Futurama Quotes
Fry: I'm Santa Claus!
Hermes: No, I'm Santa Claus!
Amy: We're also Santa Claus!
Dr. Zoidberg: And I'm his friend Jesus.
Mayor: You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?
Hermes: No, I'm Santa Claus!
Amy: We're also Santa Claus!
Dr. Zoidberg: And I'm his friend Jesus.
Mayor: You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?
TV Show: Futurama
Young Fry: Ah, the Breakfast Club soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff!
TV Show: Futurama
Free Waterfall Sr.: If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right.
TV Show: Futurama
Hyperchicken: Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.
Bender: Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you have just got me the death penalty?
Hyperchicken: Well I'da done better, but it's plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.
Bender: Oh yeah, good luck with that.
[Bender leaves the room, revealing that the Hyperchicken is the one in jail.]
Bender: Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you have just got me the death penalty?
Hyperchicken: Well I'da done better, but it's plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.
Bender: Oh yeah, good luck with that.
[Bender leaves the room, revealing that the Hyperchicken is the one in jail.]
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: That's right, baby. I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!
Angleyne: Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.
Bender: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!
Angleyne: Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.
Bender: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.
Fry: I wish! It's a nickel.
Fry: I wish! It's a nickel.
TV Show: Futurama
Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompterHe forgot how you say that letter that's shaped like a man wearing a hat.
Linda: It's a T. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!
Linda: It's a T. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: [to the Big Brain] I'm here to kick your ass!
Big Brain: Wishful thinking! We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses!
Big Brain: Wishful thinking! We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses!
TV Show: Futurama
Calculon: Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
TV Show: Futurama
Amy: What are their names?
Bender: Kids have names?
Orphan: My name is Nina, this is Albert—
Bender: —And from now on you're all named Bender Jr.
Bender: Kids have names?
Orphan: My name is Nina, this is Albert—
Bender: —And from now on you're all named Bender Jr.
TV Show: Futurama
Orphan: Daddy Bender, we're hungry.
Bender: What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. [pause] Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
Orphan: Can we have Bender Burgers again?
Bender: No! The cat shelter's on to me.
Bender: What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. [pause] Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
Orphan: Can we have Bender Burgers again?
Bender: No! The cat shelter's on to me.
TV Show: Futurama
Martian: I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
Zapp Brannigan: Take me to your leader!
Martian: Moving along...
Zapp Brannigan: Take me to your leader!
Martian: Moving along...
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.
Farnsworth: You're going to do his laundry?
Farnsworth: You're going to do his laundry?
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas.
Hermes: I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day.
Professor Farnsworth: Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems.
Hermes: I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day.
Professor Farnsworth: Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems.
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court!
[Farnsworth presses a button, revealing an arsenal of doomsday weapons.]
Professor Farnsworth: I suppose I could part with one and still be feared…
[Farnsworth presses a button, revealing an arsenal of doomsday weapons.]
Professor Farnsworth: I suppose I could part with one and still be feared…
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: Burn on that old crew! The only things they did better than us were suck and die.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.
Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk!
Leela: How much did you make me?
Bender: One hundred dollars.
Leela: How much did you make me?
Bender: One hundred dollars.
TV Show: Futurama
[Leela is signing autographs.]
Leela: Who am I making this out to?
Girl: Ummm…to eBay?
Leela: That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"?
Leela: Who am I making this out to?
Girl: Ummm…to eBay?
Leela: That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"?
TV Show: Futurama
High Priest: Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey.
Priests: [chanting] Free us from thought and responsibility.
High Priest: We shall read things off you.
Priests: [chanting] Then do them.
High Priest: Your words guide us.
Priests: [chanting] We're dumb.
Priests: [chanting] Free us from thought and responsibility.
High Priest: We shall read things off you.
Priests: [chanting] Then do them.
High Priest: Your words guide us.
Priests: [chanting] We're dumb.
TV Show: Futurama