Kingsman: The Secret Service Quotes
[Eggsy calls the number on the back of his medallion] Operator: Customer complaints. How may I help you?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Um, my name's Eggsy Unwin. Sorry, um, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek; I'm in an urban police station and my mom said to call this number if ever I needed help...
Operator: I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Wait, wait... Oxfords not Brogues?
Operator: Your complaint has been duly noted, and we hope that we've not lost you as a loyal customer.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Um, my name's Eggsy Unwin. Sorry, um, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek; I'm in an urban police station and my mom said to call this number if ever I needed help...
Operator: I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Wait, wait... Oxfords not Brogues?
Operator: Your complaint has been duly noted, and we hope that we've not lost you as a loyal customer.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Eggsy wakes up, tied to a railroad track. He sees the Interrogator approach him with a knife in hand] Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Who the fuck are you? Where am I?
The Interrogator: This knife can save your life. [Eggsy suddenly notices a train approaching]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fuck!
The Interrogator: My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. What the fuck is Kingsman? And who is Harry Hart?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: I don't know who the fuck that is! Shit!
The Interrogator: Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer!
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fuck! Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
The Interrogator: Hey, Eggsy, is Kingsman worth dying for?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fuck yeah! [Train passes over Eggsy. He discovers that the section dropped down before impact. Hart arrives at the scene]
Harry Hart: Congratulations. Bloody well done.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: How'd the others do?
Harry Hart: Roxy passed with flying colours. Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yeah. Alright.
The Interrogator: This knife can save your life. [Eggsy suddenly notices a train approaching]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fuck!
The Interrogator: My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. What the fuck is Kingsman? And who is Harry Hart?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: I don't know who the fuck that is! Shit!
The Interrogator: Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer!
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fuck! Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
The Interrogator: Hey, Eggsy, is Kingsman worth dying for?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fuck yeah! [Train passes over Eggsy. He discovers that the section dropped down before impact. Hart arrives at the scene]
Harry Hart: Congratulations. Bloody well done.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: How'd the others do?
Harry Hart: Roxy passed with flying colours. Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yeah. Alright.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Merlin: Hugo, Digby: you don't land in the K, you're not in the K. Rufus, you opened too soon. You were all over the radar. All three of you, pack your bags. Go home. [the three candidates leave]
Merlin: Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. You set a new record. Opening at 300 feet, that's pretty ballsy. Well done for completing another task. Fall out. [Roxy and Charlie leave. Eggsy stays, angered that he was the one without a parachute]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Sorry, sir, but why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? Am I the expendable candidate?
Merlin: No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. If you have a complaint, you come here and whisper it in my ear. [Eggsy approaches Merlin]
Merlin: You need to take that chip off your shoulder. [Merlin pulls Eggsy's rip cord, revealing that he had a parachute the whole time]
Merlin: Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. You set a new record. Opening at 300 feet, that's pretty ballsy. Well done for completing another task. Fall out. [Roxy and Charlie leave. Eggsy stays, angered that he was the one without a parachute]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Sorry, sir, but why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? Am I the expendable candidate?
Merlin: No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. If you have a complaint, you come here and whisper it in my ear. [Eggsy approaches Merlin]
Merlin: You need to take that chip off your shoulder. [Merlin pulls Eggsy's rip cord, revealing that he had a parachute the whole time]
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Valentine: [From trailer]Mankind is the virus, and I'm the cure.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Harry Hart: [Grabs a fountain pen from the wall]Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. Poison. Harmless when ingested. But at a time, convenient to you... [Pulls pen clip outward]
Harry Hart: It can be remotely activated. Primed. [Pushes clip back]
Harry Hart: Lethal. [Eggsy looks at the gold cigarette lighters on the wall]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: And what about these? What do these do? Electrocute you?
Harry Hart: Don't be ridiculous. It's a hand grenade.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Shut up.
