Frasier Quotes
Niles does not appreciate Roz teasing him when she finds out about his feelings for Daphne
Niles: Obviously you've never let someone you've grown to care deeply about get away.
Roz: Well, sure I have.
Niles: I'm not talking about when the migrant workers leave at the end of the picking season.
Niles: Obviously you've never let someone you've grown to care deeply about get away.
Roz: Well, sure I have.
Niles: I'm not talking about when the migrant workers leave at the end of the picking season.
TV Show: Frasier
Martin and Frasier are leaving the cottage
Martin: Well, come on, Frasier, let's go get a nice Sloppy joe. I'll pay for it.
Frasier: Something tells me I'll pay for it too.
Martin: Well, come on, Frasier, let's go get a nice Sloppy joe. I'll pay for it.
Frasier: Something tells me I'll pay for it too.
TV Show: Frasier
The message from the Walburts start Frasier and Niles arguing about who "that other one" refers to
Niles: This is absurd! Why don't we just call Allison up and ask her what she thinks is so strange about us? We can both get on an extension.
Frasier: (sarcastic) Better yet, why don't we just get on a bicycle built for two, ride over there and ask her what's so strange about us.
Niles: This is absurd! Why don't we just call Allison up and ask her what she thinks is so strange about us? We can both get on an extension.
Frasier: (sarcastic) Better yet, why don't we just get on a bicycle built for two, ride over there and ask her what's so strange about us.
TV Show: Frasier
Nina Duncan has phoned to announce that the Joaquín she will be bringing is her foster child
Niles: So, he's not the conductor of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic?
Frasier: Oh, you are so "that other one"!
Niles: So, he's not the conductor of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic?
Frasier: Oh, you are so "that other one"!
TV Show: Frasier
Niles tries to cover up the death of Baby by pretending she is tired from travelling
Mrs Latimer: You didn't take her with you to Africa, surely?
Niles: Well, she has family there.
Mrs Latimer: You didn't take her with you to Africa, surely?
Niles: Well, she has family there.
TV Show: Frasier
Carol Larkin has just suggested a party game of "Murder"
Mrs. Latimer: Oh, Martin, there you are! Come, hide with me. I know a little nook where no one will find us.
Martin: This game's a lot scarier than I thought!
Mrs. Latimer: Oh, Martin, there you are! Come, hide with me. I know a little nook where no one will find us.
Martin: This game's a lot scarier than I thought!
TV Show: Frasier
Daphne is in the middle of an online conversation with Donny, and asks Niles what he is saying now
Niles: Er, "I can't wait to come home and see my wittle Engwish cwumpet". Apparently he has some sort of typing impediment.
Niles: Er, "I can't wait to come home and see my wittle Engwish cwumpet". Apparently he has some sort of typing impediment.
TV Show: Frasier
As soon as Niles has left, Frasier decides that he must not be upstaged at the lunch on account of his IQ
Frasier: Niles will be sitting there rambling on with the geniuses about the cosmos, black holes, matter, antimatter, and I won't matter at all!
Frasier: Niles will be sitting there rambling on with the geniuses about the cosmos, black holes, matter, antimatter, and I won't matter at all!
TV Show: Frasier
Niles is trying to grow a moustache. So far it is barely visible
Niles: I grant you, it's at an early stage.
Frasier: What stage? Research and development?
Niles: I grant you, it's at an early stage.
Frasier: What stage? Research and development?
TV Show: Frasier
Roz has been flirting with Dr. Nora's producer, George, while Frasier declares war on Dr. Nora herself
Roz: You don't actually buy all this "no sex" stuff of hers, do you?
George: Yeah!
Roz: Well, it's WAR!
Roz: You don't actually buy all this "no sex" stuff of hers, do you?
George: Yeah!
Roz: Well, it's WAR!
TV Show: Frasier
Niles learns that Frasier had a date the previous evening, and expresses his condolences, assuming it went badly.
Niles: A brisk game of squash would be the best thing for you. I can't think of a better way to lift your spirits.
[Enter Cassandra]
Cassandra: Good morning.
Frasier: Keep thinking.
Niles: A brisk game of squash would be the best thing for you. I can't think of a better way to lift your spirits.
[Enter Cassandra]
Cassandra: Good morning.
Frasier: Keep thinking.
TV Show: Frasier
Frasier now has both Faye and Cassandra in the apartment, each unaware of the other's presence. Niles has only seen Cassandra.
Frasier: This is a disaster!
Niles: What is?
[Faye enters.]
Faye: Hi, Niles.
Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed!
Frasier: This is a disaster!
Niles: What is?
[Faye enters.]
Faye: Hi, Niles.
Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed!
TV Show: Frasier
Daphne tells Frasier about Niles' advice regarding her vision
Daphne: Unlike you, he believes in my visions. He knows I have a gift. (exit)
Frasier: Yes, and he's been trying to unwrap it for six years!
Daphne: Unlike you, he believes in my visions. He knows I have a gift. (exit)
Frasier: Yes, and he's been trying to unwrap it for six years!
TV Show: Frasier
Daphne tells Niles about her vision
Niles: [excited] I think I know who this person is.
Daphne: You do?
Niles: Yes.
Daphne: Well, I don't see how you could. I couldn't tell myself. He was standing in the shadows and I couldn't see his face. All I could make out was that he was wearing a red bow tie.
Niles: I don't have a... [realises] clue why anyone would wear such a thing to a wedding.
Niles: [excited] I think I know who this person is.
Daphne: You do?
