Moral Orel Quotes
Clay: You have never been on my side!
Bloberta Puppington: Why would I be on the side of a self-destructive alcoholic?
Clay: I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night.
Bloberta Puppington: Why would I be on the side of a self-destructive alcoholic?
Clay: I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night.
Movie: Moral Orel
Clay: But I don't know if you realize the true danger of crack. Crack is a gateway to slang.
Orel: Slang?
Clay: Yes. Remember, son... people know who you are by the words you use, not the things you do.
Orel: I'm sorry, Dad. From now on, when I do drugs, I'm going to speak properly.
Clay: Attaboy. Just remember the lost 13th Commandment. Thou shalt not bastardize the American language.
Orel: Slang?
Clay: Yes. Remember, son... people know who you are by the words you use, not the things you do.
Orel: I'm sorry, Dad. From now on, when I do drugs, I'm going to speak properly.
Clay: Attaboy. Just remember the lost 13th Commandment. Thou shalt not bastardize the American language.
Movie: Moral Orel
Clay: You and Shapey are still young, needy, impressionable children so your mother and I have decided to stay together, if only for appearances. The last thing we want people to think is that we don't care about our own kids. That's one fact that's none of their business.
Movie: Moral Orel
Coach Stopframe: [after discovering Orel's penis has been pierced, Coach Stopframe calls Orel's father] Clay, it's Daniel. Saw a little addition to your son's anatomy just now and I'm hoping it's not genetic.
Movie: Moral Orel
Orel: I was wondering, what's the best way to find out what your wife needs to be happy?
Clay: Well, I suppose the best way to know what any woman needs is to read about what other men think women need.
Clay: Well, I suppose the best way to know what any woman needs is to read about what other men think women need.
Movie: Moral Orel
Orel: Gee, dad, I'm sorry I goofed up. I was just trying to be good, so you could love me more than you do now.
Clay: Oh, Orel. I could never love you more! People only have a certain amount of love in them, and I'm afraid I have to divide mine up between at least a dozen people.
Orel: Oh.
Clay: But remember son, I love you enough.
Orel: I love you enough, too, dad!
Clay: Oh, Orel. I could never love you more! People only have a certain amount of love in them, and I'm afraid I have to divide mine up between at least a dozen people.
Orel: Oh.
Clay: But remember son, I love you enough.
Orel: I love you enough, too, dad!
TV Show: Moral Orel
Orel: No Shapey
Shapey: Mine!
Bloberta: Orel play nice with your little brother
Orel: Mom he was pointing the B.B. gun right at his eye.
Bloberta: Well you're the older one deal with it. And for goodness sake give him his toy back. The whole neighborhood's going to think I'm a bad mother.
Orel: Sorry mom. Shapey be careful! Don't blow the tigger!
Shapey: Shut Uuuuupp!
Clay: Orel you know the rule. Don't upset your brother until your dad has had his first highball.
Orel: Sorry Dad, but Shapey..!
Clay: Is only seven. You should know better.
Orel: but
Clay: No buts young man. You need to behave more like an adult around here.
Orel: But I'm only twelve.
Clay: That's no excuse, why your own personal hero Jesus was very mature at your age.
Orel: He was?
Clay: Of course! At age twelve he was already proving the Jews wrong.
Orel: Wow...
(Shapey shoots Orel in the eye)
Orel: Owwww!
Clay and Bloberta: Orel!
Shapey: Mine!
Bloberta: Orel play nice with your little brother
Orel: Mom he was pointing the B.B. gun right at his eye.
Bloberta: Well you're the older one deal with it. And for goodness sake give him his toy back. The whole neighborhood's going to think I'm a bad mother.
Orel: Sorry mom. Shapey be careful! Don't blow the tigger!
Shapey: Shut Uuuuupp!
Clay: Orel you know the rule. Don't upset your brother until your dad has had his first highball.
Orel: Sorry Dad, but Shapey..!
Clay: Is only seven. You should know better.
Orel: but
Clay: No buts young man. You need to behave more like an adult around here.
Orel: But I'm only twelve.
Clay: That's no excuse, why your own personal hero Jesus was very mature at your age.
Orel: He was?
Clay: Of course! At age twelve he was already proving the Jews wrong.
Orel: Wow...
(Shapey shoots Orel in the eye)
Orel: Owwww!
Clay and Bloberta: Orel!
TV Show: Moral Orel
Doughy: Gee why are we sneakin' around this tavern Orel?
Orel: Because Doughy I need to observe maturity and I figure there is no more mature place than...
(Gets cut off by two guys stumbling out of the tavern fighting)
Guy 1: Football!
Guy 2: Hockey!
Guy 1: Football!!!
Guy 2: Hockey!!!
Guy 1: Ahh Football!
Guy 2: Hockey!!!
Orel: Oh! Now's our chance!
Orel: Because Doughy I need to observe maturity and I figure there is no more mature place than...
(Gets cut off by two guys stumbling out of the tavern fighting)
Guy 1: Football!
Guy 2: Hockey!
Guy 1: Football!!!
Guy 2: Hockey!!!
