I'm Alan Partridge Quotes
Alan Partridge: That's not racist. French people chomp onions and go "hoh-hee-hoh-hee-hoh", that's a fact.
TV Show: I'm Alan Partridge
Alan Partridge: [Walking up the stairs of the house he's looking at, which have wooden bannisters] It's very Cluedo this house, isn't it? Colonel Mustard in the ensuite bathroom with the lead pipe. Battered.
TV Show: I'm Alan Partridge
Yvonne Boyd: Underneath our clothes we are, all of us, naked. Even you, Alan.
Alan Partridge: No, I'm not.
Alan Partridge: No, I'm not.
TV Show: I'm Alan Partridge
[Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]
Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind!
Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today?
Alan Partridge: Classic Queen! I'm very well, thank you, how are you?
Susan: I'm fine.
Alan Partridge: I like the, uh, I like those earrings. Are they gold?
Susan: Yes, they're rose gold.
Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? But, er, they're very nice. Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they're sad. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head!
Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind!
Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today?
Alan Partridge: Classic Queen! I'm very well, thank you, how are you?
Susan: I'm fine.
Alan Partridge: I like the, uh, I like those earrings. Are they gold?
Susan: Yes, they're rose gold.
Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? But, er, they're very nice. Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they're sad. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head!
TV Show: I'm Alan Partridge
[Alan is on a date with Jill at an owl sanctuary]
Alan Partridge: You know, when I used to see you in reception, do you know what I used to think?
Jill: No.
Alan Partridge: I used to think "Ooohh... she's nicer than my wife!"
Jill: [laughs] Hah! That's terrible. That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. [a moment of silence. They grin like two schoolkids. Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]
Jill: [Giggling] You're mad, you are!
Alan Partridge: I know, I am a bit mad. [Pretends to claw her like a monster]
Alan Partridge: AAHHH! [She shrieks and laughs. Alan looks behind him and addresses someone in the distance, out of shot]
Alan Partridge: It's alright. No, it's alright, I was just... I was just portraying a madman.
Alan Partridge: You know, when I used to see you in reception, do you know what I used to think?
Jill: No.
Alan Partridge: I used to think "Ooohh... she's nicer than my wife!"
Jill: [laughs] Hah! That's terrible. That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. [a moment of silence. They grin like two schoolkids. Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]
Jill: [Giggling] You're mad, you are!
Alan Partridge: I know, I am a bit mad. [Pretends to claw her like a monster]
Alan Partridge: AAHHH! [She shrieks and laughs. Alan looks behind him and addresses someone in the distance, out of shot]
Alan Partridge: It's alright. No, it's alright, I was just... I was just portraying a madman.
TV Show: I'm Alan Partridge