Niles: Yes.
Daphne: Well, I don't see how you could. I couldn't tell myself. He was standing in the shadows and I couldn't see his face. All I could make out was that he was wearing a red bow tie.
Niles: I don't have a... [realises] clue why anyone would wear such a thing to a wedding.
TV Show: Frasier
Frasier wants to know what happened to his favourite scented candle in the bathroom
Daphne: I'm going to let my attorney handle this one.
Donny: I'm sorry, Frasier, you know. I guess after a little champagne we got into the mood, and into the nude, and into the tub. And don't worry; we'll replace the candle.
Frasier: If only you could replace the image.
Daphne: I'm going to let my attorney handle this one.
Donny: I'm sorry, Frasier, you know. I guess after a little champagne we got into the mood, and into the nude, and into the tub. And don't worry; we'll replace the candle.
Frasier: If only you could replace the image.
TV Show: Frasier
Kit is out smoking on Frasier's balcony, and coughing at intervals
Niles: She's so free, so spontaneous. She has breathed new life into me.
Frasier: You may have to return the favour.
Niles: She's so free, so spontaneous. She has breathed new life into me.
Frasier: You may have to return the favour.
TV Show: Frasier
Martin has just met Mia, and is shocked at how much she resembles his late wife. She seems to like the cabin
Mia: I feel like I'm in Heaven.
Martin: I'm starting to feel that way myself.
Mia: I feel like I'm in Heaven.
Martin: I'm starting to feel that way myself.
TV Show: Frasier
Frasier: Frankly, I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours.
Niles: It is not a phobia! I have a healthy fear of our natural predators. It's us versus them, and frankly, I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on!
Niles: It is not a phobia! I have a healthy fear of our natural predators. It's us versus them, and frankly, I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on!
TV Show: Frasier
Niles: Frasier, do you remember the time the Kreizel brothers tied me to their Great Dane and lobbed meatballs down their gravel driveway?
Frasier: I told you, Niles: I would have helped you, but their sister was holding me down.
Frasier: I told you, Niles: I would have helped you, but their sister was holding me down.
TV Show: Frasier
Niles: [about his date] She was... a cat person. She brought her cat on our date. Well, she had good reason: it was Mr. Waggles' birthday. Actually, his birthday party. Actually, his surprise birthday party!
TV Show: Frasier
Frasier is not happy that Martin found the prank phonecall so amusing
Martin: D'you think you could get me a tape of the show?
Frasier: What on earth for?
Martin: How often d'you get to hear your son on the radio?
Frasier: (glares at him) I'm on the radio EVERY DAY!
Martin: D'you think you could get me a tape of the show?
Frasier: What on earth for?
Martin: How often d'you get to hear your son on the radio?
Frasier: (glares at him) I'm on the radio EVERY DAY!
TV Show: Frasier
Martin has pointed out to his sons that bullies have always targeted them because they acted like they were above everyone else
Frasier: Daphne, tell me: do you think we're snobby, superior and condescending?
Daphne: That's it! I'm getting me door soundproofed!
Frasier: Daphne, tell me: do you think we're snobby, superior and condescending?
Daphne: That's it! I'm getting me door soundproofed!
TV Show: Frasier
Roz has arrived in Café Nervosa, and seen Poppy at another table with some other KACL workers
Roz: I see Poppy's having a little party.
Frasier: That is not a party; that's a hostage situation.
Roz: I see Poppy's having a little party.
Frasier: That is not a party; that's a hostage situation.
TV Show: Frasier
The news about Frasier's prospective new arts show starts an argument with Niles
Niles: You conniving copy-cat! You have to have whatever I have.
Frasier: I do not have what you have; my audience is twice as large as yours is!
Niles: Oh well, at least my audience can read!
Frasier: How dare you review my audience!
Niles: You conniving copy-cat! You have to have whatever I have.
Frasier: I do not have what you have; my audience is twice as large as yours is!
Niles: Oh well, at least my audience can read!
Frasier: How dare you review my audience!
TV Show: Frasier
Daphne: I went to all sorts of funerals as a child. My uncle's a mortician. Lovely man. He's offered to do my makeup for the wedding.
Frasier: I can just hear the whispers now. "Did you see the bride? Very lifelike."
Frasier: I can just hear the whispers now. "Did you see the bride? Very lifelike."
TV Show: Frasier
Frasier: We've got to plan for it. We must all be prepared when the cold hand of death comes knocking on our door.
[Someone knocks at the door.]
Frasier: Would you get that?
Niles: I most certainly will not.
[Someone knocks at the door.]
Frasier: Would you get that?
Niles: I most certainly will not.
TV Show: Frasier
Regan has admitted that her name is from a treacherous daughter in King Lear, which makes it less than flattering
Regan: I'm sorry, I have some issues with my father.
Enter Martin, who is trying to match them up
Martin: Excuse me again.
Frasier: I have no idea what that would be like(!)
Regan: I'm sorry, I have some issues with my father.
Enter Martin, who is trying to match them up
Martin: Excuse me again.
Frasier: I have no idea what that would be like(!)
TV Show: Frasier
Roz is trying to persuade Frasier to buy tickets for a charity ball
Roz: Come on, it's for a good cause. They provide disaster relief.
Enter Poppy
Poppy: Hi, partners!
Frasier: How soon can they get here?
Roz: Come on, it's for a good cause. They provide disaster relief.
Enter Poppy
Poppy: Hi, partners!
Frasier: How soon can they get here?
TV Show: Frasier