiful, smart, intense…charming. The only woman I've ever seen rattle Grissom. [Sara starts to look uncomfortable] I mean he kinda liked that forensic anthropologist, Teri Miller, remember her? But, she wasn't enough of a challenge for him. Heather, on the other hand uninhibited and can beat him at mental chess, [more uncomfortable] they had chemistry and he is a scientist. I have no proof and I know he'd never tell me, [more uncomfortable] but I'm certain they spent the night together. [very uncomfortable]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: S and M is a rich man’s sport. Kinda like hockey, a lot of equipment.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: [noticing the rope on the floor] Did she have ligature marks?
Brass: : On her neck, yeah.
Catherine: That doesn't make any sense. She's a dominatrix, not a submissive.
Brass: Maybe the party just got out of control.
Catherine: Somebody…didn't know the rules.
Brass: : On her neck, yeah.
Catherine: That doesn't make any sense. She's a dominatrix, not a submissive.
Brass: Maybe the party just got out of control.
Catherine: Somebody…didn't know the rules.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: [about Lady Heather] I don't understand. She's very strong, and tough as nails. Why didn't she fight?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ecklie: You've been dodging me, it's time to talk. Gil, nobody wants to hear about your love life less than I do, but since you didn't handle this right, I have to take a formal statement. [Grissom stares at him] It should have been a conversation between friends. I mean, we could find someway around this. Catherine could have done Sara's evaluations. Why didn't you just tell me?
Grissom: We didn't want you to know.
Ecklie: Don't most women like the world to know they are dating someone?
Grissom: Where do you get your information about women, Conrad?
Ecklie: [pauses] Okay... so when did you two... you know...
Grissom: Nine years ago.
Ecklie: You know what? You two need to get your stories straight.
Grissom: We didn't want you to know.
Ecklie: Don't most women like the world to know they are dating someone?
Grissom: Where do you get your information about women, Conrad?
Ecklie: [pauses] Okay... so when did you two... you know...
Grissom: Nine years ago.
Ecklie: You know what? You two need to get your stories straight.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ecklie: Hey, how's the arm?
Sara: Fractured in two places. [Ecklie tries to call Grissom, no answer, so he leaves a message on his phone]
Ecklie: Is it feeling better?
Sara: Yeah.
Ecklie: So, you must know where he is.
Sara: Actually, I don't.
Ecklie: Really? Um... [pauses] Look, I don't wanna play any games here, this is as difficult for me as it is for you. So, let's just get this over with, shall we? Okay, then, this is an administrative inquiry. You and your supervisor were in direct violation of lab policies.
Sara: Are.
Ecklie: [pauses for a second] Are. In direct violation of lab policies, which states that members of the same forensic team may not engage in a romantic relationship. So, when did you and Supervisor Grissom begin your relationship?
Sara: Well, we've always had a relationship.
Ecklie: [pauses, looks uncomfortable] I mean...when did you become intimate?
Sara: Two years ago. I think it was a Sunday.
Sara: Fractured in two places. [Ecklie tries to call Grissom, no answer, so he leaves a message on his phone]
Ecklie: Is it feeling better?
Sara: Yeah.
Ecklie: So, you must know where he is.
Sara: Actually, I don't.
Ecklie: Really? Um... [pauses] Look, I don't wanna play any games here, this is as difficult for me as it is for you. So, let's just get this over with, shall we? Okay, then, this is an administrative inquiry. You and your supervisor were in direct violation of lab policies.
Sara: Are.
Ecklie: [pauses for a second] Are. In direct violation of lab policies, which states that members of the same forensic team may not engage in a romantic relationship. So, when did you and Supervisor Grissom begin your relationship?
Sara: Well, we've always had a relationship.
Ecklie: [pauses, looks uncomfortable] I mean...when did you become intimate?
Sara: Two years ago. I think it was a Sunday.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Gil Grissom: Hey Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I-um, probably shouldn't say this, but I'm a huge fan. I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years, and worked over 2,000 homicides, and you are by far... the best I've ever seen. I mean, you're such a great artist. And to be so young, and so talented, and... so pretty. I've thought about you every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what you do. I built my own miniature.
[Natalie nods her head]
Gil Grissom: You saw it? How'd I do?
[Natalie shrugs]
Gil Grissom: You play chess?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Gil Grissom: I play. It's a hobby. Quiets my mind, you know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed by it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd love to play you sometime. I'm so impressed by the way you embraced your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. You studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where you knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way you killed Sara.
Natalie: [shaking her head] I didn't kill her.
Gil Grissom: You didn't?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Natalie: This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.
Gil Grissom: No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.
[Natalie cuts him off]
Natalie: It's always about her.
[she takes a blade from her mouth and slashes Grissom's throat and watches as he bleeds. Then in a baby voice]
Natalie: Oh sad was the day for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the seat of the terrible ache. T'was
[Natalie nods her head]
Gil Grissom: You saw it? How'd I do?
[Natalie shrugs]
Gil Grissom: You play chess?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Gil Grissom: I play. It's a hobby. Quiets my mind, you know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed by it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd love to play you sometime. I'm so impressed by the way you embraced your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. You studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where you knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way you killed Sara.
Natalie: [shaking her head] I didn't kill her.
Gil Grissom: You didn't?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Natalie: This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.
Gil Grissom: No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.
[Natalie cuts him off]
Natalie: It's always about her.
[she takes a blade from her mouth and slashes Grissom's throat and watches as he bleeds. Then in a baby voice]
Natalie: Oh sad was the day for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the seat of the terrible ache. T'was
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine Willows: : Okay... we're in a David Lynch movie. Where's the dwarf?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Gil Grissom: : My God. She was at the crime scene.
Nick Stokes: : So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick Brown: : I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine Willows: : I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil Grissom: : It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil Grissom: : This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]
Nick Stokes: : So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick Brown: : I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine Willows: : I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil Grissom: : It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil Grissom: : This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Captain Jim Brass: : I don't want to waste time screwing around with this nut case. I'm going to get some bleach, and drip it on her until she gives up the location. I mean they can't accuse us of police brutality for that.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Gil Grissom: : I found a thriving miniature hobbyist community on-line. Sites where people meet, chat, exchange building tips, list stores they shop in.
Nick Stokes: : [looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why you built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?
Nick Stokes: : [looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why you built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine Willows: : A grown man, sticks his hand up the back of a doll, and speaks like a girl. Sounds healthy.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation