I Do Quotes
Christine: Hi, and welcome to You Can't Do That on Television. Another in a long series of sour notes.
Movie: I Do
Coach: [Corey pitches a bologna sandwich to Alasdair, who hits it with his baseball bat. The coach walks in blowing his whistle] All right. How many times do I have to tell you kids, don't play with your food.
Movie: I Do
Cripple: Hey, mister, do you want some dope?
Holland: Er?
Cripple: I said, dope. Do you want any?
Holland: Do you have elephant?
Cripple: Heh?
Holland: Do you have Mingtoydop?
Cripple: Heh?
Holland: I guess you don't.
Holland: Er?
Cripple: I said, dope. Do you want any?
Holland: Do you have elephant?
Cripple: Heh?
Holland: Do you have Mingtoydop?
Cripple: Heh?
Holland: I guess you don't.
Movie: I Do
Eric: Here's a word for all of those who've been lucky enough to get away for Christmas.
Escaped Convict: Keep out of sight and don't appear on television.
Escaped Convict: Keep out of sight and don't appear on television.
Movie: I Do
Frankie Lymon: Do you love him?
Zola Taylor: I told you, Frankie. He's a nice, good man...
Frankie Lymon: I didn't ask that! I asked you do you love him?
Zola Taylor: YES! I love him, okay?
Frankie Lymon: Oh, no, no... You said that marriage would tie you down. You just didn't want to be tied down to me.
Zola Taylor: No, I never said that Frankie.
Frankie Lymon: Oh, yeah, that's what you said. Now, let me tell you something. You gonna always be tied down to me. Whether you like it ot not. We're like magnets...
[forcefully kisses Zola]
Zola Taylor: [pushes Frankie away] Mm-mmm. Don't do this to me, Frankie.
Frankie Lymon: Don't leave me right now, Zola.
Zola Taylor: [flashes ring] I'm married.
Frankie Lymon: No, that was a mistake! That was a mistake!
Zola Taylor: NO! I got a life, baby, and it ain't gonna include you. Now you got to go. GET OUT!
Zola Taylor: I told you, Frankie. He's a nice, good man...
Frankie Lymon: I didn't ask that! I asked you do you love him?
Zola Taylor: YES! I love him, okay?
Frankie Lymon: Oh, no, no... You said that marriage would tie you down. You just didn't want to be tied down to me.
Zola Taylor: No, I never said that Frankie.
Frankie Lymon: Oh, yeah, that's what you said. Now, let me tell you something. You gonna always be tied down to me. Whether you like it ot not. We're like magnets...
[forcefully kisses Zola]
Zola Taylor: [pushes Frankie away] Mm-mmm. Don't do this to me, Frankie.
Frankie Lymon: Don't leave me right now, Zola.
Zola Taylor: [flashes ring] I'm married.
Frankie Lymon: No, that was a mistake! That was a mistake!
Zola Taylor: NO! I got a life, baby, and it ain't gonna include you. Now you got to go. GET OUT!
Movie: I Do
Gina Hudd: [to Miss Marple] You're a real prototype, aren't you? Most of Grandame's friends are absolutely last year's turnips, but you're different, aren't you?
Movie: I Do
Howard: Well, here's the money, but where's the gold?
Kenneth: Whiplash took it.
Barry: Where is Whiplash?
Howard: He's gotta be here somewhere.
Shane: [shouting] Snidely?
Howard: He took off with all the gold. All we have is this measly $26,000.
Barry: We gotta find Whip. He's tricked us.
Howard: And when we do, we're gonna kill him... reeeeeeally slowly.
Kenneth: Yeah, but where is he, huh?
Barry: Now, that's a good question.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [from behind a mask] I heard he was in the Sudan.
Barry: Where's that?
Howard: In Africa, stupid.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: He's supposed to be at the Hilton Hotel.
Howard: The Hilton, eh?
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Mmm.
Howard: Come on, boys! Let's go get him!
[all the bad guys rush out]
Kenneth: Whiplash took it.
Barry: Where is Whiplash?
Howard: He's gotta be here somewhere.
Shane: [shouting] Snidely?
Howard: He took off with all the gold. All we have is this measly $26,000.
Barry: We gotta find Whip. He's tricked us.
Howard: And when we do, we're gonna kill him... reeeeeeally slowly.
Kenneth: Yeah, but where is he, huh?
Barry: Now, that's a good question.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [from behind a mask] I heard he was in the Sudan.
Barry: Where's that?
Howard: In Africa, stupid.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: He's supposed to be at the Hilton Hotel.
Howard: The Hilton, eh?
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Mmm.
Howard: Come on, boys! Let's go get him!
[all the bad guys rush out]
Movie: I Do
Ike Turner, Sr.: Hey, Anna Mae, where you goin'. I need to get some sleep!
