My Family Quotes
Chloe: Those old people are swingers.
Susan Harper: Swingers? As in Glenn Miller, or as in Glenn Miller, his wife and the rest of his band?
Susan Harper: Swingers? As in Glenn Miller, or as in Glenn Miller, his wife and the rest of his band?
TV Show: My Family
Michael: How's it going? How are you finding us?
Alfie: Yeah. Your family are very nice.
Michael: Give it time.
Alfie: Yeah. Your family are very nice.
Michael: Give it time.
TV Show: My Family
Stephanie: I don't know why I'm so attracted to you.
Nick Harper: Ah, there must be a million reasons.
Stephanie: No. There's something in your eyes that says...
Nick Harper: Amore?
Stephanie: Danger.
Nick Harper: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Stephanie: I've always been drawn to danger. That's why I got into this job.
Nick Harper: I've always liked danger too. That's why I got into... whatever it is I'm going to get into.
Stephanie: Can I ask you something?
Nick Harper: Once. But I didn't inhale.
Stephanie: Why has your mum got this urge to confess?
Nick Harper: Mum thinks she talked him to death, and Janey thinks it was the food.
Stephanie: And what do you think?
Nick Harper: I think you're not wearing a bra.
Nick Harper: Ah, there must be a million reasons.
Stephanie: No. There's something in your eyes that says...
Nick Harper: Amore?
Stephanie: Danger.
Nick Harper: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Stephanie: I've always been drawn to danger. That's why I got into this job.
Nick Harper: I've always liked danger too. That's why I got into... whatever it is I'm going to get into.
Stephanie: Can I ask you something?
Nick Harper: Once. But I didn't inhale.
Stephanie: Why has your mum got this urge to confess?
Nick Harper: Mum thinks she talked him to death, and Janey thinks it was the food.
Stephanie: And what do you think?
Nick Harper: I think you're not wearing a bra.
TV Show: My Family
Susan: My mum's like a horror movie. If we all don't stick together, she'll pick us off one at a time.
TV Show: My Family
Susan Harper: Please, Ben. Let's get a dog.
Ben Harper: Isn't this house crowded enough? It's like the hotel in "The Shining", except it's never vacant and I don't get to go crazy and kill the family.
Ben Harper: Isn't this house crowded enough? It's like the hotel in "The Shining", except it's never vacant and I don't get to go crazy and kill the family.
TV Show: My Family
Susan: Come on, it's just us girls, so tell.
Janey: Nothing to tell.
Susan: All right, OK; I was just curious, you know. I'm here, you're here, no pressure. Whenever you want to talk. [Susan reads the newspaper]
Susan: Oh for God's sake. The only reason why I had a daughter was to have these intimate moments. Give me something.
Janey: OK, well, what do you want to hear? That dinner was nice, the movie was OK; oh, and he was a great kisser until he wouldn't stop.
Susan: Stop kissing?
Janey: What do you think?
Susan: Oh my God.
Janey: Oh, please mum. It's not an 'oh my God'; it could have been but it wasn't.
Susan: What did you do?
Janey: Well, he didn't understand the word no, so I used international sign language - heel palm to the jaw! We learnt it in PE.
Susan: Good Lord, all we learnt in PE was how to climb a rope.
Janey: What, in case the Vikings attacked?
Janey: Nothing to tell.
Susan: All right, OK; I was just curious, you know. I'm here, you're here, no pressure. Whenever you want to talk. [Susan reads the newspaper]
Susan: Oh for God's sake. The only reason why I had a daughter was to have these intimate moments. Give me something.
Janey: OK, well, what do you want to hear? That dinner was nice, the movie was OK; oh, and he was a great kisser until he wouldn't stop.
Susan: Stop kissing?
Janey: What do you think?
Susan: Oh my God.
Janey: Oh, please mum. It's not an 'oh my God'; it could have been but it wasn't.
Susan: What did you do?
Janey: Well, he didn't understand the word no, so I used international sign language - heel palm to the jaw! We learnt it in PE.
Susan: Good Lord, all we learnt in PE was how to climb a rope.
Janey: What, in case the Vikings attacked?
TV Show: My Family
Susan: (about Roger and Abi) You see that, he fancies her. It's so sweet.
Ben: It is not sweet, it's dangerous!
Susan: Why? I think they'd make a nice couple.
Ben: Two wrongs do not make a right.
Ben: It is not sweet, it's dangerous!
Susan: Why? I think they'd make a nice couple.
Ben: Two wrongs do not make a right.
TV Show: My Family
Susan: Oh, I worry about Abi, I feel that Craig is using her.
Ben: Thank God someone's found a use for her.
Ben: Thank God someone's found a use for her.
TV Show: My Family
Ben: Who invented Christmas anyway? The sparkly lights, the happy carolers, the rosey cheeked children. Oh, hand me my spit bowl.
TV Show: My Family
Ben: Susan, admit it. All these years, you have been screwing up the kids. It's me, I've been the perfect parent.
