Have I Got News for You Quotes
Angus Deayton: Michael Winner also admitted, I actually find it slightly funny when a celebrity dies - which I shouldn't. Don't worry, Michael, we'll all piss ourselves when you die.
Movie: Have I Got News for You
Dr Phil Hammond: Don't you hope for a president with a three-digit I.Q.?
P J O'Rourke: We're not a three-digit country.
P J O'Rourke: We're not a three-digit country.
Movie: Have I Got News for You
Paul Merton: This is, somebody was planning to make - and have, I think, made - a jacket, a hundred hamsters have gone into this jacket, and animal rights protesters have said this is terrible, and Gieves & Hawkes [pronounced "Geeves"]
Paul Merton: I believe are the names of the tailors, Savile Row tailors.
David Steel: "Gieves" [pron. "Jeeves"]
David Steel: , I think you'll find.
Paul Merton: "Gieves"? Is it Gieves?
David Steel: Could be. Sounds more likely, doesn't it?
Paul Merton: Does it? How's it spelled?
Angus Deayton: G-E-I. [sic]
Paul Merton: Ah, that's the thing that threw me you see, I was following the letters.
Angus Deayton: So Gieves & Hawkes, yes, that's right. And what have they been...
Paul Merton: So "Gieves", how do you spell "Gieves"? G-I-E-V-E-S?
Angus Deayton: Yeah.
Paul Merton: Was there a special day at school where they wrote all these names on a blackboard, because I must have been off sick. So the tailors, they've made a "gacket"...
Paul Merton: I believe are the names of the tailors, Savile Row tailors.
David Steel: "Gieves" [pron. "Jeeves"]
David Steel: , I think you'll find.
Paul Merton: "Gieves"? Is it Gieves?
David Steel: Could be. Sounds more likely, doesn't it?
Paul Merton: Does it? How's it spelled?
Angus Deayton: G-E-I. [sic]
Paul Merton: Ah, that's the thing that threw me you see, I was following the letters.
Angus Deayton: So Gieves & Hawkes, yes, that's right. And what have they been...
Paul Merton: So "Gieves", how do you spell "Gieves"? G-I-E-V-E-S?
Angus Deayton: Yeah.
Paul Merton: Was there a special day at school where they wrote all these names on a blackboard, because I must have been off sick. So the tailors, they've made a "gacket"...
Movie: Have I Got News for You
Sanjeev Bhaskar: Do you think that Donald Rumsfield looks like the villain from Scooby-Doo?
Paul Merton: Oh, what? The one who's running the old fairground?
Sanjeev Bhaskar: Yes.
Paul Merton: Um... yes, I think he looks exactly like that.
Paul Merton: Oh, what? The one who's running the old fairground?
Sanjeev Bhaskar: Yes.
Paul Merton: Um... yes, I think he looks exactly like that.
Movie: Have I Got News for You
[answering a question about dogs]
Michael Brown: There was something the other day about a dog, I mean I think Paul's probably right...
Paul Merton: Well, we can't compete with this level of research!
Michael Brown: There was something the other day about a dog, I mean I think Paul's probably right...
Paul Merton: Well, we can't compete with this level of research!
Movie: Have I Got News for You
[on a question about Pokémon]
Ian Hislop: This is the probably worst and worst-drawn film and craze in history, of badly-conceived little monsters that fight each other, and children trade cards and have a fantastic knowledge of a hundred and fifty monsters. They can't remember five countries and their capital cities, but just about every child in the country can tell you that Charmeleon evolves into Charmander and then turns into Machop and then kills someone or other, it's absolute garbage. [flippantly]
Ian Hislop: I've got an idea for these medieval history cards that I think are going to be a big hit in the playground.
Angus Deayton: You're pretty angry about this, aren't you?
Ian Hislop: I'm very, very bored. I've seen the Pokémon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.
Paul Merton: You haven't seen "Kevin & Perry Go Large", then?
Ian Hislop: This is the probably worst and worst-drawn film and craze in history, of badly-conceived little monsters that fight each other, and children trade cards and have a fantastic knowledge of a hundred and fifty monsters. They can't remember five countries and their capital cities, but just about every child in the country can tell you that Charmeleon evolves into Charmander and then turns into Machop and then kills someone or other, it's absolute garbage. [flippantly]
Ian Hislop: I've got an idea for these medieval history cards that I think are going to be a big hit in the playground.
Angus Deayton: You're pretty angry about this, aren't you?
Ian Hislop: I'm very, very bored. I've seen the Pokémon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.
Paul Merton: You haven't seen "Kevin & Perry Go Large", then?
Movie: Have I Got News for You