iCarly Quotes
Freddie: [Sam enters the building listening to music] Aw, man, it's Sam! She's gonna see my costume and insult me nineteen different ways!
[Sam walks up and sees Freddie in his witch costume. She takes the earphones out of her ears and looks up and down at Freddie's costume. She shakes her head]
Sam: Too easy.
[Sam walks up and sees Freddie in his witch costume. She takes the earphones out of her ears and looks up and down at Freddie's costume. She shakes her head]
Sam: Too easy.
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Something still doesn't make sense. Why did Lewbert say that no one lived here?
Lewbert: Cause I'm a jerk! Hahaha, I got you kids good! Score one for Lewbert! Happy Hannukah!
Carly: Halloween.
Lewbert: [splutters incoherently]
Lewbert: Cause I'm a jerk! Hahaha, I got you kids good! Score one for Lewbert! Happy Hannukah!
Carly: Halloween.
Lewbert: [splutters incoherently]
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: This could be the very last iCarly webcast ever!
Sam: And if anything horrible happens... (Freddie zooms in on the camera) Mom, I lied to you. Those pants do make you look fat.
Sam: And if anything horrible happens... (Freddie zooms in on the camera) Mom, I lied to you. Those pants do make you look fat.
TV Show: iCarly
(Spencer comes into the loft wet and covered in pumpkin)
Sam: That's Carly's brother, Spencer.
Carly: Any words for our viewers before we sign off?
Spencer: (gets closer to the camera) ...Never forget...to buy candy on Halloween.
Sam: That's Carly's brother, Spencer.
Carly: Any words for our viewers before we sign off?
Spencer: (gets closer to the camera) ...Never forget...to buy candy on Halloween.
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Alright, let me establish a crostic-plex transmission between my laptop and my camcorder.
Sam: Wow, a tech-talkin' witch boy. Look out ladies.
Sam: Wow, a tech-talkin' witch boy. Look out ladies.
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Now, I'm going to show you the latest piece of equipment that's going to blow you guys away.
Carly: What is it?
Sam: You buy yourself a robot girlfriend?
Freddie: I don't need a robot girlfriend. Because in 20 years, I guarantee you, I will be Carly's second husband.
Carly: What happened to my first husband?
Freddie: Nothing you can prove.
Carly: What is it?
Sam: You buy yourself a robot girlfriend?
Freddie: I don't need a robot girlfriend. Because in 20 years, I guarantee you, I will be Carly's second husband.
Carly: What happened to my first husband?
Freddie: Nothing you can prove.
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What did you get?
Freddie: It's a teeny video camera disguised as a piece of pie! [takes out a giant plastic piece of pie with a very conspicuous camera lens on it. Carly and Sam laugh]
Sam: Yeah, who couldn't that fool?
Freddie: It looks real.
Carly: Yeah. Like a real piece of plastic pie with a camera lens on the side!
Sam: Look, it comes with a giant fork! [holds up the fork]
Freddie: Give me that! [snatches fork back] This a quality piece of spy equipment!
Sam: My Aunt Maggie's boobs look more real than that. And they're ridiculous.
Freddie: It's a teeny video camera disguised as a piece of pie! [takes out a giant plastic piece of pie with a very conspicuous camera lens on it. Carly and Sam laugh]
Sam: Yeah, who couldn't that fool?
Freddie: It looks real.
Carly: Yeah. Like a real piece of plastic pie with a camera lens on the side!
Sam: Look, it comes with a giant fork! [holds up the fork]
Freddie: Give me that! [snatches fork back] This a quality piece of spy equipment!
Sam: My Aunt Maggie's boobs look more real than that. And they're ridiculous.
TV Show: iCarly
[Spencer persuades his date Connie to juggle, who starts to do so just as Freddie catches his attention with the fake pie]
Freddie: Don't mind me, I'm just a guy having some pie!
Spencer: Hey, is that one of those pie-spy video cameras?
Freddie: No it is not.
Connie: Oh yeah, they were talking about those on the Food Channel... Or was it the Spy Channel?
Spencer: You know, I think it was the Spy Channel.
Freddie: I don't know what you guys are talking about! This is just a normal piece of pie that doesn't record anything!