TV Show: My Family
Ben: (To Susan) Come on, don't fight it. This could be your only chance to find out what your kids get up to when you're not there. What's the harm in one little look? You know you want to...
TV Show: My Family
Ben: Don't worry, I've got a way out of this... (pulls out a bottle of wine from inside his coat) Drink!
TV Show: My Family
Ben: (after a patient has finished talking about the joys of children) You haven't got a clue what you're talking about, have you?
TV Show: My Family
Ben: (Susan complains about how people are forced to lock up their true emotions) Susan, I'm a dentist. I spend all day listening to how people really feel, and it's usually "Ouch!" and after a long day of "Ouch!", I like to come home to a bit of "Aah..."
TV Show: My Family
Ben: (talking to Michael about death) When I was younger, I thought people died because life was unfair. Then you and your brother and sister were born, and I realized life really was unfair.
TV Show: My Family
Ben: (to Abi) You, you're demented! (to Michael) You, you're unhinged! (to Nick) You, you're just... you!
TV Show: My Family
Ben: Look, your mother's sweet and everything, and we love her, but there's something wrong with her brain!
TV Show: My Family
[after he goes unconscious from a hangover and Nick revives him with the kiss of life]
Ben: I'm not dead, Nick!!! I'm drunk!!!
Ben: I'm not dead, Nick!!! I'm drunk!!!
TV Show: My Family
(To Susan after talking about bonding with Micheal by watching football)
Ben: It's the bonding that I never had with Janie, or the ....the thing.
Ben: It's the bonding that I never had with Janie, or the ....the thing.
TV Show: My Family
Nick: Hey Dad. How about it eh? Our little girl flying the nest. Before you know it Michael will be gone too. Then it will just be the three of us as it was meant to be.
TV Show: My Family
Nick: Here we have a typical english home and there we have a typical english man. Hey Dad. As you can see he's taken the day off to slob around in his dressing gown. There's the telly and there's his bannana sandwich. Some of you may be interested to know he's just had a big falling out with his daughter after he called her a prostitute.
TV Show: My Family
[Seeing Ben asleep on the sofa]
Nick: What putrefaction is this? Michael holy water. Music. Be thou not afraid.
Nick: What putrefaction is this? Michael holy water. Music. Be thou not afraid.
TV Show: My Family
Ben Harper: Ignorance is bliss.
Susan Harper: Then you must be the happiest man in the world.
Susan Harper: Then you must be the happiest man in the world.
TV Show: My Family
(Michael attempts to follow Nick and Janey to the pub)
Ben Harper: Hey, you're not allowed in pubs.
Michael Harper: I am if I have a plated meal in a clearly designated restaurant area.
Ben Harper: Hey, you're not allowed in pubs.
Michael Harper: I am if I have a plated meal in a clearly designated restaurant area.
TV Show: My Family
Nick Harper: Dad, have you seen the car keys?
Ben Harper: No.
Nick Harper: (holds up the keys and jingles them in his face) Well take a good look, I won't be back till late!
Ben Harper: No.
Nick Harper: (holds up the keys and jingles them in his face) Well take a good look, I won't be back till late!
TV Show: My Family
(Ben and Susan are discussing Janey's new friend, Kate, who is a lesbian)
Susan Harper: (looking at the positive side of things) It's good Kate's a lesbian.
Ben Harper: Yeah?
Susan Harper: There are many notable lesbians in history.
Ben Harper: Really?
Susan Harper: Cathrine the Great.
Ben Harper: Name says it all.
Susan Harper: kd lang.
Ben Harper: Amazing voice. Sharon Simpson.
Susan Harper: Who?
Ben Harper: One of my patients. She's got lovely teeth.
Susan Harper: (looking at the positive side of things) It's good Kate's a lesbian.
Ben Harper: Yeah?
Susan Harper: There are many notable lesbians in history.
Ben Harper: Really?
Susan Harper: Cathrine the Great.
Ben Harper: Name says it all.
Susan Harper: kd lang.
Ben Harper: Amazing voice. Sharon Simpson.
Susan Harper: Who?
Ben Harper: One of my patients. She's got lovely teeth.
TV Show: My Family
(Ben arrives home to find Susan auditioning numerous clowns for Kenzo's third birthday party)
Ben Harper: Susan, I though we had a deal that you'd warn me when the inlaws were coming?
Susan Harper: Oh, I'm glad your here. I'd like to introduce you to Cheerful Charlie Chortle, Uncle Morris, and The Amazing Beppo.
Ben Harper: Well if they're here, who's running the country?
Ben Harper: Susan, I though we had a deal that you'd warn me when the inlaws were coming?
Susan Harper: Oh, I'm glad your here. I'd like to introduce you to Cheerful Charlie Chortle, Uncle Morris, and The Amazing Beppo.
Ben Harper: Well if they're here, who's running the country?
TV Show: My Family