CSI - NY Quotes

Lindsay: Our robbers are wearing the very latest in B & E chic. This season no heist is complete without these little beauties.
[Lindsay is wearing button size LEDs that make her head appear unidentifiable on the screen as it's covered by a bright light]
Lindsay: I'm walking... I'm walking... I'm walking. I'm busting the safe, I'm making my escape.
Jo: A must-have for the fashion forward felon.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Danny: If Jimmy would have just patted these guys down a little better, or if that gun just fell one inch in the other direction, his whole life is different right now.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Danny: Six years on the job, Jimmy... how you end up working for this bastard Carson?
James Belson: Oh, come on, man, he doubled my salary. Wasn't like I had a lot of options. Hey, you know, if you're interested, now that you're a family man, maybe I could line something up for you.
Danny: I don't plan on retiring any time soon.
James Belson: Well, neither was I, if you remember.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Sid: This poor boy was beaten, cut and shot. Does it seem at all extreme for a simple street mugging?

TV Show: CSI - NY
Lindsay: $5 million worth of gems just fall in this guy's lap.
Jo: And there he is, thinking it's the luckiest day of his life.
Mac: Turns out to be anything but.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Adam: What would you do?
Danny: What would I do what?
Adam: You know, if you found millions of dollars of gems in the street?
Danny: Give 'em back.
Adam: Oh, come on, guy. You wouldn't keep some?
Danny: Why, would you?
Adam: No, no, no, I... I'd give 'em back. Mostly... I mean... maybe keep one or two.
Danny: Know what happens to people that take things that don't belong to them, right?
Adam: No.
Danny: Other people are getting hurt. Doc! Come here, we got an ethical debate going on, and Adam is failing miserably. What do you do if you come across a fortune of precious gems that don't belong to you?
Hawkes: I'd give them to the guy with the knife to my throat.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Flack: Got any bad habits, Arnold? For instance, I crack my knuckles. It used to drive my mom nuts (his knuckles crack) Some people pick their nose, chew with their mouths open, use a pen knife to clean their fingernails in public.
Arnold Vonley: So what? That's a crime now?
Flack: No, Arnold, that's not a crime. It's disgusting, but it's not a crime. Unless, of course, you use that same pen knife to mug someone.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Flack: What about the bag?
Arnold Vonley: Man, I'm a specialist. Strictly cash and jewelry only. I'm not risking my life for some sweaty gym socks.
Flack: How much did you get away with?
Arnold Vonley: 20 bucks. Plus the watch. Probably like 80 bucks, total.
Flack: I'm gonna be honest with you, Arnold. You're probably the dumbest mugger I've ever met.
Arnold Vonley: Why? What was in the bag?
Flack: Five million dollars. Those were some valuable gym socks.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Flack: No way Arnold did it. He's strictly small time. Muggings. Petty theft.
Hawkes: So he robs our John Doe and leaves behind a bag worth five mil.
Flack: Yep, I guarantee you he will regret that decision for a very long time.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Jenny Harper: Wait, you don't blame him, right? 'Cause he wanted to keep it?
Flack: I think he was very lucky that he had a girlfriend who pointed him in the right direction.
Jenny Harper: Yeah, that direction got him killed.
Flack: The men who stole those gems placed a tracking device on them. So they were probably tracking Heath's movements. The fact that he was bringing them to us didn't save his life, but it might've saved yours.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[When a body is found inside a car left on the roof of an abandoned building]
Jo: It certainly is a unique spot for a body dump.
Mac: It's also a perfect place to commit murder.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Adam: It's got all the auditory markers of an ass dial. You know, when your phone's in your back pocket and you make a call that you don't even know you're making. For instance, okay... my ass dialled my girlfriend once when I was out at a bar with some friends. Left, like, a 15-minute message, you know? I mean, it would've been really funny, except we were talking about her the whole time, and...
Mac: That's how she became your ex-girlfriend?
Adam: Well... yeah.
Mac: Clear out the ambient sound, see if there's anything useful underneath, and call me when you got something. With your fingers, not your ass.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Lindsay: Ted and Paul Kendricks. They're brothers. They were arrested a few years ago for trying to rob an ATM cash warehouse and use a plane as a getaway car. They served two years.
Jo: Just two years? How's that happen?
Danny: Well, their lawyer was Roland Carson.
Jo: What a coincidence.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Mac [to Roland Carson]: You, uh... you recognize anyone?
Roland Carson: Should I?
Mac: They're the men who broke into your apartment last night. They're also former clients of yours. You care to explain that?
Roland Carson: I've defended a lot of criminals, Detective. It's my job.
Mac: That's not an answer.
Roland Carson: I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe you should ask one of them.
Mac: They're a little bit dead right now. Killed with a handgun registered to you.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Roland Carson [to Mac]: I have clients coming in and out of my apartment all hours of the day, as you know. Any one of them could have walked away with that gun.
Mac: Already preparing your defense theory? A little fanciful, even for you.
Roland Carson: You think I set up the robbery? Hired former clients to have my own apartment broken into, my bodyguard shot and millions stolen from another client, then murdered my former clients with a gun that's easily traced back to me? That's what I call fanciful.
Mac: I'm not hearing a denial.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Roland Carson [to Mac]: This must be the highlight of your career, Detective... going after me.
Mac: It's not even an honourable mention.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Roland Carson: So why would I risk my life for a few bucks? I charge more an hour than you make in a week.
Mac: As an errand boy for drug dealers and thieves.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Roland Carson [to Mac]: If you come after me, I will hit you and your department with a malicious prosecution suit that'll spin your head.
Mac: I'm still not hearing a denial.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Mac [about James Belson]: He must have checked himself out of the hospital right after Danny came to see him. Met up with the Kendricks brothers, killed them, then tracked Heath down.
Jo: That's a lot of activity for someone who just had abdominal surgery. He's going to need medical attention soon.
Mac: Well, he's got five million reasons to play through the pain.

