Neighbors Quotes
Ramona: He tried to pork me.
Earl Keese: Pork you? What?
Ramona: You know you did.
Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese: Enid... help me.
Earl Keese: Pork you? What?
Ramona: You know you did.
Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese: Enid... help me.
Movie: Neighbors
The Boy: Her father's abused her long enough. I want to marry her and take her home to MY father!
Movie: Neighbors
Vic: Hey Earl, want some of your daughter's panties? They come in four flavors; banana, peach, mint and, of course, CHERRY.
Movie: Neighbors
Vic: We might have had a wonderful relationship. But then, as Arthur Bremer once said: How many things go right in this crazy world?.
Movie: Neighbors
Vic: Old Earl here was worried about Baby.
Enid Keese: Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.
Vic: Don't worry, I will.
Enid Keese: [to Earl] They spoil him awfully.
Vic: Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.
Enid Keese: Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.
Vic: Don't worry, I will.
Enid Keese: [to Earl] They spoil him awfully.
Vic: Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.
Movie: Neighbors
Vic: We haven't any children, unless Ramona just pumped one out and didn't tell me about it.
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Vic: We're waiting, or do I have to pound it out of you?
Earl Keese: Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!
Vic: Why would I?
Earl Keese: You just did.
Vic: I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.
Earl Keese: I never say it.
Vic: I don't blame you.
Earl Keese: Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!
Vic: Why would I?
Earl Keese: You just did.
Vic: I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.
Earl Keese: I never say it.
Vic: I don't blame you.
Movie: Neighbors
Vic: Ramona and I haven't eaten all day. We could eat a baby's butt through a park bench.
Movie: Neighbors
Wilma Flintstone: We're Wilma, Fred, and Pebbles.
Hidea Frankenstone: [shakes Fred's hand] So nice to meet you, Pebbles.
Fred Flintstone: [points to Pebbles] That's Pebbles.
Hidea Frankenstone: Oh I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Wilma.
Fred Flintstone: [points to Wilma] SHE'S Wilma!
Hidea Frankenstone: Goodness, I'm so terrible with names.
Hidea Frankenstone: [shakes Fred's hand] So nice to meet you, Pebbles.
Fred Flintstone: [points to Pebbles] That's Pebbles.
Hidea Frankenstone: Oh I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Wilma.
Fred Flintstone: [points to Wilma] SHE'S Wilma!
Hidea Frankenstone: Goodness, I'm so terrible with names.
Movie: Neighbors
[Donald hears the doorbell ring and he begrudgingly answers it]
Donald Duck: [angrily] Now look here, I... [He sees Pete and his dog Muncey at the door. Pete is holding a bowl of some soup-like liquid]
Pete: Hi, neighbor. [Pete hands Donald the bowl]
Pete: Try this.
Donald Duck: [taking the bowl] Oh, thank you. [He samples and savors the soup]
Donald Duck: Mm-mm! Delicious!
Pete: [to Muncey] See? He eats it. [Donald gags and sputters on the liquid and looks shocked]
Pete: [walking away with Muncey] The trouble with you, Muncey, you're too finicky.
Donald Duck: [angrily] Now look here, I... [He sees Pete and his dog Muncey at the door. Pete is holding a bowl of some soup-like liquid]
Pete: Hi, neighbor. [Pete hands Donald the bowl]
Pete: Try this.
Donald Duck: [taking the bowl] Oh, thank you. [He samples and savors the soup]
Donald Duck: Mm-mm! Delicious!
Pete: [to Muncey] See? He eats it. [Donald gags and sputters on the liquid and looks shocked]
Pete: [walking away with Muncey] The trouble with you, Muncey, you're too finicky.
Movie: Neighbors
Pete: He puts his dick in your mouth while you were asleep, bitch!
Assjuice: Uh-uh, I wasn't asleep.
Assjuice: Uh-uh, I wasn't asleep.
Movie: Neighbors
Pete: Do you think maybe we've gone too far? I'm a child of divorce and I sympathize with them.
Teddy Sanders: My parents love each other, and I think it's hilarious.
Teddy Sanders: My parents love each other, and I think it's hilarious.
Movie: Neighbors
Teddy Sanders: We're throwing a Robert De Niro party.
Pete: You call the cops, you violate the circle of trust, Focker.
Mac Radner: Who are you?
Garf: I'm Sam Jackson from Jackie Brown.
Scoonie: [pause]Hoah!
Garf: Hooah!
Kelly Radner: That's actually Al Pacino.
Garf: The Path of the righteous man.
Mac Radner: That's the wrong Sam Jackson speech.
Pete: You call the cops, you violate the circle of trust, Focker.
Mac Radner: Who are you?
Garf: I'm Sam Jackson from Jackie Brown.
Scoonie: [pause]Hoah!
Garf: Hooah!
Kelly Radner: That's actually Al Pacino.
Garf: The Path of the righteous man.
Mac Radner: That's the wrong Sam Jackson speech.
Movie: Neighbors
Teddy Sanders: You make the store more approachable.
Mac Radner: Like, I'm more of an attainable goal?
Teddy Sanders: Yeah, you're like Relaxed Fit.
Mac Radner: Like, I'm more of an attainable goal?
Teddy Sanders: Yeah, you're like Relaxed Fit.
Movie: Neighbors
Officer Watkins: You called about your neighbors?
Mac Radner: No.
Officer Watkins: We have caller ID, we're cops, everybody has caller ID.
Mac Radner: No.
Officer Watkins: We have caller ID, we're cops, everybody has caller ID.
Movie: Neighbors
Pete: Bros before hoes
Pete: Junk before Trunk
Teddy Sanders: Balls before dolls
Pete: Padres before I sleep with two Madres
Teddy Sanders: Brad Pitt before Grab Glit
Pete: These nuts before skinny sl***
Teddy Sanders: M********* before ask her to date
Pete: Beef stew before watching The View
Teddy Sanders: Male erection before One Direction
Pete: Mario and Luigi before Thelma and Laweezie
Teddy Sanders: Bert and Ernie before Squirt and Spermy
Pete: Man purses before regular purses
Teddy Sanders: Sports before genital warts
Pete: John Madden before Jasmine from Aladdin
Pete: Junk before Trunk
Teddy Sanders: Balls before dolls
Pete: Padres before I sleep with two Madres
Teddy Sanders: Brad Pitt before Grab Glit
Pete: These nuts before skinny sl***
Teddy Sanders: M********* before ask her to date
Pete: Beef stew before watching The View
Teddy Sanders: Male erection before One Direction
Pete: Mario and Luigi before Thelma and Laweezie
Teddy Sanders: Bert and Ernie before Squirt and Spermy
Pete: Man purses before regular purses
Teddy Sanders: Sports before genital warts
Pete: John Madden before Jasmine from Aladdin
Movie: Neighbors
Assjuice: Do you know how many bj's they promised me?
Assjuice: Infinite bj's. They promised me infinite bj's
Assjuice: Infinite bj's. They promised me infinite bj's
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Jimmy: [Assjuice puts the glasses on]He looks like J.J. Abrams. He look good. He looks okay.
Movie: Neighbors