Harry Hart: If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. [Grabs a ring from the wall]
Harry Hart: A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand, but a Kingsman wears it on whatever hand happens to be dominant. If you touch the contact behind the ring, it delivers 50,000 volts.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: [Pointing at the smartphones and tablets on the opposite wall]And what about them? What makes them so special? [Eggsy grabs a lighter while Hart is not looking]
Harry Hart: Nothing. That technology is caught up with the spy world. [Hart and Eggsy head back to the main lobby]
Harry Hart: Put it back, Eggsy. [Eggsy puts the lighter back]
Harry Hart: It can be remotely activated. Primed. [Pushes clip back]
Harry Hart: Lethal. [Eggsy looks at the gold cigarette lighters on the wall]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: And what about these? What do these do? Electrocute you?
Harry Hart: Don't be ridiculous. It's a hand grenade.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Shut up.
Harry Hart: If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. [Grabs a ring from the wall]
Harry Hart: A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand, but a Kingsman wears it on whatever hand happens to be dominant. If you touch the contact behind the ring, it delivers 50,000 volts.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: [Pointing at the smartphones and tablets on the opposite wall]And what about them? What makes them so special? [Eggsy grabs a lighter while Hart is not looking]
Harry Hart: Nothing. That technology is caught up with the spy world. [Hart and Eggsy head back to the main lobby]
Harry Hart: Put it back, Eggsy. [Eggsy puts the lighter back]
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Valentine: [from trailer]If you get blood on the carpet you're going to have to take the carpet up!
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[the Interrogator questions Charlie, who is tied to a railroad track] The Interrogator: Is Kingsman worth dying for?
Charlie: No it fucking isn't! Shit! I'll tell you what you want, please! Chester King's Arthur! Arthur's head of the secret spy agency! It's called Kingsman! Get me out of here!
The Interrogator: Thank you, Charlie. Much appreciated. [Interrogator walks away]
Charlie: No, that wasn't the fucking deal! [Train passes over Charlie and the section he's tied to drops down. Section rises as Arthur arrives at the scene]
Arthur: I had such high hopes for you. You're a bloody disgrace.
Charlie: I'm so sorry. Please untie me.
Arthur: Untie yourself. [Arthur walks away]
Charlie: Arth- Arthur, please. Shit. Anyone! [Merlin, Hart, Eggsy, Roxy, and Percival observe the scene in the control room]
Merlin: Galahad, Percival, congratulations. Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. As tradition allows, you will have 24 hours to spend with them. Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. From now on, there are no safety nets. Understood? [Eggsy and Roxy look at each other and nod to Merlin]
Merlin: Good. Dismissed. [the Kingsman agents and candidates leave the room. Merlin turns around and turns on the loudspeaker at the railway]
Merlin: Charlie, time to go home.
Charlie: Fuck you! Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
Charlie: No it fucking isn't! Shit! I'll tell you what you want, please! Chester King's Arthur! Arthur's head of the secret spy agency! It's called Kingsman! Get me out of here!
The Interrogator: Thank you, Charlie. Much appreciated. [Interrogator walks away]
Charlie: No, that wasn't the fucking deal! [Train passes over Charlie and the section he's tied to drops down. Section rises as Arthur arrives at the scene]
Arthur: I had such high hopes for you. You're a bloody disgrace.
Charlie: I'm so sorry. Please untie me.
Arthur: Untie yourself. [Arthur walks away]
Charlie: Arth- Arthur, please. Shit. Anyone! [Merlin, Hart, Eggsy, Roxy, and Percival observe the scene in the control room]
Merlin: Galahad, Percival, congratulations. Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. As tradition allows, you will have 24 hours to spend with them. Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. From now on, there are no safety nets. Understood? [Eggsy and Roxy look at each other and nod to Merlin]
Merlin: Good. Dismissed. [the Kingsman agents and candidates leave the room. Merlin turns around and turns on the loudspeaker at the railway]
Merlin: Charlie, time to go home.
Charlie: Fuck you! Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: So before you was a tailor, was you in the Army? Like an officer?
Harry Hart: Not quite.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: So where was you posted - Iraq or something?
Harry Hart: Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: But my dad saved your life, yeah?
Harry Hart: The day your father died, I missed something. And if it weren't for his courage, my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. So I owe him. Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I'd think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: You can't talk to me like that.
Harry Hart: Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?
Harry Hart: Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens' gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
Harry Hart: Now of course. Always someone else's fault. Who's to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Then we wouldn't be cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we'd do just as well as you, if not better.
Harry Hart: Not quite.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: So where was you posted - Iraq or something?
Harry Hart: Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: But my dad saved your life, yeah?
Harry Hart: The day your father died, I missed something. And if it weren't for his courage, my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. So I owe him. Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I'd think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: You can't talk to me like that.
Harry Hart: Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?
Harry Hart: Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens' gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
Harry Hart: Now of course. Always someone else's fault. Who's to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Then we wouldn't be cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we'd do just as well as you, if not better.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Lee Unwin prevents a captive terrorist from killing his comrades with a suicide bomb by jumping over him before the explosion. Hart removes his mask] Harry Hart: Shit. Fucking missed it. How did I fucking miss it? Merlin. [Merlin removes his mask]
Harry Hart: I apologise for putting you in this position. You trained him well.
Merlin: James [James removes his mask]
Merlin: Your training... is over.
Harry Hart: Welcome to Kingsman, Lancelot.
Lancelot: Sir.
Harry Hart: [Looking at Unwin's body]I'll deal with this mess... personally.
Harry Hart: I apologise for putting you in this position. You trained him well.
Merlin: James [James removes his mask]
Merlin: Your training... is over.
Harry Hart: Welcome to Kingsman, Lancelot.
Lancelot: Sir.
Harry Hart: [Looking at Unwin's body]I'll deal with this mess... personally.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Eggsy leaves the police station] Harry Hart: Eggsy. Would you like a lift home?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Who are you?
Harry Hart: The man who got you released.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: That ain't an answer.
Harry Hart: A little gratitude would be nice. My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. Your father saved my life.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Who are you?
Harry Hart: The man who got you released.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: That ain't an answer.
Harry Hart: A little gratitude would be nice. My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. Your father saved my life.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Valentine receives a notice that Professor Arnold has been terminated] Valentine: Fuck that guy, whoever he is! I'm gonna... He made me kill Professor Arnold. Goddamn loved Professor Arnold.
Gazelle: Well the good news is we know the emergency surveillance system works.
Valentine: You know what's not good news? 'My colleague died,' that's what he said. This is an organization and they're all over us. Whoever you spoke to...
Gazelle: I told you. I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad, and Beijing. They all insist it wasn't one of theirs.
Valentine: Beijing. So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese Secret Service. Now that's what you call a secret, right? You know what? Fuck it. We need to speed things up. Bring the product release forward.
Gazelle: We're only halfway into production. Speeding it will cost a fortune.
Valentine: Do I look like I give a fuck? Just get it done.
Gazelle: Well the good news is we know the emergency surveillance system works.
Valentine: You know what's not good news? 'My colleague died,' that's what he said. This is an organization and they're all over us. Whoever you spoke to...
Gazelle: I told you. I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad, and Beijing. They all insist it wasn't one of theirs.
Valentine: Beijing. So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese Secret Service. Now that's what you call a secret, right? You know what? Fuck it. We need to speed things up. Bring the product release forward.
Gazelle: We're only halfway into production. Speeding it will cost a fortune.
Valentine: Do I look like I give a fuck? Just get it done.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Arthur: It's all yours. And don't forget your membership proposal. Try picking a more suitable candidate this time.
Harry Hart: Seventeen years and still evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. You don't remind me that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man. He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. More so.
Arthur: But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? Let's face it, Galahad. Your little experiment failed.
Harry Hart: [Gets up and prepares to leave the room]With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
Arthur: With respect?
Harry Hart: The world is changing. There's a reason why aristocrats develop weak chins.
Harry Hart: Seventeen years and still evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. You don't remind me that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man. He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. More so.
Arthur: But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? Let's face it, Galahad. Your little experiment failed.
Harry Hart: [Gets up and prepares to leave the room]With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
Arthur: With respect?
Harry Hart: The world is changing. There's a reason why aristocrats develop weak chins.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Kingsman Tailor: Perfect timing. Gentleman's just finished. [Valentine and Gazelle step out of Fitting Room 1]
Valentine: Mr. DeVere. What a coincidence. You are totally the reason I'm here. When you left my house, I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. And since I'm going to Royal Ascot, apparently you need one of these penguin suits. Here I am. What are you doing here? [Valentine shakes hands with Eggsy]
Valentine: What's up, man? Richmond Valentine.
Harry Hart: This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor.
Valentine: Another coincidence. So am I.
Harry Hart: Did you have any chance to think further on my proposal?
Valentine: Most definitely. My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. I guarantee it.
Harry Hart: A word of advice: Ascot requires top hat. I might suggest Lock & Co. Hatters, St. James.
Valentine: 'Lox', as in smoked fish?
Harry Hart: As in 'locked up'.
Valentine: Oh. I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. You all talk so funny.
Valentine: Mr. DeVere. What a coincidence. You are totally the reason I'm here. When you left my house, I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. And since I'm going to Royal Ascot, apparently you need one of these penguin suits. Here I am. What are you doing here? [Valentine shakes hands with Eggsy]
Valentine: What's up, man? Richmond Valentine.
Harry Hart: This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor.
Valentine: Another coincidence. So am I.
Harry Hart: Did you have any chance to think further on my proposal?
Valentine: Most definitely. My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. I guarantee it.
Harry Hart: A word of advice: Ascot requires top hat. I might suggest Lock & Co. Hatters, St. James.
Valentine: 'Lox', as in smoked fish?
Harry Hart: As in 'locked up'.
Valentine: Oh. I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. You all talk so funny.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Eggsy and JB enter Hart's hospital room] Harry Hart: Ever heard of knocking?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Only when I'm casing a place to rob. Merlin said you wanted to see me. [JB barks at Hart]
Harry Hart: I hope JB's training is going as well as yours is.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Sit. [JB sits]
Harry Hart: Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. [Knock on the door]
Harry Hart: Come in. [Merlin enters the room]
Merlin: Ah. Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. You're dismissed.
Harry Hart: Nonsense. Let him observe. He might learn a thing or two.
Merlin: As you wish. Take a look at this. [Merlin plays the video recording of Professor Arnold's head exploding]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fucking hell! That's just rank, Harry. You blew up his head. It's a bit much, ain't it?
Merlin: Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. Here, under that scar.
Harry Hart: Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it?
Merlin: Fortunately, yes. Unfortunately, the IP address it traced it to is registered to the Valentine Corporation.
Harry Hart: That's not much of a lead. They have millions of employees worldwide.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: That Richmond Valentine's a genius. [Surprised look by Hart and Merlin]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Did you not see his announcement today? [Eggsy grabs Merlin's clipboard and sets the TV to Valentine's speech]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Only when I'm casing a place to rob. Merlin said you wanted to see me. [JB barks at Hart]
Harry Hart: I hope JB's training is going as well as yours is.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Sit. [JB sits]
Harry Hart: Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. [Knock on the door]
Harry Hart: Come in. [Merlin enters the room]
Merlin: Ah. Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. You're dismissed.
Harry Hart: Nonsense. Let him observe. He might learn a thing or two.
Merlin: As you wish. Take a look at this. [Merlin plays the video recording of Professor Arnold's head exploding]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Fucking hell! That's just rank, Harry. You blew up his head. It's a bit much, ain't it?
Merlin: Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. Here, under that scar.
Harry Hart: Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it?
Merlin: Fortunately, yes. Unfortunately, the IP address it traced it to is registered to the Valentine Corporation.
Harry Hart: That's not much of a lead. They have millions of employees worldwide.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: That Richmond Valentine's a genius. [Surprised look by Hart and Merlin]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Did you not see his announcement today? [Eggsy grabs Merlin's clipboard and sets the TV to Valentine's speech]
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Harry Hart: [Harry to thugs in the bar]Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: [Eggsy to thugs in the bar]Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: [Eggsy to thugs in the bar]Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Valentine notices the people in the party room looking gloomy] Valentine: The fuck's wrong with them?
Gazelle: I don't know. Could be something to do with the mass genocide.
Valentine: Give me the mic. [Gazelle hands Valentine a microphone. Valentine stands up]
Valentine: Hey all! Everybody listen up! What the fuck is wrong with you people? I just want to remind you all that today is a day of celebration. We must put aside all thoughts of death, and focus on birth. The birth of a new age. We mustn't mourn the ones who give their lives today. We should honor their sacrifice, and their role in saving the human race. We must put aside doubts and guilt. You are the chosen people. When folks tell their kids the story about Noah's Ark, is Noah the bad guy? [Crowd says no]
Valentine: Is God the bad guy? [Crowd says no]
Valentine: How about the animals marching two by two? [Crowd says no]
Valentine: Of course not! Yeah, that's it! Let's turn those frowns upside down. Eat, drink, and paaaaarty!
Gazelle: I don't know. Could be something to do with the mass genocide.
Valentine: Give me the mic. [Gazelle hands Valentine a microphone. Valentine stands up]
Valentine: Hey all! Everybody listen up! What the fuck is wrong with you people? I just want to remind you all that today is a day of celebration. We must put aside all thoughts of death, and focus on birth. The birth of a new age. We mustn't mourn the ones who give their lives today. We should honor their sacrifice, and their role in saving the human race. We must put aside doubts and guilt. You are the chosen people. When folks tell their kids the story about Noah's Ark, is Noah the bad guy? [Crowd says no]
Valentine: Is God the bad guy? [Crowd says no]
Valentine: How about the animals marching two by two? [Crowd says no]
Valentine: Of course not! Yeah, that's it! Let's turn those frowns upside down. Eat, drink, and paaaaarty!
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Valentine: [showing a photo of Lancelot's corpse]Great, you don't know, the CIA don't know. Nobody knows who this guy is? Fine. Seriously, it's fine. Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. I could've retired straight out of M.I.T., fucked off to some island and let the business run itself. Nobody told me to try and save the planet. I wanted to. Climate change research, lobbying, years of studying, billions of dollars, and you know why I quit? Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. Hence, my epiphany. Money won't solve this. Those idiots that call themselves politicians have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. And I found it. Now, if you really wanna make the world a better place, I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you.
President: Go on, Mr. Valentine. I'm still listening.
Valentine: As long as you agree to all my terms.
President: Go on, Mr. Valentine. I'm still listening.
Valentine: As long as you agree to all my terms.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Harry Hart: I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. I hope you understand that.
Michelle Unwin: How can I understand, if you won't tell me anything? I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad.
Harry Hart: I'm so sorry I can't say more. I would like to present to you this medal of valour. If you look closely on the back, there's a number. And as a more concrete gesture of gratitude, we'd like to offer you a... Let's call it a favour. The nature of it is your choice. Just tell the operator: 'Oxfords, not Brogues.' And then they'll know it's you.
Michelle Unwin: I don't want your help! [Pushing away the medal]
Michelle Unwin: I want my husband back! [Sobs]
Michelle Unwin: [Hart walks away and approaches little Eggsy, who is playing with a snow globe]
Harry Hart: What's your name, young man.
Little Eggsy: Eggsy.
Harry Hart: Hello, Eggsy. Can I see that? [Eggsy gives Hart the snow globe. Hart gives Eggsy the medal]
Harry Hart: You take care of this, Eggsy. Alright? [Eggsy nods]
Harry Hart: And take care of your mum, too.
Michelle Unwin: How can I understand, if you won't tell me anything? I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad.
Harry Hart: I'm so sorry I can't say more. I would like to present to you this medal of valour. If you look closely on the back, there's a number. And as a more concrete gesture of gratitude, we'd like to offer you a... Let's call it a favour. The nature of it is your choice. Just tell the operator: 'Oxfords, not Brogues.' And then they'll know it's you.
