Law and Order Quotes

Schiff: Clarence Darrow had Leopold and Loeb. Who do we have?
McCoy: Beavis and Butthead.

TV Show: Law and Order
Ross: The Church protects murderers, the law says two people can fire the same bullet, and the victim's mother forgives her son's killers. You figure it out.
McCoy: You don't think you could? Forgive them, I mean?
Ross: No.
McCoy: Neither could I. What does that say about us?

TV Show: Law and Order
Defense Attorney: I got bent over a chair by Miss Ross before. Now I'm getting another tingling sensation in my butt. Why is that?
Ross: ...wishful thinking?

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: He kills three people and hides behind the bottle.
Ross: The law says he can.
McCoy: The law. [scoffs] Probably written on a cocktail napkin. Intent follows the bullet! It shouldn't matter if it was fired by a drunk or Carrie Nation.

TV Show: Law and Order
Dr. Burke's Husband: You killed my wife to win a divorce case -- and you're sorry?!

TV Show: Law and Order
[New ADA Abbie Carmichael has just had a seven year old boy with Attachment Disorder arrested for murdering his adopted baby sister, without consulting McCoy.]
McCoy: I hear you're adding a children's wing to Death Row.

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: I could probably get an indictment for manslaughter.
Carmichael: Manslaughter?! They never gave that baby a chance. They faked an identity for her. They never told anyone she needed medical attention.
Schiff: I don't see any intent here to kill this baby.
Carmichael: It's depraved indifference. Murder two. They knew the baby was going to die. They didn't care one way or the other.
Schiff: Assumption. Charge them with Man-one.
Carmichael: We send a message that it's sort of okay to kill a baby? This isn't a couple of teenagers who killed their newborn because they were scared. These are two adults who went to a lot of trouble to dump a dying child and to cover their tracks. I may be the new kid here, but to me this sounds like murder.

TV Show: Law and Order
[McCoy and Carmichael are disagreeing on whether or not to accept a plea bargain]
McCoy: Three to six years in a state prison is not a cake walk. How many drug dealers got a free pass from you?
Carmichael: The ones who could give me someone bigger in return. All the Connerys have to offer is their plea bargain remorse. She's still trying to blame it on Kostov. Did you see her husband cut her off?
McCoy: She is the least culpable of the three.
Carmichael: [exasperated] Oh gentlemen, please. That sorry excuse for a woman has a hole in her soul.
Schiff: That's enough.
McCoy: I can take care of myself Adam.
Schiff: Then remain objective. It was Edward Connerys actions that directly caused the little girl's death; and he's an attorney. He knew what he was doing.
McCoy: The Connerys' will never do this again. Kostov has and will, over and over again.
Schiff: Are Kostov's children better off in the new homes?
Carmichael: All but Marianna. [beat] I have a solution that will make us all happy.
McCoy: What's that?
Carmichael: No deals for anybody. Let's hang 'em all.
Schiff: [starts laughing]

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: Man-1 all around. I'll start working on the pre-sentencing reports. Any suggestions?
McCoy: You mean you should spend more time in prison, Kostov or the Connerys? Don't get me started.
Carmichael: We can always skip the report. Take no position and leave it to the judge.
McCoy: [wearily] Let's do that. For the sake of world peace.
Carmichael: The Waring's filed a petition to get their son back. We have until the end of the week to file our objections.
McCoy: [Holds his hand out] Can you and I agree that we're too busy?
Carmichael: [Turns his hand up and slaps it] Deal. [walks off]

TV Show: Law and Order
Briscoe: Good old Ray-Ray. The trick was giving him a number he couldn't forget. Three: rhymes with "squeegee".
Carmichael: [looks stunned/horrified]

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: Your first death sentence! You OK with it?
Carmichael: I only have one thing bothering me. Ray-Ray, the squeegee man? The cops told him which one was Fortelli.
McCoy: I know, I told them to. Perfectly legal. We were never going to use the identification at trial anyway.
Carmichael: Legal or not --
McCoy: Major felonies, Abbie. Welcome to the bigs.

TV Show: Law and Order
Abbie Carmichael: "Nice" for Stephanie seems to mean she hasn't killed you yet.

TV Show: Law and Order
Abbie Carmichael: [Annoyed that McCoy is willing to plea out a murder suspect in return for secret police files] For God's sake, Jack, why don't you just start your own country? No cops, no bad guys, just sweetness and light as far as the eye can see!

TV Show: Law and Order
Jack McCoy: If the police department doesn't want to be embarrassed by its behavior, perhaps it shouldn't behave that way!