Spencer: But there's a big lens on the side.
Freddie: [frustrated] Oh, just forget it! [goes back upstairs]
Freddie: Don't mind me, I'm just a guy having some pie!
Spencer: Hey, is that one of those pie-spy video cameras?
Freddie: No it is not.
Connie: Oh yeah, they were talking about those on the Food Channel... Or was it the Spy Channel?
Spencer: You know, I think it was the Spy Channel.
Freddie: I don't know what you guys are talking about! This is just a normal piece of pie that doesn't record anything!
Spencer: But there's a big lens on the side.
Freddie: [frustrated] Oh, just forget it! [goes back upstairs]
TV Show: iCarly
[Carly and Freddie are spying on Ms. Briggs with the fake pie in tow at her house and decide that she is boring, so they decide to leave, but just as they turn to walk away, a bee flies around them]
Freddie: [waving his arms to shoo the bee away] Hey, go away! Get out of here!
Carly: It's just a bee.
Freddie: You don't understand; I am extremely allergic to bees! Get out of here, you stupid bee! I think he wants my pie!
Carly: That is a stupid bee.
[Freddie hands Carly the fake pie, runs, falls over, gets up and runs for the entrance to Ms. Briggs' house to flee from the bee]
Carly: Where are you going?
Freddie: I can't get stung! [he goes inside]
Carly: Are you insane?! Get out of Ms. Briggs' apartment! You can't just... [the bee continues to fly all around her as she waves her arms to get the bee to fly away] Get away! It's a fake pie! Can't you see the big lens on the side?! [she drops the pie and runs inside] IT'S A FAKE PIE!
Freddie: [waving his arms to shoo the bee away] Hey, go away! Get out of here!
Carly: It's just a bee.
Freddie: You don't understand; I am extremely allergic to bees! Get out of here, you stupid bee! I think he wants my pie!
Carly: That is a stupid bee.
[Freddie hands Carly the fake pie, runs, falls over, gets up and runs for the entrance to Ms. Briggs' house to flee from the bee]
Carly: Where are you going?
Freddie: I can't get stung! [he goes inside]
Carly: Are you insane?! Get out of Ms. Briggs' apartment! You can't just... [the bee continues to fly all around her as she waves her arms to get the bee to fly away] Get away! It's a fake pie! Can't you see the big lens on the side?! [she drops the pie and runs inside] IT'S A FAKE PIE!
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: It's Valerie!
Carly: Sam, stall her! Freddie, take off the stupid clothes.
Sam: [opens door] Hey, Valerie, how goes it?
Valerie: I'm great! Is Freddie there because I-
[Sam slams door shut]
Carly: I said to stall her!
Sam: She is stalled. I slammed the door right in her face!
Carly: Sam, stall her! Freddie, take off the stupid clothes.
Sam: [opens door] Hey, Valerie, how goes it?
Valerie: I'm great! Is Freddie there because I-
[Sam slams door shut]
Carly: I said to stall her!
Sam: She is stalled. I slammed the door right in her face!
TV Show: iCarly
Mrs. Benson: Freddie, tell her the rule about standing up straight.
Freddie: ...You won't get respect if your back's not erect.
[Sam spits out a mouthful of watermelon]
Freddie: ...You won't get respect if your back's not erect.
[Sam spits out a mouthful of watermelon]
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Yup, we've gone out every night this week. I'd say we're almost officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
Sam: So, which one are you?
Sam: So, which one are you?
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: That little-
Sam: Say it!
Carly: I don't like to say it. Spencer says it's not lady-like.
Sam: Say it!
Carly: That skunkbag!
Sam: Feels good, doesn't it?!
Carly: Yeah, it does!
Sam: We're gonna go tell Freddie?!
Carly: Yeah, we are!
Sam: Can we get a smoothie first?!
Carly: No, we cannot!
Sam: Say it!
Carly: I don't like to say it. Spencer says it's not lady-like.
Sam: Say it!
Carly: That skunkbag!
Sam: Feels good, doesn't it?!
Carly: Yeah, it does!
Sam: We're gonna go tell Freddie?!
Carly: Yeah, we are!
Sam: Can we get a smoothie first?!
