House Quotes
Thirteen: Speaking of House… why did you come back? You must've taken a major paycut.
Taub: Life's too short to worry about money.
Thirteen: Your wife feels the same way?
Taub: She's happy to cut back on some things — like… sex.
Taub: Life's too short to worry about money.
Thirteen: Your wife feels the same way?
Taub: She's happy to cut back on some things — like… sex.
TV Show: House
Taub: I trust you had a wonderful Thanksgiving?
Chase: I don't remember. So I guess, I did.
Chase: I don't remember. So I guess, I did.
TV Show: House
House: Sorry, I can't remember if I mocked you yet for being a male nurse.
Male nurse: I think this counts.
House: Fair enough.
Male nurse: I think this counts.
House: Fair enough.
TV Show: House
Wilson: Where's House?
Taub: Performing his ritual hiding-from-Cuddy-to-avoid-getting-a-new-case dance. It's kind of a jazz-fusion kind of thing.
Thirteen: He's probably eating lunch in the morgue.
Taub: Performing his ritual hiding-from-Cuddy-to-avoid-getting-a-new-case dance. It's kind of a jazz-fusion kind of thing.
Thirteen: He's probably eating lunch in the morgue.
TV Show: House
House[after Wilson asks if he'll be at his transplant surgery]: No... If you die I'm alone.
TV Show: House
Wilson: You can't change a table.
House: Actually you can. You just need a bucket of paint and the guts to use it.
House: Actually you can. You just need a bucket of paint and the guts to use it.
TV Show: House
House: He won't tell us anything. Understandable, since he's a drug dealer.
Thirteen: So he's dangerous and withholding, which you find irresistible. But guys like that, they never call.
Thirteen: So he's dangerous and withholding, which you find irresistible. But guys like that, they never call.
TV Show: House
Mickey: An adult wants to get wasted, why is it anybody's business what substance they use?
Taub: Because some of those substances are against the law.
Mickey: So your problem isn't that it's immoral. Your problem is that it's illegal. I got the same problem.
Taub: Because some of those substances are against the law.
Mickey: So your problem isn't that it's immoral. Your problem is that it's illegal. I got the same problem.
TV Show: House
House: That receiver doesn't respond to manual stimulation. Maybe if you took off your shirt.
Thirteen: Actually, I resorted to something more exotic. I call it reading the instructions. Turns out if you screw the antennae into the wrong sockets, it doesn't actually work.
Thirteen: Actually, I resorted to something more exotic. I call it reading the instructions. Turns out if you screw the antennae into the wrong sockets, it doesn't actually work.
TV Show: House
Taub: Knowing this guy's an undercover cop doesn't get us any closer to curing him.
House: Good point. You know what they say. Information is not power. Wait...
House: Good point. You know what they say. Information is not power. Wait...
TV Show: House
Chase: Guy's a hero. He's risking his life to put these dealers in jail.
House: I'm sure the dealers who take their places will be very grateful.
House: I'm sure the dealers who take their places will be very grateful.
TV Show: House
Thirteen: Why do you want to meet her so badly?
House: Psychopaths always fascinate me. I think it's their cultural literacy and strong family values. Or is that Jews?
House: Psychopaths always fascinate me. I think it's their cultural literacy and strong family values. Or is that Jews?
TV Show: House
House: Those of you who haven't slept together, you can go. Everyone else, stay behind.
[Chase gets up and leaves, but Taub just sits there, looking at House]
Taub: Oh. Sorry. (to Thirteen) That was our secret, right?
[Chase gets up and leaves, but Taub just sits there, looking at House]
Taub: Oh. Sorry. (to Thirteen) That was our secret, right?
TV Show: House
House: (to Foreman and Thirteen) Go have sex.
Thirteen: No, thanks.
House: Fine, I'll cover the Viagra and the lubricants. Just get me a receipt.
Foreman: We have zero feelings for each other.
House: Well, that's too bad, 'cause things worked much better when you did. Would it help if I slept with her?
Thirteen: No, thanks.
House: Fine, I'll cover the Viagra and the lubricants. Just get me a receipt.
Foreman: We have zero feelings for each other.
House: Well, that's too bad, 'cause things worked much better when you did. Would it help if I slept with her?
TV Show: House
House: So when you watch Star Wars, which side do you root for?
Valerie: Dr. House. What are you doing?
House: Just checking in on your radiotherapy.
Valerie: From what I hear, you never visit patients. And now, you've come to chat with me twice.
House: I want to know how you like being a management consultant. I'm thinking of getting into it. That or psychopathy maybe. Which pays better?
Valerie: I think you're already into one of them. Dr. Hadley made a joke yesterday. She said I sound like you.
House: I'm sure you understand what “joke” means.
Valerie: So you're not just out for yourself? For example, you would never interrupt a sick woman's treatment just because of some personal obsession?
House: Of course I'm self-interested. We all are. We're born that way. The rest of us are born with consciences.
Valerie: Which is something you just sound ecstatic about.
House: I'm not saying it's logical. I'm just saying it's human.
Valerie: So if you know your conscience is just an animal instinct, you don't need to follow it. I think you realize that. That's why you're talking to me.
Valerie: Dr. House. What are you doing?
House: Just checking in on your radiotherapy.
Valerie: From what I hear, you never visit patients. And now, you've come to chat with me twice.
House: I want to know how you like being a management consultant. I'm thinking of getting into it. That or psychopathy maybe. Which pays better?
Valerie: I think you're already into one of them. Dr. Hadley made a joke yesterday. She said I sound like you.
House: I'm sure you understand what “joke” means.
Valerie: So you're not just out for yourself? For example, you would never interrupt a sick woman's treatment just because of some personal obsession?
House: Of course I'm self-interested. We all are. We're born that way. The rest of us are born with consciences.
Valerie: Which is something you just sound ecstatic about.
House: I'm not saying it's logical. I'm just saying it's human.
Valerie: So if you know your conscience is just an animal instinct, you don't need to follow it. I think you realize that. That's why you're talking to me.
TV Show: House
Chase: I'd give her a day. Two days at the most.
House: Great. You be the clock. Everyone else will be the doctors.
House: Great. You be the clock. Everyone else will be the doctors.
TV Show: House
House: Man, one false accusation from a psychopath, and you turned out to be a real bummer. I'm gonna go see if Wilson has any liver left.
TV Show: House
Wilson: (entering the office) What are you doing?
House: Paying Wibberly's mortgage for a few months. (rips check out of the book) Congratulations on another successful round of hectoring.
Wilson: Wait a minute, is that actually a check for him?
House: No. It's a giant novelty item for winning the lottery. You're just standing really far away.
House: Paying Wibberly's mortgage for a few months. (rips check out of the book) Congratulations on another successful round of hectoring.
Wilson: Wait a minute, is that actually a check for him?
House: No. It's a giant novelty item for winning the lottery. You're just standing really far away.
TV Show: House
House: You're turning white.
Patient's Mother: What does that mean?
House: It means he doesn't need football to get a good job anymore.
Patient's Mother: What does that mean?
House: It means he doesn't need football to get a good job anymore.
TV Show: House