I Do Quotes
Rekha: Hey Vanessa.
Vanessa: Yes Rekha?
Rekha: I stupidity contagious?
Vanessa: No. Why who do you think you're going to get it from?
Rekha: Boys.
Vanessa: I wouldn't worry about that. It only affects the male of the species.
Doug, Jody, Alasdair: Sexist!
Vanessa: Yes Rekha?
Rekha: I stupidity contagious?
Vanessa: No. Why who do you think you're going to get it from?
Rekha: Boys.
Vanessa: I wouldn't worry about that. It only affects the male of the species.
Doug, Jody, Alasdair: Sexist!
Movie: I Do
The Man With The Plan: Look at you. You got a lady?
Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia: No.
The Man With The Plan: That's 'cause you're hangin' out with the virus breeders, Jimmy: VB's. You in that yet? Bitin' the pillow?
Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia: No.
The Man With The Plan: You will. It's a liberal thing. One day you're saving the rain forest, the next, you're chuggin' cock. Am I wrong?
Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia: No.
The Man With The Plan: That's 'cause you're hangin' out with the virus breeders, Jimmy: VB's. You in that yet? Bitin' the pillow?
Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia: No.
The Man With The Plan: You will. It's a liberal thing. One day you're saving the rain forest, the next, you're chuggin' cock. Am I wrong?
Movie: I Do
The Man With The Plan: She's a 10, Jimmy. She's a world unto herself. She can't nurse worth ****, but I keep her on, because even though I can't feel it, I know I get erections in her presence.
Movie: I Do
Tom Anderson: What in the dam hell?
Tom Anderson: AAAAUUGGGH! AAAAUUGGH!
Beavis: Hey how's it going?
Tom Anderson: DON'T YOU EVER CATCH ME SEEING YOU DOING THAT AND PULL YOU'R DAMN PANTS UP!
Tom Anderson: AAAAUUGGGH! AAAAUUGGH!
Beavis: Hey how's it going?
Tom Anderson: DON'T YOU EVER CATCH ME SEEING YOU DOING THAT AND PULL YOU'R DAMN PANTS UP!
Movie: I Do
Valarie: [Lisa and Valerie are standing in the kitchen. To Lisa, holding out her hand] Gloves?
Lisa: [Pulls them out of a lower cupboard and hands them to her] Gloves.
Valarie: [Putting on gloves] Sieve?
Lisa: [Pulls sieve out of same place, and hands it to her] Sieve.
Valarie: Foil?
Lisa: [Pulls out a box of aluminum foil] Foil.
Valarie: Not that foil.
[She puts it down, then pulls out a fencing foil]
Valarie: Ah, foil.
[Takes it in her right hand, while she holds the sieve over her face like a fencing mask]
Alasdair: [Running in] What's for dinner, mom?
Valarie: Swordfish, Alasdair. It'll be ready in just a minute.
[to someone else]
Valarie: All right. En garde!
[Starts swordfighting with an apparent swordfish]
Lisa: [Pulls them out of a lower cupboard and hands them to her] Gloves.
Valarie: [Putting on gloves] Sieve?
Lisa: [Pulls sieve out of same place, and hands it to her] Sieve.
Valarie: Foil?
Lisa: [Pulls out a box of aluminum foil] Foil.
Valarie: Not that foil.
[She puts it down, then pulls out a fencing foil]
Valarie: Ah, foil.
[Takes it in her right hand, while she holds the sieve over her face like a fencing mask]
Alasdair: [Running in] What's for dinner, mom?
Valarie: Swordfish, Alasdair. It'll be ready in just a minute.
[to someone else]
Valarie: All right. En garde!
[Starts swordfighting with an apparent swordfish]
Movie: I Do
Valarie: Chris you were our first born, then you Jill, you were our second born and Christian, you were our first.
Christian: Really?
Valarie: Yes! Our first BIG mistake.
Christian: Really?
Valarie: Yes! Our first BIG mistake.
Movie: I Do
"Zé do Caixão: From the beginning to the end of the centuries, man is the ruler of everything, he is the master of life, and woman is his instrument. His acts know no reproach. She's the willing slave before the power of man. So it shall be, through ought the millennium. So it shall be, until the end of everything!
Movie: I Do
[after Seven, Lone Ng, and So walk into a casino wearing suits]
So: By the way, if those guards come back for revenge, what do we do?
Lone Ng: I haven't thought of this question. When I kick after eating, those guys would have to wake up 4 to 5 hours later.
So: By the way, if those guards come back for revenge, what do we do?
Lone Ng: I haven't thought of this question. When I kick after eating, those guys would have to wake up 4 to 5 hours later.
Movie: I Do
[Asked whether his shades are prescription or just to look cool]
Guy: Well, I am the drummer.