TV Show: CSI - NY
James Belson: Would you believe that this isn't what it looks like?
Danny: Not in the mood for your jokes, buddy. Put it down.
James Belson: What are you gonna do, huh? Gonna shoot me in the back, Danny?
Danny: And not think twice about it, buddy, if it comes to it.

TV Show: CSI - NY
James Belson: You ever think about that night, man, huh? You ever think about what it would've been like if you would've patted those guys down instead of me? If you would've been the guy with the flashlight in the backseat? And don't you even pretend that you would've seen that gun any better than me.
Danny: Doesn't matter, Jimmy. Now, put the damn gun down or I will shoot you.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Roland Carson: Can I have the gems back now? My client would like to take possession.
Mac: They're evidence now. Sorry.
Roland Carson: What the hell am I supposed to tell my client?
Mac: Well, you're a persuasive guy. Persuade them not to kill you.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Roland Carson: Wait... where's the ring? Diamonds, emeralds. It's an heirloom. It's worth a million at least, Detective.
Mac: What you see is what we found in the trunk of Belson's car.
Roland Carson: Can't be. Maybe Belson kept it with him somehow.
Mac: Ah, they usually check prisoners for heirlooms at Rikers.
Roland Carson: It's the most important piece here.
Mac: Mr. Carson, these gems have been all over the city, in and out of many hands. The ring could've gotten lost anywhere.
Roland Carson: That's not good enough, Detective.
Mac: Sue me.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Danny: Rooftop is clean. If there was ever trace up here, Mother Nature did not want us to find it.
Lindsay: What about the stairwell?
Danny: It's my next stop.
Lindsay: You want help?
Danny: Uh, well, with 738 stairs, I think I'm good.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Lindsay: Can you imagine finding your kid like this?
Danny: No, no, and I don't even want to think about it.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Jo: What's with the car?
Flack: The original architect had a thing for big-boy toys and drag racing. Been up here 40 years.
Mac: I had daydreams of owning one well into my 20s.
Jo: I'm assuming yours didn't come standard with a dead body.
Mac: That wasn't even an option.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[As Hawkes and Sid are about to remove a decomposing body from a car]
Hawkes: This is gonna get ugly.
Sid: Indeed. Do you prefer heads or tails?
Hawkes: Does it really matter?
Sid: In that case, you can have tails.

TV Show: CSI - NY
[When part of the skull of the body comes off as Sid and Hawkes trying to handle it slowly]
Sid: Uh! Under the circumstances, I suggest we apply the tried-and-true Band-Aid method.
Hawkes: Band-Aid method?
Sid: One, two, three... pull!

TV Show: CSI - NY
Jo: Honey, what are you doing here?
Ellie: We have to leave New York. This whole move-to-the-Big-Apple thing is not gonna work.
Jo: Oh, honey...
Mac: Take all the time you need.
Jo: (mouths) Thank you.

TV Show: CSI - NY
Ellie: I'll give this stupid school another shot.
Jo: Thank you. I owe you one.
Ellie: A new pair of soccer cleats and some shin guards?
Jo: That's two (laughs) It's a deal.

TV Show: CSI - NY