Magnolia Quotes
Frank T.J. Mackey : Do you think they're your friends? They're not your friends. Do you really think she'll be there when things go bad? Huh? When things go wrong? You think again. Fucking Denise. Denise the piece. Oh, you're gonna give me that cherry pie sweet mama baby.
Movie: Magnolia
[ Claudia kisses Jim ]
Claudia Wilson Gator : I wanted to do that.
Jim Kurring : Well...
Claudia Wilson Gator : That felt good to do - to do what I wanted to do.
Claudia Wilson Gator : I wanted to do that.
Jim Kurring : Well...
Claudia Wilson Gator : That felt good to do - to do what I wanted to do.
Movie: Magnolia
Claudia Wilson Gator : I'm really nervous that you're gonna hate me soon. You're gonna find stuff out about me and you're gonna hate me.
Jim Kurring : No. Like what? What do you mean?
Claudia Wilson Gator : You have so much - so many good things. And you seem so together. You're a police officer and you seem so straight and put together - without any problems.
Jim Kurring : I lost my gun today.
Claudia Wilson Gator : What?
Jim Kurring : I lost my gun today when I left you and I'm the laughingstock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know and it's on my mind. And it makes me look like a fool. And I feel like a fool. And you asked that we should say things - that we should say what we're thinking and not lie about things. Well, I can tell you that, this, that I lost my gun today - and I am not a good cop. And I'm looked down at. And I know that. And I'm scared that once you find that out you may not like me.
Claudia Wilson Gator : Jim. That, that was so...
Jim Kurring : I'm sorry.
Claudia Wilson Gator : - great. What you just said.
Jim Kurring : No. Like what? What do you mean?
Claudia Wilson Gator : You have so much - so many good things. And you seem so together. You're a police officer and you seem so straight and put together - without any problems.
Jim Kurring : I lost my gun today.
Claudia Wilson Gator : What?
Jim Kurring : I lost my gun today when I left you and I'm the laughingstock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know and it's on my mind. And it makes me look like a fool. And I feel like a fool. And you asked that we should say things - that we should say what we're thinking and not lie about things. Well, I can tell you that, this, that I lost my gun today - and I am not a good cop. And I'm looked down at. And I know that. And I'm scared that once you find that out you may not like me.
Claudia Wilson Gator : Jim. That, that was so...
Jim Kurring : I'm sorry.
Claudia Wilson Gator : - great. What you just said.
Movie: Magnolia
Claudia Wilson Gator : You don't know how fucking stupid I am.
Jim Kurring : It's okay.
Claudia Wilson Gator : You don't know how *crazy* I am.
Jim Kurring : It's okay.
Claudia Wilson Gator : I got troubles, okay?
Jim Kurring : I'll take everything at face value. I'll be a good listener.
Claudia Wilson Gator : I started this didn't I, didn't I - fuck.
Jim Kurring : Whatever it is, just say it, you'll see.
Claudia Wilson Gator : ...You wanna kiss me, Jim?
Jim Kurring : Yes, I do.
Jim Kurring : It's okay.
Claudia Wilson Gator : You don't know how *crazy* I am.
Jim Kurring : It's okay.
Claudia Wilson Gator : I got troubles, okay?
Jim Kurring : I'll take everything at face value. I'll be a good listener.
Claudia Wilson Gator : I started this didn't I, didn't I - fuck.
Jim Kurring : Whatever it is, just say it, you'll see.
Claudia Wilson Gator : ...You wanna kiss me, Jim?
Jim Kurring : Yes, I do.
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring : Let me tell you something, this is not an easy job. I get a call on the radio, dispatch, it's bad news. And it stinks. But this is my job and I love it. Because I want to do well - in this life and in this world, I want to do well. And I want to help people. And I might get twenty bad calls a day. But one time I can help someone and make a save - correct a wrong or right a situation - then I'm a happy cop. And as we move through this life we should try and do good. Do good... And if we can do that, and not hurt anyone else, well... then...