Guy: Well, I am the drummer.
Movie: I Do
[Christine throws water on Brodie]
Brodie: What did you do that for?
Christine: You said you wanted to be treated equally. Well, this is what happens to me every week... Sometimes twice.
[Christine throws more water on Brodie]
Brodie: Now that is truly not fair.
Brodie: What did you do that for?
Christine: You said you wanted to be treated equally. Well, this is what happens to me every week... Sometimes twice.
[Christine throws more water on Brodie]
Brodie: Now that is truly not fair.
Movie: I Do
[first lines]
Zé do Caixão: Live to die or die to live? Is there an answer? No! Only doubts! Only deductions... Only the conviction of emptiness... of loneliness... the desperate search for the whole and the nothing in the vastness of the dark. The unveil of this enigma would be the end of the mystery. The end of the secret of eternity. The apogee of happiness. The mission is accomplished! Men would be facing his biggest conquest... the awakening of his own origin.
Zé do Caixão: Live to die or die to live? Is there an answer? No! Only doubts! Only deductions... Only the conviction of emptiness... of loneliness... the desperate search for the whole and the nothing in the vastness of the dark. The unveil of this enigma would be the end of the mystery. The end of the secret of eternity. The apogee of happiness. The mission is accomplished! Men would be facing his biggest conquest... the awakening of his own origin.
Movie: I Do
[last lines]
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head, do you think we're gonna ever score?
Butt-head: I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt-dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uh, ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah.
Beavis: 'Cause, I just need to stop by his tool shed for a couple minutes.
[laughs]
Beavis: You know what I'm saying?
Butt-head: Tool.
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head, do you think we're gonna ever score?
Butt-head: I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt-dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uh, ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah.
Beavis: 'Cause, I just need to stop by his tool shed for a couple minutes.
[laughs]
Beavis: You know what I'm saying?
Butt-head: Tool.
Movie: I Do
[last lines]
So: [narrating] Since that following day, Ko Chun has seldom been seen by the public. Many people tell me about the legends of Ko Chun. Someone told me he has two students, Dagger and Sing. Some people say he appeared in Nepal with Seven, but no one knows which saying is correct.
So: [narrating] Since that following day, Ko Chun has seldom been seen by the public. Many people tell me about the legends of Ko Chun. Someone told me he has two students, Dagger and Sing. Some people say he appeared in Nepal with Seven, but no one knows which saying is correct.
Movie: I Do
[repeated line]
Mr. Shidler: Where does the school board find them and why do they send them to me?
Mr. Shidler: Where does the school board find them and why do they send them to me?
Movie: I Do
70 Year Old Man: Life is like a mustard burp, momentarily tangy and then forgotten in the air
Movie: I Do
Alasdair: Hay Vanessa?
Vanessa: Yeah Alasdair?
Alasdair: Teddy Roosevelt was a famous sportsman, and Ernest Hemingway was a famous hunter. Can you name a famous camper?
Vanessa: Yeah, my parent's Winnebago.
Lisa: [Pops out of her locker] You know, how can you let Vanessa answer any more of these questions? Her jokes are terrible.
Vanessa: I wouldn't talk, Lisa.
Christine: [Pops out of her locker] That's all she can do.
[Goes back in]
Vanessa: Yeah Alasdair?
Alasdair: Teddy Roosevelt was a famous sportsman, and Ernest Hemingway was a famous hunter. Can you name a famous camper?
Vanessa: Yeah, my parent's Winnebago.
Lisa: [Pops out of her locker] You know, how can you let Vanessa answer any more of these questions? Her jokes are terrible.
Vanessa: I wouldn't talk, Lisa.
Christine: [Pops out of her locker] That's all she can do.
[Goes back in]
Movie: I Do
Frank Spencer: I've had a lot of worries Betty, its bound to affect our relationship.
Betty Spencer: Its difficult to have any kind of relationship if I'm in bed and you're on the floor!
Betty Spencer: Its difficult to have any kind of relationship if I'm in bed and you're on the floor!
Movie: I Do
Alasdair: There you are.
Lisa: Alasdair what's wrong?
Alasdair: Stephanie took my wallet.
Lisa: How could she do something like that? She's so cute.
Alasdair: Oh yeah.
[Aladsair takes his wallet out of Stephanie's pocket]
Alasdair: Ah-Ha! This proves that Stephanie took my wallet.
Lisa: And my watch? Stephanie!
Lisa: Alasdair what's wrong?
Alasdair: Stephanie took my wallet.
Lisa: How could she do something like that? She's so cute.
Alasdair: Oh yeah.
[Aladsair takes his wallet out of Stephanie's pocket]
Alasdair: Ah-Ha! This proves that Stephanie took my wallet.
