Glee Quotes
Jacob: Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with?
Finn: Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.
Rachel: We've been dating all summer.
Finn: Rachel's what you'd call a controlist.
Rachel: I...I'm controlling. [to Finn] "Controlist" isn't a word.
Finn: Oh.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?
Finn: Yes! [Rachel looks at Finn] That was out loud, wasn't it?
Finn: Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.
Rachel: We've been dating all summer.
Finn: Rachel's what you'd call a controlist.
Rachel: I...I'm controlling. [to Finn] "Controlist" isn't a word.
Finn: Oh.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?
Finn: Yes! [Rachel looks at Finn] That was out loud, wasn't it?
TV Show: Glee
Jacob: Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your glee club song selection sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod?
Will: Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock.
Jacob: 100% gay.
Will: Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock.
Jacob: 100% gay.
TV Show: Glee
Jacob: Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy.
Puck: It's true. It was the responsible thing to do.
Jacob: Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression because you're not over Miss Fabray? [Puck blocks the camera's view.]
Puck: It's true. It was the responsible thing to do.
Jacob: Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression because you're not over Miss Fabray? [Puck blocks the camera's view.]
TV Show: Glee
Jacob: What can you say about the rumors that the two of you are dating?
Tina: Because we’re both Asian? That’s racist!
Mike: Totally racist!
Tina: Because we’re both Asian? That’s racist!
Mike: Totally racist!
TV Show: Glee
Jacob: How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child?
Quinn: Well, I'm happy to be back and ready to start fresh. And.. I'm a lot less hormonal, so there's not really any more crying.
Jacob: [noticing Santana's boob job] How was YOUR summer?
Santana: My eyes are up here, Jewfro. And it was uneventful.
Brittany: People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
Quinn: Well, I'm happy to be back and ready to start fresh. And.. I'm a lot less hormonal, so there's not really any more crying.
Jacob: [noticing Santana's boob job] How was YOUR summer?
Santana: My eyes are up here, Jewfro. And it was uneventful.
Brittany: People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
TV Show: Glee
Jacob: Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping?
Will: Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap?
Will: Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap?
TV Show: Glee
Jacob: When will you glee clubbers ...
Kurt: I don't know.
Jacob: ... accept the fact that people hate you ...
Kurt: Kiss it, Jacob.
Jacob: ... and think you're nothing but a glorified ...
Kurt: Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?
Kurt: You know what Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barkaloungers and log onto the Internet and start tearing people down, does it. But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say TO MY FACE!!
Azimio: [throws slushie in Kurt's face] Welcome back, Lady!
Kurt: [to Jacob] I don't suppose you could just cut out that last part, is there?
Kurt: I don't know.
Jacob: ... accept the fact that people hate you ...
Kurt: Kiss it, Jacob.
Jacob: ... and think you're nothing but a glorified ...
Kurt: Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?
Kurt: You know what Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barkaloungers and log onto the Internet and start tearing people down, does it. But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say TO MY FACE!!
Azimio: [throws slushie in Kurt's face] Welcome back, Lady!
Kurt: [to Jacob] I don't suppose you could just cut out that last part, is there?
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: We get it Mr. Schue. Everyone still hates us. So what? So we're plankton on the high school food chain. The only difference now is that none of us really care.
TV Show: Glee
Sue: See this? It's a court summons—child endangerment—'cause there's been a line of would-be Cheerios out there since late July. I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. One girl ate a pigeon, several others started worshiping a possum carcass as their lord.
TV Show: Glee
Sue: Cut my budget? You can't cut my budget without express permission of the president of the Federal Reserve!
Figgins: Oh, Sue, I think you can manage a sixth national title without confetti cannons!
Sue: Do you think your kids can manage life without their daddy?
Figgins: Oh, Sue, I think you can manage a sixth national title without confetti cannons!
Sue: Do you think your kids can manage life without their daddy?
TV Show: Glee
Finn: Hey, Sam. My name's Finn. This here's Artie.
Sam: Uh, I know who you are. You're the quarterback.
Finn: Exactly. Which makes me VERY cool.
Sam: Uh, I know who you are. You're the quarterback.
Finn: Exactly. Which makes me VERY cool.
TV Show: Glee
Puck: Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?
Sam: I don't know, I've never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?
Finn: [aside to Artie] I like this kid.
Artie: [to Finn] I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go.
Sam: I don't know, I've never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?
Finn: [aside to Artie] I like this kid.
Artie: [to Finn] I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: You did this to me! You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!
Quinn: You have surgery when you get your appendix out. You got a BOOB JOB.
Santana: Yup. Sure did. [slaps Quinn across face]
Quinn: You can't hit me!
Santana: Oh, sure I can. Unless you got yourself knocked up again. Slut.
Quinn: You have surgery when you get your appendix out. You got a BOOB JOB.
Santana: Yup. Sure did. [slaps Quinn across face]
Quinn: You can't hit me!
Santana: Oh, sure I can. Unless you got yourself knocked up again. Slut.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: Stop the violence.
Will: Hey! Hey! Hey! [holding Quinn and Santana apart] What is this? What happened to being a family?
Santana: Oh, please! She has a family! She's a mother!
Quinn: [Will holds her back] Walk away and tight up your pony before you get to class!
Will: Hey! Hey! Hey! [holding Quinn and Santana apart] What is this? What happened to being a family?
Santana: Oh, please! She has a family! She's a mother!
Quinn: [Will holds her back] Walk away and tight up your pony before you get to class!
TV Show: Glee
Sue: First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse-sin against nature. Number two, I'm sure you're used to Hillbilly parents yelping adulation at you as they attempt to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles, but you're in my house now, Beiste. No one comes into my house and steals from me.
Beiste: Do not get up in a panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelet.
Sue: [Whispering] That doesn't make any sense.
Beiste: Do not get up in a panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelet.
Sue: [Whispering] That doesn't make any sense.
TV Show: Glee
Will: If we want to go to Nationals, if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound!
TV Show: Glee
Finn: [in voice-over] I was really excited about my Glee Club recruit poster design. I made it super masculine just like these pamphlets I saw some Army guys passing out at a daycare center. Then I heard something. [Finn hears a student singing in the shower] It was the new transfer kid. I saw him tapping his foot when we were busting it out in the courtyard the other day. I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked.
TV Show: Glee
Beiste: All right, guys, it's a pizza party. Dig in. Everyone has to eat at least four slices. Let's go! And when you're done, full pads out on the field. We're doing wind sprints. And the first ten to puke are off the team.
TV Show: Glee
Artie: [About Tina] She dumped me for Mike Chang. They fell in love over the summer at...Asian Camp. They were counselors, in charge of teaching all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts.
Finn: So, what did Tina say when she broke up with you?
Tina: [In Artie's flashback] I think you're great, Artie, but you're a terrible boyfriend. You ignored me for weeks this summer!
Artie: I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman!
Tina: And then when we did get together, all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs.
Finn: So, what did Tina say when she broke up with you?
Tina: [In Artie's flashback] I think you're great, Artie, but you're a terrible boyfriend. You ignored me for weeks this summer!
Artie: I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman!
Tina: And then when we did get together, all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I really want to touch her boobs.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I didn't send her to an active crack house. Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?
Mike: The Asian community is very tight.
Mike: The Asian community is very tight.
TV Show: Glee