Dexter Quotes
Doakes: You finally decided to fight back. I've been waiting.
Dexter: I hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday.
Doakes: You might have been, for hell I know. Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. I tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan.
Dexter: I guess there's no recorder running after all.
Doakes: No, man. Unlike you, I do everything out in the open.
Dexter: Well, in that case, sergeant, let me put this in the open for you. No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason.
Doakes: And what's that?
Dexter: I own you.
Dexter: I hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday.
Doakes: You might have been, for hell I know. Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. I tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan.
Dexter: I guess there's no recorder running after all.
Doakes: No, man. Unlike you, I do everything out in the open.
Dexter: Well, in that case, sergeant, let me put this in the open for you. No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason.
Doakes: And what's that?
Dexter: I own you.
TV Show: Dexter
Debra: Who's the skank?
Dexter: Deb, did knocking occur to you?
Debra: Who is she? And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?
Dexter: Hey I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs
Dexter: Deb, did knocking occur to you?
Debra: Who is she? And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?
Dexter: Hey I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs
TV Show: Dexter
[Dexter's kitchen, after the fire at Lila's loft]
Lila: Did somebody drink all the coffee again?
Debra: No, somebody didn't drink all the coffee. I had a cup and Dexter had a cup, and it just kinda went like that until the pot was empty.
Dexter: Deb …
Debra: What? Somebody didn't drink all the coffee. It's a stupid question.
Lila: Did somebody drink all the coffee again?
Debra: No, somebody didn't drink all the coffee. I had a cup and Dexter had a cup, and it just kinda went like that until the pot was empty.
Dexter: Deb …
Debra: What? Somebody didn't drink all the coffee. It's a stupid question.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: What's this? [chuckles] It's the dragon zombie. Cody likes to hide things in my bag.
Lila: He's trying to control you. By hiding toys in your bag, you have no choice but to return them to him.
Dexter: He's seven. He seldom has thoughts more complicated than the desire for candy.
Lila: He's trying to control you. By hiding toys in your bag, you have no choice but to return them to him.
Dexter: He's seven. He seldom has thoughts more complicated than the desire for candy.
TV Show: Dexter
Lundy: Can I offer you some tea?
Dexter: Uh, no, thank you, I'm – [thoughts] And he pours it anyway. He's trying to throw me off balance, show that I don't have the power to say no to him.
Lundy: How about some sesame crackers to go with that?
Dexter: [thoughts] So I'll say yes to everything. [speech] I'd love some.
Lundy: [checks box] Oh, sorry. Guess I ate them all.
Dexter: [thoughts] Asshole.
Dexter: Uh, no, thank you, I'm – [thoughts] And he pours it anyway. He's trying to throw me off balance, show that I don't have the power to say no to him.
Lundy: How about some sesame crackers to go with that?
Dexter: [thoughts] So I'll say yes to everything. [speech] I'd love some.
Lundy: [checks box] Oh, sorry. Guess I ate them all.
Dexter: [thoughts] Asshole.
TV Show: Dexter
Lundy: So you, one of the most cautious and precise forensic specialists I've had the pleasure to work with, you performed blood work that directly led to Rodrigo walking free. I ask myself, how the hell did that happen?
Dexter: [voiceover] And did you answer, Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw?
Dexter: [voiceover] And did you answer, Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw?
TV Show: Dexter
Debra: So he's 20 years older than me, what do you care?
Dexter: I don't. [pause] I mean, [sits down, leans close] I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that.
Debra: What are you talking about, do anything like what?
Dexter: Like, try to sleep your way to the top.
Debra: You douche! That is so not true!
Dexter: Of course not, I shouldn't have even said anything, and I'm sure that thought would never even occur to anybody else.
Debra: Double-douche! You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss "Pardon My Tits". I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.
Dexter: You just described the perfect woman.
Debra: [disgusted]
Dexter: I don't. [pause] I mean, [sits down, leans close] I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that.
Debra: What are you talking about, do anything like what?
Dexter: Like, try to sleep your way to the top.
