Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Chris: Mr. Fong, can I ask you a question?
Mr. Fong: All talk and no work makes Chris unemployed.
Mr. Fong: All talk and no work makes Chris unemployed.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: People found the idea of getting food delivered in Bed-Stuy unbelievable.
Doc: Delivery in Bed-Stuy. Unbelievable!
Doc: Delivery in Bed-Stuy. Unbelievable!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Julius: You just can't quit every time you don't like something. What if Miles Davis quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit Lucille? What if Paul Robeson quit "Ol' Man River?" What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit "pityin' the fool?" What if Stevie quit Wonderin'? What if Fat Albert quit the Cosby Kids? What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doin' the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit Lucille? What if Paul Robeson quit "Ol' Man River?" What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit "pityin' the fool?" What if Stevie quit Wonderin'? What if Fat Albert quit the Cosby Kids? What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doin' the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Later, my mother's tsunami came crashin' down in waves. [Rochelle falls over] Hair today, gone tomorrow.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Julius is never gonna sleep with me again and everybody's gonna think I'm...
Narrator: My mom's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.
Narrator: My mom's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: OK, Smartypants, do I say "hi?" Do I say "hello?" Or maybe "hey?" Or even "hey, hi?" The possibilities are endless! We haven't even gotten to what I'll be wearing.
Narrator: I know what you'll be wearing: a look of frozen terror.
Narrator: I know what you'll be wearing: a look of frozen terror.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Female Chef: [speaking Chinese] You look like Lionel Richie.
Narrator: About as much as you look like Yoko Ono.
Narrator: About as much as you look like Yoko Ono.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: No matter what I did, it seemed like I was supposed to be doin' somethin' else.
Chinese Chef: [speaking Chinese] You're sweeping my foot, fool!
Narrator: When I washed the floors...
Mr. Fong: Lionel Richie, set the tables!
Narrator: When I set the tables...
Mr. Fong: Lionel! Organize the fortune cookies!
Narrator: When I organized the fortune cookies...
Mr. Fong: 5: 30! Lionel Richie, go wash the dishes!
Narrator: He wouldn't talk to the real Lionel Richie like that.
Chinese Chef: [speaking Chinese] You're sweeping my foot, fool!
Narrator: When I washed the floors...
Mr. Fong: Lionel Richie, set the tables!
Narrator: When I set the tables...
Mr. Fong: Lionel! Organize the fortune cookies!
Narrator: When I organized the fortune cookies...
Mr. Fong: 5: 30! Lionel Richie, go wash the dishes!
Narrator: He wouldn't talk to the real Lionel Richie like that.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Mr. Fong: Lionel Richie, you're back just in time for another delivery.
Chris: I'm not goin' back out there. This neighborhood is too dangerous for deliveries. You're basically sendin' me out there with a sign sayin', "Hey, I got money. Please rob me." Plus, I almost got shot.
Mr. Fong: My nephew has been shot by the Chinese army seven times.
Mr. Fong's Nephew: [speaking Chinese] In the face!
Narrator: He should stop attackin' China.
Chris: I'm not goin' back out there. This neighborhood is too dangerous for deliveries. You're basically sendin' me out there with a sign sayin', "Hey, I got money. Please rob me." Plus, I almost got shot.
Mr. Fong: My nephew has been shot by the Chinese army seven times.
Mr. Fong's Nephew: [speaking Chinese] In the face!
Narrator: He should stop attackin' China.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: After two years at Corleone, I'd gotten used to bein' the only black kid, but it had two major downsides. One downside was I was the only black kid, and the other was I was the only black kid.
Ms. Morello: Let's celebrate the day Chris' people finally realized they were emancipated! Happy Juneteenth, Chris! [blows a party horn in Chris' face]
Narrator: I thought things would never change, but then Albert arrived.
