Full House Quotes
D.J. Tanner: [to Danny] Dad, you don't understand. Kimmy and I have always been in the same class. Now I'm stuck in a room full of eggheads. They're worse than eggheads, they're omelette-heads.
TV Show: Full House
Danny Tanner: Michelle is getting an academic foundation that's going to carry her through grades K through 12, through college, through Harvard law school. Jess, you have robbed our nation of one of the finest legal minds the supreme court has ever known.
Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: I gotta go potty.
Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: I gotta go potty.
TV Show: Full House
Joseph 'Joey' Gladstone: Danny, you don't have to be hip and cool. You're spick and span.
TV Show: Full House
Soapy: It may interest to you to know, my good man, that I and the minutest coin of the realm are total strangers.
Waiter: How's that?
Soapy: I said I was broke!
Waiter: How's that?
Soapy: I said I was broke!
TV Show: Full House
Steph: [after Danny, Jesse and Joey have cleaned the house] Grandma Irene, does this mean hell is freezing over?
TV Show: Full House
Danny: Let's go mom, your bags are in the cab, the meter's running.
Claire: The baby's sleeping like a baby.
Claire: The baby's sleeping like a baby.
TV Show: Full House
DJ: Rule #1, never touch my stuff. You should be taking notes. Rule #2, never set foot....on my half of the room.
Stephanie: How do I get outta here?
DJ: Easy, you jump out the window and climb down the tree.
Stephanie: I don't think so.
DJ: Suit yourself!
Stephanie: I'll find a way out.
Stephanie: How do I get outta here?
DJ: Easy, you jump out the window and climb down the tree.
Stephanie: I don't think so.
DJ: Suit yourself!
Stephanie: I'll find a way out.
TV Show: Full House
Jesse: Now you can have ice cream and chocolate milk, no cookies.
Stephanie: Boy are you strict!
Stephanie: Boy are you strict!
TV Show: Full House
Stephanie: Okay, wanna listen to the pledge? I pledge allegience to the flag of some states of America.
D.J.: Let me tuck you in, very tight.
Stephanie: And to the public which understands, with God, and Liberty, I'm dead meat!
D.J.: Let me tuck you in, very tight.
Stephanie: And to the public which understands, with God, and Liberty, I'm dead meat!
TV Show: Full House
Stephanie: (after Danny, Jesse and Joey have cleaned the house) Grandma Irene, does this mean hell is freezing over?
TV Show: Full House
Danny: Hold on, Steph, I'm gonna call the cable company.
Stephanie: You'll get a busy signal....fix it!
Jesse: I'm just smiling away like I'm Nancy Reagan.
Stephanie: You'll get a busy signal....fix it!
Jesse: I'm just smiling away like I'm Nancy Reagan.
TV Show: Full House
Danny: (cuts the turkey) Scratch the white meat. We have dark meat and really dark meat.
TV Show: Full House
Jesse: Don't "huh" me. You waltz in here 25 minutes late and expect sympathy? Ha!
Danny: I didn't know you...
Jesse: I have cleaned the house, and washed and ironed your clothes, and ran a daycare center for socially deviant munchkins, and missed Oprah. Ran this one to a ballet lesson, this one to a dentist. No cavities, thank you very much. Do you realize I have slaved over a hot stove so you could have a hot meal when you come home?! Huh?! Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
Danny: Jesse, I'm sorry.
Jesse: "Sorry". "Sorry". "Sorry" doesn't change the fact that my chicken tetrazzini is ruined! Ruined! It's all dried out. But do you have the common courtesy to call to say you're going to be 25 minutes late?! NO! Well, I am not an animal. Oh, my God. What's happening to me? I'm turning into June Cleaver.
Danny: I didn't know you...
Jesse: I have cleaned the house, and washed and ironed your clothes, and ran a daycare center for socially deviant munchkins, and missed Oprah. Ran this one to a ballet lesson, this one to a dentist. No cavities, thank you very much. Do you realize I have slaved over a hot stove so you could have a hot meal when you come home?! Huh?! Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
Danny: Jesse, I'm sorry.
Jesse: "Sorry". "Sorry". "Sorry" doesn't change the fact that my chicken tetrazzini is ruined! Ruined! It's all dried out. But do you have the common courtesy to call to say you're going to be 25 minutes late?! NO! Well, I am not an animal. Oh, my God. What's happening to me? I'm turning into June Cleaver.
TV Show: Full House
Danny: (To Michelle) What does Mr. Car say?...You're right, he doesn't say anything, because he's dead...
TV Show: Full House
Jesse: Now, I bet you're gettin' tired of all that strained baby food, now, I've got you a corned beef sandwich with a big fat kosher pickle, now what do you want on the side, potato salad or coleslaw? Just the pickle, OK.
Jesse: It's still warm!