Movie: Magnolia
[ last lines ]
Jim Kurring : [ to Claudia ] I can't let this go. I can't let you go. Now, you... you listen to me now. You're a good person. You're a good and beautiful person and I won't let you walk out on me. And I won't let you say those things - those things about how stupid you are and this and that. I won't stand for that. You want to be with me... then you be with me. You see? [ Claudia smiles ]
Jim Kurring : [ to Claudia ] I can't let this go. I can't let you go. Now, you... you listen to me now. You're a good person. You're a good and beautiful person and I won't let you walk out on me. And I won't let you say those things - those things about how stupid you are and this and that. I won't stand for that. You want to be with me... then you be with me. You see? [ Claudia smiles ]
Movie: Magnolia
Young Pharmacy Kid : Strong, strong stuff here. What exactly you have wrong, you need all this stuff?
Linda Partridge : Motherfucker...
Young Pharmacy Kid : What are you talking about?
Linda Partridge : Who the fuck are you, who the fuck do you think you are? I come in here, you don't know me, you don't know who I am, what my life is, you have the balls, the indecency to ask me a question about my life?
Old Pharmacist : Please, lady, why don't you calm down - ?
Linda Partridge : Fuck you, too. Don't call me "lady". I come in here, I give these things to you, you check, you make your phone calls, look suspicious, ask questions. I'm sick. I have sickness all around me and you fucking ask me about my life? "What's wrong?" Have you seen death in your bed? In your house? Where's your fucking decency? And then I'm asked fucking questions. What's... wrong? You suck my dick. That's what's wrong. And you, you fucking call me "lady"? Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on both of you.
Linda Partridge : Motherfucker...
Young Pharmacy Kid : What are you talking about?
Linda Partridge : Who the fuck are you, who the fuck do you think you are? I come in here, you don't know me, you don't know who I am, what my life is, you have the balls, the indecency to ask me a question about my life?
Old Pharmacist : Please, lady, why don't you calm down - ?
Linda Partridge : Fuck you, too. Don't call me "lady". I come in here, I give these things to you, you check, you make your phone calls, look suspicious, ask questions. I'm sick. I have sickness all around me and you fucking ask me about my life? "What's wrong?" Have you seen death in your bed? In your house? Where's your fucking decency? And then I'm asked fucking questions. What's... wrong? You suck my dick. That's what's wrong. And you, you fucking call me "lady"? Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on both of you.
Movie: Magnolia
Alan Kligman, Esq. : Linda, stop. Now you take a moment, you breathe, and one thing at a time.
Linda Partridge : Shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : You know what would help you, Linda?
Linda Partridge : Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : You need to sober up.
Linda Partridge : Now, you must *really* shut the fuck up now, please - shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : Linda.
Linda Partridge : I have to go.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : Let me call you a car, Linda.
Linda Partridge : Shut the fuck up.
Linda Partridge : Shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : You know what would help you, Linda?
Linda Partridge : Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : You need to sober up.
Linda Partridge : Now, you must *really* shut the fuck up now, please - shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : Linda.
Linda Partridge : I have to go.
Alan Kligman, Esq. : Let me call you a car, Linda.
Linda Partridge : Shut the fuck up.
Movie: Magnolia
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm sick... I'm sick here now. I confuse melancholy with depression sometimes. You see?
Thurston Howell : Why don't you run along now, friend? Your dessert is getting cold.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm sick.
Thurston Howell : Stay that way.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm sick, and I'm in love.
Thurston Howell : You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : That's right! That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two, and I don't care! [ to Brad ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I love you. I love you, and I'm sick. I'll talk to you - I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm getting corrective oral surgery tomorrow... for my teeth. I love you, Brad. Brad the bartender. You want to love me back? I'll be good to you. I'll be goddamn good for you. I won't be mad if you don't know who said what. I won't punish you if you get the answer wrong. I can teach you, and tell you...
Thurston Howell : Brad, you have a special secret crush over there, I think. Don't treat him too lovely. He might get hurt...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : - You, shut up! Mind your own business!
Thurston Howell : Gently, son!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Brad, I know you don't love me now.
Thurston Howell : It's a dangerous thing to confuse children with angels.
Thurston Howell : Why don't you run along now, friend? Your dessert is getting cold.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm sick.
Thurston Howell : Stay that way.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm sick, and I'm in love.
