Mr. Show Quotes
Anthony "One Time" Branca (David): The both of youze can grab onto my books, mother-father, Chinese dentist.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Father of Thomas, the adventurer (Bob): Nooooo! Let Thomas do it himself. Climbed Mt. Everest!?!?
TV Show: Mr. Show
Lane Wellesby, actor trainer and handler (John Ennis): There's a reason for the phrase, "as dumb as an actor".
TV Show: Mr. Show
Jonathan, blind girl's friend (Bob): Well, then if you're blind, how do you know I'm a ... homosexual?
TV Show: Mr. Show
Dougie Bendel, Dalai Lama (Bob): William van Landingham?!
William van Landingham III (Jerry Messing): The Third, my dear boy!
William van Landingham III (Jerry Messing): The Third, my dear boy!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Dougie Bendel, Dalai Lama (Bob): A rap, rap, a rap rap rap. A rap, rap, a rap tap tap. Get rappin' with it. Heyyyyy. Get rappin' with it. Hohhhh!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Damn, his science is too tight!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Damn, his science is too tight!
TV Show: Mr. Show
"Go-to" guy (Jay Johnston): Hey mom, could you pass the gravy?
"Go-to" guy's mom (unknown): That wasn't part of the deal!
"Go-to" guy's mom (unknown): That wasn't part of the deal!
TV Show: Mr. Show
David (as "himself"): You know, Jill's ingested so much soil, her stomach oughta be listed in the "Worm Apartment Guide"!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Garry Flank documentary voiceover (unknown): That's when tragedy struck. Captain Tragedy.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Larry Branson (Bob): Maybe he wasn't such a chicken-shit after all ... Bartender? ... My life!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Hypnotherapist (Becky Thyre): What are you doing in the cemetery, Charles?
Charles ______ (David): I just wanna dig up a corpse and have sexual relations with it!
Charles ______ (David): I just wanna dig up a corpse and have sexual relations with it!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Civil War Reenactment piece narrator (Jeff Goldblum): He dreamed of one day finding a box of money.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Member of Edmond Premington's audience (David): You don't know what words mean, do you?
TV Show: Mr. Show
Reporter (David): And I understand you met Napoleon?
2000 lb. Old Man (Bob): Met him?...I et him!
2000 lb. Old Man (Bob): Met him?...I et him!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Lucian, He Who Watches All of Television (unknown): The irony's as bittersweet as...tears on Turkish Delight!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Cyrus ______ (David): Frame it, bury it, walk 20 paces away, dig it up in 15 years and teach the world to sing!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Willips Brighton (Bob): And my heart feels like a mouth full of sores. A mouth full of sores ain't no fun.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Willips Brighton (Bob): Take it from me, a guy who has mouth sores, I know the value of a mouth without sores.
TV Show: Mr. Show