Kath and Kim Quotes
Sharon: To be honest, I think you look like mutton dressed as lamb.
Kath: Well, thank you for noticing Sharon!
Kath: Well, thank you for noticing Sharon!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: I told King Henry VIII to get knotted. Me and Kel are happy to do it on the front lawn!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Sharon! Treat em' mean, keep them keen!
Sharon: Well? wouldn't... being nicer be the better way to go?
Sharon: Well? wouldn't... being nicer be the better way to go?
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Brett: (Talking to Kim about online dating) Why don't you try logging on to WWW dot bretty dot com - hey you, come here! (grabs Kim)
Kim: Piss off, Brett!
Kim: Piss off, Brett!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: No kiss, no coach, no kiss, no coach, it was like a nightmare!
Kim: Why didn't just kiss him?
Kim: Why didn't just kiss him?
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: I really want something elegant, you know. Something, I dont know, maybe a cocktail party. You know, with some hot suggestions.
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah! We can have those classy cocktails. I've had them all, Sixtey-Niner, Slow Screw Against The Wall, Sex On The Beach.
Kath: Yeah? What about an "orgasm"?
Kim: No, I've never had one of those.
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah! We can have those classy cocktails. I've had them all, Sixtey-Niner, Slow Screw Against The Wall, Sex On The Beach.
Kath: Yeah? What about an "orgasm"?
Kim: No, I've never had one of those.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Look at me, Mum, don't you think I look like Britney Spears?
Kath: Yes, you do, you do, you look like her sister, Asparagus. Asparagus Spears, geddit?
Kath: Yes, you do, you do, you look like her sister, Asparagus. Asparagus Spears, geddit?
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: I've still got a thumping headache. I'm never drinking again.
Kath: More Bailey's, Kim?
Kim: Yes, thanks.
Kath: More Bailey's, Kim?
Kim: Yes, thanks.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Trude: When is the wedding?
Kath: It's September 18th, 4: 45 for a 4: 46 start.
Trude: And where will the wedding be held? Hyatt? Sheraton? Crown Towers?
Kath: No, it's a garden wedding.
Trude: Oh beyoushiful, a marquee at the Royal Botanical Garden!
Kath: Erm, no, a tarpaulin over the clothesline at White Horse Court, Fountain Lakes.
Trude: Grayshsh!
Kath: It's September 18th, 4: 45 for a 4: 46 start.
Trude: And where will the wedding be held? Hyatt? Sheraton? Crown Towers?
Kath: No, it's a garden wedding.
Trude: Oh beyoushiful, a marquee at the Royal Botanical Garden!
Kath: Erm, no, a tarpaulin over the clothesline at White Horse Court, Fountain Lakes.
Trude:
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Prue: How about something in your Bodum?
Kim: I beg yours!
Prue: A plunger in your Bodum's always nice. And it comes with these matching cups which are cyuuute.
Kim: Nuh.
Prue: How about Nigella Oliver's newie? It's the box set! It's got New Food, Screwed Food, Rude Food and Nude Food...
Kim: Nuh.
Kim: I beg yours!
Prue: A plunger in your Bodum's always nice. And it comes with these matching cups which are cyuuute.
Kim: Nuh.
Prue: How about Nigella Oliver's newie? It's the box set! It's got New Food, Screwed Food, Rude Food and Nude Food...
Kim: Nuh.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: Do you have flutes in your Orrefors? (pronounced like orifice)
Trude: Yes! I do.
Kath: Right, I'll take two of those.
Trude: Yes! I do.
Kath: Right, I'll take two of those.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Prue: I was furious, Trude, because she knew we had the Stockbrokers-in-Crisis polo picnic, and we had to make thirty mini goats' cheese pizzas!
Trude: Why, Flick's like that; she doesn't think! I mean, she and Jeff are grayshsh, and i love seeing them at Noorrsa...
Prue: Yes, but down here she is just too full-on.
Trude: Oh, that reminds me -- that little man from Beechtree and Sons is coming over to talk hoihurba.
Prue: Oh God, I hope he's surba. Oh, we've got stacks of hoihurba left urva from Octurba! (Sees Kath and Kim) You all right there?
Trude Or are you just happy brahzing?
Trude: Why, Flick's like that; she doesn't think! I mean, she and Jeff are grayshsh, and i love seeing them at Noorrsa...
Prue: Yes, but down here she is just too full-on.
Trude: Oh, that reminds me -- that little man from Beechtree and Sons is coming over to talk hoihurba.
Prue: Oh God, I hope he's surba. Oh, we've got stacks of hoihurba left urva from Octurba! (Sees Kath and Kim) You all right there?
Trude Or are you just happy brahzing?
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Heres your statue, Mum! (brings in a statue of little baby cheeses)
Kath: OH! What in the love in God is that?
Kim: It's the statue you wanted, Mum!
Kath: No, its not, Kim!
Kim: Yes, it is! It's a statue of little baby cheeses!
Kath: Little baby cheeses? Oh, little baby "Jesus", Kim. JESUS! (sighs) Oh, Jesus!
Kath: OH! What in the love in God is that?
Kim: It's the statue you wanted, Mum!
Kath: No, its not, Kim!
Kim: Yes, it is! It's a statue of little baby cheeses!
