Dinnerladies Quotes
"'Dolly: And it would be nice if we could all spare a thought for the coming of our Lord.
Twinkle: Oh, not him again. We'll be back on Ragtag and flipping Bobtail in a minute! Can I just finish my coffee?
Philippa: Never mind your bloody coffee. Get in the bloody bloody bloody frigging car!
Twinkle: Oh, not him again. We'll be back on Ragtag and flipping Bobtail in a minute! Can I just finish my coffee?
Philippa: Never mind your bloody coffee. Get in the bloody bloody bloody frigging car!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Bren: That's what it is. I wish I'd met you before.
Tony: Before I had chemo?
Bren: Before I married an alcoholic? I dunno. Twenty years ago? No, not twenty years ago, I had a perm!
Tony: Twenty years ago, I think I did!
Tony: Before I had chemo?
Bren: Before I married an alcoholic? I dunno. Twenty years ago? No, not twenty years ago, I had a perm!
Tony: Twenty years ago, I think I did!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Tony: Did you drive in Anita? How was the traffic?
Anita: The traffic?
Tony: Yeah, you know, cars on the road, passing each other?
Anita: Didn't come that way.
Tony: Yeah, of course you didn't.
Anita: The traffic?
Tony: Yeah, you know, cars on the road, passing each other?
Anita: Didn't come that way.
Tony: Yeah, of course you didn't.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Phillipa: Oh, is it going again? No, it's okay. Contact lenses.
Dolly: No, I liked you in glasses.
Phillipa: Oh, did you?
Dolly: Hm, they diminished your nostrils.
Dolly: No, I liked you in glasses.
Phillipa: Oh, did you?
Dolly: Hm, they diminished your nostrils.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: I'll tell you about the time Keith's Auntie Betty from Cockermouth found two albino gerbils under the spare bed.
Phillipa: Aww. Did they mate?
Jean: Well they didn't, what with them being two angora bed socks.
Phillipa: Aww. Did they mate?
Jean: Well they didn't, what with them being two angora bed socks.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: (about Christine) She's fascinated with what she calls "The City Beyond the Water".
Jean: Halifax?
Jean: Halifax?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Anita: Who's that?
Bren: That's Christine.
Anita: And what's that smell?
Bren: That's Christine as well.
Bren: That's Christine.
Anita: And what's that smell?
Bren: That's Christine as well.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Bren: (about the smell) Have a whiff of raw bacon, it takes the edge off it.
Twinkle: Who was it? Christine?
Bren: Yeah. Might be nerves.
Twinkle: Might be mushy peas!
Twinkle: Who was it? Christine?
Bren: Yeah. Might be nerves.
Twinkle: Might be mushy peas!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Christine: (to Dolly) Your aura is amethyst. Mine's white, the next one up, we have a bond.
Tony: And this is Jean.
Christine: (to Jean) No there's no spark there. You're hardly showing an aura at all.
Tony: And this is Jean.
Christine: (to Jean) No there's no spark there. You're hardly showing an aura at all.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Tony: (about the possibility of Petula coming to live with them) We've got one whiffy old headcase at work, we don't need another one when we get home.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Christine: You're quite shallow, aren't you Brenda. No offense meant!
Bren: No, but lots taken.
Bren: No, but lots taken.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Philippa: (as she and Tony watch the social worker talking to Bren in the office) Oh, flip. She's patting Bren's hand.
Tony: Is that bad?
Philippa: Fatal. Empathy. Sympathy. Just like the Gestapo. Then WHAM! There you are installing a stair lift!
Tony: Is that bad?
Philippa: Fatal. Empathy. Sympathy. Just like the Gestapo. Then WHAM! There you are installing a stair lift!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Petula: What ward am I on?
Paramedic: 8.
Petula: It's mixed isn't it?
Paramedic: Yes.
Petula: Oh, might have a bit of sex. Though after Richard E Grant you don't really want to bother with a load of shagged-out pensioners.
Paramedic: 8.
Petula: It's mixed isn't it?
Paramedic: Yes.
Petula: Oh, might have a bit of sex. Though after Richard E Grant you don't really want to bother with a load of shagged-out pensioners.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: Surely they'll have drugs
Petula: Oh, I think so. Brian's got a few contacts - oh, you mean hospital drugs!
Petula: Oh, I think so. Brian's got a few contacts - oh, you mean hospital drugs!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Anita: When our neighbour died, when the (she draws a box in mid air)
Twinkle: Coffin?
Anita: Went through the (mimes looking through curtains and draws them in mid air as well)
Jean: Curtains?
Anita: They played the theme music from Countdown!
Bren: Did it make you cry?
Anita: No, I never watch it!
Twinkle: Coffin?
Anita: Went through the (mimes looking through curtains and draws them in mid air as well)
Jean: Curtains?
Anita: They played the theme music from Countdown!
Bren: Did it make you cry?
Anita: No, I never watch it!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: (after the ambulance men leave an old woman in a wheelchair in the canteen) I wouldn't get too close, Bren, there could be two slap heads under that blanket!
Twinkle: Do you mean smackheads?
Dolly: There could be two drug addicts under that blanket, ready to leap out!
Jean': They'd have to be pretty small!
Dolly: They are small! Once people are on heroin, square meals fly out of the window, it was in the Daily Mail!
Twinkle: Do you mean smackheads?
Dolly: There could be two drug addicts under that blanket, ready to leap out!
Jean': They'd have to be pretty small!
Dolly: They are small! Once people are on heroin, square meals fly out of the window, it was in the Daily Mail!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Petula: I'm sorry I haven't been a very good mother. You can't be good at everything and I was A1 with a hula hoop.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Petula: I'm not scared. I've already had three near death experiences. Do you remember Bren? Oh, no, you weren't there. The last one there was a light at the end of a long, dark passage and Dusty Springfield was beckoning to me with a lovely smile....turned out i'd passed out in the Mersey Tunnel with a drag act.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: (about the new uniform, which is a pair of green and white striped dungarees). I'm going to look like a bouncy castle. Children are going to line their sandals up and pay a pound to jump on me.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Norman: They did a survey of people who won a lot of money.
Philippa: Did they?
Norman: Ruined their lives in some cases.
Tony: Norman?
Norman: What?
Tony: Shut the-
Jane: ACHOO!!!!!
Tony: -up!
Philippa: Did they?
Norman: Ruined their lives in some cases.
Tony: Norman?
Norman: What?
Tony: Shut the-
Jane: ACHOO!!!!!
Tony: -up!
TV Show: Dinnerladies