Guy 1: Ahh Football!
Guy 2: Hockey!!!
Orel: Oh! Now's our chance!
TV Show: Moral Orel
Doughy: Gosh Principial Fakey is kissing Nurse Blinkless. I don't understand - isn't he married to Mrs. Fakey?
Orel: Don't question your elders, Doughy. Principial Fakey is in his 50's - he must know the best. We just don't understand yet.
Orel: Don't question your elders, Doughy. Principial Fakey is in his 50's - he must know the best. We just don't understand yet.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Officer Papermount: Don't get me wrong being alone is great. It's just that I don't know what to do with my money.
Bartender: Oh I can think of a few things honey.
Officer Papermount: That's what I'm saying! I'll give you money!
Bartender: Oh I can think of a few things honey.
Officer Papermount: That's what I'm saying! I'll give you money!
TV Show: Moral Orel
Clay: That kid gets more action than I do.
Bloberta: I'm still weaning him Clay.
Clay: Bloberta, he's seven! He should not be using your milk to wash down his meatloaf which I pay for by working that stinkin' dead end job.
Bloberta: Ha ha, I'm so sick of your complaining! Why don't you just quit your job and quit being such a crybaby?
Clay: Oh thanks for the sympathy. You have never been on my side!
Bloberta: Why would I be on the side of a self destructive alcholic?
Clay: I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night!
Bloberta: I'm still weaning him Clay.
Clay: Bloberta, he's seven! He should not be using your milk to wash down his meatloaf which I pay for by working that stinkin' dead end job.
Bloberta: Ha ha, I'm so sick of your complaining! Why don't you just quit your job and quit being such a crybaby?
Clay: Oh thanks for the sympathy. You have never been on my side!
Bloberta: Why would I be on the side of a self destructive alcholic?
Clay: I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night!
TV Show: Moral Orel
(Orel opens the door and turns on the light)
Everyone: Surprise!
Orel: Great. Another year.
(Orel turns off the light and closes the door)
Everyone: Surprise!
Orel: Great. Another year.
(Orel turns off the light and closes the door)
TV Show: Moral Orel
Bloberta: Have a good day at school, dear!
Orel: Ehh, have a good day yourself.
Bloberta: Hmm... Now where have I seen that behavior before? Have a good day at work dear!
Clay: Ehh, have a good day yourself.
Orel: Ehh, have a good day yourself.
Bloberta: Hmm... Now where have I seen that behavior before? Have a good day at work dear!
Clay: Ehh, have a good day yourself.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Clay: I don't know what's gotten into you lately, young man. Our talks just don't seem to be helping.
Orel: But Dad - I thought I was doing what you wanted.
Clay: Why on Earth would I ever want you to take my precious alcholic beverages?
Orel: Because you wanted me to be more adult.
Clay: Orel, drinking on a daily basis is not the only way to be an adult.
Orel: Well I tried not talking about my feelings, too.
Clay: Oh son, behaving like a grown up is many things. First and for most it means doing things that you hate doing.
Orel: Like what, pop?
Clay: Well like dealing with people who make you unhappy, being stressed about things you have no control over, working soul-numbing jobs.
Orel: Ooh
Clay: Then gradually as we endure these hardships and accept them as normal, that's when we finally earned the right to get drunk and be emotionally distant from our families.
Orel: Just like my father. I love you dad.
Clay: I'm hungry too. Let's go eat!
Orel: But Dad - I thought I was doing what you wanted.
Clay: Why on Earth would I ever want you to take my precious alcholic beverages?
Orel: Because you wanted me to be more adult.
Clay: Orel, drinking on a daily basis is not the only way to be an adult.
Orel: Well I tried not talking about my feelings, too.
Clay: Oh son, behaving like a grown up is many things. First and for most it means doing things that you hate doing.
Orel: Like what, pop?
Clay: Well like dealing with people who make you unhappy, being stressed about things you have no control over, working soul-numbing jobs.
Orel: Ooh
Clay: Then gradually as we endure these hardships and accept them as normal, that's when we finally earned the right to get drunk and be emotionally distant from our families.
Orel: Just like my father. I love you dad.
Clay: I'm hungry too. Let's go eat!
TV Show: Moral Orel
Note: The Pilot episode was also the finale. It was aired first, but is chronologically last.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Clay: Son, I know it's been hard over the last few months, what with your Mother's unreasonable demands, but I want you to know your Mother and I have agreed to stay together, for appearance's purposes.
Orel: I prayed you would get back together.
Clay: Well, the last thing we want people to think is that we don't care about our children. That's one fact that's none of their business.
Orel: I prayed you would get back together.
Clay: Well, the last thing we want people to think is that we don't care about our children. That's one fact that's none of their business.
TV Show: Moral Orel
The Puppington Family are having new neighbors the Posubules for dinner, and they're all saying grace.
Everyone: Our Father, who/which art... [Everyone stops, slightly confused, then resumes] ...in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses/debts... [everyone stops again, more conscious, and then continue cautiously forward] ...as we forgive those who trespass/our debtors...
Clay: Debtors?!
Mark Posubule: Trespassers?!
Both: What are you, nuts?! Get out!/Let's go!
Bloberta and Poppet Posubule: Well, you think you know someone!
Mark: Get up, kids! I can't believe you would expose my children to this without my consent?
Clay: Your children? What about my kid, he's only nine!
Orel: Twelve.
Bloberta: Please, just leave!
Poppet: Gladly!
Clay: You don't even understand what the Lord's Prayer means!
Mark: How dare you!? Forgive your debtors!
Clay: Forgive your trespassers!
Mark: You owe me a bottle of wine!
Clay: Get off my property! (Slams the door)
Everyone: Our Father, who/which art... [Everyone stops, slightly confused, then resumes] ...in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses/debts... [everyone stops again, more conscious, and then continue cautiously forward] ...as we forgive those who trespass/our debtors...
Clay: Debtors?!
Mark Posubule: Trespassers?!
Both: What are you, nuts?! Get out!/Let's go!
Bloberta and Poppet Posubule: Well, you think you know someone!
Mark: Get up, kids! I can't believe you would expose my children to this without my consent?
Clay: Your children? What about my kid, he's only nine!
Orel: Twelve.
Bloberta: Please, just leave!
Poppet: Gladly!
Clay: You don't even understand what the Lord's Prayer means!
Mark: How dare you!? Forgive your debtors!
Clay: Forgive your trespassers!
Mark: You owe me a bottle of wine!
Clay: Get off my property! (Slams the door)
TV Show: Moral Orel
Rev. Putty: (praying) Lord, Putty here. Reverend Putty, for what that's worth. I don't know what the deal is with you, but I do and do and do for you, and all I ask is one measly thing in return! Seriously, is a lady really that difficult to conjure up? I mean, you make trees for a living. And I'm saying it could be any lady! Any size, any shape, any colo— I mean, any weight. The point is, I'm not picky. Amen.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Orel: There's just so many ways not to be lonely. There are family, friends, faith... Hey, those are all "F" words. I wonder if there are other ways not to be lonely that also start with "F".
Rev. Putty: (after long pause) Think of any yet?
Orel: Nope.
Rev. Putty: Holy Moley! You are pure pureness in its purest form. It's almost irritating.
Rev. Putty: (after long pause) Think of any yet?
Orel: Nope.
Rev. Putty: Holy Moley! You are pure pureness in its purest form. It's almost irritating.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Orel: I think that as long as you have at least one of those "F" words in your life, you can't be lonely. For you see, a lot of the problems starts when people get too greedy and want all of the "F" words, and don't appreciate the ones that they have. Then they're just making their live miserable...and who ever heard of somebody actually wanting to make his life miserable. Amen.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Rev. Putty: Let's just cut the reverend stuff, okay?
Stephanie: What would you prefer? Pastor? Minister? Brother? Rod?
Rev. Putty: How about Father?
Stephanie: Sounds a little too Catholic, doesn't it?
Rev. Putty: You're right. Better make it Dad.
Stephanie: What would you prefer? Pastor? Minister? Brother? Rod?
Rev. Putty: How about Father?
Stephanie: Sounds a little too Catholic, doesn't it?
Rev. Putty: You're right. Better make it Dad.
TV Show: Moral Orel
Clay: (as Orel undoes his pants for a "lesson") Forget it, save it.
Orel: But...aren't you going to teach me a lesson?
Clay: No, I'm not.
Orel: So, what does this mean, you're giving up on me, Dad?
Clay: Orel, a father never gives up on his son, because then he's not really a father; and if I'm not a father, all I really am is a husband, and that's practically worthless.
Orel: Uh-huh.
Clay: Also, you did follow my advice, kiddo, so punishing you would be an admission of wrongness on my part, and believe you me, that ain't gonna happen.
Orel: So why did we even come in here?
Clay: Well, we had to cast what's called a smoke-screen.
Orel: A smoke-screen?
Clay: Yes, it's a valuable tool I use in order to give your mother the illusion that I'm actually doing my job as your father.
Orel: Neat! You're the best, Dad. I love you.
Clay: Sure do. Well, we got about one more minute in here. (Orel and Clay just stand and sit there for just over a minute while the credits roll)
Orel: But...aren't you going to teach me a lesson?
Clay: No, I'm not.
Orel: So, what does this mean, you're giving up on me, Dad?
Clay: Orel, a father never gives up on his son, because then he's not really a father; and if I'm not a father, all I really am is a husband, and that's practically worthless.
Orel: Uh-huh.
Clay: Also, you did follow my advice, kiddo, so punishing you would be an admission of wrongness on my part, and believe you me, that ain't gonna happen.
Orel: So why did we even come in here?
Clay: Well, we had to cast what's called a smoke-screen.
Orel: A smoke-screen?
Clay: Yes, it's a valuable tool I use in order to give your mother the illusion that I'm actually doing my job as your father.
Orel: Neat! You're the best, Dad. I love you.
Clay: Sure do. Well, we got about one more minute in here. (Orel and Clay just stand and sit there for just over a minute while the credits roll)
TV Show: Moral Orel