Thurston Howell : You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : That's right! That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two, and I don't care! [ to Brad ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I love you. I love you, and I'm sick. I'll talk to you - I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm getting corrective oral surgery tomorrow... for my teeth. I love you, Brad. Brad the bartender. You want to love me back? I'll be good to you. I'll be goddamn good for you. I won't be mad if you don't know who said what. I won't punish you if you get the answer wrong. I can teach you, and tell you...
Thurston Howell : Brad, you have a special secret crush over there, I think. Don't treat him too lovely. He might get hurt...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : - You, shut up! Mind your own business!
Thurston Howell : Gently, son!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Brad, I know you don't love me now.
Thurston Howell : It's a dangerous thing to confuse children with angels.
Movie: Magnolia
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm sick and I'm in love.
Thurston Howell : You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : That's right. That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two and I don't care.
Thurston Howell : You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : That's right. That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two and I don't care.
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring : Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail.
Movie: Magnolia
Frank T.J. Mackey : I'll tell you what I want you to do, Janet! I want you to do your fucking job!
Movie: Magnolia
Avi Solomon : Donnie, you got struck by lightning last summer you were on vacation in Tahoe, I don't think braces is a good idea.
Movie: Magnolia
Rose Gator : Say it, Jimmy.
Jimmy Gator : I think she thinks... that I may have... molested her. She thinks terrible things that somehow got into her head... that I may have done. She said that to me last time, when it was... ten years ago, she walked out the door. "You touched me wrong. I know that." Some crazy thought in her head.
Rose Gator : Did you ever touch her?
Jimmy Gator : I don't know.
Rose Gator : [ covers her mouth in disgust ] ... Jimmy!...
Jimmy Gator : I don't know. I really don't.
Rose Gator : But you can't say!
Jimmy Gator : I don't know what I've done.
Rose Gator : [ angering ] Yes, you do. You do! But you won't say!
Jimmy Gator : I don't know. What? Please? Please.
Rose Gator : You deserve to die alone for what you've done!
Jimmy Gator : I don't know what I've done!
Rose Gator : [ beginning to cry ] Yes, you do!
Jimmy Gator : Rose, if I said that I knew, would you stay?
Rose Gator : No!
Jimmy Gator : But I don't know what I've done.
Rose Gator : You should know better!
Jimmy Gator : I think she thinks... that I may have... molested her. She thinks terrible things that somehow got into her head... that I may have done. She said that to me last time, when it was... ten years ago, she walked out the door. "You touched me wrong. I know that." Some crazy thought in her head.
Rose Gator : Did you ever touch her?
Jimmy Gator : I don't know.
Rose Gator : [ covers her mouth in disgust ] ... Jimmy!...
Jimmy Gator : I don't know. I really don't.
Rose Gator : But you can't say!
Jimmy Gator : I don't know what I've done.
Rose Gator : [ angering ] Yes, you do. You do! But you won't say!
Jimmy Gator : I don't know. What? Please? Please.
Rose Gator : You deserve to die alone for what you've done!
Jimmy Gator : I don't know what I've done!
Rose Gator : [ beginning to cry ] Yes, you do!
Jimmy Gator : Rose, if I said that I knew, would you stay?
Rose Gator : No!
Jimmy Gator : But I don't know what I've done.
Rose Gator : You should know better!
Movie: Magnolia
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : Do you know who I am?
Thurston Howell : You're a friend of the family, I presume.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : What does that mean?
Thurston Howell : Nothing special. Just a spoke in the wheel.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : You talk in rhymes and riddles and r-Rub-a-Dub. But that doesn't mean anything to me. See, I used to be smart. I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith. [ loudly ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith, from TV.
Thurston Howell : It might have been before my time.
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : I remember. In the Sixties, right?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.
Thurston Howell : Like you said.
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : Smart kid! You got struck by lightning once.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : So what?
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : I heard about that.
Smiling Peanut Patron #2 : Did it hurt?
Thurston Howell : But you're all right now. So what's the what?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : What?
Thurston Howell : That's right.
Thurston Howell : You're a friend of the family, I presume.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : What does that mean?
Thurston Howell : Nothing special. Just a spoke in the wheel.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : You talk in rhymes and riddles and r-Rub-a-Dub. But that doesn't mean anything to me. See, I used to be smart. I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith. [ loudly ]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith, from TV.
Thurston Howell : It might have been before my time.