Lisa: And my watch? Stephanie!
Movie: I Do
Alex: So what's your name?
Paco: Paco.
Alex: No, ****, I mean, professionally what's your name?
Paco: Paco.
Alex: Don't you have a nickname? Like...Killer Paco, The Subway Psycho, Hatchet Man.
Paco: Yes. Francisco.
Alex: You could call yourself Michael Knight, like in Knightrider. What do you think, eh?
Paco: Look. Shut your ****ing mouth or you'll get the car up your ass! Rule No. 1: My car is sacred. Like my mother's sex life, you don't mention it. Rule No. 2: The music I play in my car is also sacred, whether it's the Vienna Boys Choir or Bing Crosby. Got that?
Alex: Yeah, sure. I didn't mean to annoy you. I like all kinds of music, really. It's just that, as you're saying nothing, I'm doing the talking...
[silence]
Alex: Well, who do we have to kill?
Paco: What you talking about, you asshole!
Alex: Are we not going to kill someone? Are you not a hired killer?
Paco: Look, you dickhead! I've been everything in this life. Gigolo, pool cleaner, messenger and a killer too. Everything but a faggot, got that?
Alex: Yes.
Paco: Paco.
Alex: No, ****, I mean, professionally what's your name?
Paco: Paco.
Alex: Don't you have a nickname? Like...Killer Paco, The Subway Psycho, Hatchet Man.
Paco: Yes. Francisco.
Alex: You could call yourself Michael Knight, like in Knightrider. What do you think, eh?
Paco: Look. Shut your ****ing mouth or you'll get the car up your ass! Rule No. 1: My car is sacred. Like my mother's sex life, you don't mention it. Rule No. 2: The music I play in my car is also sacred, whether it's the Vienna Boys Choir or Bing Crosby. Got that?
Alex: Yeah, sure. I didn't mean to annoy you. I like all kinds of music, really. It's just that, as you're saying nothing, I'm doing the talking...
[silence]
Alex: Well, who do we have to kill?
Paco: What you talking about, you asshole!
Alex: Are we not going to kill someone? Are you not a hired killer?
Paco: Look, you dickhead! I've been everything in this life. Gigolo, pool cleaner, messenger and a killer too. Everything but a faggot, got that?
Alex: Yes.
Movie: I Do
Announcer: [Announcing the preempted show] Reading Rambo will not be seen at this time because Rambo can't read.
Movie: I Do
Baby Sinister: The fact of the matter is by the year 2000 every city will be black. Thanks to the fax, the modem, conference call, federal-f**king express, the beast will be able to conduct his business from his home in the white suburb leaving the city a great wide warzone full of nuclear brothers.
Rooster: That's what I'm saying man, the fax, modem, FTD...
Baby Sinister: What the f**k you talking about, FTD?
Rooster: You got to have flowers in the warzone, Baby.
Rooster: That's what I'm saying man, the fax, modem, FTD...
Baby Sinister: What the f**k you talking about, FTD?
Rooster: You got to have flowers in the warzone, Baby.
Movie: I Do
Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're getting paid to score.
Beavis: Yeah yeah, hnh hnh, then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with *two* remotes! Hnh hnh.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.
Beavis: Yeah yeah, hnh hnh, then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with *two* remotes! Hnh hnh.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.
Movie: I Do
Christine: [Ross comes onto the main set, playing a ukelele and singing. He gets on one knee near the cast all sitting there watching. Christine interrupts him] Ross, what are you doing?
Ross: What do you mean 'what am I doing'? This is a ukelele. I'm telling you, everybody played a uke when I was a kid.
Christine: Come on, Ross. Get with it man. Today's sounds are electronic. You know, guitar power?
[the rest of the cast agrees]
Ross: Oh, you mean like this?
[Using the ukelele, he mimes playing an electric guitar for about 10 seconds, while the guitar solo break from Heart's 'Magic Man' is used. When he stops, he shakes his head]
Ross: Nope. I don't like it.
[Gets up and walks off playing the ukelele as he did before and singing]
Ross: What do you mean 'what am I doing'? This is a ukelele. I'm telling you, everybody played a uke when I was a kid.
Christine: Come on, Ross. Get with it man. Today's sounds are electronic. You know, guitar power?
[the rest of the cast agrees]
Ross: Oh, you mean like this?
[Using the ukelele, he mimes playing an electric guitar for about 10 seconds, while the guitar solo break from Heart's 'Magic Man' is used. When he stops, he shakes his head]
Ross: Nope. I don't like it.
[Gets up and walks off playing the ukelele as he did before and singing]
Movie: I Do
Christine: Hi, and welcome to another pailful episode of You Can't Do That on Television, the show that has nothing to fear from infection because it couldn't get any sicker then it already is.
Movie: I Do