Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quotes
Crow T. Robot: Breaker 1-9 for the big booty, we got a spam in the can and we'll catch you on the big bounce around. Over.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Can we break your hat open now and eat the popcorn?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Citrusville, City of Progress. Where everyone is juiced.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Come on, kid, get your act together. Just read Catcher in the Rye and deal with it
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Crush someone with an emotional word or an enigmatic look!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Dear Diary: Once again the fat guy got the bed...
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Do not use sharp objects for three weeks after viewing this movie.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: He's got a tree. He's got a tree. This isn't the Godzilla we know.
Joel: Hertz, don't it?
Tom Servo: A tree? That's not like you. Why, Godzilla? Why?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: He's like Jean Claude Van Damme.
Mike Nelson: Actually he's more like Jean Claude Gosh Darn.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Hey check out Pee Wee's evil brother on the right.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: His Mickey Mouse gloves give him incredible power.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Hmm, Coke, Sprite, Pepto Bismol, United Airlines... Steve Guttenburg...
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Dr. Forrester: That's fine, Joel. Have you petty little insurrection. Just remember you're trapped in space dressed like happy *kings*, and Frank and I are down here on Earth, free to do whatever we want. [Frank enters reading TV guide]
TV's Frank: Hey, Dr. F., there's a Matlock marathon on tonight. You in?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow: [during a song number] Heck, when they said amateur night they weren't kidding.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow: [his testemony in Mike's trial] Hi. I'm Crow T. Robot, and I'm just letting you know Mike Nelson is [beep]
Crow: ing innocent, so [beep]
Crow: you [beep]
Crow: ers. And that goes for your bull [bleep]
Crow: court system too. Mike, I'm so [bleep]
Crow: ing sorry I couldn't be there, so take care you [beep]
Crow: er.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow: [Nick opens the fridge, all that's in it is green goo in a bag] Loser status confirmed!
Tom Servo: Please... eat... me!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow: [on a freaky nightmare] This is what happened when I took NyQuill and sudafed together.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Hmmmm. Qualified. Qualified? Hmmmm. Wow, what a question! Me, Crow T. Robot, what do I think? Am I qualified? Wow! That's a heavy burden. How can I make a difference? CAN I make a difference? Oh surely, I'm but a single bot, alone, as it were, in the vast universe thing. Maybe I can change the world. [more positive]
Crow T. Robot: Perhaps I've looked at life from upside down. Hmmmm. Hey Cambot! Move it in a little and, uh, cue that uh moody music. Well, what would Joel do in a situation like this? No, no, nope nope, no, uh. I've got to learn to think for myself. To stand on my own two foot-like apendages. Seize the day. Yes. Think globally, act locally. Yes, by god, I can do it! Why, I could start a letter-writing campaign, yeah, that would help. And, uh, I could organize a bake sale. Or, uh, hey! We could ALL help! Come on friends, run to your window and shout, "I'm really cheesed and I'm not gonna hang around 'till this thing gets better!" Uh, why organize a, uh, improv group and do gorilla theatre at the food court in your mall. Dress a little differently. Make it more exciting for you and your spouse. Or here's an idea: toss a little cajun spice into the party mix and watch the fun. Put on a one-man show and talk about your true inner feelings in an emotionally-charged, gut-wrenching, autobiographical account of your warped adolesence, and then watch the grant money come in. Whoooo! But don't snap judge me. And then, watch that - uh, uh, I know! Put a drop of vanilla behind each ear and youÌll smell like a cookie all day! [Getting more excited]
Crow T. Robot: Or, eat an apple: nature's toothbrush. Ask Mr. Owl how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie center. Have you met everyone on your block? Now would be a nice time to start, doncha think? Hmmmm. In a classroom, slide your desks together and create an ecology symbol. Police the lives of those around you and get your s
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Hooker's a good cop!
Joel: I know he's a good cop. Had we been on the same team, I think we might have been friends. He's a good cop, but he'll make an even better... CORPSE! Ah-ha-ha-ha-HAHAHAAA!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Hot merging action!
Joel: Oh, my goodness, they merged successfully. My heart was in my throat.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000