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : I remember. In the Sixties, right?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.
Thurston Howell : Like you said.
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : Smart kid! You got struck by lightning once.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : So what?
Smiling Peanut Patron #1 : I heard about that.
Smiling Peanut Patron #2 : Did it hurt?
Thurston Howell : But you're all right now. So what's the what?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith : What?
Thurston Howell : That's right.
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring : ...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't... and I will listen... I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want... and you know, you know... I won't judge you... I can do that sometimes, I know, but I won't... I can... listen to you and you shouldn't be scared of scaring me off or anything that you might think I'll think or on and on and just say it and I'll listen to you...
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring : Now, some neighbors claimed they heard screaming and a loud crash.
Marcie : I don't even know no loud crash.
Marcie : I don't even know no loud crash.
Movie: Magnolia
[ Officer Kurring has just handcuffed Marcie to a couch ]
Marcie : This is bullshit. This is fuckin' bullshit.
Jim Kurring : I want you to stay right there, Marcie.
Marcie : This is bullshit motherfucker. Mother-goddamn-fucker it's bullshit and you know it! [ Officer Kurring moves down the hall to investigate a disturbance ]
Marcie : Don't go down my hallway! Don't go down my motherfuckin' hallway! This is bullshit motherfucker! Don't go in my god damn bedroom!
Jim Kurring : This is the LAPD. If there's someone back here...
Marcie : What I tell you? What I tell you? Ain't nobody in there! Where the fuck you goin' motherfuck? Don't go in my motherfuckin' bedroom and stay outta my motherfuckin' closet! [ Officer Kurring enters her bedroom ]
Jim Kurring : This is the LAPD. If there's someone in this closet, come out right now, or you will be shot. [ Marcie begins dragging the couch towards the bedroom ]
Jim Kurring : Marcie! Do not drag that couch any further!
Marcie : There's nobody in my motherfucking closet, motherfucker! This don't make no sense! This don't make no goddamn sense! Why can't you goddamn talk to me? This is bullshit motherfucker! [ Officer Kurring opens the closet and finds a dead body ]
Jim Kurring : Whoa! What the hell is this, Marcie?
Marcie : That ain't mine!
Marcie : This is bullshit. This is fuckin' bullshit.
Jim Kurring : I want you to stay right there, Marcie.
Marcie : This is bullshit motherfucker. Mother-goddamn-fucker it's bullshit and you know it! [ Officer Kurring moves down the hall to investigate a disturbance ]
Marcie : Don't go down my hallway! Don't go down my motherfuckin' hallway! This is bullshit motherfucker! Don't go in my god damn bedroom!
Jim Kurring : This is the LAPD. If there's someone back here...
Marcie : What I tell you? What I tell you? Ain't nobody in there! Where the fuck you goin' motherfuck? Don't go in my motherfuckin' bedroom and stay outta my motherfuckin' closet! [ Officer Kurring enters her bedroom ]
Jim Kurring : This is the LAPD. If there's someone in this closet, come out right now, or you will be shot. [ Marcie begins dragging the couch towards the bedroom ]
Jim Kurring : Marcie! Do not drag that couch any further!
Marcie : There's nobody in my motherfucking closet, motherfucker! This don't make no sense! This don't make no goddamn sense! Why can't you goddamn talk to me? This is bullshit motherfucker! [ Officer Kurring opens the closet and finds a dead body ]
Jim Kurring : Whoa! What the hell is this, Marcie?
Marcie : That ain't mine!
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring : Now calm yourself down.
Marcie : [ shouts ] I am calm!
Jim Kurring : No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone in here?
Marcie : I ain't got to answer none of your questions.
Jim Kurring : No, you don't, but I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you alone in here?
Marcie : What does it look like?
Jim Kurring : There's no one else in here?
Marcie : You in here.
Jim Kurring : That's true, but is there anyone else besides me and you in this house?
Marcie : No, I said that already.
Jim Kurring : Are you lying to me?
Marcie : I live by myself.
Jim Kurring : That might be true, but the question I'm asking you, ma'am: is there anyone else in this house right now?
Marcie : No.
Marcie : [ shouts ] I am calm!
Jim Kurring : No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone in here?
Marcie : I ain't got to answer none of your questions.
Jim Kurring : No, you don't, but I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you alone in here?
Marcie : What does it look like?
Jim Kurring : There's no one else in here?
Marcie : You in here.
Jim Kurring : That's true, but is there anyone else besides me and you in this house?
Marcie : No, I said that already.
Jim Kurring : Are you lying to me?
Marcie : I live by myself.
Jim Kurring : That might be true, but the question I'm asking you, ma'am: is there anyone else in this house right now?
Marcie : No.
Movie: Magnolia
Phil Parma : When was the last time you talked to your son?
Earl Partridge : ...I don't know. Ten, maybe... five... *moans*... that's another thing that goes...
Phil Parma : Your memory?
Earl Partridge : Time lines, you know? I remember things, but not... right there, you know?
Phil Parma : Yeah.
Earl Partridge : 'Yeah.' The fuck do you know?
Phil Parma : I've seen it before.
Earl Partridge : Yeah, other assholes like me.
Phil Parma : Oh, there's no asshole like you.
Earl Partridge : Cocksucker.
Phil Parma : How come every other word you use is either 'cocksucker', 'shitballs' or 'fuck'?
Earl Partridge : ...do me a personal favor.
Phil Parma : Go fuck myself?
Phil Parma : Yeah, you got it.
Earl Partridge : ...I don't know. Ten, maybe... five... *moans*... that's another thing that goes...
Phil Parma : Your memory?
Earl Partridge : Time lines, you know? I remember things, but not... right there, you know?
Phil Parma : Yeah.
Earl Partridge : 'Yeah.' The fuck do you know?
Phil Parma : I've seen it before.
Earl Partridge : Yeah, other assholes like me.
Phil Parma : Oh, there's no asshole like you.
Earl Partridge : Cocksucker.
Phil Parma : How come every other word you use is either 'cocksucker', 'shitballs' or 'fuck'?
Earl Partridge : ...do me a personal favor.
Phil Parma : Go fuck myself?
Phil Parma : Yeah, you got it.
Movie: Magnolia
Jim Kurring : Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me? God, please help me figure this out. I'm lost out here! I don't understand why it's happening. God, please, God! [ sirens ]
Jim Kurring : Whatever it is I did, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to do the right thing. Please, help me find the gun! I... [ points his flashlight at the camera as the sirens get louder ]
Jim Kurring : Whatever it is I did, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to do the right thing. Please, help me find the gun! I... [ points his flashlight at the camera as the sirens get louder ]
Movie: Magnolia
Earl Partridge : What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? Phil, help me, what did I do?
Movie: Magnolia
Gwenovier : So where are you from originally?
Frank T.J. Mackey : Around here.
Gwenovier : The Valley?
Frank T.J. Mackey : Hollywood, mainly.
Gwenovier : What did your parents do?
Frank T.J. Mackey : My father was in television. My mother... This is going to sound silly to you.
Gwenovier : Try me.
Frank T.J. Mackey : She was a librarian.
Gwenovier : Why does that sound silly?
Frank T.J. Mackey : I don't know. I guess it doesn't.
Gwenovier : Does your mother still work?
Frank T.J. Mackey : No, she's retired.
Gwenovier : Are you close?
Frank T.J. Mackey : She's my mother.
Gwenovier : Yes, but... she's a woman, too. How does she feel about "Seduce and Destroy"? What does she say?
Frank T.J. Mackey : Well, she says, "You go get 'em, honey."
Frank T.J. Mackey : Around here.
Gwenovier : The Valley?
Frank T.J. Mackey : Hollywood, mainly.
Gwenovier : What did your parents do?
Frank T.J. Mackey : My father was in television. My mother... This is going to sound silly to you.
Gwenovier : Try me.
Frank T.J. Mackey : She was a librarian.
Gwenovier : Why does that sound silly?
Frank T.J. Mackey : I don't know. I guess it doesn't.
Gwenovier : Does your mother still work?
Frank T.J. Mackey : No, she's retired.
Gwenovier : Are you close?
Frank T.J. Mackey : She's my mother.
Gwenovier : Yes, but... she's a woman, too. How does she feel about "Seduce and Destroy"? What does she say?
Frank T.J. Mackey : Well, she says, "You go get 'em, honey."
Movie: Magnolia