Darkwing Duck Quotes

Darkwing: [hearing Gosalyn's snore] This kid could wake Elvis...

TV Show: Darkwing Duck
[Taurus Bulba is sending Darkwing a message in coded message from his airship.]
Hammerhead: But boss, what if he doesn't know morse code?
Taurus Bulba: [laughs] That do-gooder? He probably sleeps with the Boy Scout handbook under his pillow.
[In Darkwing Tower, Darkwing pulls the Boy Scout handbook out from under his pillow]
Darkwing: Phew! Sure glad I saved this baby!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the jailer who throws away the key! I AM- [notices he is alone] feeling really stupid. Boy I hate it when I'm early. You'd think criminal masterminds would be more punctual.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Gosalyn: Eat fiber, horn head!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Gosalyn: [to Taurus Bulba] Darkwing Duck is gonna crush you like a stale corn chip!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: I could have had a life, but no, I chose to be a clown in a mask and cape! All I need are floppy shoes and bozo nose!!!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Gosalyn: I'm sorry, Darkwing. If they hadn't caught me, you wouldn't have risked your life.
Darkwing: Gos, before I met you I didn't have a life worth risking.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Gosalyn: [after the condor drops her and almost lets her hit the ground] And to think, I used to pay money for rides like that.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Clovis: Mom was right. I should have been a dental hygienist.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Taurus Bulba: I underestimated you once, Darkwing Duck! This time you simply die!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Orphanage Director: I'm sorry, Mr. Mallard. Gosalyn's not feeling very well today. And frankly, it appears you've seen better days yourself.
Drake Mallard: Oh, the bandages? Just a little kitchen accident. I always forget the milk.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Gosalyn: I thought you were-
Drake: Ha! Nobody can hurt Dark- uh, Drake Mallard. Besides, I've got to take care of myself, now that I've going to have an adopted daughter to worry about.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Dr. Reginald Bushroot: [first line] Hey, stop it you guys! Give it back!

TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Bushroot: [sadly] All I wanted to do was make the world a better place to live. Now look at me. I'm a walking salad bar.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
[After a tree rescues Bushroot from the puppy that was chasing him]
Bushroot: I guess dogs aren't tree's best friend. Wait a minute, you moved! But you can't move! But you did move. I must be losing my mind. I gotta sit down for a moment.
[A chair-shaped flower sprouts out of the ground.]
Bushroot: [sits down] Thanks. Oh no, it happened again. A drink? Yes, that's what I need. A drink. [drinks some water through his root-foot] I must have some telepathatic link with plants. This is a scientific breakthrough! Yes that's it! I'm the Doctor Doolittle of the plant world!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: I was soon to discover that the only thing more dangerous than a half-plant, half-duck is a half-plant, half-duck in love.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: [wrapping himself in vines] We're creating the perfect disguise to catch Bushroot!
Dr. Rhoda Dendron: But that's poison ivy!
Darkwing: I see. Well, then, that explains this incredible itching sensation. AAAAAH!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: You feel "so sorry" for that villainous vegetable? That, that.. Flipped-out, felonious flora?!? I'M the one with the Swiss-cheese cape!


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Bushroot: Ah, what a beautiful bride you are! And with a beautiful blossum like you at my side, the whole world will be green with envy! This is the happiest day of my life! [blows nose]
Rhoda Dendron: But- but- I can't marry you, Dr. Bushroot! I'm a working girl, my career means too much to me right now! Besides, you're a plant, I'm a duck, it'll never work out.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: [waving weedwhacker, which suddenly sputters and dies] It slices! It DICES! It- runs out of gas...


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: Admission for two adults and two tiny terrorists.

TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: Phew, if that's Gosalyn, I can't be in a land of giants. I've probably just been... shrunk... to the size... of a... bug. Bleah.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Hamburger Hippo Waiter: [boredly] Don't shoot. The money's in the register.
Darkwing: Oh, no, no. I'm not a robber.
Waiter: You're not a robber?
Darkwing: No.
Waiter: You're just some weirdo in a mask?
Darkwing: Correct. I am just some weirdo in a mask.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Miniature Darkwing: [squeaky voice] Launchpad, I've been shrunk!
Launchpad: What was that, Darkwing? I can't understand you! [holds Darkwing up to his ear]
Darkwing: [shrieks] I'VE- BEEN- SHRUNK!
Launchpad: Well, gee, DW, I coulda told you that.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Bushroot: Never again will I be lonely! Never again will I be told, 'I can't go out with you, you're just a shrub!' I've found the way to obtain the perfect bride! I'm growing my own.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Bushroot: [to a sales girl he has tied up] Which color do you think would look better on my bride? The pink or the blue?
Sales Girl: Well, what does your bride look like?
Bushroot: She's a large potato.
Sales Girl: Then I'd have to go with the blue.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: There are no such things as vampires. Scientists that turn themselves into plants, yes. Vampires, no.


TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Gosalyn: [about the Muddlefoots, who have been turned into zombies] Dad! Something is wrong with them! They're watching a test pattern!
Darkwing: Gooooooood, maybe they can understand the plot!

TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Herb Muddlefoot: [about the test pattern] Hey, I seen this movie before!

TV Show: Darkwing Duck
Darkwing: Forget it, Gosalyn, you're too young to explode.

TV Show: Darkwing Duck