CSI - NY Quotes

Stella: Danny, help is on the way.
Danny: Well, I'll be in here.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Locksmith made a tiny hole on the wall]
Locksmith: Can you see me?
Danny: Yeah, you're beautiful. Now get me out.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Stella: [repeating what the therapist just said] Hypnotherapy...
Flack: You're rich enough, you try things.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Flack: What have you got there?
Stella: Surfactant and hypochlorite.
Flack: And for those of us with just a high-school diploma?
Stella: Bleach.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Stella: That's it? No butler?
Flack: No.
Stella: Too bad. I thought we could wrap that one up quick.
Flack: What?
Stella: In a mansion like that, it's always the butler. Didn't you ever play Clue?
Flack: I was a Monopoly guy.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[About the burn victim]
Hawkes: Tattoo on the inner thigh, means eyes only, means our vic had a lover.
Marty: Lovers' spat? Things got a little heated?
Hawkes: Literally.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[About the burn victim]
Angie: Buyer beware. Kandy was a gold digger. I just wanted her next lover to know all the facts. I gave her everything she wanted. And she burned me.
Mac: And someone did the same to her.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Adam: Perfect timing, fellas. We are looking down from 22,300 miles from space.
Danny: We found our spores here on earth, Adam.
Adam: I am a scientist without a badge, Danny. Trust me.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Sid: You are as smart as you are beautiful.
Stella: Don't flirt with me, Hammerback.
Sid: Yes, Detective.
Stella: [walking away] Stay focused.

TV Show: CSI - NY
(Marty is consulting Danny over the phone about how to examine the victim)
Marty: Lucky you're not claustrophobic. Me? I do not like confined spaces.
Danny: Why'd you choose a career that puts you in a windowless room with dead bodies then?
Marty: Ladies love the degree.
Danny: 6 years of med school to become a player, eh?
Marty: No...I was already a player, Messer. I just needed the bank to pay for my Porsche.
Danny: You know what? I officially hate you right now, all right?
Marty: [laughing] You done?
Danny: Yup. Only thing abnormal about this guy is the blood leaking from his neck.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Stella: Well you're gonna have to test it. Look around. Improvise.
Danny: Word of the day. Improvise.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Marty & Danny talk about Time of Death]
Marty: Let's get a more precise TOD.
Danny: You're not serious.
Marty: There's gotta be a bathroom there, right?
Danny: Yeah.
Marty: Then be a good Boy Scout and go find a thermometer.
[Danny goes to the bathroom]
Danny: It's your lucky day, Doc.
Marty: Nice. Now plant it in the end zone, and put some points on the board.
[Danny doesn't say anything]
Marty: Messer? Is it in?
Danny: Gimme a sec. Rigor's setting in.
Marty: Welcome to my world.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Danny Messer: [after using glue and a coffee pot to check a knife for fingerprints] Think I've seen this on an episode of The Flintstones.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Danny Messer: Oh Miss MacGyver... grab your camera! I've got a foreign print!

TV Show: CSI - NY
Detective Stella Bonasera: How does somebody get inside of a locked vault with only one door?
Danny Messer: If Houdini were alive, we'd have our killer

TV Show: CSI - NY
Danny Messer: So one of them died from the paint and the other one died for the paint.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Mac: [looking down the drain] Are you good with a wrench?
Danny: [chuckling to himself] Am I good with a wrench....

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Adam's examining fungal spores, and Danny walks in]
Adam: Hmmm. Aspergillus Sydowii.
Danny: I was just thinking about that.
Adam: It's the, uh...fungal spores found on Jennifer Fazotti's body.
Danny: Fungal spores. Says they're indigenous to the Sahara desert.
Adam: How does an African fungus end up on a murder victim in New York City?

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Lindsay walks into the crime scene dressed in formal wear. Mac is already there in formal wear, having been to the mayor's party]
Danny Messer: Well, hello, Miss Monroe. You clean up nice. Were you at the mayor's party also?
Lindsay Monroe: I was at the opera.
Danny: I am hanging out with all the wrong people.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Lindsay holds a shirt she ripped off a suspect who was trying to escape]
Danny: Nice collar, Montana.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Mac: 18-hour shift wasn't enough? Now you're catching bodies on the way home?
Danny: Nah, the bodies are catching me.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Mac: This kid was subway-surfing...and he never made it out of the tube.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Flack: QT Jammer. Most notorious trader in Manhattan. This guy was a Rambo. Half a billion in assets, trades commodities for a living. You think betting the NFL's tough, try betting on pork bellies, coffee, or grain. How do you bet on grain?
Stella: Look, what I don't spend I put in the bank.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Stella's waiting in autopsy, and Sid wheels out the body]
Sid: Uh, sorry for the delay. QT and I were busy necking.
Stella: Come again?
Sid: Necking.
[Stella looks confused]
Sid: Looking at his neck.
Stella: Oh.
Sid: You don't think I'd kiss a corpse, do you?
Stella: Oh, no, no.
Sid: That's disgusting.
Stella: I agree.
Sid: As long as we've got that straight.
Stella: So, Sid,...cause of death?

TV Show: CSI - NY
Conductor: Subway surfing was a lot more popular in the late 80's, 90's, but we still get these doot-da-doots every once in a while.
Lindsay: Doot-da whats?
Conductor: Doot-da-doots. You know, idiot, moron, knucklehead. Where you from, Jersey?
[A few moments later]
Lindsay: Did anybody cause any trouble? Any doot-da-doots get your attention?
Conductor: That's very nice. She used it in a sentence.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Flack: QT Jammer's dead.
Reiter: What'd he do? Jump out a window?
Stella: Now why would you say that?

TV Show: CSI - NY
[Talking about the shark tooth]
Mac: This tooth came right from the shark's mouth. So, the person who owned it caught the fish or knew the person who did.
Lindsay: That could be in Australia for all we know.
Adam: Hmm. My friend Grateloupia turuturu would beg to differ.
Mac: Brown algae?

TV Show: CSI - NY
Bobby Martin: It's a tragedy to all of us, Mrs Chandler, but the market goes on, by sunrise we'll be open for business and I'd be honored to make you a killing.
Stella: And I'd be honored to bust you for a killing.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Stella: As C-Exchange demands that all its brokers get printed when they get their Series 7 license....
Hawkes: What it didn't say was whether you take chloroform with your coffee.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Adam Ross: Strange case, you know. Bar nuts, shark tooth, tropical fish.
Detective Mac Taylor: Beta Splendon. Or Siamese Fighting Fish, to be exact. The brilliant colors are exclusive to males. Males in the same tank will kill each other.
Adam Ross: Ironic.
Detective Mac Taylor: No. Wild Wild Wet.
Adam Ross: [laughs] Whoa. That's a very hip, very salacious Manhattan club. It just kind of popped in your head like that?
Detective Mac Taylor: And your point?
Adam Ross: [flustered] Well... well I just - just didn't think that you would just...
Detective Mac Taylor: The bar's over on Broadway near Chelsea University, Fighting Fish on every table. It's a short train ride from where Randy Williams was found.
Adam Ross: [impressed] Ah you're the man, you can hang anywhere you want, huh?
Detective Mac Taylor: I was at the scene of a crime, Adam. The bouncers went a little overboard, ended up killing some kid from Staten Island. Shrimp cocktail is fantastic. Get me something more on that tooth.

TV Show: CSI - NY