Hell's Kitchen (U.S.) Quotes

Gordon: Uh... Blue Jay?
Jay: Yes, Chef?
Gordon: (referring to Salvatore) Run upstairs and get Bozo for me, please.
Jay: Oui, Chef.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Fine dining? A fine fucking MESS!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: It's thirty minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.
Ben: [walking to the pass with some chocolate brownie desserts] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts...
Narrator: Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.
Gordon: Dickhead, put them down. Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate fucking brownie. WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Seth: (interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he was bringing up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid shit, but that's embarrassing.
Gordon: So, let's do it this way, then. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve a chocolate brownie before we serve any appetizers.
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!
Ben: No, chef, no.
Gordon: You've got cheesecake made as well!
Ben: Yes, chef.
Gordon: We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out fucking appetizers!
Ben: It was my fault, chef.
Ben: (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but fuck me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"
Gordon: Have you been drinking or sniffing?
Ben: No, chef, no.
Gordon: Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.
Ben: No, no, chef!
Gordon: Go upstairs for a lie-down! [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben rushes back into the kitchen.]

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[after Seth's attempt at butchering the filet mignon, Ramsay has discovered a huge amount of wasted meat]
Gordon: Hey, all of you, come here! There's the filet, yes? Look at the fucking waste! [Empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified] That's what he took off, and there's the filet!
Giovanni: (interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for less. It looked like he went at it with a jackhammer.
Narrator: With only fifteen minutes of dinner service left, Seth has butchered the filet.
Gordon: Look at the filet! We've fucking wasted the most expensive part! [hurls the offcuts at Seth] What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one?
Narrator: And possibly the Blue Team's hope of winning dinner service.
Gordon: How can you do that?
Seth: Well, I never butchered a filet before.
Gordon: Congratulations, you just have.
Seth: (smiles) Thank you, yes...
Gordon: Hey, smart arse, not in the right way you fucking bozo!
Seth: (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I'll know for next time.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Colleen: How could we lose with cheerleaders on our side? Yeah! V-C-I-T-O-R-Y! (a caption reading "Vcitory???" appears)

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Danny: I'm not a hero, I never said I was.
Giovanni: You said that earlier.
J: Yeah, you said you were the best cook.
Danny: I am obviously the best cook on the team.
Ben: You wanna hear something, dude? I will cook circles around you! I will circle you like a fucking moon!
Danny: Where have you been?
Ben: Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my cock!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.
Blue Team: Yes, Chef!
Danny: [to Giovanni] Is it [the water] boiling?
Gordon: How long?
Giovanni: I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.
Gordon: You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?!
Giovanni: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: [interview] Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?
Gordon: Hey, look at me! There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!
Giovanni: [interview] Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.
Gordon: Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Hey, hey, come here, you. Three Wellingtons, you brought me four. One medium, one medium-well, one well done. Where's the medium one?
Colleen: The medium one's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the medium-well?
Colleen: The medium-well's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the well done one, then?
Colleen: It's right here, Chef.
Gordon: So what the fuck is this one?
Colleen: I don't know.
Gordon: You don't know. That's funny, isn't it? A little "Ha-ha," "Tee-hee," and "God Bless Nebraska?"

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: [To Seth] I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe a pan. If this one's for your fucking nose, where's your cooking cloth?

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: All of you come here! Hey look at me. You are pathetic. No one's won! Fuck off! Both teams start thinking about two of you to fucking go home. You, pathetic! I don't want anymore. I don't want to wait for your shit anymore. I don't want your shit anymore. I don't want you drying your face and then fucking cooking with a cloth, YOU SCUMMY FUCKER! GET OUT!!!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Something's really bugging me, you know that? And I can't stop thinking about it and here's why. If a customer goes out for dinner and their steak is overcooked or undercooked, it gets redone. And they move on and enjoy the evening. But if a customer goes out for dinner and they get served a butt of lettuce, that's how reputations get destroyed in minutes butthead! [to J]

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Joseph: Want to talk about fucking fighting?
Gordon: Oh wow.
Joseph: Want to get fucking rough?
Gordon: You think I'm scared? Huh? Look at you.
Joseph: Yeah, keep talking for the fucking cameras.
Gordon: You've just blown your-- Yeah, fuck the cameras.
Joseph: Yeah?
Gordon: Yeah.
Joseph: Let's go step outside!
Gordon: Out in front here? I asked you one simple question and you couldn't fucking answer me. And then you want to get all tough and up close and personal.
Joseph: Fuck you!
Gordon: There you go.
Joseph: Fuck you! You ain't nothin' but a bitch!
Gordon: You've got no respect.
Joseph: No respect.
Gordon: Now get out.
Joseph: Fuck you. You fucking bitch! (Double flips off the chefs.) Fuck all of you! (the guards lead him out, he trips over the step.)
Gordon: Watch the step.
Joseph: Yeah, watch the step bitch.
Gordon: What an idiot. Total, total shame. (kicks Joseph's jacket up to the table.)
Joseph: (outside the restaurant.) I don't need this shit. I don't need some limey fucking prick talking to me like that. Without skipping a beat, I'll go back home, I'll work. Anybody who fucking hires me to work in their kitchen, they'll be proud to have me there! Fuck him! Fuck him!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...
J: Off to the spa we go...
Narrator: ...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know that he'll be working with someone to plan the party.
Brenda: This gentleman is very recommended.
Jean-Philippe: Yes.
Brenda: So, um...
Francisco: Bonjour, darling!
Brenda: Oh, here he is now.
Narrator: ...Someone he knows all too well.
Francisco: Oh, it's so good to see you! (hugs J.P.) I'm so happy to be here. Are you thrilled to see me?
Brenda: Alright, well, see you tomorrow.
Francisco: Thank you.
Jean-Philippe: [to Francisco] Listen, you. You are not interfering with my job.
Francisco: I respect your boundaries.
Jean-Philippe: Alright, I'll do my thing, and then you do your little thing.
Francisco: "My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.
Jean-Philippe: Good.
Francisco: Oh, here they (the Red Team) come.
Jean-Philippe: Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.
Francisco: I'm so excited to be here, this is so fabulous! (the ladies laugh) Wait until you see what we're doing. We are gonna go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's gonna be so festive!
Coi: (interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.
Francisco: We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...
Andrea: (laughing) Twinkly!
Coi: (interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.
Francisco: We are gonna make this the most beautiful sports arena!
LA: (interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Carol! Taste that rice, it's like mush! Show me the rice.
Carol: Right here, Chef.
Gordon: Oh my god! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked this rice?
[flashback to when J cooked the rice for both teams, pouring two boxes into one pan.]
Andrea: The blue team.
Gordon: The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?
J: I did, chef.
Gordon: Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Ohh, fucking hell! Oh, come on! You can't do this!
Lacey: (interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely wasn't a good way to start the evening.
Gordon: It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck me! Come on, fuck off J!
J: I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, 'cause he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.
Gordon: Jean-Phillipe, stop the risotto, yeah? J! I can't believe you just screwed the service. In both kitchens!
Robert: (interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today you fucking suck, man.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: I've got sauce on one, and two Dory here. Sauce on one and two Dory here, LA!
[LA is standing still and staring into space]
Paula: (interview) It's almost like LA was half-asleep or something.
Gordon: Come on, LA!
Gloria: Come on! LA, wake up! Are you sleeping or something?!
LA: No, I'm...
Gordon: She's dreaming. Come on! More sauce, you silly cow!
LA: (interview) He called me a cow. For the first time.
Gordon: Don't cook all the fucking Dory in one pan unless you're boiling them, yes?
LA: Yes, chef. (interview) In the real world, you wouldn't have someone yelling at you like that. You wouldn't have someone calling you a cow, a bitch. You wouldn't. 'Cos if someone in the real world called you a cow or a bitch, you would walk up to them and sock them in the head.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: J! Where's the other scallop?
J: Right here, chef.
[J brings the scallops to the pass; they're badly overcooked]
Gordon: Have you seen this shit?
Scott: Disastrous, isn't it?
Gordon: I have had enough. Come here, you! Leave it, put that down! You, come here! [the team members gather around the pass] What is that? What IS that? That's us at our best? What is it? Wait, it gets better! Look, touch that!
Ben: It's rubber, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my GOD! Unbelievable! [J goes to touch one of the scallops, and Ramsay knocks his hand away] No! No, no, no, NO! Get out! OUT, OUT, OUT! Take your jacket off, and fuck off! Get out! GET OUT!
J: (to himself, after he is kicked out) I guess that's it for me, bro. (interview) I guess I don't belong here, so... I'll be going home. I'm here for a reason, and it's my boy and my wife, so of course I'm disappointed. It was a tough day. My dream when I came to Hell's Kitchen was to win. So, uh, now it's time to move on and get my own restaurants going. You know, I don't need Chef Ramsay's opinion, so, uh, I've got it. It's time for J Maxwell to do his own thing.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Robert: C'mon, guys! Let's fucking do it!
Ben: Yeah, move!
[Robert bends over and a ripping sound is heard. As Ben and Lacey look on in shock, we see that Robert has split open the seat of his trousers. He carries on, unconcerned]
Robert: Come on guys keep pushing.(interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"
Scott: Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.
Robert: (interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a shit.
Gordon: Damn!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[Lacey has just served some badly carved lamb]
Gordon: Oh my god!
Lacey: Fuck me.
Gordon: Come here, all of you! What is that? The fucking bone's thicker than the meat! What is that?
Lacey: I don't know!
Gordon: It's not good enough! GET OUT! You're not good enough! Piss off!
[Lacey walks into the storage cupboard; Chef Ramsay follows her]
Gordon: Madam, look at me. Let's be honest, you're done. You can't waste my time any longer!
Lacey: I agree.
Gordon: Take your jacket off, and leave Hell's Kitchen. And go in there, and say goodbye. Properly, say it properly! Let's go.
Lacey: [to the blue team] Thank you for everything!
[Danny quickly waves to Lacey and then resumes cooking; Ben and Robert ignore her altogether]
Robert: (interview) There's a small violin, just for Lacey. [blows a raspberry] She sucks. Adios, biatoch.
Gordon: Piss off! Let's go! Step up a gear.
Lacey: (interview) On one hand, it's a relief. I can get back to my normal life. (Packing her suitcase) At least now, I know I can get some sleep at night. (interview) But you know, another part of me wishes to stay and learn more and have that chance to win but unfortunately I fucked up tonight and I can only look back on the positive things which there weren't many for me. You know, my mom told me when I came here, "Don't make enemies." and that's the first thing I did and kept doing the whole time I was here. Sorry mom, I should've listened.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: (with a chewed up piece of chicken) What is that?
Scott: Giovanni's best.
Gordon: Hey Ben, is that a chewed up little chicken from the dog ear? That's your special. Have a word with him. He's given up. Take all the garnish back, do whatever you want with it. Your special has now become not very special, thanks to dickface there. Hurry up Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yeah, but I'm not a dickface chef!
Gordon: Yeah. Say that again?
Giovanni: I'm not a dickface chef!
Gordon: You're pissed aren't you? You're fucking--! Look at me! Look at my EYES! YOU'RE NOT AS PISSED AS I AM!! YOU FUCKING ARE!! DONKEY!!
Giovanni: No.
Ben: (interview) Whooo! Boy oh boy!
Gordon: Cause right now, I don't give a fuck! Dickface!
Giovanni: (interview) I'm an emotional person. He can get in my face all he wants to. He will not break me.
Gordon: You're sending me shit and trying to get away with it. Now I'm ready for an argument! Sending me that, you should be ashamed!
Robert: (interview) He just wants you to pop off.
Gordon: And you want to get all sensitive! You want to get all fucking dirty! Look at me, you send me shit like that, take your jacket and fuck off!
Giovanni: Yes chef.
Gordon: I'm not sending that shit chef!
Giovanni: Yes chef. Sorry chef. (interview) I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at myself. It was just, I was boiling inside and he said something to me.
Gordon: That's the well done one and look at me, I think you're too fucked to get upset with me. It's not the fucking way I call it. This isn't personal, this is professional! That personal was a piece of shit now pull it back!!
Giovanni: Yes chef.
Gordon: Dickface!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: I just spent the last hour upstairs in my office thinking. It just doesn't make sense! How can the final six be so shit? I called you all down here because on the back of that performance, I'm now going to do something I have never ever done before. I'm shutting down Hell's Kitchen.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: What is that?
Louie: Sausage gravy over biscuits.
Gordon: Sausage gravy?
Louie: Yes.
Gordon: Over biscuits?
Louie: Yes. I sell about five gallons of it a week.
Gordon: Gallons? What, you sell this to pigs?
Louie: No, actually, I own a diner.
Gordon: Uh-huh, okay. And how much do you charge for that?
Louie: $4.75.
Gordon: $4.75?
Louie: Yeah. With coffee.
[Ramsay tastes some of the dish, and quickly spits it out in disgust]
Gordon: Fuck me.
Louie: What's wrong with it?
Gordon: What's wrong with it? It tastes like gunk.
Louie: (interview) Hundreds of people eat that in my diner each week. I don't think it was worth spitting out!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Hey, what's that piece of shit there?
Suzanne: It's supposed to be the salmon.
Gordon: Holy fuck! Look at that. It's like a... bison's penis! What is that shit? [opens up the salmon wrap, revealing the interior to be totally frozen] Look at that! Stone-cold, frozen salmon. Who put the salmon in the freezer?!
Amanda: Me. I fucked it up.
Gordon: Yeah, you fucked up, big time!
Tek: All the salmon's the same, I think we should try and fix it.
Gordon: Yeah, 'cos she's wrapped it frozen.
Heather: And we have five on order.
Gordon: We've got five on order?
Heather: Five on order.
Gordon: (to Amanda) Hey, ditzy! Great job!
Amanda: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck off.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: (on discovering that Louie has wasted a huge amount of lamb) Look... at... this! Look! LOOK! LOOK! What the fuck is this?! LOUIE!
Louie: Yes, sir?
Gordon: Fuck off back there! GET OUT! Yes, get fucked! Pile of shit! Hey, get upstairs, get your bags packed...
Louie: Can I help? Can I help in the kitchen?
Gordon: Yeah, you can help me! FUCK OFF! GET OUT!
Louie: (interview) You want me out? I'm out. You want me to pack my bags? My bags are packed. YOU CAN KISS MY FUCKING ASS!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Melinda was completely lost in space. So I sent her back to whatever planet she came from.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Joseph, let's be honest, that's a pretty sorry battalion you got there. Isn't it?
Joseph: Right now it is.
Gordon: Who's the first nominee for the men?
Joseph: They can speak for themselves but they know who they are.
Gordon: Hey, smart arse, I asked you to tell me. Who's the first nominee and why?
Joseph: No problem. Tony and Andy.
Gordon: Listen, I know you may be slightly stupid. First nominee and why?
Joseph: First nominee and why? Tony. He knows why. We sat down as a group and they wouldn't pick each other. You know. No peer pressure! We're men!
Gordon: Just, just just, what do you want a fucking medal?
Joseph: What do you want me to fucking say? What do you want me to say? They know who they fucking are. We chose as a group and they stand out and they said they belong there. Stand up, they know who they are.
Gordon: (approaches Joseph) Listen you chippy idiot, I asked for one nominee and why in plain English, and you're mouthing off and you couldn't answer me. Now can you just tell me in fucking plain English, the first nominee and why he's nominated. Is that fucking clear?!
Joseph: That's clear.
Gordon: Thank you! (walks back) Unbelievable! One simple request, who and why, and you make a big fucking song and dance about it!
Joseph: I ain't no fucking bitch chef! I don't give a fuck. I ain't no bitch!
Gordon: What?!
Joseph: I'm not no bitch!
Robert: He's trying to bring the best out of you. You got to look past it.
Joseph: He's not bringing the best out of me.
Ariel: Yeah, show some respect.
Joseph: Shut your fucking mouth is what you should do right now.
Suzanne: Come on, man!
Joseph: I'm talking here. I don't give a fuck about you. I

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[Andrew has just bought up some extremely thin and runny mashed potatoes]
Gordon: What's he done?
Scott Leibfried: Potato soup.
Andrew: (to himself) Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap!
Gordon: Blue team, come here all of you, a minute. That's you as well, Salvatore! There you go, there's our mashed potato! There you fucking go!
[Andrew takes back the mashed potato, then pours it into another batch he's making]
Gordon: Don't add it- oh, no!
Andrew: (snaps) What?!
Gordon: Come here, you idiot! Let me fucking explain why!
Andrew: Yes, please do.
Gordon: You've put the thick stuff in, and you add the runny to it.
Andrew: That was a brilliant idea, chef.
Gordon: "That's a brilliant idea, chef!" You think this is funny, don't you? So we're serving fucking liquid mashed potato, so I expect you to put that fucking fresh stuff in a pan, and you add the runny to it! That's not going to make any ounce of difference there, it's gone!
Andrew: That's not true.
Jason: (interview) Man, this guy, damn! He's just crazy!
Andrew: And now you're going to tell me I can't cook in the sautee pan?
Jason: (interview) Chef Ramsay, he's like the Jay-Z of fucking restaurants! You don't talk back to a man like that!
Gordon: Come here! I'm fucking losing my temper with you. Say that again?
Andrew: So now I've got to take it out of the sautee pan?
Gordon: Yeah, come here you. Get out!
Andrew: Yes, chef.
[Chef Ramsay ushers Andrew out of the kitchen, into the dining area]
Gordon: Let me tell you something straight. You've got nothing right! You don't care, you've got no respect, and do you know what? You're a fucking joke to the industry. Yeah, that's what you a

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Jason: (interview) Andrew? I don't know what happened to that cat. Chef Ramsay hit his ass with some fairy dust and made his ass disappear.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Come here, all of you! All of you! Is that the best roast chicken and is that the best fucking beef requested mid rare? (grabs Siobhan's hand) I want you to touch it. Touch it! Touch it!
Fran: No, no it's not. The chicken's dry.
Siobhan: Where's the gratin on top?
Scott Hawley: It got pulled off. It was on there before.
Nilka: No, it wasn't.
Gordon: Look at me! Is that the best?
Red Team: No, chef!
Gordon: Is that the best?
Red Team: No, chef!
Gordon: Do me a favor, all of you! FUCK OFF! GET OUT! GET OUT! And don't you dare switch it off, I'll finish it! Fuck off!
Nilka: I would love to stay and...
Gordon: GET OUT! OUT! GET OUT! (throws the chicken into one of the units) GET OUT!
Nilka: (to herself) I'm sick of this shit.
Holli: That's really embarrassing.
[Chef Ramsay goes into the blue kitchen]
Gordon: Scott, come in here with me and I'll finish this one, please, yeah?
Scott Leibfried: Okay.
Narrator: Now, Chef Ramsay and his trusted sous chefs, Scott and Andi will complete the red kitchen's dinner service.
Gordon: Three spaghetti, one tagliatelle, yes?
Scott Leibfried: Three spaghetti, one t- (sees the mess left behind by the Red Team) Oh, my god! What the fuck did they do to this place?
Gordon: Yeah, I know.
Scott Leibfried: It went really bad, huh?
Andi: Yep.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Siobhan, why do you think you should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Siobhan: I take pride in my work, and I put my best effort forward. I use that little bit of knowledge I have, I have passion, and I ask a lot of questions...
Scott Hawley: (interrupting Siobhan) You shouldn't be asking simple fucking questions! It should take care of itself. This isn't culinary school, the common-sense things are driving the red team down, big time.
Gordon: Scott, why are you back here?
Scott Hawley: I was voted up, Chef. I don't agree with it. I've had a tough couple of services, but I'm a hard worker. Obviously, you know that. I just bust ass every day, I have a calmness about me every day, no matter what the stresses bring. By no means, I'm not the worst cook in this team by far, I'm the best cook in this team, the best leader in this team, I can accomplish...
Gordon: (interrupting Scott) I can't take it any more! Fran, Siobhan, fuck off back in line.
Scott Hawley: This team will fucking die if I'm not here.
Gordon: Scott, give me your jacket!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: When it's brown, it's cooked, When it's black, it's fucked.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)