Carly: No, we cannot!
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Tell Freddie he's just as important to the show as we are.
Sam: Aw, why don't you just make me drink out of a toliet?
Carly: Tell him.
Sam: Freddie, you're just as important to the show as we are. [hugs Freddie and gives him a wedgie]
Freddie: She gave me a wedgie!
Sam: No charge! Now c'mon, let's do the show.
Sam: Aw, why don't you just make me drink out of a toliet?
Carly: Tell him.
Sam: Freddie, you're just as important to the show as we are. [hugs Freddie and gives him a wedgie]
Freddie: She gave me a wedgie!
Sam: No charge! Now c'mon, let's do the show.
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Come here, Freddie!
Freddie: Leave me alone, Sam! Sam, what are you gonna-
[Sam pushes Freddie out the room. He crawls to the other room, while Carly and Sam follow him. He gets up]
Freddie: That was assault!
Carly: Why are you quitting iCarly?
Sam: Yeah, why?
Freddie: Well, 'cause maybe I don't like the way Sam treats me!
Carly: Oh, come on!
Freddie: Yeah, she's always putting me down, and calling me mean names, and everytime I get an ice cream cone, she takes it and she licks it. She just licks it all over the place, just to bug me!
Freddie: Leave me alone, Sam! Sam, what are you gonna-
[Sam pushes Freddie out the room. He crawls to the other room, while Carly and Sam follow him. He gets up]
Freddie: That was assault!
Carly: Why are you quitting iCarly?
Sam: Yeah, why?
Freddie: Well, 'cause maybe I don't like the way Sam treats me!
Carly: Oh, come on!
Freddie: Yeah, she's always putting me down, and calling me mean names, and everytime I get an ice cream cone, she takes it and she licks it. She just licks it all over the place, just to bug me!
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: [about the world record book] This thing is full of top-notch freaks, mutants and psychos!
Carly: All your favorite things!
Sam: I know!
Carly: All your favorite things!
Sam: I know!
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: We were down for about four seconds.
Carly: Well... that's not a problem, right?
Marilyn: I'm sorry, but to break the world record, your webshow had to be continuous.
Carly: But haven't you ever heard of the five second rule?
Marilyn: That's for eating food off the floor.
Carly: Well, I feel that that rule could apply here nicely!
Carly: Well... that's not a problem, right?
Marilyn: I'm sorry, but to break the world record, your webshow had to be continuous.
Carly: But haven't you ever heard of the five second rule?
Marilyn: That's for eating food off the floor.
Carly: Well, I feel that that rule could apply here nicely!
TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: I'd bet my whole month's allowance that all of my equipment was working perfectly!
Carly: Ooh, you'd bet a whole eight bucks?
Sam: Your mom only gives you eight bucks a month?
Freddie: She's afraid that if she gives me more, I'll buy a bus ticket and leave her.
Carly: That's so dumb!
Freddie: Yeah, not really.
Carly: Ooh, you'd bet a whole eight bucks?
Sam: Your mom only gives you eight bucks a month?
Freddie: She's afraid that if she gives me more, I'll buy a bus ticket and leave her.
Carly: That's so dumb!
Freddie: Yeah, not really.
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: I can't believe Mr. Cline gave me a D on that test. How'd I get a D?
Carly: You only answered half the questions, then told Mr. Cline the test was stupid, then burped, then left.
Sam: And that's not worth a D+?
Carly: You only answered half the questions, then told Mr. Cline the test was stupid, then burped, then left.
Sam: And that's not worth a D+?
TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Will you ask the Plain White T's to perform on iCarly?
Spencer: Will you take a digital picture of my back?
Carly: Yes!
Spencer: Then yes!
Spencer: Will you take a digital picture of my back?
Carly: Yes!
Spencer: Then yes!
TV Show: iCarly
Nevel: Better find a new hobby, Carly, 'cause your web show is officially cancelled. BY ME! (he shuts off his telecast)
Carly: I hate him!
Nevel: (turns his telecast back on) I heard that! (turns it off again)
Carly: I hate him!
Nevel: (turns his telecast back on) I heard that! (turns it off again)
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Oh man, this bites.