Tina Turner: Go straight to hell, Ike!
Tina Turner: Go straight to hell, Ike!
Movie: I Do
Jennifer: You brought his insulin. I was gonna do it.
Sandino: Well, now you don't have to.
Jennifer: Why are you so nice to us?
Sandino: I don't understand that question.
Jennifer: You nice, why?
Sandino: Why not? You shold expect people to be nice to you. You shouldn't expect people to be mean.
Jennifer: Not in ths world.
Sandino: You get what you expect, right?
Jennifer: I guess.
Sandino: You do a great job with your brothers.
Jennifer: I'm all they got.
Sandino: Well, now you don't have to.
Jennifer: Why are you so nice to us?
Sandino: I don't understand that question.
Jennifer: You nice, why?
Sandino: Why not? You shold expect people to be nice to you. You shouldn't expect people to be mean.
Jennifer: Not in ths world.
Sandino: You get what you expect, right?
Jennifer: I guess.
Sandino: You do a great job with your brothers.
Jennifer: I'm all they got.
Movie: I Do
Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia: You gave me your word!
The Man With The Plan: I'm a criminal; my word don't mean dick!
The Man With The Plan: I'm a criminal; my word don't mean dick!
Movie: I Do
Kevin: Hey Alisdair
Alasdair: Yes Kevin?
Kevin: Where do you go to pick up girls?
Alasdair: The skating rink
Kevin: Why the skating rink?
Alasdair: Because that's where they usually fall down
Alasdair: Yes Kevin?
Kevin: Where do you go to pick up girls?
Alasdair: The skating rink
Kevin: Why the skating rink?
Alasdair: Because that's where they usually fall down
Movie: I Do
Leroy Brown: [to Madea, after he found his dog dead] Madea, you better be glad that I'm saved or I would just stab you in your heart!
Mable "Madea" Simmons: [Madea goes upstairs and comes back down with her purse full of guns] Come on stab me! I want you to stab me! Come on and stab me!
Mable "Madea" Simmons: [Madea goes upstairs and comes back down with her purse full of guns] Come on stab me! I want you to stab me! Come on and stab me!
Movie: I Do
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, do you think we're ever going to score?
Butt-head: Uh, I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uhhh... ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yep.
Beavis: 'Cause, um, I just need to stop by his toolshed for a few minutes.
Butt-head: [giggles] Tool.
Beavis: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
Butt-head: Uh, I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uhhh... ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yep.
Beavis: 'Cause, um, I just need to stop by his toolshed for a few minutes.
Butt-head: [giggles] Tool.
Beavis: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
Movie: I Do
Billy Foster: [Beth kisses Billy on cheek]
Beth Foster: That's for showing me one of the nicest times I've ever had in my life.
Billy Foster: Is, uh, that all I'm gonna get?
Beth Foster: That's all you gonna get in public.
Billy Foster, Beth Foster: [Laughter. Billy grabs Beth's behind]
Beth Foster: [Squeals] Stop!
[Squeals]
Beth Foster: You fresh thing!
Billy Foster: [Laughs] You know you love it.
Beth Foster: Yes, I do.
Billy Foster: Woo! And tonight I'm gonna lay a blockbuster on you. To-*night*!
Beth Foster: Yeah? Oh, I'm gonna have a block for you to bust, too, baby, so you better bring a whole lotta hammer.
Billy Foster: Have hammer, will travel and go deep into your crevice.
Beth Foster: That's for showing me one of the nicest times I've ever had in my life.
Billy Foster: Is, uh, that all I'm gonna get?
Beth Foster: That's all you gonna get in public.
Billy Foster, Beth Foster: [Laughter. Billy grabs Beth's behind]
Beth Foster: [Squeals] Stop!
[Squeals]
Beth Foster: You fresh thing!
Billy Foster: [Laughs] You know you love it.
Beth Foster: Yes, I do.
Billy Foster: Woo! And tonight I'm gonna lay a blockbuster on you. To-*night*!
Beth Foster: Yeah? Oh, I'm gonna have a block for you to bust, too, baby, so you better bring a whole lotta hammer.
Billy Foster: Have hammer, will travel and go deep into your crevice.
Movie: I Do
Butt-head: [over loudspeaker] Uh, attention! Attention! We're looking for the chick with big boobs!
Beavis: [over loudspeaker] Yeah. We are ready to do you now!
Beavis and Butt-head: Uh-huh-huh-huh!
All senators: Uh-huh-huh-huh! Uh-huh-huh-huh!
Beavis: [over loudspeaker] Yeah. We are ready to do you now!
Beavis and Butt-head: Uh-huh-huh-huh!
