Desperate Housewives Quotes
John Rowland: [John and Gabrielle are lying in her bed together after sex] You know what I don't get?
Gabrielle: What?
John Rowland: Why you married Mr. Solis.
Gabrielle: Well, he promised to give me everything I've ever wanted.
John Rowland: Well, did he?
Gabrielle: Yes.
John Rowland: Then... why aren't you happy?
Gabrielle: Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.
John Rowland: So. Do you love him?
Gabrielle: [sighs] I do.
John Rowland: Well, then, why are we here? Why are we doing this?
Gabrielle: Because I don't wanna wake up some morning with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
John Rowland: This is great. Got tons of homework tonight. It's always easier to concentrate after sex.
Gabrielle: Well, I'm glad I could help. Education's very important.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
John Rowland: What other option do you have? Except return the shoes and get your money back.
Gabrielle: Return the shoes? I can't talk to you when you're hysterical.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Paul Young: [asking about selling the house] Will I have to tell them about my wife's death in the house?
Edie: [applying make-up] Yeah. Legal crap. People get really freaked out by suicides. Hell, I get the willies just standing here.
Paul Young: Is there any other option?
Edie: [applying lipstick] Well, you could say that she shot herself in the house, then crawled out back to die...
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Paul Young: You know, Julie is a very special girl.
Zach Young: I know.
Paul Young: She could have just about any boy she wants... I think you're a wonderful kid, I do, but you're not that special, Zach, not really.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Andrew Van De Kamp: Isn't that weird? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes!
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Tom: I love you because you did the right thing, and I admire your bravery.
Lynette: And I love you because you find ways to compliment me when you could just say, "I told you so." [They kiss, then Tom says something in sign language]
Lynette: You just signed "I told you so", didn't you?
Tom: You'll never prove it.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Yao Lin: I don't like lies.
Gabrielle: Yeah, well I don't like your ironing. So there.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Mary Alice: An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Mary Alice: Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn't one of them.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Mary Alice: It's a rare man that understands the value of a perfect rose.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Mary Alice: Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Mary Alice: Yes, sooner or later we must all grow up. No-one knows this better than the young.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Nora Huntington: You think I'm crazy.
Lynette Scavo: No! You're... colorful. Colorful in a way that might respond to medication.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Danielle Van De Kamp: [to Matt Applewhite, who has come into the backyard of the Van De Kamps looking for Caleb while Betty distracts Bree. He doesn't notice Danielle is standing by the pool in a bikini and an open robe, smoking a cigarette, with a big smile on her face] Hello.
Matthew Applewhite: [Startled slightly] Oh, hello.
Danielle Van De Kamp: [Still smiling] Looking for something?
Matthew Applewhite: Uh, yeah. I was looking for you.
Danielle Van De Kamp: [Starts walking towards him] Oh, really?
Matthew Applewhite: Yeah, the day we first met, I thought you were pretty cool.
Danielle Van De Kamp: So I'm wondering when you were going to ask me out. [as she says this, she walks over to one of the lounge chairs and bends over to straighten out the blanket on it, thus showing her butt to him. She turns her head towards him]
Danielle Van De Kamp: 'Cause I'll say 'yes'.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Danielle Van De Kamp: Why can't we ever have normal soups? Like French Onion, or Navy Bean?
Bree Van De Kamp: Well, Danielle, your father is deathly allergic to onions, and I won't even dignify your *navy bean* suggestion with a response.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Sister Mary Bernard: Money can't buy happiness.
Gabrielle: Sure it can! That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
David: You're not willing to get a divorce, but you're willing to have an affair?
Gabrielle: I said I was Catholic, not a fanatic.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives