Deadpool Quotes
[last lines] Deadpool: See? You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you. Now, let's finish this epic wide shot... pull out, here we go... that looks nice, its gonna be about the only thing that's pullin' out tonight. Who doesn't love a happy ending, huh? Until next time, this is your friendly neighborhood Pool guy singing... [alongside George Michael's Careless Whisper vocals]
Deadpool: I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you, ohhhhhhh!
Deadpool: I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you, ohhhhhhh!
Movie: Deadpool
Wade Wilson: [drops fistful of tickets on counter]A limited edition Voltron Defender of the Universe ring, por favor.
Arcade Ticket Taker: [moves tickets aside]Okay, here we go...
Wade Wilson: [indicates ring to Vanessa]I've had my eye on this sucker for a while.
Vanessa Carlysle: And I will take the pencil eraser.
Arcade Ticket Taker: Okay. [to Wade]
Arcade Ticket Taker: You are now the proud protector of the planet Arus. [to Vanessa]
Arcade Ticket Taker: And you can erase stuff written in pencil.
Wade Wilson: [offers Vanessa his arm]M'lady.
Arcade Ticket Taker: [moves tickets aside]Okay, here we go...
Wade Wilson: [indicates ring to Vanessa]I've had my eye on this sucker for a while.
Vanessa Carlysle: And I will take the pencil eraser.
Arcade Ticket Taker: Okay. [to Wade]
Arcade Ticket Taker: You are now the proud protector of the planet Arus. [to Vanessa]
Arcade Ticket Taker: And you can erase stuff written in pencil.
Wade Wilson: [offers Vanessa his arm]M'lady.
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: Don't make me ask twice... where's Francis? [cut to later]
Deadpool: He made me ask twice!
Deadpool: He made me ask twice!
Movie: Deadpool
Wade Wilson: Shit. We're within 500 yards of a school, so you may wanna... [to Weasel, off camera]
Wade Wilson: His drink's on him.
Wade Wilson: His drink's on him.
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: [banging a door on a henchman]Where is Francis? Where the fuck is Francis? Where's Francis?
Movie: Deadpool
Buck: [smacks Vanessa's rear]I'd hit that.
Wade Wilson: Buck, you best apologize before... [Vanessa grabs Buck's groin]
Wade Wilson: Yeah, that.
Vanessa Carlysle: Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf.
Buck: I'm sorry.
Wade Wilson: Breathe through the nose.
Buck: I don't have a filter between my brain and my... [Vanessa grabs harder]
Wade Wilson: [to Vanessa]Let go. Okay. Hey, oh, oh, oh... Hakuna his tatas. He's sorry.
Wade Wilson: Buck, you best apologize before... [Vanessa grabs Buck's groin]
Wade Wilson: Yeah, that.
Vanessa Carlysle: Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf.
Buck: I'm sorry.
Wade Wilson: Breathe through the nose.
Buck: I don't have a filter between my brain and my... [Vanessa grabs harder]
Wade Wilson: [to Vanessa]Let go. Okay. Hey, oh, oh, oh... Hakuna his tatas. He's sorry.
Movie: Deadpool
Wade Wilson: [Blind Al appears in the doorway holding an AUG A1 rifle]Hey, hey, careful with that, Ronnie Milsap! We're down range!
Blind Al: I was gonna spend the night assembling the Borje, but this is holding my interest.
Wade Wilson: I told you, we're going with the Urvaj, not the Borje. Get it through your head or get out of fuck town!
Blind Al: Shit!
Blind Al: I was gonna spend the night assembling the Borje, but this is holding my interest.
Wade Wilson: I told you, we're going with the Urvaj, not the Borje. Get it through your head or get out of fuck town!
Blind Al: Shit!
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: [Shoots at Ajax and misses]Shit!
Deadpool: [Shoots at Ajax and misses again]Fuck!
Deadpool: [Shoots at Ajax and misses a third time]Shit fuck!
Deadpool: [Shoots at Ajax and misses again]Fuck!
Deadpool: [Shoots at Ajax and misses a third time]Shit fuck!
Movie: Deadpool
Vanessa Carlysle: I've been trying to tell you assholes, you got the wrong girl! My old boyfriend, he's dead.
Ajax: See, I thought that, too. But he keeps on coming back. Like a cockroach, but uglier. Now, I may not feel, but he does. Let's see how he fights with your head on the block.