Jesse: It's still warm!
TV Show: Full House
Steve: Hey, does anybody else want another pickle?
DJ: Oh, we're out of pickles.
Kimmy: I'll get you some, if there are no pickles at my house, I'll take a cab to the market. Bye Stevie!
Steve: OK, see you later, Kammy!
DJ: That's Kimmy!
Kimmy: Hey, if it's Kammy to him, it's Kammy to me!
DJ: Oh, we're out of pickles.
Kimmy: I'll get you some, if there are no pickles at my house, I'll take a cab to the market. Bye Stevie!
Steve: OK, see you later, Kammy!
DJ: That's Kimmy!
Kimmy: Hey, if it's Kammy to him, it's Kammy to me!
TV Show: Full House
Rebecca: Dustin? You would name our child Dustin?
Jesse: Yeah, you got a better name?
Rebecca: I sure do... Emily.
Jesse: No son of ours is gonna be named Emily.
Rebecca: Our daughter's name is Emily. Our son's name is Prescott.
Jesse: Prescott? You might as well name him Emily. Our son is gonna be called Dustin.
Rebecca: Prescott.
Jesse: Dustin!
Rebecca: Prescott!
Jesse: Dust... When did we have a kid?
Jesse: Yeah, you got a better name?
Rebecca: I sure do... Emily.
Jesse: No son of ours is gonna be named Emily.
Rebecca: Our daughter's name is Emily. Our son's name is Prescott.
Jesse: Prescott? You might as well name him Emily. Our son is gonna be called Dustin.
Rebecca: Prescott.
Jesse: Dustin!
Rebecca: Prescott!
Jesse: Dust... When did we have a kid?
TV Show: Full House
Rebecca: Well, we better get going. You don't wanna miss your plane.
Connie: You're right, it might accidentally take off on time. Come on, Howie, wake up. It's time to go.
Michelle: Howie, no go.
Danny: Howie, yes go. Howie go back home.
Michelle: Me go.
Danny: [imitates an Indian] No, little Kemo Sabe. No can go to Nebraska. Take many moons.
Connie: You're right, it might accidentally take off on time. Come on, Howie, wake up. It's time to go.
Michelle: Howie, no go.
Danny: Howie, yes go. Howie go back home.
Michelle: Me go.
Danny: [imitates an Indian] No, little Kemo Sabe. No can go to Nebraska. Take many moons.
TV Show: Full House
Rebecca: I'm guessing they're no mints on the pillows.
Jesse: No, but there's a Lifesaver stuck to the lamp shade.
Jesse: No, but there's a Lifesaver stuck to the lamp shade.
TV Show: Full House
Danny: I've just been notified that our family dog Comet is missing.
Stephanie: (runs up to Danny) Dad, Comet is missing.
Danny: I've just been notified again.
Stephanie: (runs up to Danny) Dad, Comet is missing.
Danny: I've just been notified again.
TV Show: Full House
Danny: Do you have any idea what your daughter's been up to?
Claire: Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?
Claire: Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?
TV Show: Full House
Danny: When children seem the least lovable, it means they need love the most.
Claire: Do you always talk like a fortune cookie?
Danny: Actually, it was the Thought for the Day on my Ziggy desk calendar.
Claire: Do you always talk like a fortune cookie?
Danny: Actually, it was the Thought for the Day on my Ziggy desk calendar.
TV Show: Full House
Danny: Steph, let me put it this way. Before it can soar like an eagle, the young baby bird must stumble and fall, and spend two whole weeks grounded in the nest with no TV.
Stephanie: Hey, is that from your Ziggy calendar?
Danny: No, but I'm thinking of submitting it.
Stephanie: Hey, is that from your Ziggy calendar?
Danny: No, but I'm thinking of submitting it.
TV Show: Full House
Jesse: Have mercy!
Jesse: Talk to me. (His telephone greeting)
Jesse: Not the hair!
Joey: Cut it out! (accompanied by hand motions)
D.J.: Oh, Mylanta!
Stephanie: Well, pin a rose on your nose.
Stephanie: How rude.
Michelle: Aw, nuts!
Michelle: You got it, dude.
Michelle: You're in big trouble, mister!
Michelle: No way, José.
Michelle: Don't call me Squirt.
Michelle: Oh, please!
Michelle: DUH!
Jesse: Talk to me. (His telephone greeting)
Jesse: Not the hair!
Joey: Cut it out! (accompanied by hand motions)
D.J.: Oh, Mylanta!
Stephanie: Well, pin a rose on your nose.
Stephanie: How rude.
Michelle: Aw, nuts!
Michelle: You got it, dude.
Michelle: You're in big trouble, mister!
Michelle: No way, José.
Michelle: Don't call me Squirt.
Michelle: Oh, please!
Michelle: DUH!
TV Show: Full House