Debra: You douche! That is so not true!
Dexter: Of course not, I shouldn't have even said anything, and I'm sure that thought would never even occur to anybody else.
Debra: Double-douche! You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss "Pardon My Tits". I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.
Dexter: You just described the perfect woman.
Debra: [disgusted]
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] Lila almost had me believing it was possible. To change, to become something else – as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. [pulls on gloves] If the glove fits …
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] A secret cabin in the middle of the Everglades? What more could a re-dedicated serial killer ask for?
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: It's one thing to fuck with me another to fuck with [pauses] my ex-girlfriend who hates me. The Lila experiment is officially over.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [on Lila] She had me fighting with myself the whole time. All that self-reflection is unhealthy.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [after a disturbing dream] Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [to Rita] I'm sorry. I feel … such regret, which is rare for me. Not that I don't mess up, I do, just never so stupendously. I had you, and them; I had us. So much to have, and to just demolish it. I honestly thought I was smarter than that. Rude awakening.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: I have to get to Jiminez, but a dead man tells no tales. A drunk, unstable woman very well may.
TV Show: Dexter
Frank Lundy: What exactly is Sergeant Doakes' problem with you, Morgan?
Dexter: [voiceover] I kill people, for one.
Dexter: [voiceover] I kill people, for one.
TV Show: Dexter
Rita: Is it over with Lila?
Dexter: Yes, absolutely, completely over. If I never see her again it will be too soon.
Dexter: Yes, absolutely, completely over. If I never see her again it will be too soon.
TV Show: Dexter
Doakes: Jesus Christ, Morgan. Jesus fucking Christ. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher.
Dexter: I really hate that name.
Dexter: I really hate that name.
TV Show: Dexter
Doakes: Shut the fuck up. Let's get this over with. [tosses handcuffs] Put 'em on.
[Dexter hesitates]
Doakes: Morgan, you're done. Give it up.
Dexter: Would you, in my position?
Doakes: I wouldn't be in your position, you sick fuck.
Dexter: You sure about that? You might want to check with Lundy.
[Dexter hesitates]
Doakes: Morgan, you're done. Give it up.
Dexter: Would you, in my position?
Doakes: I wouldn't be in your position, you sick fuck.
Dexter: You sure about that? You might want to check with Lundy.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] Sleep, what a concept. I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in. This is so much better than a prison cell. I can squeeze fresh orange juice, savor a fine French roast, grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison. But still, I'm free.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: Why couldn't you just leave me to do my work in peace? Why'd you have to go and ruin everything?
Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers.
Dexter: So do I. I caught you.
Doakes: I'm not a killer.
Dexter: [chuckles] You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't fuck with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same professional courtesy?
Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job.
Dexter: Oh, so it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it?
Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers.
Dexter: So do I. I caught you.
Doakes: I'm not a killer.
Dexter: [chuckles] You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't fuck with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same professional courtesy?
Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job.
Dexter: Oh, so it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it?
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: My code requires a higher standard of proof than your city's laws, at zero cost to the taxpayer. If you ask me, I'm a bargain.
TV Show: Dexter
Lundy: I thought we were out as a couple.
Debra: Out and flaunting it are two different things.
Lundy: What, don't ask, don't tell?
Debra: Works for the military.
Lundy: Not really.
Debra: Out and flaunting it are two different things.
Lundy: What, don't ask, don't tell?
Debra: Works for the military.
Lundy: Not really.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. I can't keep my problem locked away in a cabin forever. Harry always said there were plenty of people who deserve to die. But no matter how hard I close my eyes and wish, Doakes isn't one of them.
TV Show: Dexter
Dexter: [voiceover] I remember when life was easy. When the only question I worried about was who's next. Now it's: How can I dodge my "protective detail"? What should I do with my "hostage"? These are not easy questions.
TV Show: Dexter
Vince Masuka: All those times he called me lab geek, fairywinkle, donkey fluffer. I'm just glad I took it lying down, you know?
TV Show: Dexter