All senators: Uh-huh-huh-huh! Uh-huh-huh-huh!
Movie: I Do
Christine: Hi, and welcome to another pailful episode of You Can't Do That on Television, the show that has nothing to fear from infection because it couldn't get any sicker then it already is.
Movie: I Do
Christine: Hi, and welcome to You Can't Do That on Television. Another in a long series of sour notes.
Movie: I Do
Faye: Was she a good kisser?
Guy: Yeah.
Faye: Yeah?
Guy: It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.
Guy: Yeah.
Faye: Yeah?
Guy: It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.
Movie: I Do
Guy Patterson: When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, really, honestly good and kissed?
Movie: I Do
Jennifer: My Grandma Rose used to tell us to pray about things like this.
Madea: Then that's what you ought to do, pray about it, talk to the Lord about it. He'll help you.
Jennifer: Yeah but she only told us to pray. She never told us how. Would you teach me?
Madea: Huh?
Jennifer: Please!
Madea: Show you how to pray?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Madea: Oh, Lord, child, I ain't talked to God since the last time I saw a cop in my rearview mirror. I guess I can try. You know the number?
Jennifer: The what?
Madea: The number. To call him. They say, "Jesus On the Mainline." I don't know the number. Okay, sit back. Bow your head. First, giving honor to God, to the head of my life.
[sings]
Madea: Father, I stretch my hand... to thee. Father God. God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God of Shadrach, Meshach and the billy goat, who was in the fiery furnace that they barbecued on the day of Pentecost when the Jewish people returned from the Sabbath day up on the mountaintop in Ethiopia. God of Mary J. Blige...
Jennifer: Madea, that doesn't sound right. That's not how Mama Rose used to do it.
Madea: You ain't feel it? You ain't feel the anointing?
Jennifer: No.
Madea: Alright. Well, look, I don't know nothing about praying. But all praying is is talking to God and having a conversation with him. And at the end, you say the name of Jesus. That's your stamp that will get it up there to him. You hear?
Jennifer
Madea: Then that's what you ought to do, pray about it, talk to the Lord about it. He'll help you.
Jennifer: Yeah but she only told us to pray. She never told us how. Would you teach me?
Madea: Huh?
Jennifer: Please!
Madea: Show you how to pray?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Madea: Oh, Lord, child, I ain't talked to God since the last time I saw a cop in my rearview mirror. I guess I can try. You know the number?
Jennifer: The what?
Madea: The number. To call him. They say, "Jesus On the Mainline." I don't know the number. Okay, sit back. Bow your head. First, giving honor to God, to the head of my life.
[sings]
Madea: Father, I stretch my hand... to thee. Father God. God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God of Shadrach, Meshach and the billy goat, who was in the fiery furnace that they barbecued on the day of Pentecost when the Jewish people returned from the Sabbath day up on the mountaintop in Ethiopia. God of Mary J. Blige...
Jennifer: Madea, that doesn't sound right. That's not how Mama Rose used to do it.
Madea: You ain't feel it? You ain't feel the anointing?
Jennifer: No.
Madea: Alright. Well, look, I don't know nothing about praying. But all praying is is talking to God and having a conversation with him. And at the end, you say the name of Jesus. That's your stamp that will get it up there to him. You hear?
Jennifer
Movie: I Do
Leroy Brown: [to Madea, after he found his dog dead] Madea, you better be glad that I'm saved or I would just stab you in your heart!
Mable "Madea" Simmons: [Madea goes upstairs and comes back down with her purse full of guns] Come on stab me! I want you to stab me! Come on and stab me!
Mable "Madea" Simmons: [Madea goes upstairs and comes back down with her purse full of guns] Come on stab me! I want you to stab me! Come on and stab me!
Movie: I Do
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [referring to the letters 'D.D.' being shot into the wall with bullets] Do you have any idea what this could possibly mean?
Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.
Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.
Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.
In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.
In The Back: Doc Duvalier.
Lefty: David Duchovny?
In The Back: Delores Del Rio.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.
Kenneth: Dan Rather.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.
Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.
Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.
Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.
In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.
In The Back: Doc Duvalier.
Lefty: David Duchovny?
In The Back: Delores Del Rio.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.
Kenneth: Dan Rather.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.
Movie: I Do
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [referring to the letters 'D.D.' being shot into the wall with bullets] Do you have any idea what this could possibly mean?
Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.
Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.
Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.
In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.
In The Back: Doc Duvalier.
Lefty: David Duchovny?
In The Back: Delores Del Rio.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.
Kenneth: Dan Rather.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.
Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.
Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.
Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.
In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.
In The Back: Doc Duvalier.
Lefty: David Duchovny?
In The Back: Delores Del Rio.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.
Kenneth: Dan Rather.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.
Movie: I Do