Freddie: Well, we can't do iCarly as long as Nevel controls our site.
Nevel: (turns his telecast back on) So true!
Carly: (angrily) Get off my monitor! (unplugs the computer, then picks up a phone)
Freddie: Who are you calling?
Carly: You'll see.
Sam: You ordering pizza?
Carly: No!
Freddie: Well, we can't do iCarly as long as Nevel controls our site.
Nevel: (turns his telecast back on) So true!
Carly: (angrily) Get off my monitor! (unplugs the computer, then picks up a phone)
Freddie: Who are you calling?
Carly: You'll see.
Sam: You ordering pizza?
Carly: No!
TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Wow Freddie, I like seeing you all fiesty.
Freddie: That's the Freddie Way.
Carly: I thought the Freddie Way was a toasted bagel with grape jelly.
Freddie: That's the Freddie-Breakfast Way.
Freddie: That's the Freddie Way.
Carly: I thought the Freddie Way was a toasted bagel with grape jelly.
Freddie: That's the Freddie-Breakfast Way.
TV Show: iCarly
[Nevel's grandma walks in and sees Freddie dangling from the ceiling]
Nevel's Grandma: Ooh, spider!
[She leaves and gets an umbrella]
Freddie: Hey there.
Nevel's Grandma: Spider!!
Nevel's Grandma: Ooh, spider!
[She leaves and gets an umbrella]
Freddie: Hey there.
Nevel's Grandma: Spider!!
TV Show: iCarly
Nevel: And now, on iCarly, I will sing a song all about my web cast. (singing in a tone similar to Old MacDonald Had a Farm)I have a webshow that I do, it is really bad!
Sam: How can this not be infuriating you?!
Carly: Just keep watching.
Nevel: And boring too, it makes people sad!
Sam: How can this not be infuriating you?!
Carly: Just keep watching.
Nevel: And boring too, it makes people sad!
TV Show: iCarly
Nevel's Grandma: Who are you?
Carly: We're your...personal trainers!
Sam: Come on! Let's do some squat thrusts!
Carly: Squat and thrust!
Carly and Sam: Ready? Just squat and thrust! ..One...Two...Three..
[Sam continues to instruct Nevel's Grandma while Carly helps Freddie down]
Carly: Sam, let's go!
[Carly, Sam, and Freddie leave while Nevel's Grandma continues to squat thrust while "counting"]
Nevel's Grandma: Three! W! Mustard!
Carly: We're your...personal trainers!
Sam: Come on! Let's do some squat thrusts!
Carly: Squat and thrust!
Carly and Sam: Ready? Just squat and thrust! ..One...Two...Three..
[Sam continues to instruct Nevel's Grandma while Carly helps Freddie down]
Carly: Sam, let's go!
[Carly, Sam, and Freddie leave while Nevel's Grandma continues to squat thrust while "counting"]
Nevel's Grandma: Three! W! Mustard!
TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Why won't this lamp turn on?
Carly: Let me see the instructions.
Spencer: Good luck, they're in Japanese!
Carly: Well, did you try saying lamp in Japanese?
Spencer: I did not! How do you say it?
Carly: It looks like...rampuu.
Spencer: Rampuu. Rampuu. RAMPUU!
[Lamp turns on]
Spencer: It worked!
Carly: Yeah, you just have to say it like a really angry Japanese man!
[Carly sits down next to Spencer and they take turns screaming at the lamp]
Carly & Spencer: RAMPUU! RAMPUU! [and so on]
[Freddie walks in and stares at them for a moment, then walks back out slowly]
Carly: Let me see the instructions.
Spencer: Good luck, they're in Japanese!
Carly: Well, did you try saying lamp in Japanese?
Spencer: I did not! How do you say it?
Carly: It looks like...rampuu.
Spencer: Rampuu. Rampuu. RAMPUU!
[Lamp turns on]
Spencer: It worked!
Carly: Yeah, you just have to say it like a really angry Japanese man!
[Carly sits down next to Spencer and they take turns screaming at the lamp]
Carly & Spencer: RAMPUU! RAMPUU! [and so on]
[Freddie walks in and stares at them for a moment, then walks back out slowly]
TV Show: iCarly