Glee Quotes
Brittany: (after Rachel demands her money back) My uncle lost his job and his goat was going hungry, so I spent it on food for the goat. I mean, sort of. The goat just ate the money.
TV Show: Glee
Puck: [about Sam dressed like Justin Bieber] That haircut makes your mouth look even bigger.
Sue: Shh. Let her speak.
Sue: Shh. Let her speak.
TV Show: Glee
Mercedes: [after seeing the guys walk in looking like Justin Bieber] Sweet Jesus, who bought tickets to crazy town?
TV Show: Glee
Santana: Despite the fact that your mouth-to-face ratio is way off, you still somehow manage to be cute. But make no mistake. Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or moisten an enormous stamp for a lazy giant, you take one step closer to everyone seeing that you are actually a dork.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my rib cage, you get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can’t mess with Sam Evans. And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python.
TV Show: Glee
Sam: That's my James Earl Jones impression.
Santana: That is offensive. He shot Martin Luther King.
Santana: That is offensive. He shot Martin Luther King.
TV Show: Glee
Lauren: If I was a country, my flag would be a big fist giving the rest of the world the finger.
TV Show: Glee
Puck: Can I touch your knockers now?
Lauren: Only if you wanna lose your hand. But you're on your way.
Lauren: Only if you wanna lose your hand. But you're on your way.
TV Show: Glee
Sue: If I hear one song from that classic rock outfit journey, I will start pulling catheters.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: My carousel horse sweater should make me look like an institutionalized toddler, but no. I look hot and smart. I feel like Michelle Obama.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: Listen, Rachel. I'm gonna give you some tough love right now. You're not a trendsender. When people look at you, they don't see what you're wearing, they see a cat getting its temperature taken, and then they hear it screaming.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: As our team leader and arbiter of all that is good, I must say: I don't think that song is good enough for Regionals.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: (after talking to Rachel about her confidence) You know, she may be making a comeback. (walks away)
Rachel: (smiles softly)
Rachel: (smiles softly)
TV Show: Glee
Principal Figgins: Why, just this week, we've had five suspensions for intoxication on school grounds.
Student: Figgins, you rock! [lifts his shirt] Yeah man!
Principal Figgins: Six suspensions.
Student: Figgins, you rock! [lifts his shirt] Yeah man!
Principal Figgins: Six suspensions.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: [talking on her cellphone] It sounds awful. Is anyone even going?
Brittany: [walks next to Santana and holds out her cellphone] Let me find out. [dials Artie] Did you hear?
Artie: [on his cellphone] Yes. Mercedes just told me.
Mercedes: [pushing Artie's wheelchair] Tell them I'll go if they go.
Artie: Tell them yourselves. I ain't no Pony Express.
Mercedes: [rolls her eyes and turns on her headset] You're going, right?
Santana: Only if there's liquor. Because a Rachel Berry house party is not something I can do sober.
Brittany: But it's Alcohol Awareness week.
Santana: Precisely and I'm aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let's ask Puckerman. [dials Puck]
Puck: [on his cellphone] Go for Puck.
Santana: Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. Can your friends score us some wine coolers?
Puck: No, but his I.D. can.
Brittany: [walks next to Santana and holds out her cellphone] Let me find out. [dials Artie] Did you hear?
Artie: [on his cellphone] Yes. Mercedes just told me.
Mercedes: [pushing Artie's wheelchair] Tell them I'll go if they go.
Artie: Tell them yourselves. I ain't no Pony Express.
Mercedes: [rolls her eyes and turns on her headset] You're going, right?
Santana: Only if there's liquor. Because a Rachel Berry house party is not something I can do sober.
Brittany: But it's Alcohol Awareness week.
Santana: Precisely and I'm aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let's ask Puckerman. [dials Puck]
Puck: [on his cellphone] Go for Puck.
Santana: Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. Can your friends score us some wine coolers?
Puck: No, but his I.D. can.
TV Show: Glee
Mercedes: Well if we're all in then it's settled. The Rachel Berry House Party Trainwreck Extravaganza is officially a go.
TV Show: Glee
Sue: Not to be alarmed, doctors say he will be fine, provided he can get the swelling in his brain under control.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I've never even had a drink.
Finn: Seriously? No wonder I never got past second base.
Finn: Seriously? No wonder I never got past second base.
TV Show: Glee