Glee Quotes
Mercedes: We won Sectionals two years in a row and according to everyone at this school, we still suck.
TV Show: Glee
Mike: I'm pretty sure they just added food coloring to real slush in the parking lot.
Lauren: You can eat that you know.
Lauren: You can eat that you know.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I can't believe that teacher let those students speak to us like that.
Puck: I can't believe she threw a shoe at us.
Puck: I can't believe she threw a shoe at us.
TV Show: Glee
Artie: Brittany still believes in Santa Claus.
Mercedes: (holds in a laugh) You cannot be serious.
Sam: Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers. This is kind of a pattern.
Quinn: She's gonna find out sooner or later.
Rachel: (looking at Finn)
Finn: (decorating the tree)
Rachel: Do you mind, um, meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at four?
Finn: Sure.
Lauren: Someone's gotta break the news to her.
Puck: Uh uh. Not me. I mean I'm cruel and all but that's just hardcore.
Artie: That's my point. Hear me out. Remember how excited you get when you would think about Santa Claus? How awesome it was? Christmas was the highlight of the year. Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world magical for a little longer?
Mike: How?
Artie: I got it all figured out.
Mercedes: (holds in a laugh) You cannot be serious.
Sam: Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers. This is kind of a pattern.
Quinn: She's gonna find out sooner or later.
Rachel: (looking at Finn)
Finn: (decorating the tree)
Rachel: Do you mind, um, meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at four?
Finn: Sure.
Lauren: Someone's gotta break the news to her.
Puck: Uh uh. Not me. I mean I'm cruel and all but that's just hardcore.
Artie: That's my point. Hear me out. Remember how excited you get when you would think about Santa Claus? How awesome it was? Christmas was the highlight of the year. Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world magical for a little longer?
Mike: How?
Artie: I got it all figured out.
TV Show: Glee
Mr. Schuester: Who's that? Someone special?
Kurt: Just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him and he's actually gay. I call that progress.
Kurt: Just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him and he's actually gay. I call that progress.
TV Show: Glee
Blaine: (to Kurt) I need you to sing with me, well rehearse with me. I got a gig singing Baby it's Cold Outside in the the King's Island Christmas Spectacular.
Kurt: Ah a personal favorite! Too bad they'd never let us sing it together... I mean as two artists.
Kurt: Ah a personal favorite! Too bad they'd never let us sing it together... I mean as two artists.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: Go Mercedes, go Mercedes, go! (smiles)
Mercedes: (sitting on Santa's lap) I've been a very good girl, Santa. I want a pony and a dolly that laughs and cries and...one of us smells like McDonald's.
Lauren: (sitting on Santa's lap) I want Puckerman to love me. He's a fox. And I want sweet potato fries.
Santana: (sitting on Santa's lap) I want bling. I can't be more specific than that. Okay hold up. Don't tell that's a roll of Certs in your pocket. (gets off)
Artie: (nodding)
Quinn: (sitting on Santa's lap) Do you have anything for stretch marks?
Sam: (sitting on Santa's lap) Chapstick. Lots of Chapstick.
Mike: (sitting on Santa's lap) I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.
Tina: (sitting on Santa's lap) When does Asian Santa arrive?
Elf Lady: Next.
Brittany: (to Elf Lady) Just know, you have rights.
Santa: Ho, ho, ho.
Brittany: (sits on Santa's lap)
Santa: What's your name?
Brittany: Brittany. You've gotten really tan.
Santa: That's because in the North Pole there is a hole in the ozone.
Brittany: (laughs) You're amazing. I know you're really busy so I only want one thing for Christmas. (points to Artie) Do you see my boyfriend over there?
Artie: (waves)
Brittany': For Christmas, I want him to be able to walk. You can do that, can't you Santa?
Artie: (frowns)
Santa: (turns to Artie)
Artie: (shakes his head no)
Santa: Um...sure. I'm on it.
Brittany: Thank you Santa.
Artie: Now we're screwed.
Brittany: (hugs Santa)
Mercedes: (sitting on Santa's lap) I've been a very good girl, Santa. I want a pony and a dolly that laughs and cries and...one of us smells like McDonald's.
Lauren: (sitting on Santa's lap) I want Puckerman to love me. He's a fox. And I want sweet potato fries.
Santana: (sitting on Santa's lap) I want bling. I can't be more specific than that. Okay hold up. Don't tell that's a roll of Certs in your pocket. (gets off)
Artie: (nodding)
Quinn: (sitting on Santa's lap) Do you have anything for stretch marks?
Sam: (sitting on Santa's lap) Chapstick. Lots of Chapstick.
Mike: (sitting on Santa's lap) I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.
Tina: (sitting on Santa's lap) When does Asian Santa arrive?
Elf Lady: Next.
Brittany: (to Elf Lady) Just know, you have rights.
Santa: Ho, ho, ho.
Brittany: (sits on Santa's lap)
Santa: What's your name?
Brittany: Brittany. You've gotten really tan.
Santa: That's because in the North Pole there is a hole in the ozone.
Brittany: (laughs) You're amazing. I know you're really busy so I only want one thing for Christmas. (points to Artie) Do you see my boyfriend over there?
Artie: (waves)
Brittany': For Christmas, I want him to be able to walk. You can do that, can't you Santa?
Artie: (frowns)
Santa: (turns to Artie)
Artie: (shakes his head no)
Santa: Um...sure. I'm on it.
Brittany: Thank you Santa.
Artie: Now we're screwed.
Brittany: (hugs Santa)
TV Show: Glee
Sue: I'm going to stop you right there! Why are you wearing that hat?
Lauren: Because it's Christmas, and it's fun.
Sue: No, it's offensive. You're wearing a Santa Claus hat, and yet you're not handing me any gifts. I need gifts.
Lauren: You want my hat?
Sue: It's a start.
Lauren: Because it's Christmas, and it's fun.
Sue: No, it's offensive. You're wearing a Santa Claus hat, and yet you're not handing me any gifts. I need gifts.
Lauren: You want my hat?
Sue: It's a start.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I'm very specific when I give a gift. You don't know how many kittens I gave away because they just weren't right.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Whether it's heart attack or heartbreak, just like Broadway, the show must go on.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: Can't you see how screwed up I am about this? I've had two girlfriends and both have cheated on me.
TV Show: Glee
Quinn: I can't believe I'm doing this. I look horrible with short hair.
Tina: Shut up. With your bone structure, you could totally pull off a Rosemary's Baby look. I'm going to look like Jackie Chan.
Tina: Shut up. With your bone structure, you could totally pull off a Rosemary's Baby look. I'm going to look like Jackie Chan.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: So how much did we raise?
Puck: $210 bucks and that's after my cut.
Finn: (frowns)
Puck: I'm kidding.
Rachel: Now that you're divorced and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy, I guess you'll be spending Christmas alone.
Will: Yes Rachel, I am.
Rachel: Well I know how painful being alone can be so if you want you can come over to my house. We're going to eat Chinese food and watch the Main Event.
Will: Well thanks Rachel but I think I'm going to pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.
Puck: $210 bucks and that's after my cut.
Finn: (frowns)
Puck: I'm kidding.
Rachel: Now that you're divorced and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy, I guess you'll be spending Christmas alone.
Will: Yes Rachel, I am.
Rachel: Well I know how painful being alone can be so if you want you can come over to my house. We're going to eat Chinese food and watch the Main Event.
Will: Well thanks Rachel but I think I'm going to pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.
TV Show: Glee
Tina: Artie.
Artie: (standing up with machines supporting his legs and his hands gripping on canes)
Brittany: (gasps in shock)
Artie: (standing up with machines supporting his legs and his hands gripping on canes)
Brittany: (gasps in shock)
TV Show: Glee
Artie: It's called a ReWalk. Some guy in Israel invented it. I can't use it all the time but...check me out. (slowly takes a few steps then stops)
Quinn: Where did you get it?
Quinn: Where did you get it?
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: (wheeling Artie to her living room)(voiceover) We went home and it was sitting under my Christmas tree.
TV Show: Glee
Sam: How the hell did you afford that thing?
Brittany: I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.
Artie: (turns to Santana) I assumed her dad got it for me but he has no idea. He went to take a long poop and then it was there.
Rachel: So if no one knew who bought it for you then-
Brittany: Santa brought it.
Mercedes: Santa.
Artie: (nods) Santa.
Quinn: A real Christmas miracle.
Coach Beiste': (watching and smiling)
Brittany: I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.
Artie: (turns to Santana) I assumed her dad got it for me but he has no idea. He went to take a long poop and then it was there.
Rachel: So if no one knew who bought it for you then-
Brittany: Santa brought it.
Mercedes: Santa.
Artie: (nods) Santa.
Quinn: A real Christmas miracle.
Coach Beiste': (watching and smiling)
TV Show: Glee
Puck: (to Finn) We used to be best friends...before I got your girlfriend pregnant and then made out with your other girlfriend.
TV Show: Glee