Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quote
Tom Servo: I've asked Joel if he'd raise the level on my sarcasm sequencer.
Joel: [using screwdriver on back of Tom's dome] That ought to do it.
Tom Servo: Oh, yes. Oh, while you're at it, why don't you keep digging into my back? A warm, relaxing massage with a screwdriver? Oooooooh, sign me up for that!
Crow: I think it's working.
Tom Servo: The great Crow speaks? Oooooooh, let me anoint your beak with scented oils. Membership in the Crow Fan Club? Oh, it's dream come true for me. Ooooh...
Magic Voice: Commercial sign in fifteen seconds.
Tom Servo: Commercials? Oh boy, I can't wait. Thirty-second materialistic sound bites that insult our intelligence? Ooooooh, give me more of those!
Joel: Uh, I'm gonna have to adjust Tom's sarcasm sequencer. We'll be back after that.
Magic Voice: Commercial sign in 5... 4... 3... 2... commercial sign now.
Tom Servo: Oh, is the great Joel Robinson going to honor me with his attention? A blessing in disguise? I don't think so! Oh, did a little harder, Joel, I can't feel the pain yet.
Crow: You've got him uh, set on uh, constant sarcasm, and you're gonna want to have him on random. Pretty much, I think.
Joel: Uh, duh, no kidding. Yeah, I put him on random sarcasm, so he'll only be sarcastic at the appropriate time. Like uh, when someone mentions, uh, like, uh, Pia Zadora?
Tom Servo: Well, actually, I think making fun of her has become a clichÈ. Everybody does it. And you know, in her favor, she was in a John Waters film, you guys.
Joel: Okay, well, what about... ummm... Dan Quayle?
Tom Servo: Oh, look, Dan Quayle scares me as much as the next guy, but everybody and their sister has come up with a sarcastic Dan Quayle quip. It's just too easy.
Joel: I'm not even gonna mention G
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