Ms. Morello: Let's celebrate the day Chris' people finally realized they were emancipated! Happy Juneteenth, Chris! [blows a party horn in Chris' face]
Narrator: I thought things would never change, but then Albert arrived.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: The only one who wasn't looking forward to Albert bein' at Corleone was Greg.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Albert: Man, I was glad to see you. When I first got here, I thought it was gonna be like my last school, where I was the only black kid. They really gave me a hard time over there! I got beat up almost every day.
Chris: Same here.
Chris: Same here.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: I told you I'd be back.
Greg: Yeah, but for how long, Chris? For how long?
Narrator: That concludes another episode of "As the Nerd Turns."
Greg: Yeah, but for how long, Chris? For how long?
Narrator: That concludes another episode of "As the Nerd Turns."
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Ms. Morello: Chris, you must be so happy. You must feel just like Jackie Robinson when Larry Doby arrived.
Narrator: More like Robert Parish when Dennis Johnson showed up.
Chris: Who's Larry Doby?
Ms. Morello: He was the second black man in baseball, but he was taller than Jackie... and more... strapping. His strong shoulders and Nubian profile, his Cleveland Indians uniform complimented by the rich caramel color of his skin, and the way he swung his bat.
Narrator: Forget jungle fever, she's havin' a jungle seizure!
Narrator: More like Robert Parish when Dennis Johnson showed up.
Chris: Who's Larry Doby?
Ms. Morello: He was the second black man in baseball, but he was taller than Jackie... and more... strapping. His strong shoulders and Nubian profile, his Cleveland Indians uniform complimented by the rich caramel color of his skin, and the way he swung his bat.
Narrator: Forget jungle fever, she's havin' a jungle seizure!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Ms. Morello: [to Chris] After years of being alone and ostracized, you now have a soul brother! Somebody to talk jive with and to shoot dice with, to talk about being raised by MaDear with. Just seeing the two of you together would make your leaders like Dr. King and Uncle Remus proud.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Julius: I can't stop worryin' about this refund. I keep havin' these nightmares. The government's gonna take all we own and we have to end up livin' in the street.
Rochelle: That is not gonna happen.
Narrator: It happened to Redd Foxx.
Rochelle: That is not gonna happen.
Narrator: It happened to Redd Foxx.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: I changed my mind about the game.
Albert: I didn't really wanna go with you anyway!
Narrator: This is just like when Bobby Brown left New Edition.
Albert: I didn't really wanna go with you anyway!
Narrator: This is just like when Bobby Brown left New Edition.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: A tax refund check is like a bonus for broke people: a bonus which my mother accepted with grace and class.
Rochelle: Kiss my ass, Visa!
Narrator: Visa was actually the name of the lady who collected bills for MasterCard.
Rochelle: Kiss my ass, Visa!
Narrator: Visa was actually the name of the lady who collected bills for MasterCard.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Anyone who says money can't buy happiness never saw my mother with her IRS refund couch.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: What do you want me to say? We have a lot in common. He gets stuff that you don't.
Greg: Like what?
Narrator: Sickle cell anemia.
Greg: Like what?
Narrator: Sickle cell anemia.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: How can my life be much of a soap opera with no women involved?
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Ms. Morello was right. Hangin' out with Albert was cool, but I still felt bad about fightin' with Greg.
Caruso: There goes the neighborhood.
Albert: Hey, my dad's got an extra ticket to the Knicks game. He said I could bring somebody. You wanna go?
Chris: Are you kidding me? Heck yeah, I wanna go! Thanks, man.
Caruso: There goes the neighborhood.
Albert: Hey, my dad's got an extra ticket to the Knicks game. He said I could bring somebody. You wanna go?
Chris: Are you kidding me? Heck yeah, I wanna go! Thanks, man.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Ms. Morello: Who would possess the vulgar cultural background and raw, angry street talent to do something like this?
Narrator: I'll give you one guess, and it starts with Albert.
Narrator: I'll give you one guess, and it starts with Albert.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Now, eat the damn cereal!
Narrator: Eat The Damn Cereal, comin' soon from Kellogg's!
Narrator: Eat The Damn Cereal, comin' soon from Kellogg's!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: My dad wasn't the only one who was stressed because of that refund.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris