Glee Quotes
Holly: [in a classroom] Demonstration: [holds a condom] this is a condom. Which can help prevent the spread of HIV, which can lead to AIDS. And it also prevents pregnancy. [holds a cucumber]
Finn: [shocked] Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?
Mercedes: Seriously? 'Cause I just had them in my salad!
Finn: [shocked] Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?
Mercedes: Seriously? 'Cause I just had them in my salad!
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: I think I have a bun in the oven. Please don't tell anyone. Okay? Especially Artie. [closes her locker and leaves]
Santana: Yeah, sure. Your secret's safe with- Oh my God, Brittany's pregnant.
Tina: [overhears and joins her] Oh my God, Brittany's pregnant.
Puck: [walking with Lauren and overhears] It was only a matter of time.
Lauren: For what?
Puck: Brittany to get pregnant.
Lauren: Oh. [sees Artie wheeling by] Congratulations!
Artie: For what?
Lauren: You didn't hear? Your girlfriend's preggo! You're going to be a baby daddy!
Artie: [silent and shocked]
Santana: Yeah, sure. Your secret's safe with- Oh my God, Brittany's pregnant.
Tina: [overhears and joins her] Oh my God, Brittany's pregnant.
Puck: [walking with Lauren and overhears] It was only a matter of time.
Lauren: For what?
Puck: Brittany to get pregnant.
Lauren: Oh. [sees Artie wheeling by] Congratulations!
Artie: For what?
Lauren: You didn't hear? Your girlfriend's preggo! You're going to be a baby daddy!
Artie: [silent and shocked]
TV Show: Glee
Mr. Schuester: All right, folks. Regionals is in a week. It's time to get deep into our set list. Artie? You okay?
Artie: [still in shock] My life is over. How am I suppose to support a baby? [turns to Brittany] How could you not tell me about this?
Mr. Schuester: Wait, Brittany, are you pregnant?
Brittany: Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. I'm pretty sure it's a boy.
Puck: Um, babies don't get dropped off.
Mr. Schuester: Wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure.
Brittany: I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid. It's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from.
Santana: [looks at Brittany in shock]
Sam: [smiles and shakes his head]
Mr. Schuester: And that's when I realized you were right.
Artie: [still in shock] My life is over. How am I suppose to support a baby? [turns to Brittany] How could you not tell me about this?
Mr. Schuester: Wait, Brittany, are you pregnant?
Brittany: Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. I'm pretty sure it's a boy.
Puck: Um, babies don't get dropped off.
Mr. Schuester: Wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure.
Brittany: I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid. It's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from.
Santana: [looks at Brittany in shock]
Sam: [smiles and shakes his head]
Mr. Schuester: And that's when I realized you were right.
TV Show: Glee
Will: Right now, I'm the president of the Celibacy Club.
Holly: That's a waste of some fine man butt. [leaves]
Will: [looks at Holly]
Holly: That's a waste of some fine man butt. [leaves]
Will: [looks at Holly]
TV Show: Glee
Will: [writes "Sexy" on the board] Sexy.
Santana: I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance.
Santana: I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance.
TV Show: Glee
Holly: Hola, clase.
Mercedes: Oh no, it's the salad lady.
Holly: Okay. So sex...it's just like hugging, only wetter.
Artie: Yeah it is.
Holly: Okay, so let's start with the basics. [to Finn] Finn, is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?
Finn: I have always been dubious.
Mr. Schuester: [strikes the piano keys]
Holly: [to Brittany] And Brittany, you think that storks bring babies?
Brittany: I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons.
Mr. Schuester: [strikes the piano again]
Mercedes: Oh no, it's the salad lady.
Holly: Okay. So sex...it's just like hugging, only wetter.
Artie: Yeah it is.
Holly: Okay, so let's start with the basics. [to Finn] Finn, is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?
Finn: I have always been dubious.
Mr. Schuester: [strikes the piano keys]
Holly: [to Brittany] And Brittany, you think that storks bring babies?
Brittany: I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons.
Mr. Schuester: [strikes the piano again]
TV Show: Glee
Holly: So just remember whenever you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with everyone they’ve ever had sex with. And everybody’s got a random
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: [to Blaine] How are we gonna win Regionals if I have the sexual appeal of a baby penguin?
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: I've tried watching those movies but I just get horribly depressed and I think about how they were all kids once, and how they all have mothers and - God, what would their mothers think of them and WHY would you get that tattoo there?
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: I really like when we make out and stuff.
Santana: Which isn't cheating because?
Brittany: The plumbing's different.
Santana: Which isn't cheating because?
Brittany: The plumbing's different.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: Look, let's be clear here. I'm not interested in any labels, unless it's on something I shoplift.
Brittany: I don't know. Santana, I think we should talk to somebody, like an adult. This relationship is really confusing for me.
Santana: Breakfast is confusing for you.
Brittany: Well, sometimes it's sweet, sometime it's salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner? Then what is it?
Brittany: I don't know. Santana, I think we should talk to somebody, like an adult. This relationship is really confusing for me.
Santana: Breakfast is confusing for you.
Brittany: Well, sometimes it's sweet, sometime it's salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner? Then what is it?
TV Show: Glee
Holly: It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: [crying]
Brittany: Is that really how you feel?
Santana: Uh, yeah. [gets up and hugs Brittany] Thank you.
Sam: [to Artie] Pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends, right? I wish you and I were that close.
Rachel: Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava. Brava.
Santana: Look, just because I sang a song with Brittany doesn't mean you can put a label on me. Is that clear?
Brittany: Is that really how you feel?
Santana: Uh, yeah. [gets up and hugs Brittany] Thank you.
Sam: [to Artie] Pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends, right? I wish you and I were that close.
Rachel: Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava. Brava.
Santana: Look, just because I sang a song with Brittany doesn't mean you can put a label on me. Is that clear?
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Are you lost, Noah?
Quinn: Yeah, you don't belong here. You're the biggest French whore of them all.
Quinn: Yeah, you don't belong here. You're the biggest French whore of them all.
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: So, you're saying I shouldn't have sex.
Burt: I think on your thirtieth birthday, it is a great gift to yourself.
Burt: I think on your thirtieth birthday, it is a great gift to yourself.
TV Show: Glee
Holly: My lips are sealed. Just like your legs. Oh! Ha! Kidding! God, that was rude. Why did I say that? See, a real doctor would never have said that. Whoo.
TV Show: Glee
Mr. Schue: Okay what else?
Tina: She called the Ohio Secretary of State saying she was me and that I wanted to legally change my name to Tina Cohen-Loser.
Mr. Schue: She. [sighs and writes "Loser" on the board] Okay, and how does that make you feel?
Finn: Well, at first it hurts but then it mostly makes you want to win.
Mr. Schue: Guys, I think you may have just found your song. [writes "Like Me" on the board and circles "Loser Like Me"] Now let's get to writing.
Tina: She called the Ohio Secretary of State saying she was me and that I wanted to legally change my name to Tina Cohen-Loser.
Mr. Schue: She. [sighs and writes "Loser" on the board] Okay, and how does that make you feel?
Finn: Well, at first it hurts but then it mostly makes you want to win.
Mr. Schue: Guys, I think you may have just found your song. [writes "Like Me" on the board and circles "Loser Like Me"] Now let's get to writing.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: [walks to Brittany] Hi.
Brittany: Hi.
Santana: Can we talk?
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know but, um, I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: 'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with...because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't.
Brittany: I understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: Not really.
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.
Brittany: Yeah, but honey...if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
Santana: [sniffles and begins to cry] Yeah, I know. But...I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept...that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please...
Brittany: Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.
Santana: Artie?
Brittany: I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. That's not right. I can't break up with him.
Santana: Yes, you can. He's just a stupid boy.
Brittany: But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single... [tries to touch Santana's arm]
Santana: [
Brittany: Hi.
Santana: Can we talk?
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know but, um, I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: 'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with...because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't.
Brittany: I understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: Not really.
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.
Brittany: Yeah, but honey...if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
Santana: [sniffles and begins to cry] Yeah, I know. But...I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept...that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please...
Brittany: Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.
Santana: Artie?
Brittany: I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. That's not right. I can't break up with him.
Santana: Yes, you can. He's just a stupid boy.
Brittany: But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single... [tries to touch Santana's arm]
Santana: [
TV Show: Glee
Puck: Once on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm about 90% sure it's still there.
TV Show: Glee
Puck: I like wooing you, Lauren. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my second favorite part of my day.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.
Lauren: No.
Lauren: No.
TV Show: Glee
Holly: You don't want any of this. I'm damaged goods. Yes, that makes me terrific in bed, but it also means I tend to break nice guys like you into Wasa Crackers.
TV Show: Glee