Michelle Unwin: I don't want your help! [Pushing away the medal]
Michelle Unwin: I want my husband back! [Sobs]
Michelle Unwin: [Hart walks away and approaches little Eggsy, who is playing with a snow globe]
Harry Hart: What's your name, young man.
Little Eggsy: Eggsy.
Harry Hart: Hello, Eggsy. Can I see that? [Eggsy gives Hart the snow globe. Hart gives Eggsy the medal]
Harry Hart: You take care of this, Eggsy. Alright? [Eggsy nods]
Harry Hart: And take care of your mum, too.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Merlin: Congratulations on completing your first task. Charlie, Roxy, well done. For those of you who are still confused, if you can get a breathing tube through the U-bend of a toilet, you have an unlimited air supply. Simple physics... worth remembering. Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror.
Charlie: He's probably seen enough of them.
Merlin: Yeah, you can all wipe the smirk off your faces because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. You all forgot the most important thing: Teamwork. [Merlin points at the quarters. The candidates get up and see that Amelia has drowned]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: So much for classic army technique.
Charlie: He's probably seen enough of them.
Merlin: Yeah, you can all wipe the smirk off your faces because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. You all forgot the most important thing: Teamwork. [Merlin points at the quarters. The candidates get up and see that Amelia has drowned]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: So much for classic army technique.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Professor Arnold enters the lecture room and sees Hart] Professor Arnold: Hello. Can I help you?
Harry Hart: Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force.
Professor Arnold: [pleased]Oh? Really? Well, it's actually quite fascinating... [Hart suddenly grabs Professor Arnold by the ear]
Harry Hart: My colleague died trying to rescue you, and I'm sure you saw how well-trained he was. So I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go.
Professor Arnold: I have no idea what you're talk... [Hart slaps Professor Arnold]
Professor Arnold: I'm not supposed to say it, but it was... [Professor Arnold suddenly writhes in pain]
Harry Hart: For God's sake, I barely touched you. Oh, man up... [Professor Arnold's head explodes in front of Hart. A dazed Hart looks to the right and sees two armed assailants. He sets a grenade and jumps out the window]
Harry Hart: Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force.
Professor Arnold: [pleased]Oh? Really? Well, it's actually quite fascinating... [Hart suddenly grabs Professor Arnold by the ear]
Harry Hart: My colleague died trying to rescue you, and I'm sure you saw how well-trained he was. So I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go.
Professor Arnold: I have no idea what you're talk... [Hart slaps Professor Arnold]
Professor Arnold: I'm not supposed to say it, but it was... [Professor Arnold suddenly writhes in pain]
Harry Hart: For God's sake, I barely touched you. Oh, man up... [Professor Arnold's head explodes in front of Hart. A dazed Hart looks to the right and sees two armed assailants. He sets a grenade and jumps out the window]
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Valentine: We each spend, on average, $2,000 a year on cell phone and Internet usage. It gives me great pleasure to announce, those days are over. As of tomorrow, every man, woman, and child can claim a free SIM card that's compatible with any cell phone, any computer, and utilize my communications network for free. Free Calls. Free Internet. For Everyone. Forever.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Eggsy arrives at the Kingsman conference room] Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Arthur, Harry's dead.
Arthur: *Galahad* is dead. Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Well then you know what that psycho is doing. How many people in the world have got those SIM cards? Valentine can send the signal to any of them, all of them! If they all go homicidal at the same time, then...
Arthur: Indeed. And thanks to Galahad's recordings, we have Valentine's confession. The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. Our work is complete. And a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend it is, too.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: And that's it?
Arthur: Come sit down, boy. [Eggsy sits at Hart's former spot]
Arthur: This... is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy, and we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. Galahad was very fond of you. [as Arthur reaches for the decanter, Eggsy notices the scar behind his right ear, indicating that he has a transponder implanted in his head]
Arthur: And on this occasion, I think it is acceptable for us... to bend the rules a little. [after Arthur pours the brandy into two glasses, Eggsy points at the paintings on the wall]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: These are all Kingsmen? [Arthur turns to look at the paintings]
Arthur: Yes, they're the founder members. [Arthur turns back toward Eggsy]
Arthur: I want you to join me in a toast. To Galahad. [Both men toast each other]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: To Galahad. [They drink their brandy]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Harry says you don't like to break rules often. Why now?
Arthur: You're very good, Eggsy. Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position, provided of course we can see eye-to-eye on certain political matters.
Arthur: *Galahad* is dead. Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Well then you know what that psycho is doing. How many people in the world have got those SIM cards? Valentine can send the signal to any of them, all of them! If they all go homicidal at the same time, then...
Arthur: Indeed. And thanks to Galahad's recordings, we have Valentine's confession. The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. Our work is complete. And a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend it is, too.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: And that's it?
Arthur: Come sit down, boy. [Eggsy sits at Hart's former spot]
Arthur: This... is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy, and we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. Galahad was very fond of you. [as Arthur reaches for the decanter, Eggsy notices the scar behind his right ear, indicating that he has a transponder implanted in his head]
Arthur: And on this occasion, I think it is acceptable for us... to bend the rules a little. [after Arthur pours the brandy into two glasses, Eggsy points at the paintings on the wall]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: These are all Kingsmen? [Arthur turns to look at the paintings]
Arthur: Yes, they're the founder members. [Arthur turns back toward Eggsy]
Arthur: I want you to join me in a toast. To Galahad. [Both men toast each other]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: To Galahad. [They drink their brandy]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Harry says you don't like to break rules often. Why now?
Arthur: You're very good, Eggsy. Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position, provided of course we can see eye-to-eye on certain political matters.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Merlin: [to plummeting sky divers]I hope not to be scraping one of you up. But if I do have to, and you're inside the target, please know I'll be very impressed.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Harry Hart: Huge IQ. Great performance in the marines, but ya gave up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Merlin: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. You are about to embark on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. [Grabs bag on bed]
Merlin: Can anybody tell me what this is? [All candidates except Eggsy raise their hand. Merlin selects Charlie]
Merlin: Yes?
Charlie: Body bag, sir.
Merlin: Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
Charlie: Yes, sir.
Merlin: Good. In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. You will write your name on that bag. You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. This represents your acknowledgment of the risks you are about to face, as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality, which incidentally if you break, will result in you and your next of kin being in that bag. Is that understood? [All candidates except Eggsy, still with a confused look, nod]
Merlin: Excellent. Fall out.
Merlin: Can anybody tell me what this is? [All candidates except Eggsy raise their hand. Merlin selects Charlie]
Merlin: Yes?
Charlie: Body bag, sir.
Merlin: Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
Charlie: Yes, sir.
Merlin: Good. In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. You will write your name on that bag. You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. This represents your acknowledgment of the risks you are about to face, as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality, which incidentally if you break, will result in you and your next of kin being in that bag. Is that understood? [All candidates except Eggsy, still with a confused look, nod]
Merlin: Excellent. Fall out.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
[Gazelle places the blankets over the corpses, then opens the door to welcome Valentine with a glass of whisky] Gazelle: Everything is clean.
Valentine: My kind of welcome. [Valentine sips whisky before approaching Professor Arnold]
Valentine: No stomach for violence. I mean, literally. I see one drop of blood, that is me, done. I'm like... [simulating a vomiting motion]
Valentine: projectile. Listen, I'm so sorry you had to witness all this unpleasantness, due to our uninvited guest. But I promise you: By the time I find out who he works for, you and I will be the best of friends.
Valentine: My kind of welcome. [Valentine sips whisky before approaching Professor Arnold]
Valentine: No stomach for violence. I mean, literally. I see one drop of blood, that is me, done. I'm like... [simulating a vomiting motion]
Valentine: projectile. Listen, I'm so sorry you had to witness all this unpleasantness, due to our uninvited guest. But I promise you: By the time I find out who he works for, you and I will be the best of friends.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Kingsman Tailor: I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentlemen is completing his fitting. Fitting Room Two is available.
Harry Hart: One does not use Fitting Room Two when popping one's cherry. Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait.
Harry Hart: One does not use Fitting Room Two when popping one's cherry. Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait.
Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service