Ajax: See, I thought that, too. But he keeps on coming back. Like a cockroach, but uglier. Now, I may not feel, but he does. Let's see how he fights with your head on the block.
Movie: Deadpool
Ajax: Jeez, you should thank me. Apparently, I made you immortal. I'm actually quite jealous.
Wade Wilson: Yeah, but this ain't a life worth livin' is it?
Wade Wilson: Yeah, but this ain't a life worth livin' is it?
Movie: Deadpool
Wade Wilson: It reeks like old lady pants in here.
Blind Al: Well, I am old and I wear pants.
Wade Wilson: But you are not at all woman.
Blind Al: Well, I am old and I wear pants.
Wade Wilson: But you are not at all woman.
Movie: Deadpool
Dopinder: Who brought this twinkly man?
Deadpool: Twinkly, but deadly. My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I told him I would consider joining his boy-band.
Colossus: Is not boy-band!
Deadpool: Sure it's not.
Deadpool: Twinkly, but deadly. My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I told him I would consider joining his boy-band.
Colossus: Is not boy-band!
Deadpool: Sure it's not.
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: Not often a dude ruins your face, skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama, and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments. Let's just say... it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Movie: Deadpool
Ajax: I was a patient here once myself, you know. The treatment affects everyone differently. It made Angel inhumanly strong. In my case, it enhanced my reflexes. Also scorched my nerve endings, so I no longer feel pain. In fact, I no longer feel anything.
Movie: Deadpool
Blind Al: [holds Wade's regenerating hand]Am I crazy, or is your hand really small?
Deadpool: About the size of a KFC spork.
Deadpool: About the size of a KFC spork.
Movie: Deadpool
Ajax: Fucking Wade Wilson. Suppose I'd wear a mask, too, if I had a face like that. I only wish I'd heal the same.
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: [after breaking one of his legs]Ever hear of the one-legged man in the ass-kicking contest?
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: [to the audience while slicing off his own arm]Did you ever see 127 Hours? Spoiler alert.
Movie: Deadpool
Deadpool: [to the audience in the after credits scene]You're still here? It's over. Go home! Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don't have that kind of money. What are you expecting, Sam Jackson show up with an eyepatch and a saucy little leather number? Go, go.
Credits: The making and authorized distribution of this film supported over 13,000 jobs and involved hundreds of thousands of work hours.
Deadpool: Oh, but I can tell you one thing and it's a bit of a secret. In the sequel, we're gonna have Cable. Amazing character. Bionic arm, time travel. We have no idea who we're gonna cast yet but it could be anybody. We just need a big guy with a flat top. Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Keira Knightley, she's got range, who knows? Anyway, big secret, ssshhhh. Oh and don't leave your garbage all lying around. It's a total dick move. Go. Chicka-chickahhhh.
Credits: The making and authorized distribution of this film supported over 13,000 jobs and involved hundreds of thousands of work hours.
Deadpool: Oh, but I can tell you one thing and it's a bit of a secret. In the sequel, we're gonna have Cable. Amazing character. Bionic arm, time travel. We have no idea who we're gonna cast yet but it could be anybody. We just need a big guy with a flat top. Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Keira Knightley, she's got range, who knows? Anyway, big secret, ssshhhh. Oh and don't leave your garbage all lying around. It's a total dick move. Go. Chicka-chickahhhh.
Movie: Deadpool
Colossus: [Deadpool is about to shoot Ajax]Wade! Four or five moments.
Deadpool: I'm sorry?
Colossus: Four or five moments - that's all it takes.
Deadpool: To...?
Colossus: Be a hero.
Ajax: [groans]
Colossus: Everyone thinks it's a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime, there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you're offered a choice - to make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend, spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away. The way the world sees us. The way we... [Deadpool gets bored and shoots Ajax in the head, killing him]
Colossus: [vomits humourously]Why?
Deadpool: You were droning on.
Deadpool: I'm sorry?
Colossus: Four or five moments - that's all it takes.
Deadpool: To...?
Colossus: Be a hero.
Ajax: [groans]
Colossus: Everyone thinks it's a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime, there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you're offered a choice - to make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend, spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away. The way the world sees us. The way we... [Deadpool gets bored and shoots Ajax in the head, killing him]
Colossus: [vomits humourously]Why?
Deadpool: You were droning on.
Movie: Deadpool