Kath: Little baby cheeses? Oh, little baby "Jesus", Kim. JESUS! (sighs) Oh, Jesus!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: [To Kylie Minogue] Let's celebrate! Would you like a car-donnay, Kylie?
Kath: Stewpid girl, Kim. It's not car-donnay, the correct pronunciation is shah-donnay.
Kim: Mum, it's French, the haitch is silent. Back me up, here, Kylie!
Kylie: Yeah, she's right, Mrs. D., I've been to Paris, and h is silent, it's car-donnay.
Kath: Well, excuse me for living, Kylie.
Kath: Stewpid girl, Kim. It's not car-donnay, the correct pronunciation is shah-donnay.
Kim: Mum, it's French, the haitch is silent. Back me up, here, Kylie!
Kylie: Yeah, she's right, Mrs. D., I've been to Paris, and h is silent, it's car-donnay.
Kath: Well, excuse me for living, Kylie.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kel: What is so wrong with two baby-boomers getting it on for a photo while we're still both incredibly fit?
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: [After Kel experiences heartburn masquerading as angina.] Well, you heard what Dr. Ng said. Gotta go all low-fat from now on. Gotta watch your cholesterol. I mean, I don't want you pushing up the daisies just when I'm smelling the roses.
Kel: It'll be good for us, and I can afford to lose a few kilos. We can see it as a bit of a challenge.
Kath: Yeah! It'll be something to do, won't it, doll? Oh goodie! I feel a bit energized by your near-death experience.
Kel: It'll be good for us, and I can afford to lose a few kilos. We can see it as a bit of a challenge.
Kath: Yeah! It'll be something to do, won't it, doll? Oh goodie! I feel a bit energized by your near-death experience.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Mum, your pants are split.
Kath: Oh, no, I just bought these lovely latte capris. They must have shrunk in the wash.
Kim: No, I think this time you're the one stacking on the kilos! I think for once, the mule is on the other foot.
Kath: You're the mule, you stupid girl.
Kath: Oh, no, I just bought these lovely latte capris. They must have shrunk in the wash.
Kim: No, I think this time you're the one stacking on the kilos! I think for once, the mule is on the other foot.
Kath: You're the mule, you stupid girl.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Brett: "(talking about Epponnee) She could be prime minister..."
Kim: "I'm thinking bigger than that, Brett. She could be on Neighbours!"
Kim: "I'm thinking bigger than that, Brett. She could be on Neighbours!"
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: [In a flash-forward 20 years, to an offscreen Epponnee-Rae.] Epponnee, hurry up! And don't forget your fake-tan.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Epponnee, Silver Lady Coaches called. The flying saucers are going to be here any minute!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: Awww, little Epponnee-Rae, it's alright darling, Epponnee Raelene Charlene Kathleen Darlene Craig. You are getting more and more like your boo-tiful granny as the days go by. Look at her hair, Kimmie, it's getting a nice frizz to it!
Kim: Oh, don't wish that on her! Although, I do think, luckily, personality-wise she's going to be like me.
Kim: Oh, don't wish that on her! Although, I do think, luckily, personality-wise she's going to be like me.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Brett: [In a flash-forward, to his daughter Epponnee, played by Kylie Minogue, on her wedding day] You look like a fairy-tale princess, Epps!
Epponnee: Tell me something I don't know, Dad!
Sharon: I think you look really gorgeous, Epps.
Epponnee: Well, you're only hyew-man!!
Epponnee: Tell me something I don't know, Dad!
Sharon: I think you look really gorgeous, Epps.
Epponnee: Well, you're only hyew-man!!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Sharon! What have you come as?
Sharon: Well, this is my Polish national costume, Kim -- why?
Kim: No! I said pole dancing!
Sharon: Well I'm a Pole, Kim! Strzelecki. Well, half a Pole anyway, on my dad's side.
Kim: NO! Sexy dancing with a pole!
Sharon: Well, that sounds a bit stupid, Kim.
Kim: Oh, it's stupid, is it? So are the people on Big Brother stupid? 'Cause they all do pole dancing.
Sharon: Well, this is my Polish national costume, Kim -- why?
Kim: No! I said pole dancing!
Sharon: Well I'm a Pole, Kim! Strzelecki. Well, half a Pole anyway, on my dad's side.
Kim: NO! Sexy dancing with a pole!
Sharon: Well, that sounds a bit stupid, Kim.
Kim: Oh, it's stupid, is it? So are the people on Big Brother stupid? 'Cause they all do pole dancing.
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kath: I wouldn't be playing the cold shoulder all too often with Brett, you know, Kim. The way he's presenting himself at the moment, he's a most irresistible package.
Kim: Mum, Brett is not having an affair. Why would he go for fillet steak when he's got sausage meat at home? (Receives a text from Sharon telling her about Brett kissing Kelly) Brett had fillet steak last night!
Kim: Mum, Brett is not having an affair. Why would he go for fillet steak when he's got sausage meat at home? (Receives a text from Sharon telling her about Brett kissing Kelly) Brett had fillet steak last night!
TV Show: Kath and Kim
Kim: Stupid Sharon! (To Epponnee Rae) Mummy is a hornbag, isn't she?
Epponnee Rae: Nuh...
Kim: You little b - (brightens) You said your first word!
Epponnee Rae: Nuh...
Kim: You little b - (brightens) You said your first word!
TV Show: Kath and Kim