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: No crime, no cover up. Three people dead and no one's accountable.
Schiff: Justice on a budget. What'd you end up charging them with?
Carmichael: Tampering with evidence. An E felony.
Schiff: Oh.
Carmichael: We arraigned them, they posted bail. Two thousand dollars. Then they walk away from three murders.
McCoy: We can always hope they jump bail.

TV Show: Law and Order
Schiff: Whatever happened to sending the kid to her room?
Carmichael: They tried that. The mother kept her chained to a radiator.

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: There's no church here! Rose Hallacy was a loose cannon!
McCoy: Who didn't take a dime from Margot Gracen or anybody else, ministered to these people out of the goodness of her heart, gave up worldly things to do the work of God.
Carmichael: Spoken like a parochial schoolboy.
McCoy: Six years at St. Ignatius.
Carmichael: Did they teach you how to do exorcisms, Jack?
McCoy: They taught us to have a healthy respect for the devil.
Carmichael: The only devil in this case is the woman we're trying for murder.

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: Doctors. I can't believe my mother wanted me to marry one.

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: It may be time to make the best deal we can with all of them. Two years probation, a fine.
Carmichael: Oh, a fine! Ouch! Those poor doctors might have to hock one of their Porsche's.
McCoy: Abby, there isn't much of a case left.
Carmichael: But there's still a victim! Jack, she went in a healthy woman, she came out a corpse!
McCoy: Between the two of us, depraved indifference is a reach. Criminally negligent homicide is a gift! I wouldn't squander it.
Carmichael: You make excuses, I'll make the case.

TV Show: Law and Order
Defense Attorney: Ms. Carmichael, we'd like to discuss a deal.
Carmichael: Why should I cut your client a break?
Defense Attorney: Well, you haven't proven negligence yet.
Carmichael: But here you are.

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: Did Pelham ever complain to internal affairs about her? That she assaulted him or was stalking him?
IA Lieutenant: We don't have anything on file like that. We got reports she spends a lot of time in the gym with her fellow female officers.
McCoy: Your point?
IA Lieutenant: Maybe she's got a problem with men.
Carmichael: Thank you for dropping by, lieutenant. Careful you don't get carpet burns on your knuckles.

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: After six years, I still don't know what cops are about.
McCoy: I grew up with one. I don't know, either.
Carmichael: Well, they're real good at circling the wagons to protect themselves from the likes of us.
McCoy: And who protects them from each other?

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: Andrew Hampton accepted our offer. Attempted Man 1, six to twelve years in jail.
Carmichael: Well hopefully his sister will be joining him.
McCoy: You don't think he can convince a jury Nicole put him up to it?
Carmichael: I think she'll toss her hair back a few times and convince them she didn't.
McCoy: Really cynical, Abby.

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: Any indication it's Clemente?
Carmichael: The cops asked him for a DNA sample, he refused.
McCoy: Did he have a reason?
Carmichael: Outrage. He says the suspicion of him is racist.
Schiff: Only Hispanic professor on a white campus. Could be he's right.
Carmichael: Could be he did it.
McCoy: Let's make sure we're not trashing this man's reputation just because he's uncooperative.
Carmichael: But let's not let it go just because he's screaming racism!

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: Tell Mr. Margolis he can stuff his motion to dismiss.

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: Malenkov's gotta be making a quarter of a million a month by massaging sore muscles.
McCoy: Ain't America grand?
Carmichael: You've gotta hand it to him, though. He's been here six years, he's working the system like a slot machine. I'm still trying to figure out alternate side of the street parking.

TV Show: Law and Order
Van Buren: Latent got a pop on their fingerprints from a murder in Dade County six months ago.
Carmichael: Oh, the Sunshine State. Have knives, will travel.

TV Show: Law and Order
McCoy: This case started with a single murder committed to gain control of a Russian bank to launder dirty money. It's all about the money. We connect Volsky, Malenkov, Pinella to those bags at J.F.K., we can get them for everything.
Carmichael: A RICO case.
McCoy: Let's get started.

TV Show: Law and Order
Schiff: I'm ordering police protection for both of you. I don't want martyrs, I want convictions. How's that coming along?
Carmichael: Slower than molasses.
Schiff: Yep.
Carmichael: But we found a new player. One of the overseas accounts running currency from the Russians is controlled by the Matterra family.
Van Buren: The Sicilian mob.
Carmichael: The Russians are positioning themselves to be money launderers for the world.
Schiff: Lenin must be spinning in his mausoleum.

TV Show: Law and Order
Carmichael: Girlfriend went wheels up two days ago. One step ahead of our subpoena. She took a flight out of Montreal, emptied her London account.
McCoy: I guess she wanted to save Volsky the bother of having to kill her.

TV Show: Law and Order